I Am Duly Awestruck By Your Loud Vehicle.

[Scumpup]

It is now obvious to me that it requires enormous genitals to ride a motorcycle that loud. When you sit in your driveway and rev it for 10 minutes at 6AM each weekday before roaring down the street on it, it makes it that much clearer to me. When you wake my toddler with it at 3AM on your way home from a bar each weekend, you are actually doing her a favor by demonstrating that only really cool people have motorcycles like yours, which is as it should be. Jesus would probably have one just like it.
I'm also now impressed by the kid down the street who has the really powerful stereo system in his car. The loud, thumping bass that shakes my windows as he goes by isn't rudeness. It's generosity that I was too stupid to recognize. Here was the lad kindly sharing his music with the whole neighborhood, and I was churlishly upset by it. Clearly, I'm the kind of asshole who stomps on kittens.
I must also state that I now genuflect in the direction of every ricer and hotrodder who squeals his tires at intersections and guns his car up residential streets. I thought these were idiotic peacock displays, but I was wrong. It must be some inadequacy or failing on my part that caused me to be annoyed by the noise your wonderful machines make.
Yes, I was wrong to think that loud vehicles were nothing but selfish, rude displays. I apologize for even thinking about the stifling of your personhood that you driving something quieter would entail. You guys rule.

[Ethilrist]

Actually, you'd think that enormous genitals would count against one in one's attempt to ride a motorcycle. Or, at least, make it proportionately more painful.

[QuickSilver]

Originally Posted by Scumpup

Yes, I was wrong to think that loud vehicles were nothing but selfish, rude displays. I apologize for even thinking about the stifling of your personhood that you driving something quieter would entail. You guys rule.

Dang-nab snot nosed jeuvenile dee-linkents with their noisy motor bikes and them loud hi-fi stereos. The devil take 'em and their beatnick friends! They's all into smoking them drugs y'know...

[Giraffe]

Originally Posted by Scumpup

It is now obvious to me that it requires enormous genitals to ride a motorcycle that loud...Jesus would probably have one just like it.

So...Jesus had enormous genitals? Far out. Makes one wonder if that whole "he is risen" thing wasn't just a big misunderstanding...?

[Lord Ashtar]

Originally Posted by Giraffe

So...Jesus had enormous genitals? Far out. Makes one wonder if that whole "he is risen" thing wasn't just a big misunderstanding...?

You're going to Hell for that.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Giraffe

So...Jesus had enormous genitals? Far out. Makes one wonder if that whole "he is risen" thing wasn't just a big misunderstanding...?

Well, he was hung on a cross.

[Scumpup]

Originally Posted by tdn

Well, he was hung on a cross.

He was hung like this. *spreads arms*

[Uncommon Sense]

Enough with the Jesus jokes already. I'm not ready for the second cumming of Christ just yet.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Scumpup

He was hung like this. *spreads arms*

Impressive!

[Elza B]

You don't live in Ohio, do you? Because I think we live on the same street.

I love our new house - it's wonderful. I work from home, and it's fairly quiet during the day for the most part. We do get high schoolers from down the street going by - school gets out at 1:45, so I'm treated to thumping bass for about half an hour. It doesn't bother me as much now, but I'm sure it'll be annoying when I'm trying to get a kid down for a nap next year.

However, there's some asshole who has a motorcycle in the neighborhood who does the EXACT same thing that your asshole cyclist does. Except his is at one AM when everyone else is trying to sleep.

My husband didn't believe me that it was waking me up for awhile - until we were up one night late playing Trivial Pursuit and went to bed just as jackass was leaving his house on his motorcycle. THEN he believed me.

Funny thing is, we have a noise ordinance in this town that's somewhat strictly enforced. Except on our street. And we have a cop who sits on the corner for hours a day - EXCEPT when the high schoolers are getting out of school. It would be really nice if they would crack down on a bit of this pounding bass that we're subjected to at 1:45.

E.

[FilmGeek]

Now I'm going to hell for laughing at all these posts.

Does your city have a noise pollution law? It'd be easy enough to catch these guys, call the cops, tell them where and when. If not, you may be out of luck.

[NurseCarmen]

Originally Posted by Giraffe

So...Jesus had enormous genitals?

I've heard that he was hung on the cross. He musta been hung on the street, in the park, and on the sofa too.

[NurseCarmen]

I am waaaaay too friggen slow.

