When all was said and drunk, the place one would have expected to earn the title of "Most Fatally Inebriated"--New Orleans--staggered in sixth from last. Instead, the city with the most toxic levels of intoxication is Denver. Who knows? Maybe the thin air makes everyone thickheaded about designating drivers and limiting libations.
That'sh right folks. You allllll are bunch of pansy pansyweights. We arrrre the drunkesht of the land.... hey... you lookin at me? You wanna start sumptin? thatsh wut I thoudght.. ohhh, nicshe rack, wanna dance babeee, cum on wuts the probum , scruw you prubibly a whore anyway, ahhh crapp, I gotta take a pishh.
And yet we still manage to be one of the healthiest cities around, Hehe.