The Straight Dope

Go Back   Straight Dope Message Board > Main > Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 08-18-2000, 02:15 PM
Jester Jester is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Okay, well, this is my 50th post, and I decided that people seem to like them party type things. So....seeing as how I'm trying to fight my status as a newbie, I thought I should have one of my own.

Since this is only 50, and not 1000, I couldn't afford the yaht. Instead, I stole one of Weirddave's lifeboats. Currently, I'm drifting out here, with a couple six packs, a bag of chips, and a really dumb looking party hat. I'm having fun out here, but I need some company, dammit! If you talk to the guy at the dock, he'll probably rent you a motorboat to come out and tie up with me, all expenses payed. Here's hoping!

<Jester sits back, about to pop open a beer and wait, then decides that there aren't enough to spare, and saves em for everybody else>
__________________
"The man who cannot laugh at himself should be handed a mirror."
Reply With Quote
Advertisements  
  #2  
Old 08-18-2000, 02:33 PM
struuter struuter is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
*pokes head out from under a tarp*
Happy 50th. Hey...stay away from that ice. What's he say in that movie? Ah yes...'You could melt all this...STUFF.'
*winks*
__________________
Beguiled I am by all you state
Come close, let me reciprocate
And whisper to you words true meant
Of how your charms these arms torment
And then shall word meld unto kiss
As cyber-passion's virtual bliss
Compels devotion, fix'd and utter
To my precious flirty struuter--ianzin
Patron Saint of kind hearted words and Fluffemutter sandwiches.
Official SDMB Strumpet--'Knighted' by ChiefScott

Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 08-18-2000, 02:38 PM
Wobbie Wobbie is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
<pulls up in another life boat>

Jester!! I stopped by Wierddave's party, but things are dead. There are only like 2 people left. So I decided to steal a lifeboat and come and join you.

<attempts to grab Jester's bow line to tie the boats together but misses and falls in the water. Eventually climbs out and gives jester a big hug>

I love you man. Happy 50th.

<Grabs a beer sits down and starts mumbling about how it's amazing just how many boats you could fit into this tiny swimming pool>
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 08-18-2000, 02:48 PM
inoci inoci is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
hey jester, you have room for all these monkies?
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 08-18-2000, 02:54 PM
Sealemon88 Sealemon88 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Hey, congrats on your 50. I brought a couple of things for the occasion: two pieces of gum, some lint, and a used crack pipe.

Enjoy!
__________________
You say "cheesy" like it's a BAD thing.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 08-18-2000, 03:10 PM
Wobbie Wobbie is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
<looking at the monkey's>

Hey Jester. Let's toss these little guys into the water and have them fight. That would be cool. Unless of course they can't swim. Ohh, I never thought of that. THen they would just drown. THat would just suck so much.

<walking over to one of them and attempts to pet it>

I guess we couold just throw one in to see if they float. Come here little guy. We're going to conduct a little experiment with you....AAGGGGHHHH!!

<starts to run around the small life boat with a monkey latched onto his face. eventually he falls into the water and the monkey lets go and floats away. climbs back onto the boat with a smile and scratches all over his face>

Okay, they float. Let's toss them in.

<starts to walk toward the monkeys who are huddled into one corner but is distracted by the used crack pipe>

Hey, what's this. Ohh, I know. Does anybody have any bubble mix.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 08-18-2000, 03:13 PM
Wobbie Wobbie is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
<walks over to the life boat stutter is in and knocks on tarp>

Mind if I come in?
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 08-18-2000, 03:14 PM
Revedge Revedge is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Congrats Jester.

At least you got a party. When I hit 100 I made a really witty post that fit seamlessly into the parameters of the OP while still mentioning that it was number 100 and no one even noticed. Sigh.

<tries to hand Jester another sixpack for the party, slips and falls into pool.>
__________________
"...you are a villain."
"And you are a Senator."
Othello Ii.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 08-18-2000, 03:18 PM
struuter struuter is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Quote:
Originally posted by Wobbie
<walks over to the life boat stutter is in and knocks on tarp>

Mind if I come in?

Oh my lord, you are soooooo funny. I am still laughing my ass off over your monkey post. That was classic.
You've won me over. I think Jester is looking for other ladies to entertain him. Besides, you need some tending to.
*touches scratched face* Come in here with me. You'll be safe...