[Cat Whisperer]

My city has noise pollution laws, and as far as I know, they are thoroughly ignored by all enforcement officers. I would absolutely love to see a loud motorcycle getting pulled over and ticketed for being so incredibly loud some day, but I haven't seen it yet, and it's not looking likely.

My sympathies, Scumpup. My hatred of noisy vehicles burns with the fire of 854 suns.

[Uncommon Sense]

Far as I'm concerned, the guy with the quietest car wins.
I think someone should start a trend for quiet cars. Making cars loud is toooo easy, making cars extremely quiet is very difficult. If you want to impress me then make it so I can't even hear your engine rev when you stand on the gas. That would be a remarkable feat.

[tdn]

Around here motorcycles need to be loud. Bikers usually just take the muffler right off. It's a safety issue. If they're not going to be seen, then they need to be heard.

But when the local bike gang comes by, it's like the freakin' apocolypse.

[butler1850]

Loud pipes save lives!

*ok, actually, they make me want to plow the biker over.

I have a '78KZ-650SR, not a sexy bike, stock pipes, and YES, large hanging male parts do make motorcycle riding less enjoyable. Less so on a cruiser, or standard bike than on a rice rocket.

We've got this same idiot in our neighborhood. Saturday and Sundays he tears out of his driveway, onto the street, then tears out onto the main roads... I've been behind him, and he doesn't do this once he's left the neighborhood? :wally

-Butler

[Greathouse]

Exactly tdn. I have a VERY loud bike for safety reasons. I want someone to know when I am coming up on thier blind spot. Ever heard the saying "Loud pipes save lives"?

Now, with that in mind, I DO NOT ride my bike past 8:00PM unless I am going somewhere and plan on being out all night. I like my nieghbors and they like me. I prefer to keep it that way.

[Scumpup]

Originally Posted by Greathouse

Exactly tdn. I have a VERY loud bike for safety reasons. I want someone to know when I am coming up on thier blind spot. Ever heard the saying "Loud pipes save lives"?

Now, with that in mind, I DO NOT ride my bike past 8:00PM unless I am going somewhere and plan on being out all night. I like my nieghbors and they like me. I prefer to keep it that way.

The choice to ride an inherently less-safe vehicle entitles one to be a public nuisance for one's personal safety? Fuck that. You want safety, buy a car. A quiet one. I owned various motorcycles from the time I was 16 'til I was in my 30's. I didn't buy this excuse then and I don't buy it now.

[sturmhauke]

Does this guy ride a Harley with a big sticker that reads, "LOUD PIPES SAVE LIVES"? If so, you may be talking about my uncle. Don't worry, I don't like him either, he's not a blood relative anyway.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Greathouse

Exactly tdn. I have a VERY loud bike for safety reasons. I want someone to know when I am coming up on thier blind spot. Ever heard the saying "Loud pipes save lives"?

I don't know what things are like in Denton, but here in Boston the traffic is -- well, the ultimate expression of the way things seem to be headed in the rest of the country. And it's been that way for decades. Even if I was equipped with a bullhorn and siren, I wouldn't ride a bike on these streets. Too many maniacs and idiots.

But it sounds like Denton is no cakewalk either.

[Greathouse]

Originally Posted by Scumpup

The choice to ride an inherently less-safe vehicle entitles one to be a public nuisance for one's personal safety?

A nuisance to whom? Nobody has ever complained to me about it. Did you miss the part where I specifically take my neighbors into consideration? I don't come in at 3:00AM and I don't sit in the driveway and rev it for 10 minutes.

Originally Posted by Scumpup

You want safety, buy a car. A quiet one. I owned various motorcycles from the time I was 16 'til I was in my 30's. I didn't buy this excuse then and I don't buy it now.

Fine. Yes. I would love to have a quiet car. Are you going to buy it for me? I didn't think so. I ride the bike because it is the only form of transportation I own, and the only reason I own that is because it was inherited.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Scumpup

The choice to ride an inherently less-safe vehicle entitles one to be a public nuisance for one's personal safety? Fuck that. You want safety, buy a car. A quiet one. I owned various motorcycles from the time I was 16 'til I was in my 30's. I didn't buy this excuse then and I don't buy it now.

In a way this makes sense, but on the other hand why should GreatHouse have to change his vehicle to accomodate other people's bad driving skills?

[Scumpup]

Having spent a few hours astride a bike, one thing I know about them is that they don't seem anywhere near as noisy to the rider, especially if he is wearing a helmet, as they do to the whole rest of the world.

