Ways to screw-up a job interview

[kittenblue]

My boss did five interviews today. I did the reference checks. Here is my list of things not to do on an interview.

1. Show up in jeans and a college sweatshirt for a job that requires business casual.

2. Bring your boyfriend along.

3. Bring your kids along.

4. Bring your sister along, and have her circling the area.

5. Call to schedule the interview and complain that no one ever tells you at the interview whether you are hired, they say "we'll get back to you". Complain that no one wants to hire you because you have three kids and can't work weekends. Then tell my boss, "Okay, this is how the interview will go: I'll get there, and you'll tell me all about the job...." (She didn't hear the sarcasm when my boss replied "Really? Is that how the interview is going to go?")

6. Have an email address that references the fact that you are a Star Trek/Voyager fan. It's yahoo, for gosh sakes. Get a free one just for job stuff that at least sounds professional and grownup, "3of6" (it was longer than that, and definitely Trek related)

7. Give us, as a reference, your previous boss who is very mad at you because you just quit without notice during a very busy week when she was already short-staffed.

Got any others?

[Silver Fire]

I was interviewing for a telemarketing position (shut up) and the woman asked me why I'd left a previous job.

I said something about it being repetative and lame (not those words, obviously), and how I didn't like doing the same thing over and over an... whoops! Forgot what I was interviewing for, for a second there. I guess it's no wonder I didn't get the job. Oh well, it probably would've been awful anyway.

[Keapon Laffin]

Hey! Whats wrong with number 6? I'm a Trekkie fan.

Some other things you shouldn't do:

1) Talk back to the voices in your head. (You should wait until you get the job first)

2) Compliment the female interviewer on the size of her... umm... assets.

3) Show off your juggling skills with paperweights on the desk.

4) Show off your interesting birthmark.

[LordVor]

From the last round of interviews I was part of:

Claim that, while working for company A, you coded a subsystem that was actually coded by person B before you were even hired by company A. Especially if person B moved on to the company that you're interviewing with. And is, in fact, on the interview team.

-lv

[JoeSki]

My email address isn't a Star Trek reference, but it isn't professional either. why should I be shot down for a job just because of the name of my email address? I don't want to create a new one, because then I'll have to maintain it, check up on it every now and then so the account isn't deleted, and if I ever forget about it I could miss an important message. Why add an extra hassle to your life?

[danceswithcats]

My favorite was the folks who didn't know if we made foam containers for hamburgers or nuclear warheads. Know how to intelligently answer, Tell me why you'd like to work for Widgetron LLC.

Don't ask for a writing instrument. Have the foresight to bring your own damned pen.

Hygiene, people. Fool me into thinking you own a bar of soap, a fingernail brush, and have used them since the Reagan administration.

Prior proper planning prevents piss poor performance. -Emeril Lagasse

[Cisco]

Originally Posted by JoeSki

My email address isn't a Star Trek reference, but it isn't professional either. why should I be shot down for a job just because of the name of my email address? I don't want to create a new one, because then I'll have to maintain it, check up on it every now and then so the account isn't deleted, and if I ever forget about it I could miss an important message. Why add an extra hassle to your life?

Why bother with a job at all?

[Mr.Niceguy]

1. Sleep in your interview clothes the night before.

2. Go to a bar before the interview and have a few gin and tonics.

3. Break wind.

4. Tell the interviewer that you really need this job to pay off some gambling debts.

5. If you are asked about hobbies, tell them you build pipe bombs for fun.

6. Pick your nose and wipe it on the chair you are sitting in.

[Keapon Laffin]

Originally Posted by Mr.Niceguy

3. Break wind.

And blame the interviewer for it.

[JoeSki]

Originally Posted by Cisco

Why bother with a job at all?

Because productivity is one of the major keys to happiness, as are the shelter and clothing that said productivity provides. Work is important, but it's not something I like to keep on my mind once I get home any more than I have to.

[Mr.Niceguy]

Originally Posted by Keapon Laffin

And blame the interviewer for it.

Loudly.

