Vote Here For The Supreme High Temptress of IMHO

[Shayna]

I would hereby like to nominate, and vote for, Diane as The Supreme High Temptress of IMHO.

She meets all the qualifications and then some! IMHO, the woman totally rules in this catagory. I mean, how many others here would offer blowjobs for a mere vote so that they might wear a cyber crown upon their gorgeous blonde locks?!

Let's see how far she's really willing to go, shall we? Or if anyone out there is willing to top her offer. I do believe Sassy said she could give Diane a run for her money.

All nominations are welcome.*

Let the tempting begin!





*Except me. As the one starting this contest, I am not eligible to participate.

[Water Boy]

Shayna gets a vote.
Looks like we need a tiebreaker.

[Joe_Cool]

...I mean, how many others here would offer blowjobs for a mere vote...

Hmmm....can I vote twice?

[Jeannie]

Well, I was going to vote for Shayna, but seeing that she isn't even voting for herself....

Plus, <b>Diane</b> will certainly do the job nicely. So, I vote for Diane. You go, girlfriend!

[Scotticher]

I mean, how many others here would offer blowjobs for a mere vote so that they might wear a cyber crown upon their gorgeous blonde locks?!

I think Shayna has an irrefutable point here.

Therefore, I cast my vote for Diane, and BTW, I checked out her homepage, and she is gorgeous!

Scotti

[Arnold Winkelried]

You are all fools! Don't give away your vote, sell it!

Waiting for highest bidder...

[Water Boy]

Shayna gets a second vote.

[Shayna]

Water Boy, I'm flattered, but I'm still not eligible. Any votes for me won't count, so they're just being wasted.

I will gladly accept your vote for Prom Queen, though!

[WallyM7]

Well, I think everyone knows that I'm madly, hopelessly, irrevocably head over heels in love with Shayna, so my vote goes to Democritus.

He's uglier than a hatful of assholes, but he's not much to look at either.

[GraceTX]

Shayna's nice and all but temptress? Nahhhhhh!!! I've seen Diane and she's got my vote.

[Monster104]

Diane DID offer blowjobs for votes...however, that was in the IMHO prom queen thread, not temptress thread. If the same conditions go for this thread, my vote's for Diane.

If not, well, temptresses are supposed to be convincing...

[Devil In Disguise]

What qualifies or disqualifies someone? Is a temptress different than a flirter? Shayna seems to be quite a flirter but everyone seems to be saying she doesn't qualify as a temptress. And isn't Diane older? She seems to brag about being the "sexist old hag of the SDMB" to use her words. But I think most temptresses are on the young, nubile side.

I will give my vote to the female poster with the best nude photos, though I can be bought with sex.

[soulsling]

sheesh! gone for a few hours of rock climbing and another vote is in effect. i'm voting for...
oh yeah, right Arnold,
my vote aint free, but it's cheap, who wants it?

[tracer]

Can I be a temptress? Or would I have to change my sex first?

[Argeable]

I suppose, then, that Diane's got my vote to. I don't know who she is, or what she looks like, but if half of what they say about her is true, she must be some temptress (or I must be pretty naive.)
That's 6 for you, I think.

[Danielinthewolvesden]

Based on her picture, her shameless flirting with me, and the offer of a blow job*, it can only be DIANE!



*but I voted for you, Diane-my-lovely, pre-offer, so my interest is not (entirely) prurient.

[Diane]

Jeesh Soulsling, you were rock climbing and I was hiking a lovely trail near Causey Dam. Think there is a connection here? I even have a sunburned nose and scratched legs to show for my effort.

BTW - My annual grab a friend and hit the trails summer weekends just kicked off today if anyone wants to join.

Uhhhh. . . .

Anyway, back to business. . . .

My new rules for this contest.

(1) "Kisses" only offered if I begin to lose ground in the voting process. Yes, I cheat and don't play fair when it comes to playing with testosterone.

(2) "Kisses" only offered to those who initially vote for me. No voting for someone else then running your scrawny little white asses back to me when you get horny. Nope. You snooze, you lose.

(3) Persuade your sock puppets to vote for me and I will include my special prostrate tickle technique. Nuff said. It's a show, not tell thing.

(4) In the case of a tie, the winning vote will receive a special email describing what I can do with these:

http://hometown.aol.com/kitten8808/sites.html

And probably the most important of all. . .

