Lesbian Couples

[lilypad]

A friend has suggested that I try to get some personal feed back on
a controversial topic. I am interested in the specific concerns
Lesbians would bring to counseling and societal views of Lesbian couples
adopting children. This is not your average coffee room conversation, so I
ventured into the Yahoo lesbian chat room in an attempt to start a
conversation with a member, however, I was not able to gain any insight. What people do in chat room (lesbian or otherwise) is a whole new topic. Anyway, I do not know any openly homosexual couples to ask. So, I turn to the board, and hope that I will get some responses that might assist me in my quest. Perhaps websites that may assist, or even an online chat partner that could answer a few questions about there level of Cultural identity and development as it relates to gay couple. I hope that there might be someone willing to educate a naive. straight gal.

[matt_mcl]

You may want to suggest that a moderator move this thread to IMHO or Great Debates. The BBQ Pit is usually used for arguments and venting rather than serious inquiries.

If I have it right, your question is, what concerns do lesbian couples hope that adoption counsellors would take into account when counselling them on adopting children. Is that correct?

[John_Kentzel-Griffin]

lilypad,

Welcome to the board. We don’t allow cross-posting (posting the same topic in more than one forum), so I’ve closed the thread you started in General Questions. As matt_mcl said, this is probably not Pit material. So, I’ll move this to Great Debates for you.

You might want to take time to read our forum descriptions.

DrMatrix - Moderator

[Miller]

Could you refine your OP a little bit? I’m not sure exactly what you’re looking for.

Also, as a general rule, don’t expect many of the people you meet in a lesbian chat room to actually be lesbians. Or women. Or older than fourteen. Just a little bit of free advice. Welcome to the boards.

[alice_in_wonderland]

I am interested in the specific concerns Lesbians would bring to ounseling and societal views of Lesbian couples adopting children.

This is probably going to be pretty tough to answer for the simple reason that lesbians, like every one else, all tend to have their own little quirks that send them into counseling - quirks that are probably not exclusive to lesbians.

That being said, I do know that lesbians tend to have the least relationship satisfaction, and their relationships tend to be shorter lived than either heterosexual couples, or gay couples. (18 months average vs about 3 years for the other two). Perhaps that would be an issue.

However, it could just be a by-product of women’s relationship styles - men tend to enter relationships faster and harder than women, and tend to be more reluctant to end things when they go wrong, so it’s possible that the lack of a male participant is naturally ending lesbian relationships earlier.

[matt_mcl]

@Miller

Also, as a general rule, don’t expect many of the people you meet in a lesbian chat room to actually be lesbians. Or women. Or older than fourteen.

Actually, my experience is that the denizens of lesbian chat rooms are often *extremely protective of their space, and anyone about whom there’s the slightest doubt will be kickbanned.

[lilypad]

@alice_in_wonderland

This is probably going to be pretty tough to answer for the simple reason that lesbians, like every one else, all tend to have their own little quirks that send them into counseling - quirks that are probably not exclusive to lesbians.

That being said, I do know that lesbians tend to have the least relationship satisfaction, and their relationships tend to be shorter lived than either heterosexual couples, or gay couples. (18 months average vs about 3 years for the other two). Perhaps that would be an issue.

However, it could just be a by-product of women’s relationship styles - men tend to enter relationships faster and harder than women, and tend to be more reluctant to end things when they go wrong, so it’s possible that the lack of a male participant is naturally ending lesbian relationships earlier.

This is what I am looking for - a starting point - thank you

[susan]

That being said, I do know that lesbians tend to have the least relationship satisfaction, and their relationships tend to be shorter lived than either heterosexual couples, or gay couples. (18 months average vs about 3 years for the other two). Perhaps that would be an issue.

Hi. Do you have a source for this? It’s not what I’ve seen in the social science research literature, where lesbians tend to have higher satisfaction (both relationships and sexual) and longer relationships. Thanks.

For some overviews of recent research on LGB people, go to www.apa.org. Use the search function by typing in “lesbian” as the search term. On the next screen specify that you want to search only The Monitor by toggling “books” and “journals” off. Type in “lesbian” as the search term.

[susan]

Sorry–I hit return too soon.

Here’s the list that comes up. These are linked on the site directly to the article:

New data on lesbian, gay and bisexual mental health
APA Monitor article (February 2002) summarizing recent research findings on lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals.

Family ties: Psychologists unite in support of their gay relatives
APA Monitor (Jun 00) article focuses on psychologists with homosexual or bisexual relatives who have formed a network to publicly show support for their family members in an effort to increase public sensitivities.

Federal initiative seeks to encourage more research on lesbian, gay and bisexual concerns
APA Monitor (Jul-Aug 2000) article highlights APA’s role in discussion with NIH for more research proposals which would focus on gay, lesbian, bisexual and adolescents – perhaps breaking stereotypes in the process.

A new generation of issues for LGBT clients
APA Monitor article (February 2002) on the cadre of psychological concerns that psychologists are seeing in their work with lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered clients.

Researchers develop workshops tailored to gay and lesbian couples
APA Monitor article (Apr 2001) looks at the development of workshops, using the findings from a 12-year study, geared toward helping gay or lesbian couples improve their relationships.

Degree of ‘outness’ key to social support for gays and lesbians
APA Monitor report on a recent study which found that gays and lesbians have high levels of satisfaction with their available social support and identify themselves as spiritual (April 2003).
In addition, I’m a lesbian psychologist with a practice that’s heavy on lesbian and bi women. I’m happy to answer questions based on clinical observations and my own experience.

[susan]

alice_,

While Gottman and Levenson found that relationship satisfaction and quality were about the same in straight, gay and lesbian couples, they also discovered that gay and lesbian couples are more upbeat in the face of conflict. They tend to use more affection and humor in a disagreement and are less likely to use hostile emotional tactics.

Source: http://www.apa.org/monitor/apr01/gaylesbian.html

Gottman is one of the US’s premier reasearchers on couples’ issues.

[lilypad]

@Shoshana

alice_,

Source: Researchers develop workshops tailored to gay and lesbian couples

Gottman is one of the US’s premier reasearchers on couples’ issues.

I did not know about the APA sight - I have been running through e-journal, but was not finding what I was looking for
The APA online is perfect - “Guidlines for Psychotherapy with Lesbian and Gay Bisexual client” - say’s it all .
Thank you so very much
I have printed off several souces
lily

[susan]

I’m glad it’s useful. Always happy to help.