WTF kind of person would do this to his girlfriend??

[Agent Foxtrot]

Here's an email I recieved from Ernie at Ernie's House of Whoopass!. I'm on his mailing list to get emailed jokes. Most of his stuff is pretty tasteless, but I think his most recent email deserves a good pitting. Read on:

Originally Posted by Ernie

I had a date the other night at my place. On the phone the day before, the girl asked me to "Cook her something she's never had before" for dinner.

After many minutes of scratching my head over what to make, I finally settled on something she has DEFINITELY never eaten.

I got out my trusty case of MRE's. Meal, Ready-to-Eat. Field rations that when eaten in their entirety contain 3000+ calories. Here's what I made:

I took three of the Ham Slices out of their plastic packets, took out three of the Pork Chops, three packets of Chicken-a-la-King, and eight packets of dehydrated butter noodles and some dehydrated/rehydrated rice. I cooked the Ham Slices and Pork Chops in one pan, sautéed in shaved garlic and olive oil.

In another pot, I blended the Chicken a-la-king, noodles, and rice together to make a sort of mush that looked suspiciously like succotash. I added some spices, and blended everything together in a glass pan that I then cooked in the oven for about 35 minutes at 450 degrees.

When I took it out, it looked like, well, ham slices, pork chops, and a bed of yellow poop. I covered the tops of the meat in the MRE cheese (kinda like

Velveeta) and added some green sprinkly thingys from one of my spice cans (hey, if it's got green sprinkly thingys on it, it looks fancy right?)

For dessert, I took four MRE Pound Cakes, mashed 'em up, added five packets of cocoa powder, powdered coffee cream, and some water. I heated it up and stirred it until it looked like a sort of chunky gelatinous organism, and I sprinkled powdered sugar on top of it.

Voila--Ranger Pudding.

For alcoholic drinks, I took the rest of my bottle of Military Special Vodka (yes, they DO make a type of liquor named "Military Special"--it sells for $4.35 per fifth) and mixed in four packets of "Electrolytes - 1 each - Cherry flavored" (I swear, the packet says that). It looked like an eerie kool-aid with sparkles in it (that was the electrolytes I guess... could've been leftover sand from Egypt).

I lit two candles, put a vase of wildflowers in the middle, and set the table with my best set of Ralph Lauren Academy-series China (that shit is fucking EXPENSIVE... my set of 8 place settings cost me over $600), and put the alcoholic drink in a crystal wine decanter.

She came over, and I had some appetizers already made, of MRE spaghetti-with-meatballs, set in small cups. She saw the dinner, saw the food, and said "This looks INCREDIBLE!!!"

We dug in, and she was loving the food. Throughout the meal, she kept asking me how long it took me to make it, and kept remarking that I obviously knew a thing or two about cooking fine meals. She kind of balked at the makeshift "wine" I had set out, but after she tried it I guess she liked it because she drank four glasses
during dinner.

At the end of the main course, when I served the dessert, she squealed with delight at the "Chocolate mousse" I had made. Huh? Chocolate what? Okay... yeah... it's Chocolate Moose. Took me HOURS to make... yup.

Later on, as we were watching a movie, she excused herself to use my restroom. While she was in there, I heard her say softly to herself "uh oh" and a resounding but petite fart punctuated her utterance of dismay.

Let the games begin.
She sprayed about half a can of air freshener (Air Freshener, 1 each, Orange scent. Yup. The Army even makes smellgood) and returned to the couch, this time with an obvious pained look.

After 10 more minutes she excused herself again, and retreated to the bathroom for the second time. I could hear her say "What the hell is WRONG with me???," as she again send flatulent shockwaves into the porcelain bowl.

This time, they sounded kinda wet, and I heard the toilet paper roll being employed, and again, LOTS more air freshener.

Back to the couch. She smiles meekly as she decides to sit on the chair instead of next to me. She sits on my chair, knees pulled up to her chest, kind of rocking back and forth slightly. Suddenly, without a word, she ROCKETED up and FLEW to the bathroom, slammed the door, and didn't come out for 30 minutes.

I turned the movie up because I didn't want her to hear me laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my cheeks.

She came out with a slightly gray pallor to her face, and said "I am SOOOOOO sorry. I have NO idea what is wrong with me. I am so embarrassed, I can't believe I keep running to your bathroom!!" I gave her an Imodium AD, and she finally settled down and relaxed.