(5) If I lose, I will post a picture of me the first thing in the morning. You won't want to be eating lunch when you open it. It ain't pretty.

Oh, and about the old thing. I am 38. Trust me on this one - 38 years of experience, aerobic class induced endurance, vivid and unbridled imagination, and the fact that I am can put both feet behind my head (and yours too) while singing the National Anthem, will have you youngsters gasping for breath and screaming for mama.

Bring it on!

[Diane]

Oh, and Prom Queen Shayna? I like your mama now.

[Danielinthewolvesden]

38 years or 38 bust? Seriously, to those of us who recently hit 45, you are a young babe. Those kids don't know the tricks, anyhow. "It's not the years, it's the miles", or to put it in Gaming terms ( I made this up) "It's not the Stats, it's the EP's". and boy do I got the miles & EP's!

and Ageable: hit the site, look at the Babe!

[xenophon41]

OK, that tears it; my vote's for Diane (sorry Shayna; still marry me? I promise you'll never have to know about this thing with Diane... honest!)

And I didn't even sell my vote! Damn...



(BTW, Diane, maybe a 41 yr old can broaden that base of experience a bit...)

[Zyada]

Sheesh - don't post for a week and they forget all about you!

Vote for me and I'll dance for you (hell, ask me and I'll dance for you... give me advance warning & I'll dance in costume)
__________________
I do not merely dance. I bewitch. I seduce. I enchant and I bewilder. Vote for me!.
(Gee, Wally must have seen me dance!)

Zyada - Certified Sexy Hag

[soulsling]

Diane, you got my vote. heck, like i would've voted for anyone else...
where are you hiking? as in what state???

[Sassy]

Nice photos, Diane. I myself have never needed to advertise.

I will offer a personally created private email to anyone who chooses me... something you can keep and "use" when you think about me

Stats? For those who don't know me: redhead, green eyes, Irish extraction, Scorpio, native of San Francisco.

In closing, I have just one thought...

nipple jewelry?

[DRY]

You are all fools! Don't give away your vote, sell it!

Waiting for highest bidder...

Arnold..I hope to meet you at an LA dopers get together (if I'm invited after you guys all know what I'm like now)
because I like the way you think. You're probably the person I'd like second most to meet...

I'll have what Arnold's having.

What qualifies or disqualifies someone? Is a temptress different than a flirter? Shayna seems to be quite a flirter but everyone seems to be saying she doesn't qualify as a temptress. And isn't Diane older? She seems to brag about being the "sexist old hag of the SDMB" to use her words.

In your third sentence above, delete "flirter", insert "nympho" (Shayna, I'm a jealous husband. Got to make these guys think you're an oversexed perv. Sorry, honey.)

Yeah...like that'll drive 'em *away*

As for the age thing, I notice neither Shayna nor Diane have said who's older. *I* know.

(1) "Kisses" only offered if I begin to lose ground in the voting process. Yes, I cheat and don't play fair when it comes to playing with testosterone.

Not your best move, Diane!
At this point, I'd like to promote Opal or Zyada or Sassy or Scotti or GRACE to campaign against Diane. Come on, you can take her down!
(This doesn't mean that I'm voting against Diane--I just want to see her have to up the ante! WHO'S WITH ME??)

(3) Persuade your sock puppets to vote for me and I will include my special prostrate tickle technique. Nuff said. It's a show, not tell thing.

::wipes away drool::

the fact that I am can put both feet behind my head (and yours too) while singing the National Anthem

The first part is important, the second isn't. And, I..uhh...don't expect you to be singing ANYTHING while you're "fulfilling the terms of my vote"

Sheesh - don't post for a week and they forget all about you!

Not true, Zyada...I flirted with you in Shayna's birthday thread AND YOU BLEW ME OFF!

Now I quote Shakespeare and hang with Shayna and Grace.

[Scotticher]

[quote][b] [quote][b]
At this point, I'd like to promote Opal or Zyada or Sassy or Scotti or GRACE to campaign against Diane. Come on, you can take her down!
(This doesn't mean that I'm voting against Diane--I just want to see her have to up the ante! WHO'S WITH ME??)

