What Mr. Moto said is gospel. Base housing has gotten pretty good, with all the new construction based on the quality of life issues the CNO has been addressing. However, an E-4 with one dependent will be far down on the totem pole for base housing.
Living in town will be affordable with BAQ, etc. There are cheaper places in Norfolk but they probably wouldn’t be as safe as living in VA Beach or Chesapeake. Since Naval Operations Base (NOB) is the largest employer here, naturally the worse traffic is heading to/from the base. But if you’ve lived in LA or metro DC, it’s nothing. Nothing, however, compared to commuting through the Hampton Roads Bridge Tunnel (HRBT) on a daily basis. From the beach waterfront, to Gate 3 is about 22 miles, and usually can take 25-45 minutes on a normal day. Add 15-30 minutes with an accident or two.
The SSN stands for Saturdays, Sundays, and Nights. When I was riding a fast-attack, as a single guy, it was fun and exciting (however the hectic schedule put a lot of strain on the married folks). One year we spent 250+ days at sea with two back-to-back Northern runs (40+) each. With the Cold War history, I don’t know how much time our boats are at sea, “training”. As an E-4, unless a nuke, you’re gonna crank, for up to 90 days. This could depend how badly your division needs you and how well you take to it. (Ie, the more you hate, the more time you’re gonna end up doing) The first nine months on board are pretty much gonna suck, because while you’re not cranking, or learning your job, or qualifying for watches or standing a watch, you’re going to be qualifying on the boat (sleep is optional). If you take longer, it get’s tougher. Once you get qualified in submarines, life is gravy.
The two most important people to you will be your division chief and the Chief Of the Boat (COB). Make those two guys happy and you will have a long and enjoyable career.
Since this is a Navy town, it’s pretty easy for the spouse to get a job, however, because of the transient nature of the job, wages are artificially depressed here.
Well that’s a nutshell, I’d better perpetrate some work.