A bunch of deeply twisted (and wonderful, in my opinion) kids in San Francisco have produced 27 episodes (so far) of a public access cable TV show they call “Fantasy Bedtime Hour.” It stars two supposedly naked girls who lie in bed and discuss Stephen R. Donaldson’s brilliant but wildly overwritten fantasy novel “Lord Foul’s Bane” with different “guest experts” (chosen from people who email for the privilege, not counting a trio of guys from an accounting firm who supposedly won the chance to be experts in a business card drawing). The girls are deeply confused by the plot, the vocabulary, Lord Foul’s arcane use of numbers (“Ten times a hundred years ago” for “one thousand years ago,” for example) and just about everything else in “Lord Foul’s Bane.” (The accounting guys try to straighten the girls out with a Powerpoint presentation. Among their recommendations: buy a dictionary!) The episodes are further brightened by predictably appalling and hilarious recreations of scenes from the book (the best one being a Charlie-Chaplinesque take on the loss of the Staff of Law). Anyway, you have to see it to believe it.
The best part is that Stephen R. Donaldson got wind of it somehow, and he applied to be a guest expert. He appears in episode 27 (in a yellow fright wig, under the pseudonym “Higgins O’Higgins”) and is supposedly going to appear in the final episode as well. Considering that Donaldson is at work on a final four Thomas Covenant books (the first one of which came out in November), and that there is supposedly a film in development, Donaldson would have to have been a fool not to play along. If I were even more cynical than I am, I would suspect that Donaldson’s press agent was the one who invented the direct access TV show in the first place, but I’m sure that he was not. Nonetheless, it is a hoot to see the fifty-something, college professorish Donaldson lolling around in bed with the girls while discussing “Lord Mormon” (their pronunciation, not his) and the gang with a huge grin on his face. Clearly, Donaldson is loving every minute of it.
Anyway, you can see the show on their website, as well. Predictably enough, it’s at (**NOT WORK SAFE) ** fantasybedtimehour.com. (it isn’t work safe because, at first glance, the shots of the girls in bed looks like low grade porno or something. They never actually do anything, but you don’t want to have to try to explain that to your boss, do you?) If you don’t have the patience to sit through all of the episodes (and, frankly, I don’t have that much patience, either), I suggest Episode five, which not only has a recap of all the dramatic reenactments up to that point, but features a surprise visit from one of the characters (not the actors – the characters) from Terminator.
I’d put this in MPSIMS, but since it has to do with books and television, here it is.
