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  #1  
Old 07-15-2004, 09:05 AM
Phlosphr Phlosphr is offline
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FUCKING DEER! They ate all my whole fucking sunflower garden! ERRRR!!!!

Woke up this morning looked outside at the soupy humidity wafting up from the cool lawn...and like always, I looked over to the large sunflower patch my wife and I are growing and Their all STUBS!! Fuck!

I knew right away it was the deer. I had tried everything to get them to back off including micturating in a large circle around the patch all Farley Mowat style! (just kidding) but I did put some human hair in bags in various spots and that worked for a while. But today...FUCK...I lost the battle. I swear to God I'm going to sit up in my treehouse with my fucking 12 gauge and wait for those little bastards and Fucking Annihilate them all! Well not really, I'm a passafist, but fucking still!! ERRR!!!!

Anyone ever get a garden raped by the fawna around their house?
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  #2  
Old 07-15-2004, 09:23 AM
furlibusea furlibusea is offline
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My mother lives in a small mountain town in Colorado. For most of the last 25 years she has tried to grow peonies. It seems that fresh peonies buds are an Elk's absolute favorite food. Thing is in 25 years i think she has had one that actually got to bloom. They wait till they are just about to bloom then prune it right off.

The up side is that they got to watch an elk being born off their deck in the back yard this spring.
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  #3  
Old 07-15-2004, 09:37 AM
Squink Squink is offline
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Looking on the bright side, you no longer have an insect problem.
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  #4  
Old 07-15-2004, 09:40 AM
Uvula Donor Uvula Donor is offline
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12-gauge might wake the neighbors. Wanna borrow my crossbow? I've got broadheads...
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  #5  
Old 07-15-2004, 09:50 AM
PatriotX PatriotX is offline
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My MIL uses frequent applications of dog hair from a local groomer's to slow down the deer.
The only methods that I've seen work are fences.
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  #6  
Old 07-15-2004, 09:52 AM
Chefguy Chefguy is offline
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There's a product called "Plantskydd" (or something similar), which is liquified blood meal. It seems to work to keep the moose off my crabapple and birch trees, but nothing is 100%. My wife insisted on these trees, so when she complains about the moose my response is "If you plant food, expect it to be eaten."

If you go with the product above, make sure you wear long sleeves and rubber gloves, cuz the shit stinks bad.
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  #7  
Old 07-15-2004, 09:54 AM
Bruce_Daddy Bruce_Daddy is offline
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I got 2 for you:

a) My dad had a garden in the woods in which he grew, among other things, peppers. The really really hot kind. There were usually a few half eaten.

b) To solve the problem, my (very young at the time) sister suggested we hang those DeerAway horn thingies people put on their bumpers in the trees.
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  #8  
Old 07-15-2004, 10:03 AM
The Great Sun Jester The Great Sun Jester is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phlosphr
Anyone ever get a garden raped by the fawna around their house?
Cute. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on that one!
When I was growing up my dad spent much coin of the realm on a super-ultramagnificent cheery tree with grafts from 5 different types of cherry trees. We expected an absolute marvel of variety a couple years thence. And then came the deer and ate the whole god damned tree right dowm to the stump. Then they ate the 3 baby apple trees he'd planted at the same time. Deer are very short sighted. Deer are cute as hell when you're hiking in the mountains, but they're really no more welcome than a rabid weasel when they're in the yard.

And where you are if it's not the fawna (heh) it's the slugs. But at least the slugs are easier to catch ... and more fun to punish.
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  #9  
Old 07-15-2004, 10:57 AM
Phlosphr Phlosphr is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Uvula Donor
12-gauge might wake the neighbors. Wanna borrow my crossbow? I've got broadheads...
OOOOO....And a crossbow is relatively silent.
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  #10  
Old 07-15-2004, 11:11 AM
Athena Athena is offline
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'round these parts the local nurseries sell some kind of liquid deer repellant. Supposedly it works, although I have no first hand experience with it. You have to put it on every day for something like 2 weeks, then after that just once a month.
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  #11  
Old 07-15-2004, 11:14 AM
Skywatcher Skywatcher is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phlosphr
I knew right away it was the deer. I had tried everything to get them to back off including micturating in a large circle around the patch all Farley Mowat style! (just kidding) but I did put some human hair in bags in various spots and that worked for a while.
I thought you were supposed to spread a perimiter of human hair by itself.