[quote][b]

Certainly not me, DRY-I wouldn't dream of challenging Diane on this one, and I wouldn't get far if I did.

Thanks for the thought, though-you are a sweet man!

Scotti

[Zyada]

I'm sorry, Shayna asked me not to flirt in her birthday thread, and since she's so cool, I wanted to do what she said! Besides, recent events have made it harder than normal for me to keep up with the board, so I've had to let some things slide. Believe me, I loved everything you wrote. ::melt::

__________________
I do not merely dance. I bewitch. I seduce. I enchant and I bewilder. Vote for me!.
(Gee, Wally must have seen me dance!)

Zyada - Certified Sexy Hag

[Diane]

I myself have never needed to advertise.

I don't consider it advertising, it's campaigning.

And, I..uhh...don't expect you to be singing ANYTHING while you're "fulfilling the terms of my vote

I should have made those lines easier to read between. Insert the words "Growling sweet nasties into your ear" in place of "singing the National Anthem."

The voice is one of the most erotic tools you can use.

(I'll save the phone sex offers for later.)

[DRY]

[quote][b]


I'm sorry, Shayna asked me not to flirt in her birthday thread, and since she's so cool, I wanted to do what she said! Besides, recent events have made it harder than normal for me to keep up with the board, so I've had to let some things slide. Believe me, I loved everything you wrote. ::melt::



Shayna (of all people) asked you not to (of all things) flirt, and you LISTENED??

Shayna asking someone not to flirt is kind of like me asking someone not to quote Shakespeare, or Aha asking someone not to suck up!

I know about the house thing, but this is love (or at least flirting), dammit!

I mean, I still love Grace and Shayna, and I find Diane to be someone I really want to get better acquainted with, too.
But I also wanted to sing your praises:

"When you do dance, I wish you, a wave o' the sea, that you might ever do nothing but that"
--The Winter's Tale, Act 2, scene iv

[DRY]

I screwed up the coding, obviously..

I don't consider it advertising, it's campaigning.

I should have made those lines easier to read between. Insert the words "Growling sweet nasties into your ear" in place of "singing the National Anthem."

The voice is one of the most erotic tools you can use.

(I'll save the phone sex offers for later.)

I love your attitude about campaigning, frankly.

Phone sex?? Not to look a gift horse in the..ahem..mouth, but this is a big step down from the blowjob you'd previously promised...

"mistress, know yourself: down on your knees,
And thank heaven, fasting, for a good man's love"
--As You Like It, Act 3, scene v

::"then up he rose, and donn'd his clothes"::
--Hamlet(!), Act 4, scene v

[Diane]

Phone sex?? Not to look a gift horse in the..ahem..mouth, but this is a big step down from the blowjob you'd previously promised...

Phone sex is the foreplay of blowjobs.

Or something like that.

[GraceTX]

At this point, I'd like to promote Opal or Zyada or Sassy or Scotti or GRACE to campaign against Diane. Come on, you can take her down!

I can't campaign for temptress. I mean, have you taken a look at Diane? The woman has it going on!

Now if you're looking for someone who'll go to a sports event and scream like a lunatic, then I'm your gal. I'll take chicken noodle soup to a sick friend. I'll cry with you when you're sad and laugh when you're happy. But be a temptress? You may as well ask me to sprout wings and fly.

[Diane]

Thanks for the compliment, but come on ladies. I have noticed a lot of sexy women on this board!!!

There is room for more than one temptress.

In fact, I motion that we change things a little bit. Instead of a contest, why don't we form a club and take pledges?

Strut your stuff like a true temptress and you're in.

[DRY]

I can't campaign for temptress. I mean, have you taken a look at Diane? The woman has it going on!

Now if you're looking for someone who'll go to a sports event and scream like a lunatic, then I'm your gal. I'll take chicken noodle soup to a sick friend. I'll cry with you when you're sad and laugh when you're happy. But be a temptress? You may as well ask me to sprout wings and fly.

You're a sports fan? You're just jerking my chain, right?

And here I thought that our attraction was only physical.

"O, wonderful, wonderful, and most wonderful wonderful! and yet again wonderful"

--As You Like It, Act 3, scene ii

[Mr. Cynical]

::unfolding lawn chair::

Now this is more like it.

::cracking a beer::

My vote goes to whomever wants it. I'll just be having a brew.