Vote Here For SDMB Male Slut

[Diane]

Hey, Shayna gets a Prom King.

I think whomever wins the Temptress title should have a date to get jiggy with, eh?

[Eutychus]

Hey, just ask Tubadiva. I am the "Official Male Slut of the 2000 Olympic Games."

[BANNED]

I'd vote for Satan. Don't know much about him, but I've seen the recent pictures. Looks morally bankrupt (hence the name?)

[Danielinthewolvesden]

Look, I got a 29 in the teeming millions purity test. I beleive that qualifies me.

[DRY]

I don't know about the title "Male Slut", as I really shudder to think what my dear mother would say..

Besides, I could give a rat's ass about the title (either, this one or prom king)--I just want the..uh..physical companionship

You'd offered blow jobs in a previous thread for votes. Well, for the right lady, I suppose I'd reciprocate, because:

"That man that hath a tongue, I say, is no man,
If with his tongue he cannot win a woman."
--The Two Gentleman of Verona, Act 3, Scene i

[Czarcasm]

19 on the Teeming Millions Purity Test(would have scored lower but the dead platypus was underage, and I do have my limits, y'know!)

[soulsling]

Slythe and dan you bastards. i got a 44. but i am a slut. i'm just really that easy, especially now that i'm extremely single and unattached to any woman in any way. i don't give no for an answer

[Stink Fish Pot]

I suspect that if we opened the voting up only to the male population on this board, it would be a tie with everyone receiving 1 vote (their own).

I'd vote for myself because I have a slutty Porn Star name... but, since it's a woman's name (Tara Chalmers) I'll have to disqualify myself.

Dammit! Tara Chalmers... you know she'd be the high school cheerleader doing the entire football team...

(Why couldn't my Porn Star name be "Buck Naked", or "Rock Hard"?)

[TwistofFate]

Ladies, I can do better than the rest,

A full evening of entertainment guarenteed.......

[soulsling]

hey! my tounge does tricks 'nuff said.

[Danielinthewolvesden]

Slythe: 19!!! Either you're the biggest liar or the biggest pervert here---in either case...damn glad to know ya!

But you're the Moderator, and thus must declare yourself ineligable. HA!

John: about that "full evening" - I don't think the Ladies want to see your 8 hr shadowpuppet show.

[Diane]

You guys are crazy if you think I am going to go just on your words alone. I want PROOF! After all, this is the SDMB.

Line forms to the left.

[soulsling]

you want proof??
no problem. step right up, open those purty lips of yours, you'll not regret a thing. and then maybe we can explore some of my other talents hmmmm?

[Silo]

Fine! i'll be the male slut here, proof is NOT necessary (for me hahahahahahaha).

[Danielinthewolvesden]

PROOF!?! you want proof? Ok, Hmm (licks eyebrowns in thought) Let's see what's in Dr. Dans little black bag: Hmmm (adjusts special order size XXXXL leather jockstrap), Silk ties- check, rubber sheets- check, leather items-check, extra batteries-check, various lotions & lubricants-check, clips-check, fantasy costume items-check, candles(real beeswax ONLY)-check, ice-check, chocolate syrup-check, Barry White CD-check .....hmmm, nope, it's not all here, I'll have to get back to you.

[purrplebear]

Oh, my!! You guys are so mean! Here I sit, with hubby halfway around the world, and he will be gone for at least another 7months, and what do I read here?!?!?!

So, I'll just sit over here quietly and drool to myself, and think about my honey...........sigh.......all alone....

Too bad I can't ask you to share, Diane!
<hoping that hubby doesn't read this thread!>

[Mr. Cynical]

I thought I was pretty freaking awful, but I could only manage to get down to 34% on the Olde Purity Test. Must be my decided hererosxuality getting in the way.

I vote for DanielInTheWolvesDen, since 1. He scored lower than I did and 2. Slythe is ineligible.

Have a nice day.

[Nen]

I would prefer the title Temptor, Seductor or just All-Around-Sex-God to Male Slut, but I'll join in the ranks at 28%.

[Iguana Boy]

Hey, if we're talkin' tongues, then I gotta win that one!

[mega the roo]

Heh. I love how all the guys are nominated themselves, like they've got something to prove.

[Omniscient]

ahem......

[soulsling]

er... um...
never mind :blushing:
i really don't want to play this game anymore...

oh... look at the time.
got work to do.
later Men!

[Falcon]

I'm voting for Omni. Anyone who has made the comment "Omni plays with bobbies likie a kitten plays with a ball of yarn" in chat wins for me.