Later on, she asked me again what I had made for dinner, because she had enjoyed it so much. I calmly took her into the kitchen and showed her all the used MRE bags and packets in the trash can.

After explaining to her that she had eaten roughly 9,000 calories of "Army food" she turned stark white, looked at me incredulously, and said "I ate 9,000 calories or dehydrated food that was made 3 years ago?" After I concurred, she grabbed her coat and keys, and took off without a word.

She called me yesterday. Seems she couldn't shit for 3 days, and when she finally did, the smell was so bad, her roommate could smell it from down the hall. She also told me she had been working out nonstop to combat the high caloric intake, and that she never wanted me to cook dinner for her again, unless she was PERSONALLY there to inspect the food beforehand.

It was a fun date. She laughed about it eventually, and said that that was the first time she'd ever crapped in a guy's house on a date. She'd been so upset by it she was in tears in the bathroom while I had been in tears on the couch.

I know, I'm an asshole, but it was still a funny night.

What the fuck kind of asshole fucks with someone like this, especially to someone they're supposed to care about? I wouldn't have done this shit to my worst enemy. You think it's funny fucking with someone's stomach like this? This email wasn't funny, Ernie. It was extremely disturbing.

Who knows, though. Maybe I'm overreacting.

Adam

[Scarlett67]

Originally Posted by Agent Foxtrot

Maybe I'm overreacting.

No. You're not.

[Ilsa_Lund]

It was funny as hell right up until the part where he didn't let on after the first bite.

[norinew]

Well, he's right about being an asshole. Thinking it's so damned funny just punctuates that assessment. What a :wally

[Gfab912]

***Wiping the tears away*** That's fucked up! (Bah ha ha!) Ok, on the serious side, what the hell was this guy thinking? If someone did that shit to me, they have a little struggle getting my foot out their ass! Food and family are the two taboo subjects to be fucked with. This guy deserves an ass-kicking... but then again, she still likes him enough to consider being with him so I guess she's just as fucked up.

[Diogenes the Cynic]

The guy has serious hate issues with women.

[HMS Irruncible]

Originally Posted by Gfab912

***Wiping the tears away*** That's fucked up! (Bah ha ha!) Ok, on the serious side, what the hell was this guy thinking? If someone did that shit to me, they have a little struggle getting my foot out their ass! Food and family are the two taboo subjects to be fucked with. This guy deserves an ass-kicking... but then again, she still likes him enough to consider being with him so I guess she's just as fucked up.

As I'm reading this, it doesn't look like he intentionally added anything to cause her intestinal distress. I am also gleaning that he's an Army Ranger and eats these meals as a matter of routine without the benefit of seasonings and improvements. Among field personnel is considered a fine art to be able to find ways to improve the palatability of MRE's by finding novel ways to combine and prepare the ingredients. Rangers are odd guys. They also eat snakes.

Loving a Ranger definitely isn't for everyone, but women who date Rangers are fuly aware of what they are. They find them amusing or endearing, and accept their oddities.

[catsix]

Wow. Maybe a Ranger is for me.

If I were her I'd rather know they were MREs first, but it's not as though he fed her anything that was deliberately harmful.

An MRE, even mixed with another MRE, is edible. Soldiers stuck with no access to other food live on them, after all.

It's not like he cooked her dogshit souffle. He cooked something that was designed to be treated as food.

[Diogenes the Cynic]

Why should we think he's a Ranger? Any jack off can buy MRE's.

Wow, Catsix, I never saw anyone who hated her own gender as much as you do.

[Hunter Hawk]

Laughing at another person's intestinal distress isn't too cool, but I think the "MRE cuisine" idea is pretty funny.

[Random]

Yeah, I'm not understanding why this guy's an asshole. He cooked an usual dinner, going to some trouble. She asked for something new, and he introduced her to something that qualified. MREs are food. We think they're good enough for our military.

She liked the food and complimented him. It appears that he the same things she did.

She had a bad reaction to something. It's not clear exactly what. There's no indication that he planned or even expected what occurred.

Yeah, his sense of humor seems a bit crude - most of us got over the farts = funny thing in fifth grade. Possible insensitivity aside, though, what did he do that was so evil?

[Diogenes the Cynic]

Is it funny when a person you care about gets sick?

The guy's a fucking asshole misogynist dickhead.

[catsix]

Diogenes said:
Wow, Catsix, I never saw anyone who hated her own gender as much as you do.

I think MRE cuisine is funny, partially because I have eaten MREs before.