[dangergene]

Originally Posted by LordVor

...Claim that, while working for company A, you coded a subsystem that was actually coded by person B before you were even hired by company A. Especially if person B moved on to the company that you're interviewing with. And is, in fact, on the interview team.

I had a similar interviewee once.

He brought in a bunch of artwork that 'he' had done. Except it was artwork done by me! He had worked as a programmer coding my art into a project when worked together less than 6months earlier.

We had worked closely, there's no way he didn't know who I was, especially as we'd spoken before this interview and he was excited to be coming to see me!

He didn't bring the coded project. He didn't bring anything other than the illustrations that I had drawn (remember I said he was the programmer? Yeah... well, this was a graphic design job). He brought nothing of his own and made no convincing argument why he should be hired. Not even a plaintive, 'but we were friends'. Nothing.

I got an email from him a week later telling me he thought it was time for me to get a 'serious' job and that I needed to think about the future and maybe it was time for me to be more 'adult about life''.

I still don't know why he thought he'd get the job...

[picunurse]

1. Dress like you came directly from your other job at the strip club. Especially, when you know the the company is run by a conservative woman. Even if you're not meeting her that day.
2. Tell me about all your medical problems and about the L&I claim that kept you home for 4 months at your last job.
3. Complain about the receptionist giving you a TEST! Aptitude, indeed.
4. Wear as much perfume as humanly possible. See if you can cause an asthma attack in the next building.
5. By all means chew gum, show me your talent, blowing bubbles and making really loud snapping noises. I really like watching the spittle spray after the pop.

[Sublight]

While we may bear some responsibility for what happened, for the love of Og please don't do what this young man did. To this day, I don't what possessed him. Probably alcohol.

We interviewed an American for a writing/production position a while back. His qualifications looked ok, but his Japanese was a problem. On paper, he had good test certifications, but in action he got too nervous to use what he knew. He seemed nice, though, so when we told him we'd contact him shortly for a second interview, our president (whose English is fairly good with occasional bizarre lapses), trying to give him some encouragement, clapped him on the back and said "don't be afraid to expose yourself."

The next day we received his email, thanking us for the interview.

It had attached photos.

Of him.

Taking our president's advice.

Literally.

I guess it says something about our office that although he didn't get the job, this performance didn't automatically disqualify him.

[paulberserker]

Tell the interviewers you've been up all night, so this might not go so well, because your idiot sister got robbed by smackheads the night before and her keys and address we're in the bag, along with her mobile, and said theives kept ringing up all night.
They loved that when I did that.

Walk in the room and go "I know you're loving this shit right here!"

Be the kid that was a security guard at my previous job, coming in for a job in the art dept (graphic design of POS basically). He gave us a sketchbook with 3 different designs of the word LONDON, done in pencil, and a company internal application form acting as a CV.
'So, do you know Illustrator/Photoshop, or how we do vinyl cutting?'
'Nah, but i'll pick it up in a couple of weeks. I could start by doing the paintings instead actually, I used to paint in GCSE art'
(me and dept head look at each other) 'Well, I handle the illustration, so don't worry about that. We'll let you-'
(Interrupts me) So when do I start then? It's doing my head in being in security.

I'll leave you to guess whether he got the job, or whether we burst out laughing after he left the room.

Or a kid called ZORAN, who's response on being shown round and introduced to people in the dept was 'YES, the painting. I will do that. Ah, reDESIGNING the mezzanine floor, this seems SUBSTANDARD to me, when ZORAN starts, he will make changes.' before telling us he would work there. but only for £5k more than everybody else was on due to his talents. His work examples were a parent directory of badly photoshopped pictures of himself, which were also piss poor hilarious.
He ended up working on the rock floor (this was Tower Records, while it was still alive) and reapplying for the art dept twice. He made a formal complaint because e wouldn't interview him, even after it clearly stated 'previous applicants need not apply'.

[Hypno-Toad]

Make it very clear to the interviewers that you view the job as a way to get lots of tail and/or converts.

