In the last few months it’s really started to get to me when I am standing in a store looking at something and someone walks in front of me and does not FUCKING SAY EXCUSE ME.
The other day I was trying to choose a CD and I had three in my hand. I’m standing in front of the S section. Asshole clerk helping dipshit asshole woman find something sticks his hand in front of me, then his whole body, then his idiot customer. So now there is one skinny boy and one normal sized woman between me and the spot where I was about to put back 2 CDs but since he didn’t say excuse me I put 3 CDs on the floor and walked out of the store because when there is a space of 18 inches between a woman and a rack and you need to get in there for a sec YOU FUCKING SAY EXCUSE ME.
And you know what? It’s lots and lots of people who dont’ say it. When I went to Greece the very first phrase I learned was signomi because it bothered me so much that if I bumped into someone or had to pass in front of someone I didn’t know how to say “excuse me” in a way anyone could understand. Saying excuse me is important. It lets the other human beings know that they are not fucking invisible.
I’m mad. I’ve lost my tolerance. It’s rude and if you think you are too busy and important to say excuse me then you are WRONG! and there is no excuse for YOU!
Galhawad! This drives me fucking insane (short drive, but I digress). I agree with you, pokey… how hard can it possibly be to say ‘pardon me’, ‘excuse me’, ‘I beg your pardon’, etc.?
Are we so damned busy that we cannot spare a few freakin’ moments and a breath to be polite and excuse ourselves? Have we become so self-centered that we can’t possibly spare a thought for someone else?
I know this isn’t the end of the world, and it’s a small thing, but dammit… small things help make the world go 'round. Helps to make it a nicer place, too.
I’m usually so pleased that someone’s taken the time to be polite that I can’t help but respond with a cheery “No problem!”, or something along those lines.
Me: [Tap on shoulder]“Excuse me, please, I need to get through.”
Me: [Hand on shoulder, gently pushes aside]
Obstacle: What the hell you pushing me for? Geez!
this happens regularly. I always try with the ‘excuse me,’ though, at least twice.
Unless it’s a backpack strapped to a back on a public transit vehicle. Backpacks never hear me say excuse me or feel gentle nudges. They get manhandled out of my way.
I get this problem a lot in bookstores and music stores. It pisses me off to no end.
Although I do have one stance, if the aisles are narrow and someone is blocking up the 3/4s of the aisle with a shopping cart and his/her body then I will walk in front of them and sternly refuse to say excuse me or acknowledge them in any way because IMO they are being rude from the get go there.
Although, to be fair, people are often more polite than you’d think. And it’s often not the folks you think either. I’ve had sweet-looking old ladies elbow me aside when it’s their stop without a word while big sullen guys in full gangsta garb will stand up for said old ladies and chirp “Excuse me!” if you’re in their way. It’s funny.
But such words are, as I’ve heard it said, “The lubricant of social intercourse”. Some people like it rough.
Agreed. A Chicago native, I find myself saying, “excuse me [let me through]” much more often down here. People from down here often “hate the city” because up there people just say “Excuse ME!!!” and barge past.
I prefer the city. I don’t enjoy waiting politely behind slow assed idiots.
I would be sorely tempted, and might even respond to the person with “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were deaf, and that this was the reason you didn’t hear me the first two times.” without the least hint of sarcasm audible, just gentle sincerity. This might cause the person to pay attention to such social cues in the future, out of pride.
Maybe you speak too softly, and it doesn’t register to them? Maybe you need to project your voice a bit so they have no choice but to process your words? I used to speak too softly for most people to notice as well. It probably doesn’t need to be much louder, just somewhat. More, you probably need to use your diaphragm a bit to ensure your voice carries, while speaking a bit louder so it will be heard. It will take a bit of getting used to, at first you will feel odd doing it. Practice amongst family and friends, who will forgive you more easily if you do indeed come out sounding like a drill seargant at first.
What’s worse in my opinion (and not saying such a non-exerting pleasantry as “excuse me” is pretty bad) is when someone wishes to pass, and they say “Excuse you”.
I do that. When somebody pushes past me, and there is contact - if they don’t say ‘excuse me’, I’ll say ‘excuse you’. It lets them know that they are being a jerk. I also say ‘your welcome’ if I go out of my way to hold open a door and get no acknowledgement.
And let’s not forget “please”! I can’t stand people who don’t say excuse me–who are they, the Queen? Even she wouldn’t get away with in my book. (I’m not even British!)
People are rude and it is all about them–I am resigned to it. Actually, having that mindset has freed me to appreciate the good manners that I do run across.
The one that still gets me is the older guy who lets the door slam in your face…I hold doors for older folks, for women with small children etc–fuck the old guys who (I swear) let the door go ON PURPOSE. When I get thru the door, I make a point to say, “thank you” to them. Bastards.
See, I tend to be one who lives by the golden rule, until pushed that is.
I ALWAYS say “Excuse Me” and aknowledge when others say it to me, I think that is the appropriate thing to do. If they don’t I give them one more chance. If I encounter them again and they continue to be rude, then I get mouthy.
On Christmas Eve, I was headed to Hallmark to pick up cards and giftbags. Because of the crazy weather, there was about 3 inches of compacted snow and ice on the parking lot. This lady was pushing a grocery cart out to her car and got it stuck. I went over to her and helped her get it unstuck. When I accomplished that (which I think is a pretty nice thing to do anyways), it sounded like it was going to kill her to say “thank you”. She muttered it uncaringly under her breath and didn’t even make eye contact with me, she didn’t sound shy, just annoyed with me. If she had at least taken two seconds to look at me, she would know I’m harmless. There’s was nothing I could say though, she DID say “thank you”.
I always say excuse me, but I’ve noticed something funny. Ardred will say “pardon us” when the two of us go through, but I’ll say “excuse me”. I never remember to include him.
