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#1
04-09-2005, 05:55 PM
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Records of fictional sports teams
Some time ago, there was a post about films we never see, such as the film Julia Roberts' character is making in "Notting Hill," or the various documentaries Paul Reiser's character made on "Mad About You."
Here's that link: Okay, I can't find it. I've been searching for 40 minutes and I can't find it. But it was there. On a similar but hopefully less transient note, I wanted to call for a compilation of histories and records of teams that do not exist, based on information supplied in films. These teams include: Washington Sentinels ("The Replacements") North Dallas Bulls ("North Dallas 40") Pittsburgh Pythons ("The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh") South Central Louisiana Mud Dogs ("The Waterboy") Texas State Armadillos ("Necessary Roughness") California Atoms ("Gus") Charlestown Chiefs ("Slapshot") Miami Sharks ("Any Given Sunday") And you can include the fictionalized Cleveland Indians ("Major League"), Anaheim Angels ("Angels in the Outfield") and the Mighty Ducks -- in that last case, the tail wagged the dog. The above incomplete list reflects my own football bias, so if anyone knows other made-up teams, bring 'em on (that would be the Rancho Carne Toros vs. the East Compton Clovers, am I right?). Also, if you want to throw in TV -- like the Minnesota State Screaming Eagles ("Coach"), the no-city-given Cougars ("Playmakers") or the recent short-lived New York Empires ("Clubhouse") -- that's fine with me. So, are there any film nerds -- er, buffs -- who have some of these films on video, who can compile a win-loss record, or any other fun facts? I know that the SCL Mud Dogs beat the Louisiana Cougers in the Bourbon Bowl (sorry if that's a spoiler), and the Miami Sharks played the Dallas Knights in the finals for the Championship Cup, but there's more info out there. Anybody want to help? 
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#6
04-09-2005, 08:09 PM
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Fortunately, I only know one anime sports team: the Shohoku High School Basketball team of Slam Dunk, which has suspicious parallels to the Jordan-era Chicago Bulls.
Shohoku was the champions of the Kanagawa (local turney) finals, but they didn't make it past the first round of the next tier up. (This seems to happen a lot in Shonen sports anime.) Further stats will have to await someone who's not as lazy as I am.
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#7
04-09-2005, 08:40 PM
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dotchan: You forgot the baseball teams of Inunabe High and Sarutama High. Granted, they only played in one episode, but it was one of the better ones.
Looks like I know what I'll be watching again tonight.
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#8
04-09-2005, 08:52 PM
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How about the records of the New York Knights from The Natural or the New York Mammoths from Bang the Drum Slowly. Not to mention that of The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars and Motor Kings.
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#10
04-10-2005, 11:40 AM
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Thanks for the contribution, silenus -- though we'd probably write the Armadillos' record as 1-11-1.
In fact, I think that film deserves credit for providing realistic goals and achievements for a bad team. Instead of going "worst to first" like in so many sports films, they just wanted to win ONE game, and/or beat their biggest rivals. How many directors, screenwriters and studio executives would allow their main characters to keep losing throughout the story? While we're on the subject, I think the hapless California Atoms of "Gus," -- you know, the film where the mule kicked field goals -- went from 0-14 to Super Bowl champs, beating the Michigan Mammoths. I don't know if they were undefeated, which would have put them in the history books alongside the '72 Dolphins. I think Gus may have been kidnapped or unable to play several games, so the Atoms actually lost a few. I'm sure Shula, Griese and Czonka broke out the champagne if/when the Atoms lost. More?
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#11
04-10-2005, 02:49 PM
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#12
04-10-2005, 03:00 PM
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The Bad News Bears...
After a terrible start they won enough to make the playoffs... how many games in a Little Leage season? 30? Let's say they went 19-11. They won something like 3 of their playoff games, but lost the final. I can't remember whether or not they won the games in Houston or Japan.
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#13
04-10-2005, 06:50 PM
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#14
04-10-2005, 07:07 PM
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Some snide little jerk who I hope got banned was the OP. 
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#15
04-10-2005, 07:09 PM
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Not quite the same thing, but the Durham Bulls were an on-again off-again low-level minor league team (folding and being restarted several times) until the making of Bull Durham, which "put them on the map" and resulted in them seeking and receiving an International League AAA franchise. http://www.durhambulls.com/team/history.html?1940-1988
(Fans may be interested to know that the current stadium dates from 1995, but the old stadium featured in the movie still exists, and efforts are underway to preserve it as a baseball historical site.)
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#16
04-10-2005, 08:39 PM
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#17
04-10-2005, 10:37 PM
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#19
04-10-2005, 11:49 PM
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Thanks, Ranchoth, I knew I wasn't crazy! Although this post might refute that...
Any stats or records of fictional teams, people? Or has this post become "Hey, was that a real team?" Sometimes SDMB OP's remind me of the poem "I shot an arrow in the air..." Is two ellipses in a post too many? What about three...?
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#20
04-11-2005, 02:00 AM
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Well, the Miami Gators lose the World Series (to the Chicago Cubs) in 2015, according to Back to the Future.
And I know there's a Star Trek encyclopedia that shows a closeup of a baseball card for Buck Bokai, a MLB player with the London Kings, dated a few decades from now. The card had a few stats on it (I think it mentioned that they played against the "Gotham City Bats" at one point.)
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#21
04-11-2005, 08:43 AM
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The Pittsburgh Pirates in the real "Angels in the Outfield", with Natalie Wood as the cute little orphan girl who prays for a real Mommy and Daddy and for the Pirates to win the pennant, were nevertheless a real team. Their winning was fake, though.
