men shopping with wives are often like children

[OliverTwistofLime]

Today I was shopping alone at Costco with some knowledge of what my wife wanted me to buy. Yet, as I have done in the past, when I want to get something new, I find myself often calling her on my cell for approval.

I laugh to myself why I do it. Its because she makes such a big deal if I buy too much or if "we don"t need it".

What I found even more amusing was that grown men in their 30s, 40s and older said to their wife or significant other something like "Lets get this" and like a mother to a child, she would retort.."we don't need it" or "put it back". I'm not exaggerating when I say I saw this in 5 separate situations this afternoon

Have my fellow dopers noticed the same thing or am I just a total wus? and why do we men acquiesce so easily.....thats the secret of continuing the marriage might be one answer.

[Batsinma Belfry]

When my husband grocery shops alone, he comes back with all kinds of junk food. He'll try to make up for it by getting me something. "I saw these new cookies and thought it looked like something you would like. If you don't like them, I guess I could eat them."

[Rufus Xavier]

I haven't noticed the behavior described in the OP, but I know when I shop with my wife, I get cranky and I need a nap right after. Does that count?

[auntie em]

Originally Posted by hillbilly queen

When my husband grocery shops alone, he comes back with all kinds of junk food. He'll try to make up for it by getting me something. "I saw these new cookies and thought it looked like something you would like. If you don't like them, I guess I could eat them."

Hmph. And here I thought SkipMagic was buying all that stuff for ME . . .

Thanks for opening my eyes, HQ.

[misstee]

Originally Posted by auntie em

Hmph. And here I thought SkipMagic was buying all that stuff for ME . . .

Thanks for opening my eyes, HQ.

I have known about this little trick for a while. I'll give you an even better example. Our son's birthday is just 2 days before mine so often times when we have his birthday party I get stuff, too. ( This year my brother got me Kid Rock tickets! ) This year hubby got our son a PS2 game that is a M-rating. ( For those of you who don't know the rating system, thats for M for mature- our son is 9! ) And he got me two CDs and a DVD. One of the CDs he opened and took out to his car, the other is still in the wrapper in the computer room and the DVD he opened and watched right away.

His birthday is coming up, so I think a nice PS2 with an E ( for everyone ) rating, a couple of Disney movies and maybe a CD I like is in order!




Lest you all think he's a jerk, he's really not - he buys what he thinks others will like, because it's something he likes. Also, we disagree on the games we feel are appropriate for the kids to play.

[the Lady]

I have a different problem. The husband won't put things in the cart.
Then, when we get home he'll say something like "well - I wanted cookies, but you didn't get any"
Dumbass. I am firmly of the opinion that if he wants to eat something, and I have not yet acquired it, he is fully capable of adding it to the cart on his own.

[Maus Magill]

Originally Posted by misstee

His birthday is coming up, so I think a nice PS2 with an E ( for everyone ) rating, a couple of Disney movies and maybe a CD I like is in order!

My family calls these types of "gifts" Sheriff Badges." My Father, when he was a little boy, gave his father a sheriff's badge and cap gun for his birthday, so my Grand-daddy would be able to play cowboys and indians.

Back to the OP. I have the opposite problem. I won't stray from the list. At all. I don't care if Kielbasa is on sale and we have a coupon. It's not on the list.

When shopping at the mall with my wife I will often finding myself slipping into little kid mode. I'll think to myself, "not ANOTHER store." I really work hard to not let it show, because she rewards my patience with ice cream.

Every man has a price, mine happens to be ice cream.

[Mama Tiger]

Okay, I've always known Papa Tiger is an aberration, but you guys have really confirmed it.

He LOVES to shop. And he's the most serious comparison shopper I have ever met.

An example? Shortly after we were married, we went to the grocery store. He wanted to buy some bacon. He looks carefully at the shelves for a couple of minutes. I start getting restless. He picks up a package. "That looks good," says I. "Why don't we get that one?" "I need to see if anything else is better and cheaper," says he.

So he starts picking up and examining the packages of bacon. One after another after another after another after another after.....well, you get the idea. For TEN MINUTES.

I give up and sit down on the floor. Does he notice? Nope, he keeps looking at the bacon.

Finally, when he has literally looked at EVERY SINGLE PACKAGE of bacon on the shelves, he picks the one he wants to buy.

You guessed it. It's the VERY FIRST ONE he'd picked up.

Needless to say, I have avoided going to the grocery store with him like the plague ever since!

And he only buys sensible stuff. If I want junk food? Unless I specifically ask for it, he NEVER gets me any. He doesn't eat junk food himself so it's just not on his radar, apparently.