...from the monkeys anyway.
__________________
Beguiled I am by all you state
Come close, let me reciprocate
And whisper to you words true meant
Of how your charms these arms torment
And then shall word meld unto kiss
As cyber-passion's virtual bliss
Compels devotion, fix'd and utter
To my precious flirty struuter--ianzin
Patron Saint of kind hearted words and Fluffemutter sandwiches.
Official SDMB Strumpet--'Knighted' by ChiefScott

Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 08-18-2000, 03:18 PM
Spider Spider is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Happy 50th.

Now for the real reason I'm here...Struuter, That was My Blue Heaven, right? Tell me now, cuz I go home in 1/2 an hour, and If I'm not sure by then I'm gonna have to waste this weekend renting that movie.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 08-18-2000, 03:18 PM
Jester Jester is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Okay, I think Wobbie's gotten a bit too overstimulated for a small boat.

<shoots Wobbie with a tranquilizer dart meant for the monkeys>

Ahhhhhh....that's better.

Thanks, Revedge. I've learned that, unless you either say something completely dumb, or get into a really intelligent debate, nobody ever notices you here. Guess which option I chose.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 08-18-2000, 03:23 PM
struuter struuter is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Quote:
Originally posted by Spider
Happy 50th.

Now for the real reason I'm here...Struuter, That was My Blue Heaven, right? Tell me now, cuz I go home in 1/2 an hour, and If I'm not sure by then I'm gonna have to waste this weekend renting that movie.
Well shit. Here I thought I was the reason you stopped by. Yes, it was the same. I've saved your weekend. Have a good one, Spider.
__________________
Beguiled I am by all you state
Come close, let me reciprocate
And whisper to you words true meant
Of how your charms these arms torment
And then shall word meld unto kiss
As cyber-passion's virtual bliss
Compels devotion, fix'd and utter
To my precious flirty struuter--ianzin
Patron Saint of kind hearted words and Fluffemutter sandwiches.
Official SDMB Strumpet--'Knighted' by ChiefScott

Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 08-18-2000, 03:55 PM
Jester Jester is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Alright, this party's starting to run out the necessities, so I think I'll raid the next boat that comes by.

<Raises pirate flag over row-boat>

Okay, now I just need some crew-members.

<Glances over at monkeys, smiles>

BINGO. As luck would have it, Weirddave stashed some little pirate outfits in the boat, too. (Don't ask me why, I got no clue). Heeeeeeeerrrrreeee, monkeysmonkeysmonkeys.

<Lunges at monkey, is immeadiately attacked by the others>

OWWWWW!! QUIT IT!! AHHHHH!!

<pant, pant> Okay, I finally got em dressed up, bt I also had to used all the materials in the first aid kit on myself. Oh well, small price to pay. Now, on to the looting.

<Sees a ship off on the horizon>

Beautiful. That should be an easy target. Plenty of room for beer on that one, and probably some more wimminfolk.
AHOY, MATIES!! SURRENDER YOUR BOOZE OR PREPARE TO BE BOARDED!!!

Hey, what does that sign on the side say? I can barely make it out. "Cooooo....aaaa....sssss....tttt.....Guuuu...aaaaa...rrrr.d"

"Coast Guard?" What kind of a ship name is tha....oh, shit.
Hey, guys, good joke, huh? Bet you really thought I was a pirate!
<Gunfire>
AHHHH!!! RUN!!!

<Comes back on a piece of driftwood from what used to be the rowboat>

Okay, anybody got any other ideas?
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 08-18-2000, 04:04 PM
Anniz Anniz is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Gratulerar(congratulations) on your first 50 posts.
Wow, it sounds dangerous to join you here,
so no boat here, well then I'll swim back....
probably safest, but who wants that on the outher hand....
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 08-18-2000, 04:15 PM
inoci inoci is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
jester! it isn't "coast guard", its "Ghost Card". it my personnal missile-cruiser. c'mon and hop aboard, and we can pillage these sea lanes for months!

and bring the monkeys. i have a plan...
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 08-18-2000, 04:16 PM
inoci inoci is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
oh, and we have to stop by sweden, just in case anniz gets drunk again. i hear she can get pretty frisky.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 08-18-2000, 04:21 PM
Anniz Anniz is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Quote:
Originally posted by inoci
oh, and we have to stop by sweden, just in case anniz gets drunk again. i hear she can get pretty frisky.
You're right don't give me to many beers,
then I can't behave.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 08-18-2000, 04:35 PM
Jester Jester is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Inoci, you are a godsend.