I also don't think that cooking them up is a malicious act, since they are actually food. It's in no way clear that he intended her any kind of harm by cooking something that is designed and intended to be eaten for her to eat.

What the fuck does that have to do with hating a gender?

[Random]

Originally Posted by Diogenes the Cynic

Why should we think he's a Ranger? Any jack off can buy MRE's..

It's fairly strongly implied -

Voila--Ranger Pudding.

Originally Posted by Diogenes the Cynic

Wow, Catsix, I never saw anyone who hated her own gender as much as you do.

Good job, Dio. You cause me to question my low opinion of you (very, very slightly, mind) with a political post that I actually agree with (link below), and then immediately reassure me that you are the same kneejerk, combative, everyone-who-disagrees-with-me-is-evil moron that I'm used to seeing.


http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=301591

(If GWB were smart, he wouldn't spend his money on Republican journalist stooges. He'd pay people like you. It'd be a more efficient way to convince fence-sitters to vote Republican.)

[Diogenes the Cynic]

Originally Posted by catsix

I think MRE cuisine is funny, partially because I have eaten MREs before.

I also don't think that cooking them up is a malicious act, since they are actually food. It's in no way clear that he intended her any kind of harm by cooking something that is designed and intended to be eaten for her to eat.

What the fuck does that have to do with hating a gender?

The fact that you think there's something endearing about a prick who poisons his girlfriend as a "joke."

Also, your entire posting history is filled with hostility towards women.

[danceswithcats]

Originally Posted by Diogenes the Cynic

Why should we think he's a Ranger? Any jack off can buy MRE's.

Wow, Catsix, I never saw anyone who hated her own gender as much as you do.

You are a serious dickhead Dio. WTF in her post was indicative of hate?
You know, there are times to STFU, and you had no clue that that was one of them. :wally

[catsix]

Diogenes said:
The fact that you think there's something endearing about a prick who poisons his girlfriend as a "joke."

Poison? That's a pretty serious accusation considering that what the guy cooked was FOOD and it was, so far as I know, within its shelf life.

[Agent Foxtrot]

The question: What did he do that was so horrible.

Okay, first of all, he knowingly fed her nine thousand fucking calories of food! That's more calories than a normal person should eat in two days! If someone has self-esteem issues, especially with her weight, that could be devastating.

Second, who the fuck would laugh while someone is shitting their brains out in agony and crying because she's so humiliated? Defending him by saying he fed her regular human-grade food is like saying, "Here, eat these two boxes of Ex-Lax." Sure, it's meant to be consumed, but not in those quantities!

This guy is a complete and total fucker. And I agree with Diogenes. I think he has some issues with violent tendencies toward women.

Adam

[Jaade]

Originally Posted by Random

Yeah, I'm not understanding why this guy's an asshole. He cooked an usual dinner, going to some trouble. She asked for something new, and he introduced her to something that qualified. MREs are food. We think they're good enough for our military.

She liked the food and complimented him. It appears that he the same things she did.

She had a bad reaction to something. It's not clear exactly what. There's no indication that he planned or even expected what occurred.

Yeah, his sense of humor seems a bit crude - most of us got over the farts = funny thing in fifth grade. Possible insensitivity aside, though, what did he do that was so evil?

A lot of the military people don't think they're good enough for the military. As a girl who's dated several military men, I have asked, on occasion, if MREs really are as bad as I've heard, and if they'd let me try one. They all said no, they were horrible and I wouldn't want one.

Yes, they do try to mix the MREs at times to make them into more palatable meals. But they know what they are eating.

For the ones of you who think this is funny: Do you think it's humorous when people convince other people to try food without telling them what they are eating? I've never found that type of "joke" to be funny. 9000 calories? Are you kidding me? I'm sure she didn't eat that many but imagine how horrible she must have felt, based on the guy's description alone. A bout of illness followed by days of constipation?

If she forgave him, she's a better person than I am.

[catsix]

AgentFoxtrot said:
Okay, first of all, he knowingly fed her nine thousand fucking calories of food! That's more calories than a normal person should eat in two days! If someone has self-esteem issues, especially with her weight, that could be devastating.

And? Eating that many calories in a one-off event, if she did eat all of the food and he had none, is not really likely to cause any serious physical harm. He says 'We dug in.' Apparently she didn't eat 9000 calories of anything by herself. Did he have any reason to believe that sharing such a meal with her in a one-time affair would cause her harm? I doubt it.