Plus when he goes out to go shopping, he wants to do it ALL. That means he'll plan out a trip with the most efficient route based on time, distance, perishability of items, etc., and then start going to one store after another after another. He LIKES that, apparently. I find it grueling and exhausting.

Guess who I let do all the shopping, all by himself, most of the time?

[cowgirl]

Yes, my husband is like a child when we shop.

He dawdles; unless I prod him ('Just pick a damn loaf of bread!') he would stand staring at the shelf all day.

Left to his own devices, he forges to pick up key items (eg bananas, which we eat for breakfast every single day) and instead buys cookies. The bananas are a victory: he once suggested Mr Noodle would be a good daily breakfast.

He doesn't look at prices when he obeys his impulses. Just because it looks like a cheap lunch, doesn't mean it is.

But he makes up for it by cooking well, and frequently.

[Cyn]

Drachillix is an excellent grocery shopper and does 98% of all the food buying/preparation at our house on a daily basis. I tag along so I can put junk food and hair products in the cart,
Clothes shopping is another story. Not even the lingerie dept. can get the zombie-fied look off his face. He slouches slowly in my wake, patient endurance and hopeless acceptance in his dull eyes. In his more enlightened moments, he finds a chair and whips out the cell phone and plays games until I feel sorry for him and take him home.

[smam]

Dawdling in the middle of an aisle, staring at everything and nothing simultaneously, in a trance-like state whilst shuffling from one foot to the other is my modus operandi.
Something about the bright lights reflecting off gaudy packaging causes some sort of short-circuit in my brain.
If it wasn't for my girlfriend I would be there till closing, I need that nudge to bring me back to reality.
The only thing I do well whilst shopping is trolley surfing and organising the goods in our trolley by temperature. I may be an aisle zombie but no rotisserie chicken straight from the oven was ever placed next to the butter on my shift.

[fishbicycle]

My wife and I must have worked it out pretty well. She doesn't make me sit outside the changing rooms holding her purse (anymore - it only happened a couple of times), and I don't drag her around Home Depot. If she's going into Lane Bryant, I go across to the CD store or the shoe store and browse idly, until she's through. We usually go grocery shopping together, and pick out the stuff we normally eat, and any other goodies that catch our eye, if we need them. ("I know they look good, hon, but we don't need Zebra Cakes! How about a Key Lime pie instead?")

I'm probably a better shopper than she is - I had quite a few years more experience doing it for myself than she did. I wouldn't, however, look at every package of bacon before choosing one!

[Maus Magill]

Originally Posted by Cyn

Clothes shopping is another story. Not even the lingerie dept. can get the zombie-fied look off his face. He slouches slowly in my wake, patient endurance and hopeless acceptance in his dull eyes. In his more enlightened moments, he finds a chair and whips out the cell phone and plays games until I feel sorry for him and take him home.

I know that state of benign acceptance of your fate.

I do have to amend my above post. I used to just stand there, staring out into space, with a little bit of drool on my chin, in the aisles of Lane Bryant or Casual Corner. Then two things happened:

First I was unemployeed, and took to watching the Fashion Harpies, Trinny and Susanna on BBC America. They told their victims not wat they wanted to hear, but what they needed to hear, and the victim often looked nicer for it. In the dim recesses of my brain I recalled that I had once been instucted to do the same for my wife.

Second, I was sentenced to stand in a clothes shop while my wife looked for maternity clothes. a strange thing happened. The clerk actually assisted my wife in picking out a new outfit. He steered her away from things that wouldn't look good on her - things I knew wouldn't look good, but never had the guts to tell her, because she liked the outfit - and she appriciated the advice.

I realized why I had been dragged along for all these shopping excursions. I wasn't there as a sherpa, I was there to actually help. I had a purpose.

Unfortunately for my wife, I can still only tolerate 2-3 stores max.

She still rewards me with Ice Cream.

[teela brown]

Mr. Pug adores to shop, but I prefer shopping by myself. This is because he turns a necessary clothes shopping trip for me into a window-shopping expedition for himself. Before I even get to my clothes shop, he has dragged me into every leather jacket, pewter flask and Mephisto shoe shop in the mall and excitedly shown me all the cool stuff he wants. By the time I get to my destination, I'm tired and cranky and he's saying "C'mon, let's get out of here and go home. I've got stuff I need to do."

So next time I go shopping, I'm leaving the kid at home.

[Green_Means_Go]

I am definitely the little kid when it comes to going shopping, especially if you get me into the electronic stores.