[GraceTX]

PROOF!?! you want proof? Ok, Hmm (licks eyebrowns in thought) Let's see what's in Dr. Dans little black bag: Hmmm (adjusts special order size XXXXL leather jockstrap), Silk ties- check, rubber sheets- check, leather items-check, extra batteries-check, various lotions & lubricants-check, clips-check, fantasy costume items-check, candles(real beeswax ONLY)-check, ice-check, chocolate syrup-check, Barry White CD-check .....hmmm, nope, it's not all here, I'll have to get back to you.

DRY, you know I love ya hon but...

with Daniels qualifications here, I gotta vote for him. You can lick your eyebrows eh? What else can you do with that tongue? Oooooo baby!

[Czarcasm]

slythe is ineligible? why??

Oh yeah-this is an amateur competition, and I went Pro years ago.

[Little Nemo]

So it's checking out the qualifications you want?

Ladies, stand back while I bring out Big Nemo.

[Shayna]

You know I love each and every one of you gentlemen, but as far as Ho's go here at SD, hands down, no one beats Democritus. Sorry boys. The day y'all can, and do, openly flirt outrageously with both the women and the men on the boards, then you might be able to shine Demos shoes in the slut department.

[Danielinthewolvesden]

I will admit that Demo can have my share of the men, he's got me beat there. And, grace, you know that old line about kissing your navel...from the INSIDE?


(If you tied me down & tickled me <hmmmm.. > I would admit I don't ACTually quite qualify for Porn or Rock star "equiptment", but I DO have that "little black bag".) (AND I know how to use the contents...)

[DRY]

Ladies, I can do better than the rest,
A full evening of entertainment guarenteed.......

hey! my tounge does tricks 'nuff said.

you want proof??
no problem. step right up, open those purty lips of yours, you'll not regret a thing. and then maybe we can explore some of my other talents hmmmm?

PROOF!?! you want proof? Ok, Hmm (licks eyebrowns in thought) Let's see what's in Dr. Dans little black bag: Hmmm (adjusts special order size XXXXL leather jockstrap), Silk ties- check, rubber sheets- check, leather items-check, extra batteries-check, various lotions & lubricants-check, clips-check, fantasy costume items-check, candles(real beeswax ONLY)-check, ice-check, chocolate syrup-check, Barry White CD-check .....hmmm, nope, it's not all here, I'll have to get back to you.

Hey, if we're talkin' tongues, then I gotta win that one!

I will admit that Demo can have my share of the men, he's got me beat there. And, grace, you know that old line about kissing your navel...from the INSIDE?

(If you tied me down & tickled me <hmmmm.. > I would admit I don't ACTually quite qualify for Porn or Rock star "equiptment", but I DO have that "little black bag".) (AND I know how to use the contents...)

An open letter to Mega the Roo and all these guys who think their "all that". What the hell, an open letter to everyone:

Please note that I never said I was "all that" (just that I'd do the deed). Because, unlike these OTHER jokers, I know that:

"All lovers swear more performance than they
are able and yet reserve an ability that they never
perform, vowing more than the perfection of ten and
discharging less than the tenth part of one. They
that have the voice of lions and the act of hares,
are they not monsters?"
--Troilus and Cressida, Act 3, scene ii

Ladies, some of these men are married or have girlfriends (I don't, BTW). I fear you'll come to grief:

"Sigh no more, ladies, sigh no more,
Men were deceivers ever,
One foot in sea and one on shore,
To one thing constant never"
--Much Ado About Nothing, Act 2, scene iii

Please, please be careful, Ladies..and choose wisely. Don't listen to these guys boast about how good they are, or else you'll end up saying:

"Take, O, take those lips away,
That so sweetly were forsworn"
--Measure for Measure, Act 4, scene i

[TwistofFate]

I never said I was "All That"
I offered a full evenings entertainment, and dropped home before midnight. surely you dont think I was suggesting any Impropriety???

and Mega, It would be an honour to be voted that Title.

[Talkinsquirrel]

Damn I got a 76 on that test. So I guess male slut is out the picture... maybe The Perfect Gentleman of IMHO or something I don't know. ::sigh:: nice guys finish last...

[dpr]

You guys ain't seen nothin' yet. I nominate pLt. Admittedly he's been a tad quiet on the SDMB so far (give him time) but he HAS to be the biggest online slut the world has ever seen.

He can't help himself. He even has a superhero persona: SlutBoy (you don't wanna know about the superpowers). And worst of all: he's proud of it.

