Gimme my dishwasher! (A Saga)

The BBQ Pit
1

Our dishwasher, in its sorry life, has ruined some of our favorite glasses, flooded the kitchen, and grown progressively more reluctant to clean anything dirtier than a cereal bowl. One day, we realized we were washing all the dishes before loading them. It was time, sadly, for Mr. Dishwasher to go to that great appliance warehouse in the sky.

The chosen new model has cool features, and lots of stainless steel. We’re stoked. We’re given paperwork and told that a separate company, Idiots With Wrenches, will be installing our dishwasher.

On Feb. 2, we hang up the balloons and throw our “Welcome Dishwasher Junior” party. Sadly, the festivities were premature, as our new addition didn’t get to come home to us that day. Sure, Genius Delivery Dude arrived on time, and removed the old Mr. D. However, Genius Delivery Dude then dropped Junior right down the back steps.

Yes. Our new machine was dead before it ever got to wash it’s first cake-on lasagna pan. It never knew the taste of fresh Cascade.

“Not to worry!” we’re assured. “We’ll just order a new one and have it here in no time. Should be about two weeks! In the mean time, I’m just going to leave this giant hole in your cabinets so your cats can crawl behind the cabinets, into the wall and chew on the insulation! Won’t that be great!”

Uh, no, Dude. Put the old one back. (And he did exactly that. Just put it back in the slot.)

Feb. 25, I call Idiots With Wrenches and talk to Clueless Phone Bot. She tells me that it’s been ordered, but is not in, and that someone will call me. Nope, don’t know how long. I demand that someone come out and hook my old dishwasher back into the water/electrical. We make the appointment for March 4.

It’s Genius Delivery Dude again! And he tells me that he threw the screws into my old dishwasher, and now they’re in the motor. It’ll never work again. And, he tells me that they may have lost my replacement Dishwasher Junior.

Every day I (or **PucksRaven, my roomie and co-sponsor in the adoption of Dishwasher Junior) talk to Clueless Phone Bot. Every day we leave message for Moron Manager who is “Handling Our Case”.

Me: “Hi Moron Manager. It’s Obsidian again. It’s Wednesday at 2 PM. I’m calling to find out the status of my dishwasher. Please call me at 555-1234, or my cell 555-5678. Please DO NOT call 555-9999 again. That is NOT a valid number for us.” . . .etc.

Today: “Hi, Clueless Phone Bot. This is Obsidian again.”
CPB: “Oh, hi! Moron’s not in the office right now.”
Me: “I’m getting really upset he’s not returning my calls. You keep saying someone will get back to me, and no one does.”
CPB: “It says here that he called you back yesterday at 4 PM at 555-9999, and the number was disconnected.”
Me: “THAT’S NOT MY PHONE NUMBER! I told YOU yesterday, AND several times before that it wasn’t my phone number.”
CPB: “555-9999 is the number we have for you. I can make a note of your new number and have someone call you back today.”

It’s the same conversation every day. Am I in the twilight zone?

AHHHGGGGRRRHH! You stupid pieces of shit! Give me my goddamn dishwasher! You destroyed my new one, you destroyed my old one, and I’m tired of washing dishes by hand! We have 10 people coming for dinner next weekend! It’s been almost two months.

I swear, I am going to hunt these people down and fill their office with used cat litter.

2

Any chance you can cancel your order and get Dishwasher Jr. from another store?

3

Actually, it’s called Silicon Heaven :smiley:

Seriously though, threats of the BBB can do wonders.

4

I like the names in this thead.

Particularly Idiots with Wrenches. Given some other real names like Student Movers, etc., this just doesn’t seem that far off from reality.

Good luck on getting that new dish-washer. If you need anything, give me a call, 303.555.9999.

5

thanks threemae you made me laugh my ass off. Oh, and the pit thread was funny too!

6

You’ve already paid for the new dishwasher but never rec’d it, right?

If you paid by credit card you may be able to get the charge reversed.

