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  #1  
Old 08-06-2004, 09:43 AM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is offline
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Skid marks

In this post ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness said:
Quote:
My cousin dated a guy that she claimed had not mastered the simple act of wiping. She dumped him on St. Patrick's Day when she discovered the sexy boxer shorts she gave him as a Valentine's Day gift already had skid marks. She said peeked in his underwear drawer and found skiddies in about 90% of his briefs and about 60% of his boxers.
A friend of mine said that her last husband left hash marks on all of his underwear. I've heard other women complain about the same thing.

What's the deal with these people? Don't they think it's at least odd that they leave feces on their underwear? Do they not see it? Do they think that the purpose of underwear is to wipe their bums as they walk? Why would they not clean their bottoms after defecating?

Or am I just anal about anal hygene?

Tommy Toilet sez: Don't forget to wipe your ass folks!
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  #2  
Old 08-06-2004, 11:55 AM
Philster Philster is offline
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I am skid free.

I wipe with adult wipes, after the usual toilet paper wipe.

I know men who are proud of their skid marks. I am not that kinda man.

Why are they proud? We're talking about men. Ever see some dating shows? If it weren't for alcohol, some men would never get laid.

Also, there are alot of disgusting women. Really.
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  #3  
Old 08-06-2004, 12:38 PM
nonpolar nonpolar is offline
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Do women leave skidmarks on their unerwear?(think so)Or our princesses are faultless?
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  #4  
Old 08-06-2004, 12:53 PM
The Great Sun Jester The Great Sun Jester is offline
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IF I do underwear, it comes off at night clean enough to be put back in the drawer. My wife doesn't let me do that though.
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  #5  
Old 08-06-2004, 12:59 PM
pyrrthon1 pyrrthon1 is offline
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Moist paper towels then dry it with regular TP and you won't have that problem.
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  #6  
Old 08-06-2004, 01:04 PM
DaToad DaToad is offline
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Another stain free dude checking in. The solution to the problem is the three S's.

Shit

Shower

Shave

Train yourself!

Good God, I find it hard to believe that anyone would put stained underware in a drawer. Haven't these people heard of detergent, and maybe some Shout or Spray and Wash.
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  #7  
Old 08-06-2004, 01:14 PM
Susie Derkins Susie Derkins is offline
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My ex's solution to this problem was the three Bs:

Black

Boxer

Briefs

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  #8  
Old 08-06-2004, 01:23 PM
Podkayne Podkayne is offline
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Wow. That's quite a lot of derision.

I probably I should just keep my trap shut, but, yes, I have skidmarks in my underwear.

I clean myself carefully, and still I get them. It's not like there are great clumps of feces clinging to my underpants. Little brown lines just . . . appear there. I honestly think there have to be some differences in anatomy and/or physiology between people, because for some folks they just seem utterly unthinkable, but I've never found a way to defeat them.

I get them every day, so I'm not going waste time pretreating every damn pair of underwear I own to remove stains, just so they can reappear the next time they're worn. Aside for it being a waste of time, using strong stain-removers and scrubbing with every washing has got to wear yer undies out quicker. And, after all, we're talking about the crotchal area of underwear. It's not something any other human being ever has to look at, other than my husband, and he (despite being relatively skid-mark free himself) has never complained. I wash my underwear in hot water with detergent, so it's not like they're unhygenic. I have had exactly one vaginal bacterial infection in my entire life, and I know exactly how I got it and it had nothing to do with my undies. I have had no other troubles Down There at all, so I don't believe it's a health issue.

