Say, for whatever reason, you have decided that it is time to die. What would be your ideal way to do it? Forget any crap about resources or money, you want to die and you wanna may it cool, interesting or memorable what would you do?
I was watching CNN the other day and they were talking about that company that will shoot your cremated remains into space for a few thousand dollars. That is how I would like to go, in a one way ticket to outer space. I imagine I would have to actually kill myself once up there, or maybe burn-up on reentry, or even by shooting out into the dead of space without a suit. That would be a very awesome way to check out, suicide by space.
I’d have to go with the old “Take Someone Famous With You” method. I’d actually name who I’d take with me, but then the Feds might come sniffing around, asking if I participate in unamerican activities, then I might end up in Gitmo or something…
You too! I always wanted to go out with a NY Post type of headline. I just haven’t figured out a way to do it that wouldn’t be painful. That and… I WANT TO LIVE, LIVE!LIVE!
I wonder how long it’ll take for someone to get that reference
I always thought that hijacking an oil truck, climing on top of it, making a big crazy speech, and then setting the whole thing on fire would be a great way to go. But then Bush stole my idea and invaded Iraq.
i’d like to die helping worthy people. Maybe dying running into a burning building or getting shot preventing a violent crime.
Failing that, i think i’d like to die in the forest. Deep in the forest, several miles in. Near a creek preferably. How i’d die, i don’t know. Maybe just a simple gun to the head type of death.
If the plan I’m putting together to die of extreme old age somehow falls through, I wouldn’t mind dying while saving someone’s life. If it was a child, all the better.
Some insane part of me would go for crucifixtion, but it would have to be done secretly, as I would hate anyone to think it were some sort of meisianic thing, just my wish to prove that a valueless human can go through the same suffering as ‘the Son of God’.
Either that or to die fighting an unbeatable foe, like an Evil Tyrant (Emperor Bush Jr. ?) .
What’s all this magnanimous stuff? I mean not that I don’t find saving kids admirable, especially if it’s mine, and I’ll really appreciate your sacrifice and all. But you’ll be a thirty-second sound byte. Wait I could see that working, but it would have to more like, you run into the building save the child returning him to his grateful mother. As you step away you wave to the admiring crowd, only to be promptly run over by a responding Fire Engine.
Still I want spectacular. I want to be in the paper for weeks afterwards, something that would make board in fact. How about stepping in front a wrecking ball, heck that would make The Dope, Darwin’s, you know FOX’ll milk it for all it’s worth.
I’m more of the “evil villain” school of thought, so I’m going to kill myself the slow and painful way: via long-term exposure.
I want to catch a heavy–but extremely long-term–dose of ultraviolet radiation, continue pouring mild acids and the occasionaly ethanol compound into my body, and simultaneously inhale, over a period of years, a mix of gases containing nitrogen and oxygen, guaranteed to slowly oxidize my organs. I’ll keep my heart dodgy by ensuring that my routine contains a few exhilarating, terrifying, or dramatic twists and turns. If I happen to get cancer before my plan kills me outright, I’ll find an expert marksman with a ravishing but easily-duped harem of gorgeous wives, and arrange to be caught in the act of adultery with at least six of them.
I’m not one for the pain thing, or the panicky anticipation so:
“Drowning” in dry Nitrogen gas. No carbon dioxide to cause a panic reaction, just fall asleep.
Or go strapped to a nuclear device (conversion to plasma before you notice).
But then again, I’ve never been suicidal so the best I hope for is peacefully in my sleep (not screaming in terror like my passengers ) or in some self sacrificial manner.
Get some really strong bungee cords (about 4-5 meters long) and go to a footbridge or overpass that goes over a highway. Attach the cords to the bridge and to yourself as appropriate, then wait for a line of trucks to come by.
Next morning’s headline: THE PADDLEBALL SUICIDE
Go not with a whimper, but with a “Smack! Boingggg! Smack! Boingggg! Smack! Boingggg!..”
I’d be careful, Jurph, an expert marksman is not likely to “accidentally” kill you outright and would (depending on the level of ire) probably be willing to prolong the um… chastisement longer than you think before administering a coup-de-grace.
A gifted amateur with a Barett M82A on the other hand …
A guy once taped a flat metal bottle opener to his wrist to which he attached the two ends of a lamp wire with a plug at the end. He plugged it into a light timer and set it for 4:00 AM. He drank a ton of whiskey and a few sleeping pills. When the timer came on at 4, he was toast, probably didn’t even wake him.
I thought this was pretty intelligent. How else do you ensure that you’ll die quickly and definitely in your sleep? Narcoleptic skydivers aside. That should be a sig line.
If I were to kill myself, I’d do one of those “death by police” things. And it wouldn’t be some kind of bank robbery, it’d be something spectacular. Something that would cause me to go in the history books like Booth.
Or I would sacrifice myself for one of my comrades-in-arms. Get me the Medal of Honor.
) or in some self sacrificial manner.