If he took the test the server would crash in disbelief...

[DRY]

I never said I was "All That"
I offered a full evenings entertainment, and dropped home before midnight. surely you dont think I was suggesting any Impropriety???

"How absolute the knave is!
we must speak by the card,
or equivocation will undo us"
--Hamlet, Act 5, scene i

[tradesilicon]

slut [slut ] (plural sluts) noun

1. an offensive term for a woman thought by others to be sexually promiscuous (slang)

2. an offensive term for a woman who is regarded as not concerned about conventional standards of domestic cleanliness (dated)


I take it that ether definition applies? Male Slut, according to the definition (part 2) has to go to my former college roommate, who cared absolutely nothing for standards of domestic cleanliness, he was an f***ing slut!

As for me, definition number 1 applies, I am sexually promiscuous - I permit my wife to do what she wants, often. The marks are still fresh...

Sili

[tracer]

Heck, can a male even be a slut? At the very least, I'd think it'd be illegal in a few states.

[Czarcasm]

Tradesillicon lets his wife do what she wants?
I don't think "slut" is the word we're looking for here.
Any women in SDMB land want to comment?

[Chronos]

I'd say that the honor probably should go to ChiefScott, just judging by what I've seen of him in his posts... Whattaya know, a male not nominating himself! I just wish I were one!

And DRY, it takes more than just Shakespeare quotes to win women... Try throwing in some Cervantes, or Ovid, or Tolkien.

[DRY]

And DRY, it takes more than just Shakespeare quotes to win women... Try throwing in some Cervantes, or Ovid, or Tolkien.

WHO??

(Besides, I don't want to win women--I just want to sleep with them)
^
^
JOKE

Oh, all right:

"It hurts, my precious, it hurts."

--The Hobbit

That better?

[Scotticher]

And DRY, it takes more than just Shakespeare quotes to win women... Try throwing in some Cervantes, or Ovid, or Tolkien.

Hey, Chronos-

Shakespeare did pretty blinkin' fine with those words, and IMHO, DRY isn't doing too bad either.

Scotti




Admittedly biased, she turns up her nose at Chronons and bows to DRY (ya gotta admit, that is pretty hard to do at the same time)for being literate. Literate ROCKS! And he's sweet, which rocks too. (Except for the "all he wants is sex" thing. I choose to believe he is just blowing smoke there. I am probably wrong, but I am in denial. It is a comfortable place to be.)

So there.

[matt_mcl]

I am the Male Slut.

I lost my virginity in January 1998. Since then - a total of 30 months - I have slept with an estimated 50 separate men, at least. That is an average of a different man every 19 days. That's the number of men, not the number of individual sexual encounters. And this doesn't even reflect the four relationships I had during that time.

I am a slut. And a slut is nothing else than someone who is getting more sex than whoever's doing the classifying.

Translation for prudes: Nanny-nanny-nanny-nanny-nanny!!

And I am always safe.

[Danielinthewolvesden]

Damn, matt, and you still had time to post over 1000 times?
So THAT explains the poor typing in some of the posts.
But, in my glory days in Hollywood (pre aids), I slept with about 2 new women (models, actress wanna-bes, and just plain bimbos)per WEEK. (I ran a modeling studio, they thought I could get them a "start", and I did get a few of them their "ins")

However, it's not just the quantity, it's the skill & the aptitude; you show promise, true, but with only 2 years, not over 25, of experiance, you just don't got it. But, I will admit, you sure win the "best rookie" award.

[matt_mcl]

(blows pretend smoke off of extended index finger)

[Danielinthewolvesden]

matt, just wipe it off, for gawd's sake, don't blow on it!

[Chronos]

By the way, where can one find this Teeming Millions Purity Test?

Oh, and Schotticher, (um, let's see here... Digging through Shakepear memory banks... Prospero's farewell speech won't work... Antony's eulogy of Caesar? nope... the "to be or not to be" soliloquy's done to death... Hmm, maybe I can take something out of context from the witches chant in the Scottish play.)
Double, double, toil and-- Oh, shoot, it still doesn't sound romantic.
I guess I'll just have to think of my own ways to compliment a bonnie redheaded Scottish lass with a sexy accent on my own, without help from someone who'se been dead these past centuries.

[Scotticher]

I guess I'll just have to think of my own ways to compliment a bonnie redheaded Scottish lass with a sexy accent on my own, without help from someone who'se been dead these past centuries.