So. There you go. Feel free to be disgusted, but I've had skid marks all my life, and I'm unlikely to ever change.
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  #9  
Old 08-06-2004, 02:18 PM
Philster Philster is offline
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Podkayne, YOU'RE NOT REALLY THAT TERRORIST, THE ONE WHO IS BETTER KNOWN AS I-ZHEET M'DRURZ ARE YOU!
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  #10  
Old 08-06-2004, 02:28 PM
overlyverbose overlyverbose is offline
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How did the woman in the OP find out there were skid marks on the guy's underwear? Was she washing them, or specifically looking for skid marks? If it's the first, that seems somewhat normal, and I can understand why she's grossed out (you'd think after the first few times he got skids he'd learn to wipe better). If it's the second, well, that's kind of weird. It seems odd that someone would plow through a guy's (or girl's) undewear drawer looking for skids. Yuck.
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  #11  
Old 08-06-2004, 02:35 PM
Ethilrist Ethilrist is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Podkayne
I honestly think there have to be some differences in anatomy and/or physiology between people,
... like, say, quantity and location of body hair...
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  #12  
Old 08-06-2004, 02:57 PM
Colophon Colophon is offline
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There is the odd occasion when, y'know, you feel you could go on wiping all day and never get 100% clean. If you're out and about and don't have access to a shower then a pair might have to take a hit for the team. I accept that. But surely the mark will come out with goddamm hot water and detergent? Wash your undercrackers, people!
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  #13  
Old 08-06-2004, 03:16 PM
Nametag Nametag is offline
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Some people are not fortunate enough to have flawless GI tracts; some eat things that produce gas and anal leakage; some have chronic problems that result in a constant discharge; some are just old, and have lost a little tone in the ol' sphincter.

No, it doesn't wash out. If it's been in the laundry bin for a week or two, it may set. Some people have a little blood mixed the leakage -- that happens when you have chronic bowel inflammation. Those people wouldn't have spotless underwear if they stripped three times a day and pretreated with bleach.

Count your blessings, *ssholes.
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  #14  
Old 08-06-2004, 03:24 PM
DaToad DaToad is offline
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Little brown lines just . . . appear there. I honestly think there have to be some differences in anatomy and/or physiology between people
Hmmm, it could be the infamous prehensile anus at work.
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  #15  
Old 08-06-2004, 04:13 PM
scout1222 scout1222 is offline
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Philster, I've been having a crummy afternoon, so I thank you so very much for the hearty laugh your post got from me.



What, you thought I came in here to admit I have skid marks?
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  #16  
Old 08-06-2004, 05:00 PM
bughunter bughunter is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nametag
Some people are not fortunate enough to have flawless GI tracts; some eat things that produce gas and anal leakage; some have chronic problems that result in a constant discharge; some are just old, and have lost a little tone in the ol' sphincter.... Count your blessings, *ssholes.
Thank God someone finally said it, even though it took 13 posts.

I can wipe until there's nothing left; not even an odor comes off on the paper. And still, a half an hour later, I've got to go back into the bathroom and wipe again. There's always some straggling leakage. I've been that way since childhood.

And, surprise... that's what underwear's for!.
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  #17  
Old 08-06-2004, 06:20 PM
START START is offline
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I don't think skid marks are that uncommon just really gross...I haven't had any since I was 9 but that is also when I switched from tighty whiteys to boxers in any color but white. I do think that washing your butt crack is one of the most important things to do in the bath or shower, nothing worse than a person who doesn't wash their butt crack.
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  #18  
Old 08-06-2004, 07:08 PM
Padmaraga Padmaraga is offline
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TMI alert (but then, it's already too late)

After finding out the hard way that even the slightest contact between even the minutest amount of fecal material (can you say "fecal coliform"?) and my vaginal region produces a raging infection the likes of which can bring me to tears and last for days, I would rather wipe my ass bloody raw with a rough paper towel than leave a skid mark.

Baby wipes are my best friend.
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  #19  
Old 08-06-2004, 07:33 PM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is offline
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I do think that washing your butt crack is one of the most important things to do in the bath or shower, nothing worse than a person who doesn't wash their butt crack.
People don't?

I apologise to those who have some sort of condition that causes leakage. It never occured to me. I thought hash marks were just a hygene problem.
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  #20  
Old 08-06-2004, 11:25 PM
ouryL ouryL is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny L.A.
In this post ChockFullOfHeadyGoodness said:

A friend of mine said that her last husband left hash marks on all of his underwear. I've heard other women complain about the same thing.