A nuisance to whom?

Every last person whose home you drove by who doesn't think the sound of a loud pipe is pleasant. Especially those folks who had their windows open or who were trying to relax on their porch or deck.

I ride the bike because it is the only form of transportation I own, and the only reason I own that is because it was inherited.

Sell it. Put the proceeds towards a used car.

I wasn't speaking about you personally in any case. I don't know where you live, but motorcycles are strictly a seasonal mode of transportation here. A really stoical and determined rider can get perhaps 7-8 months a year of street use each year. IOW, they are a toy, not a practical mode of daily transport. The decision to own a toy that has risks associated with it doesn't give anybody the right to be obnoxious in the name of safety. I note that since the helmet laws were repealed last year, all these loud-pipe-safety-mavens seldom wear anything but bandanas on their heads.

[dropzone]

Originally Posted by tdn

...why should GreatHouse have to change his vehicle to accomodate other people's bad driving skills?

Uh, because it's the law?

[Greathouse]

Originally Posted by Scumpup

Every last person whose home you drove by who doesn't think the sound of a loud pipe is pleasant. Especially those folks who had their windows open or who were trying to relax on their porch or deck.

If my neighbors actually had a problem with it, then they would surely come and speak to me about it. It was even brought up as quiet a nice topic of conversation during the last block party. As a matter of fact everyone wanted to go for a ride on it. I was happy to oblige.

Originally Posted by Scumpup

Sell it. Put the proceeds towards a used car.

Sorry, but I am not about to sell my father's motorcycle that he spent the better part of 22 years restoring. Ain't gonna happen.

Originally Posted by Scumpup

I wasn't speaking about you personally in any case. I don't know where you live, but motorcycles are strictly a seasonal mode of transportation here. A really stoical and determined rider can get perhaps 7-8 months a year of street use each year. IOW, they are a toy, not a practical mode of daily transport. The decision to own a toy that has risks associated with it doesn't give anybody the right to be obnoxious in the name of safety. I note that since the helmet laws were repealed last year, all these loud-pipe-safety-mavens seldom wear anything but bandanas on their heads.

Down here in Denton, TX I can ride my bike all year long. We have (at the most) 1 or 2 snow days a year. The rest of the time it is fine to ride.

And I always wear a helmet.

[Greathouse]

Originally Posted by dropzone

Uh, because it's the law?

What law?

[alice_in_wonderland]

See, now I always assumed that guys that do that have really SMALL winkies. As in, teeny, tiny little beeny weenies.

I guess I've been missing out...

[Scumpup]

Originally Posted by Greathouse

If my neighbors actually had a problem with it, then they would surely come and speak to me about it. It was even brought up as quiet a nice topic of conversation during the last block party. As a matter of fact everyone wanted to go for a ride on it. I was happy to oblige.

Are your neighbors the only people past whose homes you ride?

Sorry, but I am not about to sell my father's motorcycle that he spent the better part of 22 years restoring. Ain't gonna happen.

Sentimental value doesn't give you a pass either. What did you do before you had the bike? Go back to doing that. Put a proper muffler on the bike. You choose to ride it. The people who homes you ride past didn't get a choice. No doubt the fellow across the street can give me a laundry list of reasons why his bike needs to be loud too.

[The Great Sun Jester]

I drive an '83 Corolla with a new (stock) exhaust system and bad paint.

My penis rides shotgun.

[catsix]

tdn said:
Around here motorcycles need to be loud. Bikers usually just take the muffler right off. It's a safety issue. If they're not going to be seen, then they need to be heard.

Around here, they do that shit and I can't really hear them in traffic unless I'm behind them, in which case I can see them. However, when they pass my house on the road, they still manage to drown out my TV, and that's with all the windows shut in the house.

The other day someone rode through the parking lot with their ultra-loud pipes and I think it actually broke the pain threshhold in decibels.

Exactly tdn. I have a VERY loud bike for safety reasons. I want someone to know when I am coming up on thier blind spot. Ever heard the saying "Loud pipes save lives"?

How is it more safe if I can't really hear you when you're coming up on me, but only after you've passed me and the tailpipe of your bike is pointing in my direction?

Scumpup said:
Having spent a few hours astride a bike, one thing I know about them is that they don't seem anywhere near as noisy to the rider, especially if he is wearing a helmet, as they do to the whole rest of the world.

I know this one. When my ribs are vibrating and my eardrums feel like they're going to pop, I wonder how the hell it is that the rider isn't deafened. Maybe that's the problem. They are deafened and have no idea that their bike is painfully loud.

