The Most Exciting Joe Schmoe Yet! (7/12/04)

I may need to have a doctor’s note to allow me to watch this show in the future. I simply do not know where to start.

Cammy and Tim in the heartrate contest? The *models * in the heartrate contest? The new girl in the tongue contest? The horrified look on Tim’s face when Piper said she thought she gave Bryce a bad rap after seeing his devotion to her (the plane banner)?

Or maybe I could mention Porked & Beans. I thought they just couldn’t make things any better once they brought out Porked & Beans. But then the mustachioed italian crams an apple in Cammy’s mouth at the end of it. And the host’s comment, “I’m sorry we all had to see that… on such a small television set.”

But none of that is nearly as good as the body shots. Or the fact that Jane Schmoe initiated about 50% of that trainwreck. “If it wasn’t for AIDS, what do you think we’d all be doing right now?” I dunno - getting syphilis tests and nursing our herpes sores?

Of course, the falcon twist was wonderful. “Well, this isn’t so much a twist as it is just plain horrible news.”

Or the elimination ceremony, complete with frog and half-eaten donut.

I love this show so much, I want to have its babies.

I finally got a chance to watch this last night, I was going to start a thread if nobody else did. The show is simply amazing. It’s such a dead-on parody of reality TV and a wonderful social experiment to see what kind of reality people will accept if they’re just thrust into it. Spoilers ahead, not that I think anybody cares, but just in case: I’m guessing that they’re going to bring Ingrid back on a “technicality”, similar to what they did with “The Hutch” last season… The previews for next week are enticing as well – “people’s gonna die?” My vote is that Bryce offs himself. I can’t wait!

I really, really hope their joking in the previews about somebody dying. (maybe it’ll be the frog, or the falcon?) Joking about a relative dying is bad enough. You just don’t make people think someone they know is dead when they’re not. Very uncool.

But anyway, porked & beans was the highlight of this season. They set it up well in advance, and we finally get the punchline. And Amanda’s handling of it was very classy.

But man, that dinner scene was soooo uncomfortable. Deliciously so. Way better than “piper’s parents.”

Am I the only one that noticed the competition with the models made no sense? Why were the models allowed to win? That would be really dumb if this was a real reality show. Elinor and Ingrid were the only ones to beat the models, they should have won. If I were Tim or Amanda, I would’ve called foul…

I hope we get to see more of Bryce. The flyby was cool, but there’s got to be more…

Surprised to see Ingrid go… she’ll have to be back somehow. Maybe Austin will beg the producers to let her back since he goofed.

After seeing last week’s previews for this week (“I can’t tolerate someone who lies to me.”) I was sure that Cammy was going to go. She’s been dominating the competition, and has gotten nearly all of Austen’s attention. I thought that would have been the perfect opportunity for her to be ejected, giving Amanda a “realistic” shot at winning the whole thing.