Tell them you are a Seventh-Day Fremen and must have next Wednesday off to commemorate Muad-dib's journey into the desert to confront Shai-Hulud.

Write crib notes all over your limbs and check them thoroughly before answering any questions.

Greet the interviewers with, "Waddup, Bitch?"

Write derogatory notes about one of the interviewers. Pass them openly to the other interviewers.

Bring an attorney with you. Consult him after eash question.

Make sure all your responses are in the form of a question.

[Trunk]

Originally Posted by JoeSki

My email address isn't a Star Trek reference, but it isn't professional either. why should I be shot down for a job just because of the name of my email address? I don't want to create a new one, because then I'll have to maintain it, check up on it every now and then so the account isn't deleted, and if I ever forget about it I could miss an important message. Why add an extra hassle to your life?

There's nothing wrong with it in "No Job land".

This thread is about what to do at a job interview.

If you're at the interview you presumably want the job.

If you want the job, you won't have a Star Trek reference in your email address.

-----
You ever see "Bull Durham"?

Crash (the old vet) tells the new kid this.

Your shower shoes have fungus on 'em. You'll never get to the Bigs with fungus on your shower shoes. Think classy and you'll be classy. If you win 20 in the show you can let the fungus grow back on your shower shoes and the press'll think you're colorful. Until you win twenty in the Show, however, it means you're a slob.

Same thing with having a Star Trek email address.

[Annie-Xmas]

A guy I knew was living on unemployment and intended to do so for as long as he could. He was also very lactose intolerant.

An hour before any job interview, he would drink a quart of whole milk. By the time he got to the interview, the sounds and the smells would be unbelievable. If that wasn't enough, he always asked to use the bathroom, filled up the bowl, and didn't flush.

He was on unemployment for over a year before someone told the unemployment office exactly why he wasn't getting hired with all these job interviews.

[Shade]

2a. Bring your boyfriend(s) along.

[WhyNot]

Originally Posted by JoeSki

My email address isn't a Star Trek reference, but it isn't professional either. why should I be shot down for a job just because of the name of my email address? I don't want to create a new one, because then I'll have to maintain it, check up on it every now and then so the account isn't deleted, and if I ever forget about it I could miss an important message. Why add an extra hassle to your life?
...
Because productivity is one of the major keys to happiness, as are the shelter and clothing that said productivity provides. Work is important, but it's not something I like to keep on my mind once I get home any more than I have to.

An interview isn't about getting you a job. It's about the interviewer getting the best hire. I'm not going to hire someone who's not willing to work hard for me when there are plenty of applicants who will. Keeping a separate "business" email account isn't difficult, nor is it particularly time consuming. It's also simply a good idea, since most employers aren't thrilled with you checking your personal email at work. (This assumes a business who doesn't give you a business email; you can still use your more professional sounding one for your work.)

The way to interview is to convince your interviewer that this job will come first. You will eat, sleep and breathe WidgetsInc. You will not rest until WidgetsInc makes an IPO that puts Amazon.com to shame. You will sell your soul to Satan to increase market shares of WidgetsInc, and you'll see your kids at their graduation. Better yet, you won't ever have kids, because all your testosterone will be used up in service to WidgetsInc and you'll be an impotent, lonely man. But you're looking forward to impotence, because women are a distraction, taking up valuable time you could be working for WidgetsInc.

And the best way to get a job is to say all that at an interview and not sound like a syncophantic jerk.

[Mangetout]

Take a laundry marker and write something (it doesn't really matter what) on the face of your interviewer.

[Spectre of Pithecanthropus]

Originally Posted by JoeSki

My email address isn't a Star Trek reference, but it isn't professional either. why should I be shot down for a job just because of the name of my email address? I don't want to create a new one, because then I'll have to maintain it, check up on it every now and then so the account isn't deleted, and if I ever forget about it I could miss an important message. Why add an extra hassle to your life?

One way around this is by joining a professional society in your field. They usually have free forwarding addresses, so on your resume you can have something like "yourname@acm.org" or "yourname@ieee.org" but it actually gets forwarded to "yourname@frodolives.com" or whatever. But this solution will not work if you can't or won't spend the $75 or $100 annual dues.