Every last person whose home you drove by who doesn't think the sound of a loud pipe is pleasant. Especially those folks who had their windows open or who were trying to relax on their porch or deck.

Or trying to have a conversation in a normal voice more than 200 feet away from the biker. Some Sundays at grandmasix's house it's impossible to even have dinner conversation because although she has whole house AC and the windows and doors are shut up tight, all we can hear is the roaring sound of pipes that are way too fucking loud. Not even the semi trucks that roll by are that damned loud.

[alice_in_wonderland]

Originally Posted by Inigo Montoya

I drive an '83 Corolla with a new (stock) exhaust system and bad paint.

My penis rides shotgun.

Oh yah - well MY penis is so big, I have to take the BUS! Wait a second...

[dropzone]

Originally Posted by Greathouse

What law?

Local noise ordinances, which are usually ignored by all and sundry unless a cop is pissed at you for something else.

[Boldface Type]

Originally Posted by catsix

How is it more safe if I can't really hear you when you're coming up on me, but only after you've passed me and the tailpipe of your bike is pointing in my direction?

Hot bingo bonus - 'tis why 'loud pipes save lives' is bollocks.

Then again, I was a Beemer-rider who typically rode around corners at >2degrees of lean, so those with loud pipes (a) hated me, (b) were somewhere in the distance behind me. Didn't wear a puddin' bowl helmet, either.

[Lute Skywatcher]

All you in the "loud pipes save lives" crowd: you are aware that there is such a thing as a motorcylce horn, right? The one I heard today certainly wasn't some wimpy "beep".

[dropzone]

There is one way that loud pipes can reduce motorcycle accidents: they piss off enough voters that bikes get banned.

[Greathouse]

Originally Posted by dropzone

Local noise ordinances, which are usually ignored by all and sundry unless a cop is pissed at you for something else.

Hmmm....do you know how I could find out exactly what my local noice ordinance says?

[voltaire]

This site doesn't include Denton, TX under the "City/County Ordinances" section, but it has some useful examples from other cities.

[Patty O'Furniture]

I never understood the "loud ugly noises increase bike safety" argument. When I used to drive a car I could sometimes hear motorcycle farts when I couldn't see a bike im my immediate field of view - but how does that help? I'm not about to crane my neck around like Linda Blair in The Exorcist to see where the bike is. I will acknowledge the existance and location of the bike when it comes into view, like I do with any other vehicle on the road.

By that reasoning, volkswagen drivers should constantly lean on their horns whenever they are in the vicinity of an SUV.

[Odesio]

Originally Posted by Greathouse

Exactly tdn. I have a VERY loud bike for safety reasons. I want someone to know when I am coming up on thier blind spot. Ever heard the saying "Loud pipes save lives"?

Sure, but your bike shouldn't drown out the radio as well as all conversation while we're next to one another. I don't have anything against motorcycles but I wonder how some of you guys aren't deaf.

Marc

[unclviny]

"Loud pipes save lives" is completely ridiculous and stupid, it has been proven over and over to be absolute bullshit! but it is a great excuse for the "tiny winkie club" to buy wide open mufflers.
I play around with vintage British motorcycles and most of them have modified exhaust systems but they are nowhere near as loud as your run of the mill Hardly-Ableson with craptacular mufflers or modern Jap-scrap with a "race only" can.
As the AMA say's "Loud pipes risk rights".

To those who cling to "loud pipes save lives" I say cite.

Unclviny

[wheelie]

When I was taking my BMW motorcycle technician certification class at the American Motorcycle Institute at Daytona Beach, the instructor told us about sneaking up on the Harley guys when they were using the dynomometer (a big thingie that directly measures horsepower at the rear wheel) and sticking a large screwdriver handle into the open pipes, restricting the flow (and noise) a little. Guess what happened to the power output? IT WENT UP!! The Harley guys were excited at the readings, until someone saw what was causing it.
Can't have more power if it means less noise, huh?
If I feel the need to make noise on my Triumph, I use the horn! :wally

[buttonjockey308]

Y'know, I've been itching to have this conversation for years...

I've ridden on and off since I was 18, I like motorcycles, I plan to get another shortly. I don't plan to overpay for a harley either, It'll be the Honda VTX 1800 and the exhaust will be slightly modified so it has a slight throat, and makes noise on rapid acceleration. That's IT.

