Because salad won’t f*cking stay on the bloody fork!
You should try eating the salad with chopsticks. It works a lot better.
Sure, chopsticks. I can use chopsticks.
NOT
(but I understand why they would make eating salad easier, thanks for the suggestion 
)
Actually eating with my fingers would make it a heck of a lot easier. Why do we use implements for eating anyway??
Madonna eats salad with her fingers. She told People magazine that she uses the lettuce leaves “to scoop up the orange slices and crunchy bits”.
When she was still dating her (now) husband, he looked at her funny when she started doing it in a restaurant. She just said; “This is how I eat salad. Deal with it.”
Maybe you should try that.
You’re fat? I always pictured you as the lean and hungry type.
If you eat with your fingers, the keyboargetsicky
I was a skinny kid, and a skinny teenager until a couple of years ago when me and a friend started a ritual of eating [too much] take-away food and watching a video every saturday night. After a while it spread to sunday and friday.
And if you eat your fingers, the keyboard gets dusty.
You’re fat because, as my old Southern grandpa used to say, “every time you bend your elbow your mouth flies open”.
Damn, I just contradicted the OP :smack: (explained the real reason why I’m fat. Oh well, the salad excuse was good while it lasted)
That would imply he thinks too much and after reading the OP to this thread, I doubt that’s the case here.
No! No! Don’t come near me with those teeth, I am a surgeon for God’s sake!
He could still be dangerous, though.
You could eat your salad with honey
I’ve done it all my life
It makes the salad taste funny
But it keeps it on the knife.
(Disclaimer: Your weight loss results on an lettuce and honey diet may vary.)
ROFL, I always heard this one with peas =)
No, no, that’s Brutus…
Beware of yon Cassius, he has a lean and hungry look!
But that fat guy standing next to him, Lobsang! He’s the one who can’t eat a salad with a fork and he pigs out every weekend on fast food!
(apologies to the Bard)
But it’s the picnic season and finger foods are expected. At least that’s the rule of thumb in the South.
Lopsang, if you don’t want to eat salad with your fingers or with chopsticks, I have always had success with wire-pliers.
To me, the secret to eating salad has always been to get it from a restauurant. I can’t eat the durn things at home no matter how hard I try, and don’t even tend to keep salad greens around most of the time. But at a restaurant? Watch out, I’m like the Original Salad Hoover. Maybe instead of standard takeaway, you could try a takeaway salad. (Do they have takeaway salads over there?)