[5que]

Not know the proper spelling of the software you're supposed to support.

[PunditLisa]

We just interviewed a woman to replace me in the role I am vacating. She was one of the most unprofessional people I have ever interviewed. Here are some of her answers:

"My technical skills? I may not know all the systems you use, but I'm a very quick learner. In fact, give me a few months and I'll probably be teaching you guys a thing or two about your system."

"Personal interests? I really like to shop. In fact, the father of my daughter and I are going to get married in a few months. But I've been going to Williams & Sonoma every week and registering for things there. I think I have 50 things on my registry, none of which I can afford on my own. And I don't even cook! I mean, I would have gotten married YEARS ago if I would have known how much fun registering is!"

"I have a associate's degree in accounting. I plan on getting my master's degree eventually but having this kid really sidelined my education."

Needless to say, SHE didn't get the job.

[Ponder Stibbons]

Originally Posted by JoeSki

My email address isn't a Star Trek reference, but it isn't professional either. why should I be shot down for a job just because of the name of my email address? I don't want to create a new one, because then I'll have to maintain it, check up on it every now and then so the account isn't deleted, and if I ever forget about it I could miss an important message. Why add an extra hassle to your life?

Geez, this has already been addressed a dozen times, but let me add the following.

There is nothing wrong with this approach if you are extremely skilled in an area of expertise that is in very high demand. If people are beating down your door to try to hire you, believe you me, it doesn't matter if your email is fuckyou@serialkiller.com, they'll be flooding your inbox.

However, if you are in the position of the remaining 99.99% of us, then what will happen is your resume will be in a pile with thousands of other resumes. The poor schlub who has to wade through all the crap has to have some way to filter out the obvious losers. And having an unprofessional-sounding email addy is almost certainly going to trigger that automatic filter.

[DeVena]

Never be rude to the secretary or cleaning crew. Or the person "minding" you before the interviewer is available.

My boss would send me to the front desk to lead the interviewees to his office. He wanted to know how they would react to my handicap and see how they would treat me. I've had people be openly hostile, rude, ask me for pain meds(!) or if the boss was cute or gay or married.

But best of all, when learning that she would be working with me, the raised eyebrows, slight sneer and flip of the hair. "Oh. Really." Oh yeah beeyotch. When can I start training you???? (Only a couple of women did this. One guy just looked at me and blinked. Didn't say another word to me.)

[Fuji Kitakyusho]

"So, if I understand you correctly, having sexual relations with the cleaning lady on my desk after hours... that sort of thing is frowned upon?"

[Roland Orzabal]

I used to be general manager of a local restaurant. One day, about a year ago, a guy came in and asked to speak the manager. I told him he was already doing so. He gave me a quizzical look (which I was willing to forgive; one does not often encounter 19-year-old GMs), but shook it off and asked me for an application. I gave him one, and he sat and filled it out, then handed it back to me. I looked over it -- a couple years' experience in restaurants, sophomore at the community college, seems nice enough, and we are short-handed at the moment -- and I decided to give him the interview on the spot.

So, I introduced myself, shook his hand, and said, "If you have time, I can go ahead and interview you for the position".

His response? "No, that's okay; when can I come back and talk to somebody important?"

I calmly took his application, thanked him for his time, and handed him a slip of paper with the owners' number on it. I told him he could contact them with any questions he might have, as they were my direct and sole superiors. He didn't say anything else, but the look on his face as he walked out the door left little doubt that he'd gotten the message. The application was sorted into the round file shortly thereafter.

[Mockingbird]

Originally Posted by Fuji Kitakyusho

"So, if I understand you correctly, having sexual relations with the cleaning lady on my desk after hours... that sort of thing is frowned upon?"

What about a three way with the cleaning lady and the hunky janitor?

If you're a good boss, I'll position the security cameras so you can watch.

[welby]

When I owned my business, and was in search of a technician for computer repair, I got the following wonders:


1. "Can I smoke a bowl at lunch?"

