I was in line at the grocery store yesterday. The woman ahead of me had a box of Tampax Pearls on the conveyor belt. As you can see from the link, it even has a picture of a string of pearls on the box.
I burst out laughing. Instantly. And I didn’t even try to hold back.
I guess it’s the applicator or whatever, some improvement, but…but…all I could think of when I pictured a vagina and a string of pearls was some seedy strip show act.
I didn’t get the big deal and all the hoo ha (no pun intended) when those came out. All my friends just RAVED about them. “Oh they are the greatest. They do fit and don’t leak and feed the cat when you’re out of town on long weekends.” None of this ever justified the cost to me.
Then they went on sale. Lemme tell ya: that was the most uncomfortable thing I’ve ever had in my crotch (…shut. up.). I’m pretty sure a string of pearls could have actually been much more comfortable.
The color of the plastic sheathing is a lovely pearlized green, and as I also remove the tampon from the applicator, I don’t see any extra comfort measure from pearly tampons.
Real pearls wouldn’t be very absorbant, but I just love finding new places to wear diamonds, I mean pearls!
That was a movie quote, Gentleman Prefer Blondes, did any body notice? Never mind
There are no beads; they’re called “Pearl”, from what I can see, just because the applicator has a pearl-sheen (they probably wanted to make it look fancier and sound fancier, so there ya go).
As for scented shit, ugh. For some reason, some tampon companies make scented tampons. This is absolutely rediculous. It’s going rather far up in your crotch, you don’t need artificial baby powder stench hanging in there and irritating your insides. Plays on stupid insecurities and the fear of, oh god, actually being a woman and… and… [sub]menstruating[/sub]! :eek: :rolleyes:
I’m o.b. all the way. Only gets to be a pain if you remove the tampon a bit too early so it’s hard to get another one in (my number 1 pet peeve about them).
When I first started wearing tampons, I tried a few different brands, and then settled on Playtex, which had the rounded applicator head. I found them far easier to insert than Tampax’s straight ended tampons. When o.b. came out, I switched to them, and found them to be very comfy, or as comfy as tampons can be, anyway. Plus, I could carry more of them in a small zippered bag in my purse, as they didn’t have applicators to take up the room.
I got spayed about four and a half years ago, and I don’t miss worrying about buying and carrying tampons around one bit!
I don’t get a lot of the hype about Tampax - I find them overpriced and uncomfortable. And scented? That’s a new one to me. I wouldn’t put anything scented all the way up there - the itch! The burn! The pointlessness!
I, too, use o.b.s and/or Instead. **La Llorona ** and any of the others who use o.b.s (or Instead), if you ever find yourselves in my washroom, you may help yourselves to whatever you need, since I know you won’t freak out over my selection. It’s happened before. “Do you have a tampon?” I offer an o.b. “OH DEAR GOD I CAN’T USE THAT!” What are you, two? As for the rest of you, ahhh… go play with your pearls.
American advertisers have had extraordinary success with convincing women they stink. I don’t know if it’s a habit peculiar to Americans, but we’re extremely succeptible to shame advertising.
Encouaging Americans to be paranoid that they might smell bad has probably sold more products than any other trick. Every part of our bodies has a product designed to cleanse and perfume it, including an entire industry of different sorts of products devoted to vaginas–deodorants, douches, powders, cleansing wipes, and scented menstrual products.
Unless she has an infection, the average woman should have no odor problems that can’t be solved by a simple bath, the vagina being naturally self-clensing. However, legions of women are convinced they will stink unless they flush out the offending orifice regularly, and spray it with specially-designed deodorants. Ironically, use of these products makes it more likely odor will occur, because they may kill beneficial bacteria, or cause a rash or infection.
Here is a copy of the appellate opinion upholding a permanent injunction against the original claims made by Tambrands that Pearl was a superior tampon. The court notes that evidence supported the inference that “the braid undermined the main pledget’s absorbency,” “the Pearl leaked significantly faster than the Gentle Glide,” and the Pearl’s absorbent braid became “full of syngina fluid” before the primary absorbent reached saturation."
Apparently, a syngina is “an instrument ‘designed to be an in-body simulation.’” :eek:
