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#1
04-17-2004, 09:56 AM
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Blasphemy!!
Never mind Salman Rushdie's Satanic Verses, or claiming that we're descended from apes. Post something here that will really set the lynch mob after you.
Example: The Star Wars Christmas Special is canon.
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"Slippery Slope" is how you start out with the Twelve Apostles of Jesus, and end up with Roderic de Borgia as Pope Alexander VI 
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#2
04-17-2004, 10:15 AM
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Wesley Crusher was the best character ever out of all the series and movies of Trek.
Han shot first. Willow is unattractive to either sex. Poco is better than Toto.
__________________
That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die.
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#4
04-17-2004, 10:44 AM
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OK.
Muhammed was a warmongering psychotic. Jesus was gay, and his visions and assertions of godhead were the result of ingesting psychotropic herbs. St. Paul was a deep cover agent for the Sanhedrin, assigned to distort the Jesus sect from within so that Jews would reject it. He got in a little too deep, and the plan worked a little too well. There is no magical sky pixie, and those who require such a belief in order to behave decently are morally inferior to those who do so on their own. Gautama Siddhartha was a libertine con man who deceived his followers into sacrificing their goods to him in hopes of acheiving a mystical state of perfection.
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Nametag is my hero - chorpler Let Nametag henceforth be known as the subjunctive king! - trupa
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#5
04-17-2004, 11:00 AM
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Bill Clinton was one of the best Republican presidents we've ever had.
__________________
The poodle bites! --more-- The poodle chews it! --more-- You die... --more-- Do you want your possessions identified? (Y/n)
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#7
04-17-2004, 11:50 AM
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I think fur coats look great.
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#9
04-17-2004, 11:55 AM
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Britney Spears is still, um, intact.
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#11
04-17-2004, 01:14 PM
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SUVs are the greatest vehicle ever made.
Everybody should always drive the speed limit in the fast lane. "The Princess Bride" really wasn't that great.
__________________
"Your guilty consciences may make you vote Democratic, but secretly you all yearn for a Republican president to lower taxes, brutalize criminals, and rule you like a king!" - S. Bob
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#13
04-17-2004, 01:25 PM
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"I'm sensing some _____, Captain." Need I say more?
Enterprise is canon. Church canon, that is.
__________________
Don't you wish we had these hamsters instead? "Ah Turgekenistan, one of the more easygoing of the imaginary East European nations." BOFH Everyone involved with religion or politics should read this comic; actually, everyone period. "If there's a bug that ties the end result to the number of letters in a candidate's name, the programmer has the IQ of a mousepad."
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#14
04-17-2004, 01:27 PM
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Quote:
 Jimi Hendrix was a hack guitarist who used studio tricks to make his music. Boston will never win the World Series. Eating veal is a crime. Eating red meat at all is a crime. Bill Gates life and achievements are a good thing.
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#15
04-17-2004, 01:29 PM
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Eminem is the pinacle of music in the western world
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Lime and limpid green the second scene The fights between the blue you once knew Floating down the sound resounds Around the icy waters underground -Pink Floyd, Astronomy Dominé
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#16
04-17-2004, 01:36 PM
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Jordan's Wheel of Time series is pure genius.
Jordan's Wheel of Time series is nothing more than drivel. There, now I'll get it from both sides. 
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Your Official Cat Goddess since 10/20/99. featherlou: So, in order to remain a member you must post meaningful things? That's going to be a little hard on, oh, 99% of the membership.
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#19
04-17-2004, 02:13 PM
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Star Wars wasn't very good. Except those prequel things. Those were the best movies ever made. Jar Jar Binks is the funniest character!
SNL is WAY better than that Monty Python crap. Especially these last few years. Garfield, BC, and Family Circus are funnier than any other cartoon published today. Piers Anthony is one of the leading writers working today. I feel so dirty.
__________________
And so Cecil decreed, You shall bring the evildoers forth and from them pluck the Lincoln, for it is precious to me. I will return with the running of the horses and if my deed is done ye shall be blessed with the sweet delicacies of sticked candys. And so it was done. As Cecil departed, the monitors dimmed and the teemings wept. --nocturnal_tick
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#20
04-17-2004, 02:49 PM
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Lord of the Rings was boring, dorky, and the most overrated movie series I've ever seen.
Vegetarians are overly sensitive hippies. The Atkins diet is ridiculous. Sexual harrassment lawsuits are stupid and way out of hand. Michael Jackson gets a bad rap. *Ducks and runs for cover*
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#21
04-17-2004, 02:58 PM
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NASCAR is fake.
Oh, and Dale Sr... closet queen.
__________________
"Cars are really cool. And among boys, Hummers are really cool." Overheard on Tom Peters: Re-Imagine Business Excellence in a Disruptive Age on PBS
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#22
04-17-2004, 03:05 PM
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Everything in Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code is absolutely true.
I must shower now. I feel dirty.
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#23
04-17-2004, 03:13 PM
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The thing I would say on THIS board to REALLY GET IT:
Fat people are lazy and stupid and shouldn't be allowed to live! Oh og, I'm scared....