2. "Will you give me more money if I drive my own car?" (Instead of the company van. This from said pot-smoker above.)

3. On a resume: Proficient with SM Word, SM Excel, and all types of SM things.
Thanks, but I get my spankings at home.

4. Sometimes I just can't get up in the morning. Can I come to work at noon? Might have been okay, except that he was interviewing for the early shift tech support position.

5. I'm an expert in Windows 95, 98, and the soon to be released Windows 2000.
On the off chance he was on the development team, I talked to this guy. Turns out he'd read a bunch of stuff on the internet, which he felt made him an expert.

This was fun. I saved a bunch of the funniest resumes. Maybe I'll go digging through them and post a few more gems.

From the most recent interview committee I was on, hiring for a desktop support/network trbouleshooting postion:

1. When asked what his strengths were in networking technologies the interviewee just stared at the questioner. No words. Just stared. After about a minute, he said "Next Question."

2. The following exchange:

"I'm not all that good with Windows, but I'm great at Linux."

"Well, this is a Windows environment, and most of our users have pretty basic skills."

"Yeah? Then why did you hire them?"

"Well, most of the users are actually students at the school. We don't really hire them, if anything they hired us."

"Crazy, man. You ought to kick the dumb ones out."

3. "Please describe your experience configuring and troubleshooting DHCP"

"DHCP? Is that? Oh, I know! It's that setting thing in network neghborhood. I can set that man. I'd say my skills are good. Yeah. Really good."

[dwc1970]

Get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the interview. Best to go take care of your personal business before the interview. Even worse would be not getting up to go and desperately needing to go, and worse yet, if you waited until it was too late.

At the end of the interview, asking your potential employer, "Have you ever heard of Amway?" Either that, or hand him a copy of Watchtower, a Jack Chick tract, etc.

[chula]

Originally Posted by kittenblue

6. Have an email address that references the fact that you are a Star Trek/Voyager fan. It's yahoo, for gosh sakes. Get a free one just for job stuff that at least sounds professional and grownup, "3of6" (it was longer than that, and definitely Trek related)

I don't see why this should be such a big deal. It's a bit of a risk, because your potential employer might be very conservative, have no sense of humor, or have a pathological dislike of Star Trek fans. Which means you probably wouldn't have been happy working there anyway. I used a humorous email address on a resume once, and the interviewer laughed about it and thought it was very cool. And I was hired on the spot.

[Rysler]

Originally Posted by chula

I don't see why this should be such a big deal. It's a bit of a risk, because your potential employer might be very conservative, have no sense of humor, or have a pathological dislike of Star Trek fans. Which means you probably wouldn't have been happy working there anyway. I used a humorous email address on a resume once, and the interviewer laughed about it and thought it was very cool. And I was hired on the spot.

I have a bland, easy-to-spell email address for business. Once in the interview, I usually mention in the "personal interests" section that I'm a Trekker and attend annual conventions. This makes me seem quirky but non-offensive, and I suspect, has the added bonus of implying that I am competent enough to leave my house on occasion, but not so much of a life that I can't devote myself to my job because my social escapades would get in the way.

Which is true.

I've never had a problem getting a job, and this thread is starting to shed some light on why... Yeesh.

[Trunk]

Originally Posted by chula

I don't see why this should be such a big deal. It's a bit of a risk, because your potential employer might be very conservative, have no sense of humor, or have a pathological dislike of Star Trek fans. Which means you probably wouldn't have been happy working there anyway. I used a humorous email address on a resume once, and the interviewer laughed about it and thought it was very cool. And I was hired on the spot.

It's not about whether they're conservative or laid back.

At my job, for example, it's 95% laid back. You can joke, wear slobby clothes, etc. On your first day of work, you can come in looking like a bum.

But, the MOST important parts of the jobs require one to speak professionally, dress professionally, write professionally, and just come across professionally.

A job interview is your time to show that you are able to do this. If you don't wear a suit, don't shave, don't have a haircut, or indicate that your email address is TribbleLover@Tholian.Web then they just might think you're not mature enough to handle the professional responsibilities.

