How many dobermans does it take to change a light bulb?
Four.
How many University Of Florida students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five. One to hold the bulb and four to stand in each corner and drink until the room spins.
How many USC Berkeley students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to change the bulb, three to break the story about the bulb being changed, five to investigate a government cover up of the changing of the bulb, seventy five to organize a group to investigate the impact that bulb changing has on the light bulb condition, three hundred to organize a protest of unfair and violent light bulb changing policies domestically and abroad, three hundred to organize a counterprotest for the bulb’s right to choose and five hundred to hold a symposium on community views on the current light bulb changing situation.
How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, the women do it.
How many surrealist painters does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to hold the giraffe and three to fill the bathtub with brightly colored power tools.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Such number as may be deemed to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the follow- ing agreement:
Whereas the party of the first part, also known as “The Lawyer”, and the party of the second part, also known as “The Light Bulb”, do hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumina- tion of the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entry way, terminating at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement be- tween the parties.
The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:
1.) The party of the first part (Lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (Light Bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a counter-clockwise direction, said direction being non- negotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of the first part (Lawyer) with every possible caution by the party of the first part (Lawyer) to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second part (Light Bulb), notwithstanding the afore- mentioned failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) to perform the aforementioned customary and agreed upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate that structural failure of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) may be incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform and in such case the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall be held blameless for such structural failure insofar as this agreement is concerned so long as the non-negotiable directional codicil (counter-clockwise) is observed by the party of the first part (Lawyer) throughout.
2.) Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (Light Bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part (“Receptacle”), the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (Light Bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local and federal statutes.
3.) Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (Lawyer) shall have the option of beginning installation of the party of the fourth part(“New Light Bulb”). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in step one of this self- same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, said direction also being non- negotiable.
NOTE: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (Lawyer), by said party of the first part (Lawyer), by his heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him to do so, the objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity of the aforementioned front (north) door consistent with maximization of ingress and revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as “The Firm”.
Women with PMS?
ME!!! &(#!!! IT’S ALWAYS ME, &(#@^%!!! YOU &(#@s NEVER DO ANYTHING AROUND HERE!!! I &(#%^ DO EVERYTHING AND YOU DON’T EVEN APPRECIATE IT!!! NOOOOOO… YOU PEOPLE ONLY THINK OF YOURSELVES!!!
BUT IT’S GONNA CHANGE… OH YEAH, &*^%$@, IT WILL CHANGE. OR I AM OUTTA HERE !!!
How many radical feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
15: One to actually change the lightbulb, three to write the manifesto, five to hold a consciousness-raising session, and four to denounce the old bulb as a tool of the patriarchy.