What's the deal with these people? Don't they think it's at least odd that they leave feces on their underwear? Do they not see it? Do they think that the purpose of underwear is to wipe their bums as they walk? Why would they not clean their bottoms after defecating?

Or am I just anal about anal hygene?

Tommy Toilet sez: Don't forget to wipe your ass folks!

I learned early to only take a dump in a bathroom, so that I could always take a quick shower. ;j
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  #21  
Old 08-07-2004, 12:20 AM
astro astro is offline
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I don't have them, but I've had relatives that did, and roommates that did when I was in college, and these people were generally fastidously clean. There are some sloppy wiping slobs, but I think in many cases it's simply because people don't have perfect little shutters on their anuses.
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  #22  
Old 08-07-2004, 06:35 AM
Sublight Sublight is offline
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Maybe I'm anatomically lucky, but I've never had them, and was shocked when I saw them on my college roommate's underwear (they were lying on the floor in the middle of the room. He was pretty much an all-around slob). I admit I used to be pretty obsessive about wiping, though.

My solution now? Washlets. Just push a button next to the toilet, and a little nozzle pokes out from under the rim, gives you a thorough hosing down, and all that's left to do is use a couple of sheets of TP to dry off. You're good to go even after an all-you-can-eat curry buffet.
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  #23  
Old 08-07-2004, 06:38 AM
Sublight Sublight is offline
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Forgot to include my link.

Washlet.

Pretty much standard in all Japanese homes now.
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  #24  
Old 08-07-2004, 07:37 AM
don't ask don't ask is offline
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Could this mark the decline of the SDMB - we have gone from talking shit to talking shit stains. What could rank lower?
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  #25  
Old 08-07-2004, 11:46 AM
Larry Mudd Larry Mudd is offline
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Thanks, folks.

Last night, I had a few beers with friends, got back a little after 1:00am (PST,) which gave me just enough to time to drunkenly diddle around on the board for a half hour before bed. This was the last thread I read.

I had the worst anxiety dream about anal hygiene I've ever had. In the shower, washing my ass, finding big ol' chunks caught up in the wee hairs, and trying to calculate how long I'd been walking around with all that in my drawers. On public transit! Through a job interview! While drunkenly flirting with that cute philippina girl!

FTR, no skid-marks outside of nightmares. Thanks again, SDMB.
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  #26  
Old 08-07-2004, 12:05 PM
Revtim Revtim is offline
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It happens that I can wipe till I bleed, and if it's a very soft bowel movement, I'll leave a skid. I must have a bit of leakage. Where can get a gasket for that? I'm pretty sure that "ass-gasket" refers to the paper seat cover, and not what I'm looking for...

It's doesn't help being a hairy guy. I think it was Adam Corolla who said it's like "pushing peanut butter across a shag carpet with cotton ball."
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  #27  
Old 08-07-2004, 12:09 PM
nonpolar nonpolar is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sublight
Forgot to include my link.

Washlet.

Pretty much standard in all Japanese homes now.