Buck Bokai was Sisko's fave player in DS9 - he shows his original card to Jake before a pitch-and-catch session in the holodeck. The Toledo Mudhens are still ver much in business, as the Detroit Tigers top farm club in the International League. The St. Louis Wolves in Abbott and Costello's "Who's On First" routine. The Houston Team (no other name) in the real "Rollerball" - they played Madrid, New York, and Tokyo IIRC. The Milwaukee Beers, Las Vegas Strippers, and Dallas Felons in "Baseketball". And don't forget the Albuquerque Isotopes, even though the Springfield team didn't actually move there. The Springfield Atoms football team only appeared in 1 episode, but they have a banner hanging in Moe's.
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#22
04-11-2005, 08:52 AM
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#23
04-11-2005, 10:27 AM
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JasonG -- you need to meet this guy: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/simmons/index
He not only thinks about those things, he comes up with box-score lines for fictional characters in movies, such as Jimmy Chitwood's shooting numbers in the final game in Hoosiers.
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#24
04-11-2005, 10:36 AM
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My fave of those was his answer to the reader question "What was Danny Noonan's score on the back 9 at Bushwood after he took over from Al Czervik?"
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#27
04-11-2005, 11:02 AM
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John Hughes High WASPs, Not Another Teen Movie
Springfield Isotopes, The Simpsons. Shelbyville has a team, too, and Bart and Lisa joined a pee-wee football team at one point, I believe- Homer coached and cut everyone. Darlene Connor played baseball on Roseanne.
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#28
04-11-2005, 11:11 AM
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Interesting thread.
For "Major League". Back then you had two divisions per league. Cleveland was in the AL East back then, so the win total would have to be higher than 90 wins (though there was one year in the late 80s where a team won the East with 88 wins and twice teams won with 89 wins in the 1980s), though probably closer to 95-100 wins.
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#29
04-11-2005, 11:28 AM
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And who could forget the Lake Wobegone Whippets? Maybe it was too quiet a week.
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#30
04-11-2005, 12:08 PM
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I shot an arrow in the air It fell to earth I know just where. For though I aimed at a target far I pierced the radiator of my car. Simply amazing the trivia that sticks with you from grade school, isn't it?
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#32
04-11-2005, 03:57 PM
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There are, of course, the Average Joes (2004 ADAA Champions!) and Globogym dodgeball teams, along with a score of others...
For records, though, my favorite is Josh Exley of the Roswell Grays hitting 61 home runs in the 1947 season. 
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#33
04-11-2005, 04:27 PM
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In a case of life imitating art when Albuquerque minor league baseball team (formerly known as the "Dukes") was looking for a new name they decided to rename themselves the Isotopes.
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#35
04-11-2005, 06:51 PM
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#37
04-12-2005, 12:14 AM
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All right. I'll start.
The Miami Sharks of Any Given Sunday SPOILER ALERT When they begin their first game of the film -- a home game against the Minnesota Americans, they are 7-5 and have lost three in a row. Unfortunately, they lose to Minnesota, 37-34, and fall to 7-6. They then play Chicago at home, winning 23-17. They play at the California Crusaders and win 24-21. They lose a home game in the rain to the New York Emperors, 32-7, sending them to Dallas for the first round of playoffs. (season record: 9-7) They beat the Dallas Knights 37-35, sending them to Minnesota for the next round. They lose there, 32-13. A record for a fictional sports team. That's how it's done.
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#38
04-12-2005, 12:34 AM
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).No guess as to what Knights record might have been, but they were quite the streaky team...both of the losing and winning varieties.
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#39
04-12-2005, 01:38 AM
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#40
04-12-2005, 10:35 AM
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There's the South Park Elementary School Dodgeball team. I can't remember if they were undefeated or if they lost thier first game.
And as I typed this, I remembered the South Park E.S. Football team, though its been so long since I've seen that episode I can't come up with any more details. Except of course George Clooney's exceptional voice work. -G
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#41
04-13-2005, 03:05 PM
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In Little Big league, the Minnesota Twins end the season in a dead heat with the Settle Mariners for the AL Wild Card spot. I haven't watched this movie in a while, so I don't remember the #s, but I'm pretty sure they say them in the movie. (on faux-Sportscenter).
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#42
04-13-2005, 04:29 PM
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SPOILER:
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#44
04-13-2005, 09:04 PM
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Meh.
If you want a real team that never existed, I present The St. Louis Purple Stallions of the National Football League. After the Cardinals left for Arizona in the late 1980s, the civic leaders in St. Louis began an effort to bring in another football team. They pursued this effort energetically, but not wisely. At various teams there were three separate groups pursuing rights to a team, a stadium, broadcast rights and everything else. Eventually things shook out, and when the NFL was ready to grant an expansion franchise, the St. Louis group was right at the front of the pack, along with Charlotte. We had the ownership, the name, the logo, the souvenir hats and t-shirts, even a fight song. The only thing that was missing was the stadium lease. One of the rival groups had secured that, and they weren't willing to give it up without a substantial piece of the action. The NFL wound up awarding the other expansion franchise to Jacksonville, the hats and t-shirts were shredded and the owners were the laughingstock of the sports world. Eventually St. Louis would get the Rams. Sometimes, just to be nasty, a deejay will play the fight song, though. Final record: 0-0-0.
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#45
04-13-2005, 09:21 PM
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#46
04-13-2005, 09:37 PM
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The California Bulls (1st & Ten)
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