<addresses crowd, relatively small though it may be>

Hey everybody! Now we're drunk, wild, looking for trouble, and HEAVILY ARMED!!! Let's go!

Sweden, eh? Yeah, I'm all about that. Off we go!
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 08-18-2000, 04:43 PM
Wobbie Wobbie is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
<just before he gets under the tarp, a tranquilizer dart hits Wobbie in the ass and he falls into the boat. When he comes to, he sees Struuters face>

OUCH!!!! Ok who shot me in the ass? Who was it?

<Looks around to see everyone except him and struuter boarding a missle cruiser>

Oh well, looks like we're all alone, my dear. WOuld you mind going down and pulling that dart out of my ass. And while your down there, see what else you can find.

<pulls the tarp over them>
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 08-18-2000, 06:29 PM
fierra fierra is offline
Straight Dope Science Advisory Board
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,308
Jester my sweet -
could we make this a joint party, as I just hit my hundredth in Eve's date thread? If you object to semi hijacks, I'll take the band, the dancing girls, the booze & food & go to that really nice large empty thread over there...

Yeah, I got a hundred!!!! Dances tango in middle of room to the amazement of onlookers & suddenly realises she's dancing on her own when she does the bend backwards part...

Damn that hurt. Oh well! Congrats Jester, it's amazing how mpsims suddenly puts your post count up!
__________________
The UnaBoard
I intend to have a good time on this planet for as long as possible...and I'll be damned if any apocalypse is gonna get in my way!!!
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 08-19-2000, 09:45 PM
Jester Jester is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Yeah, sure, joint parties are fun. Besides, you said you got food, right? That's good, cause inoci's boat kicks ass, but the K-rations are starting to get stale.

Yes, I've nestled myself comfortably in MPSIMS, it just fits me. Let everyone else have their "intellectual" conversation. Throw me a beer and some flirting anytime!

Happy 100!
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 08-19-2000, 10:01 PM
Kaz Kaz is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Wait it's just me! don't shoot! Toss down a ladder or somethin so I can join that party!

Quote:
Originally posted by Jester
Hey everybody! Now we're drunk, wild, looking for trouble, and HEAVILY ARMED!!! Let's go!
Hey, that's drunk, wild, looking for trouble, heavily armed, and we have crazy monkeys in pirate suits!
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 08-19-2000, 10:08 PM
Jester Jester is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Hey, c'mon aboard! The more, the merrier! After all, more people means more inflation of Jester's ego! If you get me REALLY drunk on imaginary power, I may go for rookie of the year! I could do it! Really! Hey, guys? Why are you all laughing at that?

Oh, yeah, watch out for the monkeys, I think they have fleas.
<scratches all over>
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 08-19-2000, 10:36 PM
Tisme Tisme is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2000
Happy 50th Jester. Sorry, I can't join you out there, the rotton guy at the dock wouldn't let me have a boat.
Be seein' ya.
__________________
To be or not to be:- What a stupid bloody question !!
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 08-19-2000, 10:45 PM
Mamapotomus Mamapotomus is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2000
Hello! Beer delivery! I could only get two kegs on the jet-ski, I hope thats ok.... Happy 50, Jester!




Hey, I just noticed how close I'm getting to 100......
__________________
"Well behaved women rarely make history".. Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 08-19-2000, 10:56 PM
Derleth Derleth is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
::Flies over in flying boat, lands near the lifeboat.::

Hey, you can't have a good party without something stronger than beer!

::Tosses some cases over to the lifeboat. The cases float, and they have ropes for easy towing. Smart, ain't I?::

The brown bottles are whiskey, the clear ones are vodka, the green ones are absinthe. Or not, it depends on the jurisdiction.

::Notices crazed primates. Tosses them some bananas. Laughs as they grab wildly for them, eating them as fast as they can peels and all.::

Have fun! The plane's autopilot will be set to follow the party, in case something more interesting happens.
__________________
"Ridicule is the only weapon that can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them."
If you don't stop to analyze the snot spray, you are missing that which is best in life. - Miller
I'm not sure why this is, but I actually find this idea grosser than cannibalism. - Excalibre, after reading one of my surefire million-seller business plans.
Reply With Quote
Reply



Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:50 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@chicagoreader.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to: sdsubscriptions@chicagoreader.com.

Copyright 2013 Sun-Times Media, LLC.