Washlet is OK .My dream toilet is the one they use on Space Shuttle- ASTRO TOILET.
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  #28  
Old 08-07-2004, 01:10 PM
NadaHappyCamper NadaHappyCamper is offline
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Think of it as preformance art.
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  #29  
Old 08-07-2004, 05:01 PM
caligynephobia caligynephobia is offline
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My 3YO gets skidmarks all the time, but it's from the prarie dogs.
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  #30  
Old 08-07-2004, 05:43 PM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is offline
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Quote:
My 3YO gets skidmarks all the time, but it's from the prarie dogs.
Is that like "Whack-A-Mole"?
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  #31  
Old 08-07-2004, 06:50 PM
quiltguy154 quiltguy154 is offline
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Can you say bidet? A standard fixture in some European countries for decades. OTOH, several neatly-folded and strategically-placed sheets of TP can be your best friend.
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  #32  
Old 08-07-2004, 07:38 PM
dnooman dnooman is offline
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I used to think thongs were sexy, thanks guys.
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  #33  
Old 08-07-2004, 07:41 PM
praxim praxim is offline
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I used to get 'em when I was a kid, up until I was about 10. I was no champion wiper, or bather, or anything. Now I'm really, uh, anal about hygiene.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Mudd
In the shower, washing my ass, finding big ol' chunks caught up in the wee hairs, and trying to calculate how long I'd been walking around with all that in my drawers.
TMI: This happens to us hairy-assed beasts, and it's really, really gross. I once had to cut the hair to get one out, like you might free a paratrooper from a tree. That's gotta be the worst place to have tangled hair.
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  #34  
Old 08-07-2004, 07:42 PM
Jophiel Jophiel is offline
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My 3YO gets skidmarks all the time, but it's from the prarie dogs
I'd stop feeding him or her prairie dogs then.
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  #35  
Old 08-07-2004, 08:22 PM
Shakes Shakes is online now
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It's the hairs around the anus is the clincher. At least for me anyway. I think what happens is after you take a dump; the hairs around your anus trap the feckel matter. Thus all the wiping in the world (with reg toilet paper) wont get it out.

But then after you pull you pants up and walk around for say like an hour or two. Your ass crack gets heated and start to sweat thus cuasing all the feckle matter to migrate south.

I use adult wipes now and haven't had that problem since.
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  #36  
Old 08-07-2004, 08:36 PM
Fiona Orange Fiona Orange is offline
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Or, you could shave it all off and have a nice, smooth, hairless buttcrack. No dingleberries for this boy!
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  #37  
Old 08-07-2004, 08:49 PM
kunilou kunilou is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nametag
Some people are not fortunate enough to have flawless GI tracts; some eat things that produce gas and anal leakage; some have chronic problems that result in a constant discharge; some are just old, and have lost a little tone in the ol' sphincter.
Hemmerhoids. All the bidets and moist toilet paper on earth won't stop the effects of raging 'poids.
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  #38  
Old 08-07-2004, 08:50 PM
Shakes Shakes is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiona Orange
Or, you could shave it all off and have a nice, smooth, hairless buttcrack. No dingleberries for this boy!
Oooh, boy.

I got'a know. HOw the hell do you shave back there with out mutilating yourself?

Also what about the itch factor?
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  #39  
Old 08-07-2004, 08:51 PM
kunilou kunilou is offline
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Sorry -- 'roids.
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  #40  
Old 08-07-2004, 09:21 PM
Bear_Nenno Bear_Nenno is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SHAKES
Oooh, boy.

I got'a know. HOw the hell do you shave back there with out mutilating yourself?

Also what about the itch factor?
Use clippers. A good pair with a 000 guard. Itching has never been a problem. But maybe it's an issue of sensitive skin. I can roll around in fiberglass insulation all day and not feel a thing. I can also sleep in poison ivy and not get a rash. . .
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  #41  
Old 08-08-2004, 12:37 AM
ParentalAdvisory ParentalAdvisory is offline
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Is it really that hard to understand how it happens? It's like your ass is a rattle can. You can wipe all day, maybe even use a Bidet to clean yourself. But if you're like me, you get massive gas throughout the day after making a deposit. It's called "over spray" when you let out massive gas at once. Just wash yourself everyday and you're good. Although you can't do much for the tighty whiteys.
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  #42  
Old 08-08-2004, 01:17 AM
Fiona Orange Fiona Orange is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SHAKES
Oooh, boy.

I got'a know. How the hell do you shave back there with out mutilating yourself?

Also what about the itch factor?
It's a really hard angle to get to at first try, and it takes a good while to get it nice and cleaned out. But once you get it, it's gone and it feels pretty nice. No bumps or razor burn at all, although I got some pretty wicked crackstubble after a few days.