On the other hand, you're free to apply to every job in the world with that email address. Someone out there will probably hire you FASTER because of it. But, there's no question that you're narrowing your job search.

[Khadaji]

I have recently hired a new member of my team. Here are some tips based on my experiences in the past few years here:

Don't have your Mom call you in sick for the interview. If you are sick, call yourself in.

Don't ask if you can work from home some of the time. In today's economy, I had to fight to get a new hire. I want someone who is dedicated and excited. One cadidate told me that his home life was more important to him than his job and he would like to work from home half the week. Note that I don't want a slave. If you regularly work more than 40 hours for me, I'm managing wrong. But I DO want your 40. You may work well from home, but I'm not going to risk my career on that bet. I fought hard to get a chance to hire you, show me you want to work for me.

Never be late, but don't be too early. As a manager, I have several things going each day. I may have a meeting scheduled at 1:30 and if you are scheduled at 2:00 and show up at 1:00, then you have shown that you can't follow instructions.

If I give you some hints on what you'll hear in the interview, take it as an insider tip and use it. If I tell you that one of the members of the hiring committee is on the XXXX standards committee, do some research, find out about XXXX and mention it to him. It won't hurt and sure could help. (Out of 20 interviews, only one did this research.)

If it is a professional job, wear professional attire. Jeans at an interview is out.

This one is open to debate. Some might think that is shows initiative, others might think it is pushy. If you have received a schedule, it was meant as a courtesy, not written in stone. In a big business sometimes things change. If you were supposed to see me and then "Bob", but instead I take you to "Bill" don't take this time to tell me that I'm wrong and show me the schedule. I probably wrote the schedule. Unfortunately, sometimes "Bob" will have an emergency and "Bill" is free.

Show me as best that you can that you are excited about what I do. If you view work as a necessary evil, that comes through. Our top candidate was the top because he was genuinely interested. There were two others who where technically better, but it was pretty clear that they just wanted a job to hold them until retirement.

That's it. I hope it helps, but if not, well, it is free.

[Spectre of Pithecanthropus]

Originally Posted by Spectre of Pithecanthropus

One way around this is by joining a professional society in your field. They usually have free forwarding addresses, so on your resume you can have something like "yourname@acm.org" or "yourname@ieee.org" but it actually gets forwarded to "yourname@frodolives.com" or whatever. But this solution will not work if you can't or won't spend the $75 or $100 annual dues.

Having said this, though, I object to the idea that people should be judged by their email addresses, especially if they have limited resources and can't afford to follow the suggestion above. If that's really going to stand in the way of you getting a particular job, then maybe you don't really want that job anyway. It's your personal, recreational email, after all. You shouldn't have to have something like "your.name@OnlyEverThinksAboutBusinessAndWearsDockersAndATieEvenOnSaturdayMorning.com"

[Rysler]

Originally Posted by Khadaji

If you have received a schedule, it was meant as a courtesy, not written in stone. In a big business sometimes things change. If you were supposed to see me and then "Bob", but instead I take you to "Bill" don't take this time to tell me that I'm wrong and show me the schedule. I probably wrote the schedule. Unfortunately, sometimes "Bob" will have an emergency and "Bill" is free.

That indicates to me that the schedule-writer is incompetent and sloppy and the person who responds "Do what I tell you, not what you're expected to do based on the materials/description!" is disorganized and has poor managerial skills. I may be projecting my current work experience.

[Khadaji]

Originally Posted by Rysler

That indicates to me that the schedule-writer is incompetent and sloppy and the person who responds "Do what I tell you, not what you're expected to do based on the materials/description!" is disorganized and has poor managerial skills. I may be projecting my current work experience.

You are lucky to have the luxury of no surprises in a day. Anyone of my people, including my boss, can be called unexpectedly to help troubleshoot a problem. If so, we move the schedule around to accommodate. Your response makes me think, "This person is too rigid and will not deal well with surprises." It would send the message that you lack the ability to handle any but the most well-defined tasks and would need constant monitoring in case things fall outside of your comfort zone. (I am definitely projecting my work experience, a person who can't adjust wouldn't last long in our group, we have too much going on.)

