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  #1  
Old 04-23-2004, 08:27 AM
nakarama nakarama is offline
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Ideas for a date?

This might be absurd... I recently met a girl I only knew trough the net, I got to know her because we were on the same sitte, she came in my msn list and the last couple of months we have been chatting quite a bit. But a couple of weeks ago we met in real life, not very long... and recently she asked me if we could meet again. She said I had to decide where...

So do I go to see a movie with her? Or just invite her over? Any other suggestions?

I'd especially like to hear from the female members where they would like a guy to take them on a first date (if you can call it that).

Thanks
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  #2  
Old 04-23-2004, 09:58 AM
twickster twickster is offline
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I'll give you the same answer I always post on "what should we do on a first date" threads:

Do some activity where you're out and about and doing something other than staring at each other, so there's something obvious to talk about if you both get overwhelmed by shyness at the same time: the zoo, a flea market, miniature golf, a street fair, a museum, etc.
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Old 04-23-2004, 10:06 AM
nakarama nakarama is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twickster
I'll give you the same answer I always post on "what should we do on a first date" threads:

Do some activity where you're out and about and doing something other than staring at each other, so there's something obvious to talk about if you both get overwhelmed by shyness at the same time: the zoo, a flea market, miniature golf, a street fair, a museum, etc.
thanks... but I'm 24, she's 20, and, well, I don't think she'll be interested in any of these things
but you're right about the general idea...

oh yeah we're both into music (both listening to and making music). but there's no interesting gigs or something that weekend.
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Old 04-23-2004, 11:37 AM
twickster twickster is offline
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There's no fun activity in a public venue that she'd be interested in? Why the hell do you want to go out with someone like that?
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Old 04-23-2004, 02:07 PM
OhFace OhFace is offline
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I'm confused, is 20-24 too young or too old to go to the zoo, miniature golf, or a museum? I think those are all good options. If you go to a movie you will just sit there and watch the movie, not get to know eachother. Dinner can sometimes be awkward because you have to always keep the conversation flowing or there will be those awkward silences. You're never too young or old for the zoo and miniature golf can be fun at any age. You should broaden your options a little.
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Old 04-23-2004, 04:06 PM
Kalhoun Kalhoun is offline
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I'm for dinner on early dates. You want to make eye contact and talk and get to know each other. If you've already met once, and she's obviously interested, the second meeting shouldn't be too awkward. Take her out to eat.
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Old 04-23-2004, 04:29 PM
Giraffe Giraffe is offline
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Take her out to dinner, and then go back to your apartment to "listen to music". Depending on the vibe, you can either actually listen to music and talk, or put on music to cover the sound of your making out.
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Old 04-23-2004, 04:44 PM
Mr. Blue Sky Mr. Blue Sky is offline
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How to do it, old school
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  #9  
Old 04-23-2004, 06:17 PM
Bear_Nenno Bear_Nenno is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nakarama
thanks... but I'm 24, she's 20, and, well, I don't think she'll be interested in any of these things
but you're right about the general idea...

oh yeah we're both into music (both listening to and making music). but there's no interesting gigs or something that weekend.
Why wouldn't she be interested in a zoo or fair??? I can understand mini golf, though. Like bowling, I just can't get into it.

Movies do not make good first dates unless you don't care to hear her talk or learn anything about her...

I like the "go to dinner and then back to your place to 'listen to music' idea".
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  #10  
Old 04-23-2004, 07:25 PM
drachillix drachillix is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kalhoun
If you've already met once, and she's obviously interested, the second meeting shouldn't be too awkward. Take her out to eat.
Allow me to second this. In my experience, which is extensive in the world of internet dating, keep it public at first.

You want to pick places that are relatively quiet, places where you can talk, and places with alot of stimulus, audio, visual, etc. Sidewalk cafe type places are great for this. You want to have lots of conversation triggers, look at that neat car, why does that guy have blue/green striped hair, etc.

If she is requesting the second get together, good sign. Second and third dates are where things get emotionally messy. Unfortunately you are on your own for interpretation of posture, body language, etc. In general since you have a second date, and you want there to be a third, you have to pay attention.

One of the things I always used as kinda a litmus test was superficial physical affection. I went to great lengths to respect personal space on first meets except for hug/kiss on cheek at parting. First meets off the net are for chemistry checks, I never really considered them "dates". IF she seem receptive to a hug, maybe even snuggles in a bit, great, she at least sees you as safe if not attractive in some way. Look for any opportunity to touch her, breifly and in an appropriate fashion, offer your hand to help her out of the car or a seat at a restaraunt, help her with her coat, etc. I would often encounter 10-15 such opportunities in a typical dinner and a movie type situation. You want her to become accustomed to the fact that you can touch her without it being a sex act and that maybe you actually care about something beyond dipping your wick.

In general you will probably need to tell us a bit more about this girl. What DOES she like to do, where has she been, what do you know about her life. Everyone is different but there are almost always some basic psych and family dynamic issues that can be helpful in determining how to help you score points or mines to avoid.

Rule#1 is always be yourself, and be on your best behavior. She is probably assuming you are and if you are an obnoxious slob now whats it going to be like 10 years and 3 kids later.
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