Then, go buy your dishwasher from another store. When the idiots at the original store call you or show up with your dishwasher just pretend like you don’t know what they’re talking about.

Obsidian? Nope, no one here by that name, sorry. Dishwasher? Don’t need one, just got a new one.

Here’s hoping that your dishpan hands go away very soon. Where’s Madge when you really need her?

7

Hooking up a new dishwasher is not hard if there was already one there.
I’d get a refund from them and get a new one. For spite, I’d leave the old one on their front door, but that’s just because I have a pickup truck and an excess of spite.

8

You have 60 days to do this. Call Clueless Phone Bot one more time, and tell her you want it installed and working within three days, or you’re putting the charge in dispute and going to Best Appliance Store in the World, where they serve you cookies and milk and massage your feet while scantily-clad store clerks of the gender of your choice roll the appliances in front of you as you relax in the recliner.

9

Was this a place that sounds like Western Apply Ants? House of Screwy? Or was it Fries?

The shame of this is that dishwashers are really easy to install. Usually just one nut, one plug, one hose clamp and two screws.

10

It looks like you have forgotten the same important step that Idiot with Wrench forgot.

Step 0: Don’t drop the dishwasher down the stairs.

11

Ah. Silly me for forgetting that “Hey dummy! This thing will break if you drop it down the stairs!” isn’t written on the box.

Just how clumsy were the Idiots with Wrenches? Most of the newer dishwashers I’ve met aren’t terribly heavy. Big and blocky, yes, but not 300-pound beasts like my TV. Now that’s a thing I was almost expecting Lumpish Oafs with Moving Blankets to drop when I moved.

If it’s attached to a kitchen sink, it does seem to attract stupidity. Every single thing attached to the kitchen sink im my new apartment broke and each item took its own excruciating series of work tickets and call-backs to get resolved.

We move in, and on Day Two or so realize that the dishwasher doesn’t pump itself empty at the end of the cycle. Standing water in the bottom plus heated dry equals sauna for dishes. Took them three times before they understood that we really meant it when we said they could come in to replace it when we weren’t home.

Disposer - we had water leaks under the sink. At first, we thought it was just something loose. Turns out, previous tenants must have tried to use Drano and it ate through the walls of the grind chamber. There was a ring of corroded pinholes all the way around. Nice guy comes out on Saturday morning but doesn’t know which end of a wrench to hold and leaves us without a usable sink for two hours while he finds the right whatsamahoozit.

Faucet. Leaks like crazy around the base of the spout. Call the office and they send someone who “tightened” it. The tightening lasted two days and is started leaking even worse, to the point of threatening to flood the countertops. Call them back and again, another tightening. Four days later, another interior sprinkler. This time, they replace the faucet with one removed from a vacant unit because they didn’t have any new ones on hand. Gah. At least this one doesn’t leak.

12

Sadly, more than 60 days have passed since the original purchase of the dishwasher.

PucksRaven actually spoke to Moron Manager today. Turns out he does exist! And here I thought maybe that voicemail box was just an electronic circular file.

Promised he’d have us a dishwasher early next week. Promised he’d call back in a couple of hours.

She called back at 5 PM-- they were closed.

I hate these people with the fire of a thousand suns.

13

Go in person. Browse around like you’re going to buy a dishwasher. Say you have some special circumstances that require you to talk to a manager.
:smiley:

[mother’s voice]Next time, don’t wait 60 days![/mv]

14

Better yet, go in person with a baseball bat. Browse around like you’re going to beat someone senseless. :eek:

Disclaimer: Although you’d feel much better if you did, that approach would probably get you arrested, but it’s still a good fantasy. :smiley:

15

I think you mispelled “order” as “purchase”. If they haven’t delivered it, the transaction is not complete. They can’t fail to deliver the product for two months and then say it’s been too long for you to cancel the order.

Call your credit card company and ask for their opinion. If they support you, you have leverage to apply against this company, or at least you can take money away from the incompetent boobs.