How about powdered coyote urine? It can be spread around the perimiter or bags of the stuff can be hung at their nose leve.
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  #12  
Old 07-15-2004, 11:14 AM
BobLibDem BobLibDem is offline
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It's simple. Buy a large sack of feed corn. Put it out for them each evening.
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  #13  
Old 07-15-2004, 02:12 PM
whiterabbit whiterabbit is offline
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Mmm...venison!

I don't know if that'd actually be a good solution, but it was the first thing that occurred to me.
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  #14  
Old 07-15-2004, 05:22 PM
teela brown teela brown is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phlosphr
I'm a passafist, but fucking still!! ERRR!!!!
As in ---

Mike Tyson: "I'm a pacifist."
Interviewer: "You? A pacifist?"
Mike Tyson: "Yeah - you ask me too many questions, and I'll pass a fist through your head!"
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  #15  
Old 07-15-2004, 05:28 PM
pravnik pravnik is offline
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der phlospoher,

plse gro mre sunflawrs. tey wre verry gud.

luv, th der
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  #16  
Old 07-15-2004, 05:46 PM
TeaElle TeaElle is offline
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der phlospoher,

u ppl mved nto r spase, we dint invit u, u cut dwn tha tres and bilt howses wher we livd fur yeers an dint cayr abut us. u wnt prtty flawrs? go lve in tha sittee an by a wndo bx.

bite us,
th der
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  #17  
Old 07-15-2004, 07:42 PM
Jonathan Chance Jonathan Chance is offline
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Rats with antlers, buddy. Nothing more. Much is the garden I lost out in the Blue Ridge each year to those damn things.

City folk? They're only cute as you pass by them on the highway. In person they're pushy, aggressive bastards begging to be shot.

Don't use the 12-gauge. Not enough stopping power at a distance. Use a good hunting rifle with a large caliber. Something with some pop. Then stock up for the winter. Salted vension ain't that bad.
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  #18  
Old 07-15-2004, 08:10 PM
meek meek is offline
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I plant my sunflowers in order to feed the deer. They are my buddies.

And it keeps them from nibbling my trees.
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  #19  
Old 07-15-2004, 09:17 PM
Amazon Floozy Goddess Amazon Floozy Goddess is offline
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One thing you can do to save anything you might have left...

Make up a solution of water and some cayenne pepper. Not a whole lot. Maybe a teaspoon of cayenne to a liter of water. Then put it in a spray bottle and spritz your plants with it (you'll have to re-spritz after it rains, too). Most critters take one bite and never try it again. I had a squirrel with a penchant for the cherry tomatoes I was growing. Cayenne cured him of it.
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  #20  
Old 07-16-2004, 12:41 AM
Miller Miller is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phlosphr
Anyone ever get a garden raped by the fawna around their house?
Do neighbors count?

If it makes you feel any better, I understand the mountain lions are coming back in record numbers.
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  #21  
Old 07-16-2004, 06:27 AM
Dangerosa Dangerosa is offline
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Yep, they like my hostas as well. And the rose bushes. Some of my neighbors have their entire yards wrapped in netting. Others just wrap the gardens.

I just watch my hostas get eaten - not like they don't grow right back.
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  #22  
Old 07-16-2004, 07:53 AM
The Flying Dutchman The Flying Dutchman is offline
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I have to share my apples with the deer.

But I was wondering. We have lots of deer hanging around and lots of dogs in the neighbourhood. How come they don't chase the deer away? It seems you never see a dog and a deer nose to nose.
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  #23  
Old 07-16-2004, 08:13 AM
GingerOfTheNorth GingerOfTheNorth is offline
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In Northern Alberta, the only thing that stops them is fencing, and netting.
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  #24  
Old 07-16-2004, 08:42 AM
Phlosphr Phlosphr is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TeaElle
der phlospoher,

u ppl mved nto r spase, we dint invit u, u cut dwn tha tres and bilt howses wher we livd fur yeers an dint cayr abut us. u wnt prtty flawrs? go lve in tha sittee an by a wndo bx.

bite us,
th der
Dear Deer - My dog is mad at you. You do not want Grissholm to be mad at you. Bite us you say. No problem. I just hope he bites off your testicles (if you have them) and doesn't eat you whole whilst your heart still pumps.

I'm still bent that they are all gone.

