Okay. So one of my buddies is upset. He’s 22 and his gf is 18. Now I think it’s a major bummer when you’re 22 and have to freak out about petty shit like this. But he’s got a point. I mean I wouldn’t like to go out with someone who was either:
a) more than 2 years older than me
b) more than 2.2 years younger than me
But then maybe I’m just an anal asshole (get it? huh? huh?). I mean some people (the guy in questions parents, for one), have considerably larger age gaps between them. Like 10 years. Or 17. Or 37 (no, I’m serious).
I don’t know about you, but I’d hate to be 37 while my future SO is just sperm. But then that’s me.
What do you think? I mean what do you consider to be a “healthy” age gap? What do you think is the best age difference between partners (my theory is exactly nil - you have to be born within the same minute to qualify on Xavier’s “perfect age gap” list - so far there are no listees)?
How much older/younger are you than your partner/gf/SO/spouse?
I for example, am almost a year younger than my woman. I think that suits me just fine.
And are you happy with the age gap between you and your partner?
I’m 18 and my bf is 22. I really don’t think it’s ever caused major problems as we’re both relatively mature anyway.
13 years between my mum and dad and it didn’t do them any harm.
I don’t have an actual cut off point but I’d be kinda reluctant to go out with someone over 25. I find it pretty wrong when you see 20 year olds hanging around with 80 year olds though… you have to wonder what they’re really after…
Well, the older you get, the less it matters. I’m 19 years older than my wife, and we get along just great. Of course, had I known her when I was 35…that would be different, not to mention illegal!
I’ve often heard the guideline that the younger partner should not be any younger than half the age of the older partner, plus seven years. I have no idea where this came from originally, but as far as completly arbitrarya and meanlingless guidelines go, it’s not bad
Like Beltane, I’m also a proponent of the Dirty Old Man Quotient, half the older partner’s age, rounded down, plus seven. (it breaks if you go below 14, though.) So an 18-year-old can date someone 16 or older, a 22-year-old can date someone 18 or older, and a 70-year-old can date someone 42 or older without seeming like a dirty old person.
As for me, my partner’s a bit under a year and a half older than I am. It’s not something I particularly care about, though, as I don’t think it really matters that much. It’s probably best for partners to go through some life stages together and hit old age at around the same time, but once everybody’s at the age of consent, what difference is there, really, between four seconds and four years? Why do you feel it’s so important?
(My grandparents, by the way, were born one day apart. I think. Maybe two, but no more than that.)
I am ten years and one month older than my boyfriend/shackup honey/partner Miguel. He’s 24 and I’m 34.
We’ve had no problems, but I think it’s because he’s more mature than most men I know. And…I’m a bit silly myself.
And my GOD he’s hot. Not that has to do with anything, but after five months I’m still in shock.
Hm, I am married to someone 2 years younger than I am. At various times I have lived with a man 12 years older than I and much more recently dated someone 12 years younger than myself…and had no problems with either of them in or out of bed.
I would say that there is a problem IF you dont like the same types of music, and otehr forms of entertainment [movies, tv programs, sports - whatever you do out of bed] as there just isn’t enough to keep a good relationship going once the lust phase is finished.
I initially misread the thread title as “What do you think is an acceptable air gap between partners?” - I’ll just delete my elaborate reply to that question then…
My wife is 7 years older than me, it isn’t an issue (except for my kids, who took a long time to understand that older doesn’t necessarily mean taller).
My ex was (well, is, I suppose) sixteen years older than me. It wasn’t an issue, other things broke us up.
There’s a couple of dating prospects on the horizon for me – the oldest is ten years older than me (I’m 28). As far as I’m concerned that’s fine. The other is 32.
I wouldn’t want to date a guy who was more than a couple of years younger than me, unless he was unusually mature – not that I am, but there’s a world of difference between, say, 22 and 28.
My boyfriend is 3 years older then me, which doesn’t bother me at all. He is short for his age, so we are the same height, and we look the same age. Anyway, all the guys my age are total jackasses, so I like older guys, who have grown up a bit. It also helps that he is super hot . As someone stated before, it doesn’t matter but he is still really hot…
When I’m 50 I hope my girlfriend is somewhere between 18-25 years old.
BTW did anyone see that talk show where that 40 year old woman got married to a 14 year old and it was her sons best friend…hilarious.
My dad is about twelve years older than my mom, and has known her, literally, all her life. They’re the third (IIRC) couple to marry from their two respective families in as many generations. Technically, they’re cousins, but only through marriage: no actual inbreeding occured.
A couple years ago, a friend of mine attended a wedding with a similar age gap, and was majorly skeeved out by it. Great conversation:
Friend: He’s, like, ten years older than her!
Me: My dad is twelve years older than my mom.
Friend: Oh. <Blushes a little> But, he knew her when she was a little kid! That’s so wierd!
Me: My dad knew my mom when she was an infant.
Friend: Oh. <turning to Other Friend> Well, don’t you think this is wierd?
Other Friend: Nope. <points to me> My dad dated his mom before she married his dad. And he was even older.
Friend: Oh. <Blushes a lot>
Depends entirely on the individuals. The only hard and fast criteria I would establish is that both partners should be legal adults.
I have an aunt and uncle. Been married going on fifty years. She used to babysit him when they were kids; she’s seven years older than he is.
Supposedly, by the time he was old enough to date, it was a common conclusion among both families that they’d wind up together. They got married when he got back from his hitch in the Army.