The problem is that my wife is so nice that she usually would let me get stuff if I wanted it. That means I have to be the little kid and the grown-up both


Me1: I want this, can I have it?
Me2: You don't need a 120 dollar wireless keyboard
Me1: But its REAAAALY cool! Look at it!
Me2: Yes, thats very nice, but you already have a keyboard
Me1: but..but..but...
Me2: Tell you what, we can stop for beer on the way home
Me1: Whoohoo!!

In the grocery store, my wife is cute. She reads all the of 'cents per ounce' on the price labels trying to save money but forgets to look at the price and size.

Wife: Look honey, this is 3 cents per ounce cheaper!
Me: Well, yeah, but its 17 dollars more and we don't need an 86 pound can of beans....

[Jurph]

Originally Posted by Rufus Xavier

I haven't noticed the behavior described in the OP, but I know when I shop with my wife, I get cranky and I need a nap right after. Does that count?

I, too, have a shopping gauge. It starts at various levels, but when it's drained, I rapidly slip into a foul mood. Caffeine can help, chocolate can help, and being turned loose in a bookstore can almost refuel me in some cases. But if I'm out too long, forget it. I'm going to be a mean, cranky, and cantankerous sonofabitch for the rest of the day.

[Jurph]

Originally Posted by Mama Tiger

Okay, I've always known Papa Tiger is an aberration, but you guys have really confirmed it.

He LOVES to shop. And he's the most serious comparison shopper I have ever met.

An example? Shortly after we were married, we went to the grocery store. He wanted to buy some bacon. He looks carefully at the shelves for a couple of minutes. I start getting restless. He picks up a package. "That looks good," says I. "Why don't we get that one?" "I need to see if anything else is better and cheaper," says he.

So he starts picking up and examining the packages of bacon. One after another after another after another after another after.....well, you get the idea. For TEN MINUTES.

I give up and sit down on the floor. Does he notice? Nope, he keeps looking at the bacon.

Finally, when he has literally looked at EVERY SINGLE PACKAGE of bacon on the shelves, he picks the one he wants to buy.

You guessed it. It's the VERY FIRST ONE he'd picked up.

Needless to say, I have avoided going to the grocery store with him like the plague ever since!

And he only buys sensible stuff. If I want junk food? Unless I specifically ask for it, he NEVER gets me any. He doesn't eat junk food himself so it's just not on his radar, apparently.

Plus when he goes out to go shopping, he wants to do it ALL. That means he'll plan out a trip with the most efficient route based on time, distance, perishability of items, etc., and then start going to one store after another after another. He LIKES that, apparently. I find it grueling and exhausting.

Guess who I let do all the shopping, all by himself, most of the time?

Holy crap!! I need to get you together with Jurphette. Maybe you ladies can work out a way that PT and I can go on a play date. Shop date? Whatever. This is totally my style. I think it's the frenetic browsing that drives me up the wall. Identify, Evaluate, Compare, Decide. It's just that simple.

[cadolphin]

Originally Posted by MadSam

Have my fellow dopers noticed the same thing or am I just a total wus? and why do we men acquiesce so easily.....thats the secret of continuing the marriage might be one answer.

In our case, the one word answer is: YES

[JohnT]

Wait... some men may have an actual say-so in how the household funds can be spent?

Why didn't anyone tell me?

[Mama Tiger]

Actually, Jurph, while I'm sure I'd enjoy a play date with Jurphette while you and Papa Tiger go shopping together, right now I'm a Shopping Widow -- he's working halfway across the country, so suddenly I have to do all the shopping. After years of sitting at home and watching delicious, economical, home-cooked meals appear on the table, I am suddenly finding myself having to brush off those long-neglected skills of housewifery that I indulged in when I was young and stupid.

What it mostly means, however, is frozen dinners. Because I'm too lazy to shop for anything else and too lazy to fix anything else.

Papa Tiger, by the way, is also that aberration: A husband who can do all my laundry, even the delicates, without ever ruining a thing. His secret? He reads the labels. Other husbands, take note: It's really a basic skill that even you can perform. And your wife will immediately have bragging rights over all her girlfriends. "My husband can do all the laundry all by himself, and do it well!"

[Smeghead]

I guess this is one nice thing about being single. I shop when I want, how I want, for as long as I want. And I only have to buy things that I want.

[Maus Magill]

Originally Posted by Mama Tiger

Other husbands, take note: It's really a basic skill that even you can perform. And your wife will immediately have bragging rights over all her girlfriends. "My husband can do all the laundry all by himself, and do it well!"

Yes, but can he press your shirts?