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#24
04-17-2004, 07:58 PM
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"She deserved it because she was wearing a thong under her pants."
I read a court case involving this, and I feel dirty repeating it.
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The beast what squeeks. -Irish - Austin, TX
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#26
04-17-2004, 10:11 PM
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Jesus had it coming.
__________________
"Cars are really cool. And among boys, Hummers are really cool." Overheard on Tom Peters: Re-Imagine Business Excellence in a Disruptive Age on PBS
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#28
04-17-2004, 11:39 PM
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Cecil lies.
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#30
04-18-2004, 12:21 AM
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Gay people will all burn in hell, those AIDS-spreading abominations to our one Lord and God.
Scylla is boring, and tells really boring stories about his stupid kids and ugly and talentless wife Aquarius82. Master Wang-Ka's stories are even more boring.
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#31
04-18-2004, 12:25 AM
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Macs rule. PCs suck. (or vice versa)
These newer, "family friendly" movies Eddie Murphy makes are way better than his earlier stuff. Thank God they cancelled Firefly, Freaks & Geeks and Angel. Nobody was watching that crap.
__________________
Smart. Hip. Dipstick.
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#32
04-18-2004, 12:47 AM
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Quote:
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#33
04-18-2004, 01:55 AM
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"Kaja Goo Goo" were the most visionary, ground-breaking band of the 1980s; indeed, besides having spearheaded New Wave, both Grunge and Gangsta Rap are cleary derivatives of "The Kaj" sound. It's high time the so-called "critics" and self-appointed "musical cognoscenti" owned up to it.
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#34
04-18-2004, 04:54 AM
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Feng Shui really works! I now have more money AND a new boyfriend, all thanks to the dragon luck energy that I got from putting my couch over there instead of over here, where I had it.*
So last night, as I was having a conversation with my dead father/the aliens/an angel/Elvis/my cat/the invisble pink flying unicorn/an invisible 6 foot tall rabbit... Astrology is always accurate and precise! As I was typing this, I realized that I know nothing about Feng Shui. So, I made it up 
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#36
04-18-2004, 05:05 AM
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Those SF'ers that keep appearing on the boards make some interesting points.
I need some alcohol and some sandpaper because I'm feeling real dirty.
__________________
"Everyone's got a right to cry on someone's shoulder, but you've two shoulders of your own." For those who deserve to be remembered Faith Evans - 1987 - 2008 - I will miss you dearly
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#38
04-18-2004, 09:51 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Smart. Hip. Dipstick.
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#39
04-18-2004, 10:22 AM
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Football is such a wussy sport.
Pinstripes make the Yankees look gay. Metallica's latest album is by far their best. Seriously, whats so great about boobs?? Gravity? I mean come on, do you believe everything you're told? (And for the locals) U of Tennessee orange is a nasty hideous color resembling cones on the highway or a hunter trying not to get shot. Actually it may not be the pinstripes - it may just be that the Yankee's love man juice.
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~ Nothing to see here
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#40
04-18-2004, 10:33 AM
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The 3 words that end in -gry are?
Where did the dollar go?
__________________
Victory means exit strategy, and it's important for the president to explain to us what the exit strategy is." G. W. Bush re Kosovo, Houston Chronicle April 9, 1999
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#41
04-18-2004, 11:25 AM
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Heinlein was a hack kid's author in the 50s who wrote nothing of note until the last couple of books such as Job or The twat who walks through walls.
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#42
04-18-2004, 11:59 AM
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Oooh, ooh, I thought of a good one - all ghost, esp, ouija board, witch, demon, telekinesis, precognition, spooky stories are ALL TRUE!!! Every one of them! And there's probably even more spooky stuff that's true too, that we don't even know about yet!
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#44
04-18-2004, 12:08 PM
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Quote:
The Vols are the best college football team in the nation, and anyone who doesn't attend every game is guilty of treason. After all, not wearing Vol Orange makes the Baby Jesus cry.
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#45
04-18-2004, 12:21 PM
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Caddyshack is a highly overrated movie.
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#46
04-18-2004, 02:19 PM
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Quote:
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#47
04-18-2004, 03:44 PM
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You know what, we really need more smilies. In fact we should have smilies for every occasion.
__________________
"Everyone's got a right to cry on someone's shoulder, but you've two shoulders of your own." For those who deserve to be remembered Faith Evans - 1987 - 2008 - I will miss you dearly
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#48
04-18-2004, 03:58 PM
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Women can't drive for shit.
I drive better when I'm drunk. Bud Light is the world's greatest beer. Quote:
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#49
04-18-2004, 04:58 PM
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Quote:
Damn Straight! And Benny Hill could produce more genuine hilarity with one smirk than those five no-talents could in their entire careers. And The Simpsons? Feh! If I want to watch a flimsy, humorless Flintstones rip-off I'll draw it myself. And, try as I might, I can't recall a single line worth repeating from The Big Lebowski..... (And one more for the boxing fans...) Man, De LaHoya would have smacked Ray Robinson around like a red-headed stepchild.
__________________
"My thumbs have gone weird!" -Marwood
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