Oh, shoot, honey. Do I have to go over this accent thang again? I don't want to be dishonest. And I really DID try to reclaim my Gram's brougue. It didn't work last week, and I am sure it won't work now. But thanks for the thought, and you are on my short list for favorite men who try real hard and are awfully cute. You ARE awfully cute, aren't you? Heavens, I just realized we are all taking a whole lot of stuff on faith, here!

I look forward to your attempts to outshine the Bard, my friend. Tolkien ain't swiss cheese, either. But, isn't he dead too? Also Cervantes and Ovid?

Oh well, at least you dropped the attempt to quote the witches speech. I might have been tempted to come out of denial and take you for a walk in the pit.

And it is not pretty there. (She Shudders and needs a gorgeous man's arm to hang onto. Preferably with the man still attached)

Scotti

[DRY]

"We have heard the chimes at midnight"
--Henry IV, Part 2, Act 3, scene ii

Try throwing in some Cervantes

"A needy, hollow-eyed, sharp looking wretch,
A living-dead man."
--The Comedy of Errors, Act 5, scene i

or Ovid,

"That reverend vice, that gray iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years"
--Henry IV, Part 1, Act 2, scene iv

or Tolkien

"Another lean unwashed artificer"
--King John, Act 4, scene ii

Hey, Chronos-
Shakespeare did pretty blinkin' fine with those words, and IMHO, DRY isn't doing too bad either.
Scotti

"An Angel! or, if not,
An earthly paragon!"
--Cymbeline, Act 3, scene vi

And he's sweet, which rocks too. (Except for the "all he wants is sex" thing. I choose to believe he is just blowing smoke there.

"Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love."
--Hamlet, Act 2, scene ii

I guess I'll just have to think of my own ways to compliment a bonnie redheaded Scottish lass with a sexy accent on my own, without help from someone who'se been dead these past centuries.

"Here will be an old abusing of God's patience and the king's English"
--Merry Wives of Windsor, Act 1, scene iv

A pleasure chatting with you two--don't know what we're all doing up at this time.

(To both)
"I am Sir Oracle,
And when I ope my lips, let no dog bark!"
--Merchant of Venice
(To Chronos)
"I would the gods had made the poetical"
--As You Like It, Act 3, Scene iii
(To Scotticher)
"Good night, good night! parting is such sweet sorrow,
That I shall say good night till it be morrow."
--Romeo and Juliet, Act 2, Scene ii
(asides)
"to sleep: perchance to dream"
--Hamlet, Act 3, scene i
"I have not slept one wink"
--Cymbeline, Act 3, scene iv

[Sealemon88]

What's Chef Troy been up to?

[kaylasdad99]

The Two Towers, not The Hobbit.

The taming of Smeagol, when Frodo and Sam try to bind Gollum with the rope from Lothlorien.

The only distress Gollum experienced in The Hobbit had to do with his anguish at losing the ring.

[Chronos]

OK, DRY, I admit that I'm hopelessly outclassed in the literature department... How do you find all of those references to the Bard? But as the lady said herself, she thinks I'm probably cute-- Unfortunately, Villanova seems to have finally deactivated my web account, so I can't link to a pic... I'll let everyone here know when I have my new page up.

[DRY]

The Two Towers, not The Hobbit.

The taming of Smeagol, when Frodo and Sam try to bind Gollum with the rope from Lothlorien.

The only distress Gollum experienced in The Hobbit had to do with his anguish at losing the ring.

Really? I guess my question, then, is how closely, the TV movie of The Hobbit followed the book, because I haven't read either The Hobbit or The Two Towers, and I believe I got "It hurts, my precious" from the movie (From Gollum's anguish at losing the ring, like you said)

OK, DRY, I admit that I'm hopelessly outclassed in the literature department... How do you find all of those references to the Bard? But as the lady said herself, she thinks I'm probably cute-- Unfortunately, Villanova seems to have finally deactivated my web account, so I can't link to a pic... I'll let everyone here know when I have my new page up.

The next time you're in a bar, try telling her:

"Some are born great,
Some achieve greatness,
and some have greatness thrust upon 'em."
--Twelfth Night, Act 2, Scene V

(OK, so maybe that isn't such a brilliant idea--unless she's really drunk and then you don't need a line)

As to how I find all these references, it isn't easy: I've gone through Bartlett's quotations and used my own familiarity with the plays. Probably more trouble than it's worth, unless I can get someone to publish my "Shakespeare, hitting on women, and deviant sexual practices" (as referenced in the IMHO Prom Queen and Temptress threads)

Scotti's quite a catch, and I'm sure she's waiting for your pic. Then again, I'm waiting for HERS.