Second, who the fuck would laugh while someone is shitting their brains out in agony and crying because she's so humiliated?

He found it humorous that she was embarassed about farting while she was shitting? Immature, but not misogynistic.

Defending him by saying he fed her regular human-grade food is like saying, "Here, eat these two boxes of Ex-Lax." Sure, it's meant to be consumed, but not in those quantities!

Considering the portion sizes and caloric contents of what a lot of people eat when they go out, including things like beer, wine, desserts, coffees that are loaded with cream, he didn't really go that far above the what people stuff themselves with. He fed her human grade food. MREs are designed and produced to be food for humans.

This guy is a complete and total fucker. And I agree with Diogenes. I think he has some issues with violent tendencies toward women.

Oh please. Nothing this guy did was in any way violent. At worst he was immature for laughing about the farts.

[catsix]

Jaade said:
A lot of the military people don't think they're good enough for the military. As a girl who's dated several military men, I have asked, on occasion, if MREs really are as bad as I've heard, and if they'd let me try one. They all said no, they were horrible and I wouldn't want one.

Considering that I've actually eaten a couple MREs before, I'll take my opinion of them over yours. I didn't find them to be that bad at all. Preferable to McDonald's, actually. And unlike McDonald's, they didn't exit my ass directly after entering my mouth.

I'm sure she didn't eat that many but imagine how horrible she must have felt, based on the guy's description alone. A bout of illness followed by days of constipation?

I wonder how much of that was due to the fact that she 'worked out nonstop' for three days? I wonder if she ate anything at all during the three days after that?

[UrbanChic]

Violent tendencies? Poison? Misogynist? What planet are you people on?

[Random]

Originally Posted by Agent Foxtrot

Second, who the fuck would laugh while someone is shitting their brains out in agony and crying because she's so humiliated?

This guy is a complete and total fucker. And I agree with Diogenes. I think he has some issues with violent tendencies toward women.

Adam

Gotta work on that reading comprehension, Adam. He didn't know she was crying. She told him that later. So he couldn't have been guilty of laughing at that, or even laughing at a time when he knew she was crying. Also, it's clear she had some intestinal distress and was embarrassed as a result. "In agony"? Not in the record. Same for "violent tendencies towards women".

Look, this guy's unsophisticated. He finds bathroom humor funny. He'd probably laugh his ass off if one of his (male) friends stepped in a pile of dogshit. I'm not about to fix him up with my sister, or invite him to my next party. But "violent" "asshole" "fucker"? Not seeing it.

[Diogenes the Cynic]

Originally Posted by UrbanChic

Violent tendencies? Poison? Misogynist? What planet are you people on?

The planet that doesn't hate women.

[Jaade]

Originally Posted by catsix

I wonder how much of that was due to the fact that she 'worked out nonstop' for three days? I wonder if she ate anything at all during the three days after that?

Maybe she has a very sensitive digestive system? Immodium AD is pretty potent. I've heard of others that had several days of constipation after using that particular medication.

[Random]

Originally Posted by Diogenes the Cynic

The planet that doesn't hate women.

Is that the one on the other side of the Sun, directly opposite Earth?

[UrbanChic]

The guy's an asshole. He didn't poison anyone. He didn't do anything violent. I don't see where he hates women. He's just an sophomoric asshole.

[TonyF]

Uh, I'm pretty sure it's impossible to unwittingly eat 9,000 calories in a sitting. That's the equivalent of eating over 2 pounds of butter for dinner.

He's an asshole for sure, but I wouldn't wish for more than a few days of light food poisoning for him.

[Revtim]

I also don't see how this is necessarily an anti-woman thing. He might be as big a prick to his male friends as well, as far as we know.

[Soul Brother Number Two]

I thought it was fuckin hilarious, but the guy is a callous asshole, and he obviously did this with malice aforethought. If you've read any of his website, ever, it would be obvious he is a juvenile misogynistic fucknugget.

But a funny one.

[MaddyStrut]

He sounds like an asshole to me. I don't know if I'd go so far as to say he had violent tendencies towards women. But asshole? Hell yeah.

Okay, maybe he's just an immature rube who enjoys bathroom humor and a few farts crack him up. But this?

Back to the couch. She smiles meekly as she decides to sit on the chair instead of next to me. She sits on my chair, knees pulled up to her chest, kind of rocking back and forth slightly. Suddenly, without a word, she ROCKETED up and FLEW to the bathroom, slammed the door, and didn't come out for 30 minutes.

