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  #1  
Old 06-04-2004, 08:19 AM
astro astro is offline
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What's the meaning of it all? Who cares! IT'S A BED OF HAM!

The Bed of Ham

What's the meaning of it all? Who cares! IT'S A BED OF HAM!
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  #2  
Old 06-04-2004, 08:32 AM
twickster twickster is offline
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Quote:
Cavallaro says his cheese period ended two years ago, after he had sprayed five tons of pepper jack over a vacant house in Powell, Wyo.
'nuff said.
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  #3  
Old 06-04-2004, 08:53 AM
Eve Eve is offline
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What good is sitting alone in your room?
Sitting on a roast lamb?
Life is a bed of ham, old chum,
Lay on a bed of ham!

Put down the crackers, the cake and dessert—
Forget that old stuffed clam.
Life is a bed of ham, old chum,
Lay on a bed of ham!

Your pillow's meat, it can't be beat!
Come taste your blanket, it is basting—
Right this way, for time is wasting.

Everyone's hopping on this brand new fad—
Even Jean-Claude Van Damme!
Life is a bed of ham, old chum,
Lay on a bed of ham!
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  #4  
Old 06-04-2004, 09:07 AM
Mehitabel Mehitabel is offline
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Eve, even our ;j posters love that song! Brava!
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  #5  
Old 06-04-2004, 09:11 AM
Ethilrist Ethilrist is offline
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From site linked in the OP: "Sliced ham, Cavallaro said, is "a pure form of America: all kinds of parts, boiled and pressed together."

Whoops. He was supposed to use sausage...
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  #6  
Old 06-04-2004, 10:33 AM
Binarydrone Binarydrone is offline
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I can only prey to all that is holy that he is getting NEA grants for this so that I, in some small way, am helping to subsidize this genius.

Also, can I just say "yuck" about this?:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Loony "artist"
According to the artist, no concern about cockroaches has been raised. "They are welcome," he said. "Imagine what this looks like from the point of view of an insect."
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  #7  
Old 06-04-2004, 10:40 AM
Tupug Anachi Tupug Anachi is offline
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"Cavallaro, a burly man with long unkempt hair and a beard"

Oh, Swaaammmpppyyy!
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  #8  
Old 06-04-2004, 10:41 AM
CandidGamera CandidGamera is offline
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"I've heard of having good taste in interior decorations, but this is ridiculous!"

Or, if you didn't like that pun..

"Did you hear the one about the artist whose girlfriend asked him to pork her?"

No, no.. I can do better.. hang on.

"John.. you insulted my mother.. you punched my father.. but sprinkling my bed with ham? That's the coldest cut of all."

There ya go.
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  #9  
Old 06-04-2004, 12:11 PM
Casey1505 Casey1505 is offline
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His wife says he hogs the sheets. (what a ham-handed attempt at a joke)

No hair net or plastic glove?

312 lbs of sliced ham on a bed is art, but using Prosciutto "would have been pompous"?!?
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  #10  
Old 06-04-2004, 12:22 PM
Craneop2 Craneop2 is offline
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But Cavallaro! They ordered roast beef on rye with a bed of Lettuce on the side!!
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  #11  
Old 06-04-2004, 12:32 PM
Helena Helena is offline
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Quote:
Cavallaro said he had rejected Prosciutto because "It would have been pompous."
Absolutely. We must take these things into consideration.
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  #12  
Old 06-04-2004, 02:01 PM
Zebra Zebra is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ethilrist
From site linked in the OP: "Sliced ham, Cavallaro said, is "a pure form of America: all kinds of parts, boiled and pressed together."

Whoops. He was supposed to use sausage...

No, he is using processed ham, which is 'parts' boiled and pressed together.

Now it all makes sense.
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  #13  
Old 06-04-2004, 02:36 PM
harmless harmless is offline
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Boy, is his mommy going to be maaaaaaad!
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Well....mostly harmless
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  #14  
Old 06-04-2004, 02:43 PM
swampbear swampbear is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tupug Anachi
"Cavallaro, a burly man with long unkempt hair and a beard"

Oh, Swaaammmpppyyy!

I like my burly men with kempt hair. He is kinda cute though. Hmm... maybe if I showed up with a bottle of merlot, some mustard and rye bread...
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  #15  
Old 06-04-2004, 03:29 PM
harmless harmless is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by swampbear
I like my burly men with kempt hair. He is kinda cute though. Hmm... maybe if I showed up with a bottle of merlot, some mustard and rye bread...
And shampoo and a comb and some clippers?
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  #16  
Old 06-04-2004, 03:49 PM
matt_mcl matt_mcl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The article
Cavallaro, 41, the son of immigrants from southern Italy, grew up in Montreal ....
Well, that explains that.
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  #17  
Old 06-04-2004, 03:55 PM
The Great Sun Jester The Great Sun Jester is offline
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For the love of God, what's next?


Plate of shrimp?
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  #18  
Old 06-04-2004, 04:13 PM
Colibri Colibri is offline
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[Homer]Mmmmm . . . bed of ham . . .[/Homer]
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  #19  
Old 06-04-2004, 05:56 PM
DocCathode DocCathode is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eve
Your pillow's meat, it can't be beat!
I disagree. That bed would seem to be the perfect place to beat ones meat.
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  #20  
Old 06-04-2004, 06:01 PM
Snooooopy Snooooopy is offline
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Cavallaro: As idiotic as Christo, but on a budget.
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