[Batsinma Belfry]

Show up with purple pigeon poop in your hair. I thought I'd gotten it all out.

[zephyrine]

If you are a secondary school teacher applying for the position of Elementary School Principal within the same school , it might be an idea to walk across the campus one day before your interview and request a copy of the curriculum before displaying your ignorance of what is taught. Alternatively, you could take a look at the software program, piloted by the ES, which you claim to be an expert in, and just have a look at the curriculum on there. Replying to questions asked by the interviewing panel of ES teachers with the words: "You're the experts... I'd rely on the teachers for that... The teachers would have to help me out with that..." doesn't make anyone want you to be their boss.

[Sinusoidal Saurus]

My favorite: the guy who refused (politely) to shake my hand, telling me instead that his hands were "kind of sweaty." Okay, I can understand that, and thanks for being honest. After 2 or 3 minutes of initial conversation, he stopped talking, turned red, and then jumped up from the chair and sped out of the room. I figured it was nerves. 10 minutes later, I was still by myself. I'd moved on to the next candidate's file, when sweaty palms came back in. He grinned a huge cheesy grin, said "Sorry, nervous stomach!" and sat back down and continued with his answer to the question I'd asked 10 minutes before!

I understand that people like to pad their resumes a bit, and I've come to expect it. But please, please, don't list the category of "Volunteer Experience," and then add the single entry "Voluntarily donated blood at the American Red Cross." Your resume will be passed around the office for months.

Maisy

[Ghanima]

Well, around here, having a "funny" email address will probably not affect whether or not I call you back for an interview. But if your email address is something like tequilaguzzler@gun-nuts.com (yes I did have an applicant with an email address that suggested they were a heavy drinker) then that will definitely get noticed. I don't need a tequila guzzler working with me, thanks.


I also love this one. Keep in mind this is for a Quality Assurance/Quality Control job, which absolutely requires attention to detail. Here's a perfect example:

Skills: Ability to working great attention to to detail.

YEAH.
OK.
NEXT.

[Yeticus Rex]

How about "Things Not To Do Before An Interview":

1. Be a no-show at the interview and call to argue (a week later) that it was the interviewer's fault for not writing the correct date and time down.

2.
Applicant: Can I stop by and pick up an application?
Me: No, we mail them to you since our location is very busy.
A: Why can't I just come by and fill out the application in my car?
Me: We would rather mail it to every job applicant so there are no issues of discrimination, and the applicant can take time to carefully fill out the application and mail it back.
A: That's a horrible way to run a business. You guys should just pass them out.
Me: It would be a great waste of applications since we have many requirements for the job.
A: I'm qualified for the job, but you guys aren't doing it right.
ME: We are doing it right. I already know that I'm saving one application, one postage stamp, one envelope, 82 dollars on fingerprinting and DOJ background checks, 50 dollars on range of motion tests, 65 dollars on back X-rays, and 1.5 hours of my interview's time, and a whole load of issues you would be bringing to my table IF I had even considered you to work for me.......all this with just a 2 minute phone call!.......Good Day.<click>

[msmith537]

Originally Posted by JoeSki

why should I be shot down for a job just because of the name of my email address? I don't want to create a new one, because then I'll have to maintain it, check up on it every now and then so the account isn't deleted, and if I ever forget about it I could miss an important message. Why add an extra hassle to your life?

Originally Posted by Spectre of Pithecanthropus

Having said this, though, I object to the idea that people should be judged by their email addresses, especially if they have limited resources and can't afford to follow the suggestion above. If that's really going to stand in the way of you getting a particular job, then maybe you don't really want that job anyway. It's your personal, recreational email, after all. You shouldn't have to have something like "your.name@OnlyEverThinksAboutBusinessAndWearsDockersAndATieEvenOnSaturdayMorning.com"

Hey too damn bad for both of you! The hiring manager is looking for someone who will be professional and take their job seriously. If all he knows of you is your resume and one of you has "assman69@supersexmachine.com" or some such nonsense he is going to take one look and toss it in the garbage. And he would be absolutely correct to do so. In just one post both of you have sent a message - "I think that the normal rules of etiquette for the hiring process don't apply to me so I am going to do as I please". Why would someone want to bring that into their company?

