I am trying to make a list of the biggest best and most popular self help books/ schools of thought.
I haven’t really read many myself. I did get about half way through a purpose driven life… It is a little tough for me since I am pretty agnostic…but other then that I liked it ok.
If you had to list the top 5 most popular self help books/ “self help schools of thought” based on your sense of things, which would you choose? And how do you feel about each?
My instinct is telling me:
[ul]
[li]The Purpose Driven Life[/li][li]Seven Habits of Highly Successful People[/li][li]Tony Robbins and whatever he calls his books and tapes…[/li][/ul]
Any others that jump out at you? And do you hate or love or tolerate any of these?
Do you have any favorite self help books that aren’t particulary popular?
I’ve never paid much attention to self-help. I figure I don’t really need it. My philosophy has always been, “Fuck 'em if they can’t take a joke,” for what it’s worth. I did get a copy of The Rhythm(sp?) of Life or somesuch for my Confirmation. I never read enough of it to know if I should be pleased or upset.
When I first read (skimmed is a better word) it I was impressed with the classic “How to Win Friends and Influence People” now called “Dale Carnegie’s Lifetime Plan for Success”. Until I’d read the author’s background and realized he was a preacher and then the advice seemed less impressive. Upon saying that, I’m not sure what difference it made, but it did.
Basically, he said to be liked you should suck up to people and let them win arguments.
How that translated into influence was the poser. I guess it puts them off guard and makes them less combative and more open to suggestion. A decent idea, but only worth a one-line aphorism, not a book.
The art of happiness was ok. However it was pretty popular and not really a small time book. The author talks about how narcissim in the form of trying to be happy and free of suffering was the best way to be a good person as numerous studies have shown happy, well adjusted people are better than depressed & maladjusted people at almost everything (learning, philanthropy, relationships, dealing with setbacks). Also at least two methods of buddhist meditation (mindfulness and loving-kindness) have been proven to boost good moods and lessen bad moods.
Steven Covey has another book that is one of my favorites, First Things First. The main focus is on time management. Another good one on time management is Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity.
Decision Making School
Smart Choices: The Practical Guide to Making Better Decisions, by John S. Hammond. I was once asked to recommend a way to train people to make better decisions. That was before I’d read this book, and I said I didn’t think it could really be done, people either know how to make decisions or they don’t. This book has made me a **better ** decision maker, and I think it would also help those who really struggle with it.
Positive Psychology School
My favorite here is Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman. I especially like that he provides experimental results to back up his findings and recommendations.
Christian/Inspirational School.
Purpose-driven Life is in this school. I also kind of like Robert Schuller if I’m in the mood for this type of advice. Also, the Road Less Traveled and others by M. Scott Peck.
One big, big name in the self-help field is Norman Vincent Peale, author of The Power of Positive Thinking. There are plenty of criticisms one could make of him (he’s a Christian preacher, though some have accused him of not being Christian enough; he inhabits an old-fashioned, conservative, Reader’s-Digest America in which everyone’s either a salesman or a housewife), but his writings can be a helpful source of encouragement (or a kick in the pants) if one is prone to moping around and needs to be spurred to confidence and enthusiasm. Robert Schuller is supposedly along the same lines.
The only self-help book I can remember reading is Getting to Yes, which really isn’t self-help as much as it is effective negotiating tactics. But it made me examine my behavior (as well as others’) and I’ve incorporated some of the techniques and tactics (or I like to think I have), so I suppose it could be called self-help. I thought it was good.
My personal favorites are the 70’s Wayne Dyer audio tapes before he became more spiritually focused. A quick google makes me wonder if these tapes are hard to find now because they do seem pretty contradictory to what he is selling these days.
The other stuff I have is more like finding bits of useful information in a big pile of rehashed reworked material. It’s not uncommon to read an entire self help book and come away with only 1-2 new concepts.
Some of the oldies like Zig Ziglar or Dale Carnegie are really dated but may be worth checking out anyway. For instance How To Stop Worrying and Start Living changed my life 10 years ago with two concepts “day tight compartments” and “worst case scenario” are things that literally changed my life. These things might be common knowledge to some people but then they wouldn’t be reading any self help books would they?
I also like to read What Would Machiavelli Do and the chapter on different types of people from Looking Out For #1 every year or two just to remind myself how the real world works.
A little more new age, but I really like The Four Agreements, and some Deepak when I’m trying to forget how the real world works.
Robbins is ok but to me he can be condensed into two concepts - The success formula and the two pillars pleasure/pain. I also like his take on questioning belief systems but people spend too much money on his programs where they could buy his first two books used and have most of his system for under $20.
Have you read Burns’ book Intimate Connections? I checked it out on advice from a poster here and wound up wishing I had read it 15 years ago instead of having to figure out everything on my own. Intimate Connections and Feeling Good both turned me on to cognitive psychology, which has been a hobby of mine for some time now.
The Lost Art of Listening is another good one. My job involves working with library patrons quite a bit, so listening is definitely an important skill. This book is probably the best one on learning how to listen.
Somebody should really tell Leil Lowndes that she’s a self-help book writer, not a comedienne, but once you get past the corny jokes, her books do offer great advice on coming out of your shell and getting to know people.
I liked How to Win Friends and Influence People way back when I read it as a kid, but you’ll get eaten if you try to follow Dale’s advice to the letter in this world.
I’ve never read David Burns but he sounds interesting. He sounds alot like Albert Ellis though.
Positive psychology in general (which is the study of making mediocre people into happy, productive people who able to deal with setbacks; as opposed to negative psychology which is making depressed, anxious unhappy people feel more balanced) is an interesting but new subject. It is only about 10 years old but Deiner and Seligman are the main writers on the subject.
One of the things about David Burns’ books that sets them head and shoulders above a lot of self-help books is that their basis, Cognitive Therapy, is a scientifically tried and true therapy for depression and anxiety, having been shown repeatedly to equal or surpass results for anti-depressive medications. It’s a lot more than pop psychology.
A lot of self-help, especially the stuff that focuses on positive thinking, reminds me of business seminars and classes that I’ve attended - you leave feeling all fired-up and raring to go, but in two weeks, the feeling’s long since dissipated and what was supposedly taught is of little use to the recipient.
The most successful self-help focuses on long-term tools to support and build upon what is being taught. This applies to the books by David Burns, as well as to other successful self-help programs like Franklin Covey’s Time Management and The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.