[Greenback]

Originally Posted by Cyn

Clothes shopping is another story. Not even the lingerie dept. can get the zombie-fied look off his face. He slouches slowly in my wake, patient endurance and hopeless acceptance in his dull eyes. In his more enlightened moments, he finds a chair and whips out the cell phone and plays games until I feel sorry for him and take him home.

I am like that most times but I found something that got me interested.

I took my wife shopping for an outfit/ensemble/whatever you gals call it on the condition that I was in control. It was great. We don't have a lot of cash but I felt like a I had a million bucks.

We walked into the first store that looked like I might like, the saleslady moved toward my wife as I expected. I intercept her and say that I would like to see that outfit hanging on the wall as well this blouse with that skirt. She stops, nods and scurries off. I proceed to grab another saleslady and point out a couple more articles of clothing and accessories then walked to the change rooms like I was the emperor of the world, sat down, and waited for my wife to try them on for me. The salesladies seemed to get a kick out of it and caught very quickly and I found myself with three or more ladies suggesting what would look good with what. Four stores and countless outfits later I finally settled on what I wanted to buy Mrs G. Mrs G also found out that I got a pretty good eye for style

This may not work all the time but for those extended shopping trips, playing BigDaddy made me feel like king of the world with a damn fine lady as my queen.



But yeah, for the most part, I am a pain to shop with.

[Dogzilla]

Originally Posted by Smeghead

I guess this is one nice thing about being single. I shop when I want, how I want, for as long as I want. And I only have to buy things that I want.

I know. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the idea that, if something goes horribly wrong and I end up getting married, a number of financial horrors could befall me.

• He could have a bad credit rating!
• I might have to debate and discuss possible purchases -- mine and his.
• He might buy crap I don't want or like, or even want in my (our) house.
• He might not be able to shop without supervision.
• He might be free of self-control and could spend all the money if I'm not there to stop him.

What happens to boys once you marry them? Do they lose IQ points or something? Did you want or anticipate this change occurring? Because I'm assuming you all married bright responsible men who could all carry on in their lives all by themselves and then one day you got married and the men lost their ability to shop. What's up with that?

[Greenback]

Originally Posted by Dogzilla

I know. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the idea that, if something goes horribly wrong and I end up getting married, a number of financial horrors could befall me.

• He could have a bad credit rating!
• I might have to debate and discuss possible purchases -- mine and his.
• He might buy crap I don't want or like, or even want in my (our) house.
• He might not be able to shop without supervision.
• He might be free of self-control and could spend all the money if I'm not there to stop him.

What happens to boys once you marry them? Do they lose IQ points or something? Did you want or anticipate this change occurring? Because I'm assuming you all married bright responsible men who could all carry on in their lives all by themselves and then one day you got married and the men lost their ability to shop. What's up with that?

But it all evens out once the woman gets pregnant. My wife's IQ dropped an entire standard deviation when I knocked her up. Now I'm the smrt one

[norinew]

Well, my hubby is a study in contrast. For regular, weekly shopping at the market, I go alone. All the price-comparison, reading nutrition labels and tracking the coupons makes his brain bleed. OTOH, once a month we do "an Altoona run". That's exactly how we put it. Near Bedford, PA, about a half-hour from here, is a discount gorcery store called The Little Barn. We buy a lot of non-perishables there. In Roaring Spring, PA, a half-hour from Little Barn, is another discount store that sells some groceries, some clothing, and some electronics (a new hp deskjet 3620 printer for $35.00) and some furniture. From Roaring Springs, it's spittin' distance to Altoona and Sam's Club o' Wonders. I need him with me on these days, 'cuz that crap gets heavy! He's wonderful on these 7 hour forays!

Mama Tiger, I hate to break it to you, love, but your husband is not an "aberration" he is a freak of nature. Get out while there's still time!

[nonpolar]

Originally Posted by Rufus Xavier

I haven't noticed the behavior described in the OP, but I know when I shop with my wife, I get cranky and I need a nap right after. Does that count?

Shoping with women is absolute horror!

[swampbear]

Originally Posted by nonpolar

Shoping with women is absolute horror!

Now, now, that all depends. I hate clothes shopping for myself. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. Except when I'm buying a suit. I likes to buy suits.

Ok, all that having been said, here's my point: (finally! they all cry in unison )

I am a gay guy. That's a boy who likes boys for those of you who need it broken down even further. If one of my girl type friends wants me to go shopping with her, I'm all over it. We can shop and accessorize each other for hours on end. Then go have a wonderful late lunch and a drink or ten. That I can do all day. I know that's different than hubby and wifey shopping. She won't hit me if I say something makes her ass look fat. She respects my opinion, even when I make mack truck backing up noises. Being a woman's gay guy has its advantages.