A new Yahoo! account costs you five minutes of your time to set up. Just use some variation of your name and save the clever emails for trading porn with your friends.


That basically goes for anything of that nature:
-goofy emails
-cute phone number mnemonics (i.e. (555) Kickass)
-loud or gimicky ties
-excessive jewelry

The goal is not to distract the interviewer with how clever or creative you are.

[overlyverbose]

Talk to me about your gynecologist's exam. No really. I'd love to hear all about your pap smear. Wow, they warmed the speculum for you? That's great. Anyway, what sort of marketing experience do you have?

[Furry Mongoose]

I once told an interviewer that I bullied younger members of staff into making them harder...

I didn't actually bully anyone.. it was playful banter... and I know!

[kittenblue]

In fact, a few months ago there was a comic strip that covered this...maybe Non Sequiter....about graduating college and looking for a job in the real world, and maybe it's time to drop the "hotnastygrrl@aol.com" email address. That's why I laughed so hard when I saw this girl's email address, and I like Star Trek! Of course, my store doesn't have email capability, so I don't think the boss noticed it at all.

Then there was the guy who phoned us at least once a week for MONTHS asking when we would be interviewing, hiring, etc. Turns out he was also calling one of our other stores too. That manger actually decided to interview him. He never showed up for the interview. Neither store heard from him again, until this week. He has started calling again, at least our store. We're trying to figure out how to tell him we know about his being a no-show, and that he should really concentrate on some other company.

[Spectre of Pithecanthropus]

Originally Posted by msmith537

If all he knows of you is your resume and one of you has "assman69@supersexmachine.com" or some such nonsense he is going to take one look and toss it in the garbage.

Well sure, but the example above, and the one that Ghanima gave, are examples of poor taste, and would be poor taste in most other contexts besides on a resume. The person using such an email address is likely to be a jerk, a drunk, or otherwise a lout and therefore undesirable on those points, rather than because of the email.

But just having an address that is a vague or not so vague reference to Star Trek, or LOTR, or your favorite band (in some cases)--to me, that would just be a big "meh". It's not the sort of thing I would do myself, partly because I got a hotmail account long ago that's my actual name. But I don't care one way or the other if someone else does. If I were interviewing people for a position, I hope I'd remain more focused on the essentials of the job and whether the person would be a good fit. The person whose address is "his.name@rivendell.com" might be the perfect person for the job, especially if he observed all the other rules of interview etiquette...dressed appropriately, did his corporate research homework, knew the technology required, and so on.

Indeed, the way people in this thread have jumped all over Star Trek makes me think it's just more of the interviewer just not wanting to hire so called geeks, and assuming that anyone expressing an interest in ST is presumably a geek.

[Podkayne]

Originally Posted by Keapon Laffin

4) Show off your interesting birthmark.

Even if it's in the shape of the company's logo?


I am the Chosen One!

[JayElle]

I don't interview candidates, but as a manager I do get to see the applications for our retail sales positions. If you really, really, don't want to even get to the interview stage, you should use the following examples for inspiration when filling out your application:

- Current/Previous Employer - "Cant remember." The applicant listed working at the unnamed place 6 months ago, but she can't remember the name of the business.

- Reason for Leaving Previous Employment - "Too fast paced work." And you're applying for a retail job?

- Reason for Leaving Previous Employment - "Honerable discharge due to lack of evidence." Don't really want to know.

- Previous Job Duties - "clean elderly" Reason for Leaving - "not happy"

- Reason for Leaving Previous Employment - "manager didn't like me" But you're betting we will?

- Availability - "Monday 10-12. Can't work weekend." Our ad explicitly stated that we were hiring afternoon and weekend shifts. Why are you applying?