I turned the movie up because I didn't want her to hear me laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my cheeks.

Who laughs when someone they care about is in such distress?

What's a normal daily calorie intack for an average sized woman? 1500 to 2000? This was just one meal. I assume she had lunch and maybe breakfast. Even if she didn't eat the whole thing, she probably had a hell of a shock to her system.

I actually thought the first part (preparing the MREs and trying to set an elegant table) was funny. It was his reaction to her that screams "asshole" to me.

[pepperlandgirl]

So what if he had made her a meal full of hidden sugar and she was a diabetic? What if he fed her a metric ton of dairy and she was lactose intolerant? What if he fed her shellfish and she was allergic? Would it be as humourous then? All the things result in extreme pain, if not death, and I don't see how they are very much different from what this asshole did. I know I would not be amused if my husband made me a dinner full of cream and cheese, or just regular milk, and then laughed and laughed as my insides liquified and left me moaning on the toilet for hours.

He knew it would make her uncomfortable. He knew 9000 calories is bad for a person. He knew it could potentially make her sick. That's why it was funny. He intentionally did something cruel to his girlfriend for a cheap laugh. That's despicable.

[catsix]

Maddy Strut said:
What's a normal daily calorie intack for an average sized woman? 1500 to 2000?

For people who don't eat out at restaurants with outrageous size portions, or fast food, or ever down an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's in one sitting or slurp a few Chanticos with some biscotti on the side ...

If she ate exactly half the calories he said, that's 4500. Considering normal calorie intake for a person is supposed to be around 2000 and many people go over that with the junk food snacks and other shit that gets eaten, she wasn't that far over a 'pig out' day.

[catsix]

pepperlandgirl said:
He knew it would make her uncomfortable.

Where's the evidence of that? He thought it'd be funny to make it for her because she specifically said to cook her something she never ate before, and MREs aren't exactly common food outside the military.

Nowhere does he ever say that he knew it'd make her uncomfortable physically.

[Savannah]

What a jerk.

Sitting there laughing, while someone is in distress that he's inflicted... There's a winner of a man.

And I'd be just as disgusted with the girl on the date if she did anything with him again.

[Soul Brother Number Two]

catsix, how many MREs did he use? A fucking shitload, way more than is normal for two people, especially if one is not in the field being a soldier and shit. Cmon now. He meant to fuck her up with that shit.

Ernie is an asshole. Say it with me. Ernie. is. an. asshole.

[Random]

Originally Posted by catsix

Where's the evidence of that? He thought it'd be funny to make it for her because she specifically said to cook her something she never ate before, and MREs aren't exactly common food outside the military.

Nowhere does he ever say that he knew it'd make her uncomfortable physically.

Agree. Read what's quoted in the OP, people. It's nice that you have strong social and political views, but you look like fools when you claim to see things that just aren't there.

[catsix]

I guess some people want to see a victim everywhere.

[Diogenes the Cynic]

Why did he keep giggling like a retard when he was talking about how many calories wew in that garbage he was cooking? (and MRE's are NOT food, trust me on that)

Even if he didn't intend to make her sick (which he clearly did) what kind of sadistic little fuck thinks it's funny for a person he supposedly cares about to be sick and in distress?

He did not at any time show any evidence of caring or warmth for the woman he poisoned. He's a mean little fuck

[aurelian]

Originally posted by pepperlandgirl:
He knew it would make her uncomfortable. He knew 9000 calories is bad for a person. He knew it could potentially make her sick. That's why it was funny. He intentionally did something cruel to his girlfriend for a cheap laugh. That's despicable.

Bears repeating. Because you do not put someone you care about (hell, even someone you don't care about) in harm's way. MRE's are notorious for not tasting that great - combined with the massive calorie bomb, he HAD to be aware that at BEST she would get somewhat indigested - and who would deliberately do that to someone they're dating?!?! I would have slapped him from here to Tuesday and walked out.

[MaddyStrut]

Originally Posted by catsix

For people who don't eat out at restaurants with outrageous size portions, or fast food, or ever down an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's in one sitting or slurp a few Chanticos with some biscotti on the side ...

If she ate exactly half the calories he said, that's 4500. Considering normal calorie intake for a person is supposed to be around 2000 and many people go over that with the junk food snacks and other shit that gets eaten, she wasn't that far over a 'pig out' day.