I can't plant then again...they take too long to grow up....
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  #25  
Old 07-16-2004, 01:34 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phlosphr
Their all STUBS!!
All your stub are belong to us.

Sincerest regret, D.E.E.R.S.
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  #26  
Old 07-16-2004, 03:17 PM
romansperson romansperson is offline
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You need to fence anything you don't want the deer to eat. It's fairly easy and cheap to go to the store, buy some metal posts and a roll of metal fencing and put it up yourself. When I plant new bushes I do this when they are still small and would die if too much of them get eaten. It's not really fair to expect them not to eat what's freely available - after all, they have to live too, and I don't think they deserve to die just because they make the yard less pretty.

You could also put out food that the deer like better than the sunflowers, but then they start hanging around more and I expect that's not what you want.

At our place, the rabbits and the birds piss me off more. One year I planted tomato seeds in cups indoors and when the plants were big enough to go outside I put them on the back steps to acclimate for a couple days before I put them in the ground. The next morning they were gone - the rabbits had eaten them right down to the soil.

The birds will eat the raspberries, but the little buggers only eat *half* of each berry they find, which makes me nuts. I don't want them eating at my house unless they are members of the Clean Plate Club.

I don't know why many dogs don't seem to care about deer. My male greyhound will go after squirrels and rabbits, and would even chase other dogs and cats if he had the chance. He'd really like to catch himself an SUV, but when we see deer on our walks, neither he nor our female act like they're even there. It's kind of weird.
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  #27  
Old 07-16-2004, 08:05 PM
False_God False_God is offline
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Ivory soap. Hang bars of it from the trees, put it on fenceposts, etc.

Or invest in some cheap wire mesh netting, run a perimeter and get y'all couple-three car batteries. Ker-zap.
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  #28  
Old 07-16-2004, 08:17 PM
susan susan is offline
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Deer knocked over my 7-foot deer fence, so I had to build (i.e., pay to have built) an 8-foot fence. So far, so good. They stick their heads through and chew whatever's in reach (sunflowers, actually) but do not vault it. So far.
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  #29  
Old 07-17-2004, 12:12 AM
astro astro is offline
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How big are these deer? Could you make a few good meals from one? Also if shooting is forbidden, would it still be legal to snare one then go out and dispatch it silently, and bring it inside for gutting and preparation? Would it make any loud noise if it was caught?

Hmm.. I need a sandwich.
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  #30  
Old 07-17-2004, 08:03 AM
3.885AM 3.885AM is offline
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When I was about 18 I planted about a quarter acre of corn, nothing impressive but a bit of work nonetheless. I was quite happy when it started coming up in nice straight rows, just like a real farm, only smaller.
The plants were about 10-12 inches high when the geese arrived. They descended like a swarm of giant grey locust. When they departed there was nothing but weeds.
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  #31  
Old 07-17-2004, 01:31 PM
Batsinma Belfry Batsinma Belfry is offline
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Get one of those gallon sized sprayers that you pump air into so it makes a fine mist. Then pee in the sprayer a few times and add a few drops of unscented mineral oil. Then spray whatever you don't want the deer to eat.
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  #32  
Old 07-17-2004, 01:44 PM
astro astro is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hillbilly queen
Get one of those gallon sized sprayers that you pump air into so it makes a fine mist. Then pee in the sprayer a few times and add a few drops of unscented mineral oil. Then spray whatever you don't want the deer to eat.
Wow, this corn has a unique taste. I...I just can't put my finger on it.
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  #33  
Old 07-17-2004, 01:59 PM
Hanna Hanna is offline
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Honestly, all the spray on stuff may work - for a short time. If it rains, you have to re-apply. After a few days, it wears off and you have to re-apply. To permanently deter deer, build an 8 foot fence.
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  #34  
Old 07-17-2004, 06:19 PM
Phlosphr Phlosphr is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hillbilly queen
Get one of those gallon sized sprayers that you pump air into so it makes a fine mist. Then pee in the sprayer a few times and add a few drops of unscented mineral oil. Then spray whatever you don't want the deer to eat.
hgq - I think I would get arrested for such a maneuver. If not arrested...Chastized by my illustrious wife until the day I died...I can see it now.

And this one time...your father drank of 30 pack of Bush Lite and pissed in the gallon jar of pesticide spray, and spent the better part of the evening spraying the yard to ward off the deer...."

He spent the next 13 days in an in-patient psych ward
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