And no hair actually grows on your anus, just around, so you only have to take care of the sides. No danger of cutting yourself, either. I used a simple Mach3 razor, some hot watter, and I was good to go.
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  #43  
Old 08-08-2004, 02:59 AM
nonpolar nonpolar is offline
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Why we have to wear underwear anyway?
When home I put sweatpants on and underwear stays in the drawer.
It feels sooo good ,fresh air gets in .....well ,you guys have to try.
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  #44  
Old 08-08-2004, 04:29 AM
Typo Negative Typo Negative is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bughunter
I can wipe until there's nothing left; not even an odor comes off on the paper. And still, a half an hour later, I've got to go back into the bathroom and wipe again.
I have the same problem. To combat it, after wiping with tp I always wipe with a wet paper towel, then a dry one. Seems to work fine.
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  #45  
Old 08-09-2004, 06:32 PM
bughunter bughunter is offline
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Originally Posted by Sublight
Amused to notice that all of their standard models are apparently named after pornovid starlets. And not just any starlets, but ones that go to extremes...

"Jasmine" -- Kicked off the whole mega-gangbang thing by doing one with a couple hundred guys.

"Chloe" -- Best known for her accommodation of entire upper appendages, and teaching others how to do the same.

Yes, I know far too much about these people. The memories of my bachelor days have not faded completely, and still occasionally provide a source of trivia.
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  #46  
Old 08-09-2004, 06:59 PM
Gatopescado Gatopescado is offline
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Oh, come on now Johnny! You can't honestly tell me that after a 500 mile day* on the R1 you don't have a little "mist" down in the skivvies!

Any good desert racer will tell you that if you don't finish a race with a skid or two, you weren't trying hard enough. I've never met a fighter pilot or desert racer who's asshole worked right. All them "whoop-de-doos" and g-forces.

Hell, I once saw a video clip of one of them "Tour de France" guys full-on take a dump and not miss a beat!

*You do these all the time, right? You are a real rider, aren't you? Don't make me question your motorcyclist credentials!
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  #47  
Old 08-09-2004, 08:33 PM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is offline
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Oh, come on now Johnny! You can't honestly tell me that after a 500 mile day* on the R1 you don't have a little "mist" down in the skivvies!
Nope. I don't have skid marks.

As for the 500-mile rides, Ow, my knees! Yeah, I dinged up my knees skiing and in a car crash (a year apart), so I need to stretch after 100 miles or so. The longest ride I ever did was on the XJ600 from L.A. to north of San Francisco.
Quote:
I've never met a fighter pilot... asshole worked right. All them "whoop-de-doos" and g-forces.
Heh. I'm a helicopter pilot.
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  #48  
Old 08-10-2004, 12:27 AM
CanvasShoes CanvasShoes is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colophon
There is the odd occasion when, y'know, you feel you could go on wiping all day and never get 100% clean. If you're out and about and don't have access to a shower then a pair might have to take a hit for the team. I accept that. But surely the mark will come out with goddamm hot water and detergent? Wash your undercrackers, people!
Um bettter yet, wash your behind eh? I mean, if a person prevents the problem from getting to the underwear in the first place.

I always keep baby wipes in the bathroom for freshness and the potential "skid" problem.

However, I've never had a boyfriend that had this um, occurance. So I have no way of knowing if it's "common" or not. My former bf's all shared my preference for baby wipes.
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  #49  
Old 08-10-2004, 12:53 AM
CanvasShoes CanvasShoes is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SHAKES
Oooh, boy.

I got'a know. HOw the hell do you shave back there with out mutilating yourself?

Also what about the itch factor?
Can you say full brazilian wax? I knew you could.

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  #50  
Old 08-10-2004, 01:00 AM
dnooman dnooman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CanvasShoes
My former bf's all shared my preference for baby wipes.
If they're there, use 'em. Do that many people do a "wet wash" every time they crap?

I doubt every one of your boyfriends was a baby wipe user before the idea was presented to them. I'm sure it seemed like a good idea to them though.
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