4500 calories may not be that far over a pig out day (I don't know; I refuse to count the calories I've had on my pig out days)--but this was one meal. Even if she normally eats more than 2000 in a day, 4500 is a hell of a lot for one meal. I can see that it wouldn't cause her any permanent damage, but it's enough to make someone feel like crap for a while.

Okay, maybe he didn't think of that and didn't realize it would do anything to cause her discomfort (a bit of a stretch). However, I still think he's an asshole for laughing while she was in physical pain. Many people have done something they think is funny only to realize it's hurt the other person. Normal people feel bad about that. They don't have to turn up the TV to cover their laughter.

[Guinastasia]

Question-these stories of his-did they actually happen?

It wasn't so much that he fed that to her-although he should have told her about it beforehand-but that he thought it was FUNNY that she got deathly ill from it. Explosive, severe diarrhea like that HURTS. I'd rather PUKE than have that kind of diarrhea. And like most people, I absolutely hate puking.

The idea of making a meal out of MREs is interesting. That it was 9,000 calories and such, he should have mentioned it to her, so maybe she could have known and eaten a bit less. The farting-yeah, that's funny. But when she got sick, he just gave her Amodium and casually mentioned, "Oh yeah, I fixed you a bunch of out of date army meals, which were about 9,000 calories!" No concern about it making her sick.

And it seems like he SET OUT to make her ill. Not that he just wanted to make something out of the ordinary, but that he wanted to trick her.

I don't know if he's a violent misogynist exactly, but he definitely sounds like an immature prick.

[Random]

Originally Posted by aurelian

Bears repeating.

Repetition does not make the statement true. As has already been said - there's nothing that shows that he knew that she'd react the way that she did. He prepared a meal for the two of them. He ate it, too.

I'm sure someone else will repeat the claim again. Still won't establish the point.

[Excalibre]

Originally Posted by UrbanChic

Violent tendencies? Poison? Misogynist? What planet are you people on?

Isn't there a theory that there's a tenth planet from the sun that occasionally knocks comets in Earth's direction?

Dude in the OP is obviously a total asshole, but yeah, I don't see the misogyny. I think Dio is just another person who has it in for catsix (of course, Dio has it in for just about everyone.)

[Diogenes the Cynic]

Originally Posted by Random

Repetition does not make the statement true. As has already been said - there's nothing that shows that he knew that she'd react the way that she did. He prepared a meal for the two of them. He ate it, too.

I'm sure someone else will repeat the claim again. Still won't establish the point.

Even if he did not know she would get sick, his reactions AFTER she got sick were callous and sadistic and not how a caring person would respond.

[Random]

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

And it seems like he SET OUT to make her ill.

Guess I was right. Again, basis for this conclusion?

Also, basis for "out of date"? (Yes, it appears that the MREs were 3 years old. It's my understanding they they have a shelf life of much more than this. That's kind of the whole point of an MRE.)

[Random]

Originally Posted by Diogenes the Cynic

Even if he did not know she would get sick, his reactions AFTER she got sick were callous and sadistic and not how a caring person would respond.

Not a "caring person"? Okay, I can buy this one. Guilty!

"Callous"? More of a stretch, but the other 11 of you think so, I won't stand in your way. Guilty on Count II!

"Sadistic"? Sorry, no can do. Unless I can change your mind (and that of the other angry ... people in this thread), I'm going to have to hang this jury.

[Guinastasia]

I said it SEEMS like. Why else wouldn't he have told her what was in it? Maybe I'm wrong, but that was just the feeling I got.

Either way, I much prefer Skippy Schwarz. Too bad he's engaged.

[Agent Foxtrot]

Catsix, why are you going so far out of your way to defend this steaming pile of sloth shit? You said 4500 calories, but a good point was made that this was probably not her first meal of the day. He could have seriously hurt her.

As a matter of fact, I find it interesting that so many women on the SDMB are coming to the defense of this ass-ratchet. He deserves to be enemized with 9,000 calories worth of MRE's.

Adam

[pepperlandgirl]

I'm honestly baffled that people think it's ok to fuck with other people's digestive systems, for any reason. I don't even know on what planet that's acceptable. Looking at his menu, would you want to sit down and eat that dinner? If not, why not? If yes, would you feed it to your family without them knowing the ingrediants? Would it be just as amusing if she was lactose intolerant so he decided to feed her dairy because that's something she probably hasn't had in a long time?