Holy War 2101: Mormons VS Scientology

[Lumpy]

Here's a RPG for you:

By 2101, 80% of the non-Hispanic population of North America were followers of just two religions: The Church of Latter-Day Saints, otherwise known as Mormons, had the allegence of most of the the central continental basin. While the adherents of Scientology overwhelmingly controled the major urban areas of the East and West coasts. Following the spectacular growth of their faiths as they displaced traditional Protestant Christianity through the twenty-first century, they eventually became emeshed in an ideological and political struggle for supremacy that broke out into the Holy Wars of the twenty-second century. The substantial Catholic minority attempted to maintain an armed neutrality, but often was forced by expediency to take one side or the other at different times and places.

So how do you see this playing out? Which side do you choose? Who might win?

[Snooooopy]

What's Islam doing? Waiting for the two sides to wear each other out before swooping in?

[Miller]

Originally Posted by Snooooopy

What's Islam doing? Waiting for the two sides to wear each other out before swooping in?

Nah, without the unified West to force them into a rough alliance, they've gotten back to what's really important: slaughtering each other. The heretic is always more hated than the infidel.

[Regallag_The_Axe]

Hmmm... Who gets to summon Xenu to eliminate their foes? I'll be on that side.

[Cynical Optimist]

Armies: On one side you have the Mormons with their posthumous conversions fielding an army of (potentially) every human who's ever lived. On the other side the clams have an intergalactic federation of who knows how many beings. If there are even a few populated planets out there their numbers could be legion. Advantage: Scientology

Navies: Mormons have the battlestars Galactica and Pegasus (among others). El Rotundo refers to spaceships that look exactly like DC9s which, while not designed for combat, could probably be modified to carry weaponry, but it will never match a craft built for war. Advantage: Mormons

Morale: Mormons, while they do try to convert, don't actively avoid friends/relatives who don't share their faith. Clams start their disconnect shortly after grabbing the electrified soup cans for the first time & the pressure only increases from there. Advantage: Mormons

Logistics: Mormons (unofficially?) keep stores of food, water, and emergency supplies in case of disaster, natural or man-made. Clams stockpile bad fiction but little else, thereby leaving themselves dependant upon external support. Cut off their supply lines and they're left to postulating their next meal. Advantage: Mormons

So what's going to happen? IF (and it's a big if) the clams can get their troops into combat they'll slaughter any Mormon foolish enough to stand their ground. But if the Mormons can keep their distance & maintain space superiority they can starve out the planet-based forces of Scientology. Prediction: Mormon victory, light-to-moderate casualties.

As for me, I'll throw my lot in with the Mormons. At least they're sane.

[beckwall]

Originally Posted by Cynical Optimist

[
As for me, I'll throw my lot in with the Mormons. At least they're sane.

Cite?

[silenus]

Gotta side with the Mormons in this battle. Besides, all they have to do is set up a press conference right before a battle. The Scientologincia will fall all over themselves trying to hog the spotlight, thereby concentrating themselves in a tight, controlled area where they can be nuked at will.

[Balle_M]

Don't forget the massive Osmond breeding ranch in Utah which can pop out Mormons like a Pez dispensor to counter any battle losses.