Stock pipe sound is fine, it's as loud as you need it to be, and usually as loud is as allowed by law. When I see these harley dickheads with their shorties and chopper boys with their as-close-as-i-can-get-to-drag-pipes exhaust, it pisses me off to the point of violent overreaction.

Loud pipes don't save lives, there's never been a study or research to make the case, it's just hackneyed conventional wisdom. In fact, as some have already pointed out, loud pipes don't warn other drivers from the front, and in my practical experience, more than 70% of motorcycle accidents happen from the front. In 15 years of responding to accidents, 1 motorcycle was hit from the rear. One. And HE was standing still at a green light talking on his cell phone.


Still the myth keeps perpetuating, the concept about loud pipes assumes that; a) a car driver is not only going to hear the bike, but be able to determine it's location relative to his own. b) Drivers rely on sound as much as vision to locate and avoid obstacles. And c) That sounds from a motorcycle's exhaust travel equally in all directions from the pipe end.

All very dangerous assumptions. I mean, think about the last time you heard a siren, were you able to identify the location of the approaching vehicle by the sound? Did you know where it was as soon as you heard it, or did you have to wait for visual confirmation? Me? I STILL have to wait until I see the vehicle, and I've been operating emergency vehicles all of my adult life.

Extra Loud pipes are a lie, a nuisance and a myth, wholly perpetuated by those who SELL loud pipes to idiots like the one that lives next to Scumpup. Riding a motorcycle is an inherently dangerous activity, so leather up "biker" boy, putting extra loud pipes on your midlife crisis only makes you look like a bigger asshole with a smaller dick.

What's more, the notion of a REAL biker is dead and gone anyway, there's no rebellion in a 40,000 dollar motorcycle, and 5k in accessories, the outlaw culture that these so called 'American Steel' bikes are supposed to represent is alive only in the hopeful minds of the suburban office warriors, who are, by the way, the only ones who can afford the price tag.

So I say in response to the "loud Pipes" argument, and in concert with the American Motorcycle Association and some of you here...

...BULLSHIT!

[scr4]

Wouldn't it be safer if you (the biker) could hear other vehicles and avoid them? A quiet bike would be better for that. Bikers seem to have such low opinion of car drivers' skills, and it's puzzling to me why they would rely on car drivers to hear the bike and avoid it.

[RTFirefly]

Yeah, loud pipes save assholes' lives. Just what we want.

Even if it were true, I would hope motorcycle riders could find a way to 'save lives' that didn't involve their drowning out my stereo when I'm sitting in my house, a quarter-mile off the highway. Like flashing lights or something complicated like that.

[Tapioca Dextrin]

Originally Posted by RTFirefly

Like flashing lights or something complicated like that.

Making it compulsory for all bikes to be painted day-glo pink might be a first step. And the addition of some nice shiny deely boppers would help out on the visibility front, too.

[tdn]

Originally Posted by alice_in_wonderland

Oh yah - well MY penis is so big, I have to take the BUS! Wait a second...

Pfft. I walk. Which is not easy, seeing as I have to drag my enormous penis behind me.

[tdn]

What's up with all the hostility towards bikers? I can understand being skeptical about the "loud pipes" thing, but what I'm seeing here is downright hatred, and coming dangerously close to wishing death. Where does this irrational venom come from?

Makes me think that any advice you have about biker safety is pure bullshit, seeing as you'd like to see bikers eliminated.

[stegon66]

I'm also now impressed by the kid down the street who has the really powerful stereo system in his car.

That wouldn't be so bad if the little punk-ass bastards actually played GOOD music instead of the usual obnoxious rap they think is so cool.

[Scumpup]

Originally Posted by tdn

What's up with all the hostility towards bikers? I can understand being skeptical about the "loud pipes" thing, but what I'm seeing here is downright hatred, and coming dangerously close to wishing death. Where does this irrational venom come from?

Makes me think that any advice you have about biker safety is pure bullshit, seeing as you'd like to see bikers eliminated.

I don't hate bikers. I don't hate motorcycles either. I owned 6 of them and plan on getting another in the next few months.

I hate the racket from loud pipe bikes. It has fuck-all to do with rider safety. It's all about rider ego and plain obnoxious rudeness. Loud pipe bikes are no different than the kind of asshole who lives in an apartment building and plays his stereo loudly enough to be heard in other apartments. Its no different from a smoker who blows smoke in your face. Its nothing but "I enjoy making noise! Fuck everybody else!"