The "Garfield" Where Jon Drinks Dog Semen

[bup]

About 15 years ago, I remember a Garfield comic strip, set at the vet's office, where Jon was trying to impress the veterinarian so he could get her to go out with him. He 'suavely' drank out of a glass that was sitting there, and the doctor told him he could expect healthy puppies (or something similar).

I really, really want to find it again (like, who wouldn't?), so I spent too much stupid time at the Garfield site going through archives.

I can't find it! The closest I can find is the week that starts with this one, but Monday's strip (rthe one I linked to) is not part of the story, which starts 'abruptly,' on Tuesday, IMO.

Is Garfield.com bowdlerizing the archive? Is that not the 'real' Garfield from 10/7/91? Note that the copyright on that date is 1991 PAWS Inc, whereas the rest of the week is United Features Syndicate.

Isn't there anyone who remembers this particular strip, or can tell me where to find it?

[Miller]

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that whatever Jon drank was some sort of medication for pregnant dogs, and not a steamin' cup of fido jizz.

[Good Egg]

Youre probably going to get a lot of views on this one; the title really catches your attention.

[Mr. Blue Sky]

Originally Posted by Miller

...a steamin' cup of fido jizz.

In the history of mankind, I can almost guarantee this combination of words has never been written up until this moment.

Sir, I salute you.

[NoClueBoy]

Originally Posted by Mr. Blue Sky

In the history of mankind, I can almost guarantee this combination of words has never been written up until this moment.

Sir, I salute you.

It was our class motto in High School.

[Birdmonster]

Wait. Wait. If this strip actually exists, it'll be like finding the Family Circus where Dolly disembowels the neighbor's daughter and cackles for 2 successive panels.

I'm subscribing in hopes of an answer, but fearing the "That's the beauty part. It doesn't DO anything" thread outcome.

[Marley23]

Originally Posted by Birdmonster

I'm subscribing in hopes of an answer, but fearing the "That's the beauty part. It doesn't DO anything" thread outcome.

If it IS real, you'd think it wouldn't be hard to find. This is the internet, after all. Nothing sleazy stays hidden for long.

[Smeghead]

Hang on, I think I remember this strip!

At least, a strip vaguely similar to it. I'm fairly sure that the implication was not that Jon was drinking dog semen, though I was young enough back then that I wouldn't have understood if it was. I think it was some other substance.

Anyway, I'd be willing to bet it was in one of the first 10 books, if that helps at all. We collected them when I was a kid, and that's where I seem to remember seeing it.

[Mr. Blue Sky]

I have a membership to Ucomics.com. This allows me to access every Garfield strip from day one. If you think you can narrow it down to at least the year, I'll be glad to look for it.

[hajario]

Originally Posted by Mr. Blue Sky

I have a membership to Ucomics.com. This allows me to access every Garfield strip from day one. If you think you can narrow it down to at least the year, I'll be glad to look for it.

He says in the OP that it's 10/7/91.

[Mr. Blue Sky]

Originally Posted by hajario

He says in the OP that it's 10/7/91.

I checked Ucomics and it has the same strip.

Anybody up for a trip to the library and some newspaper microfilm?

[mkl12]

Originally Posted by Marley23

If it IS real, you'd think it wouldn't be hard to find. This is the internet, after all. Nothing sleazy stays hidden for long.

There are 10.061 Garfield strips (exactly). Even if this one exists, I think it is very hard to find.

[Sattua]

I have seen this comic strip, too.

[HazelNutCoffee]

I have that strip, actually. It's in a pocket book called Garfield: In Tune that was published in 1991. Three cut strip.

Jon: "Have a cup of coffee, Jon." Why thanks, don't mind if I do.

[Jon swigs the mug down]
Liz: Congratulations Mr. Arbuckle.

Liz: You are going to give birth to a fine, healthy litter of puppies.
[Jon gags]
Garfield: I hate puppies!

[Captain Carrot]

Originally Posted by mkl12

There are 10.061 Garfield strips (exactly). Even if this one exists, I think it is very hard to find.

At first that looked funny (Exactly 61 thousandths of a comic strip!), and then I realized that mkl12, like most of the world, probably uses '.' for ',' in numbers, and thus the Amercian version would be 10,061.

[mobo85]

Originally Posted by bup

Note that the copyright on that date is 1991 PAWS Inc, whereas the rest of the week is United Features Syndicate.

The PAWS copyright notice appears on some of the older strips in the archive as well which should have a United Features copyright, including the very first strip from 1978. The strip was distributed by United Features until sometime in the mid-1990s when the rights to the Garfield character were purchased by PAWS, which was founded by Garfield's creator, Jim Davis. Some of the old strips have been colorized as well, while some still appear in black and white.

[mobo85]

Originally Posted by hajario

He says in the OP that it's 10/7/91.

He actually doesn't know the exact date. He was curious if the 10/7/91 strip was the same one that appears on the site. HazelNutCoffee, many of the Garfield collections keep the copyright notice and date of publication on the strip (which I like, since most strip collections omit these). Does your book show the date and year?

[Wile E]

Originally Posted by HazelNutCoffee

I have that strip, actually. It's in a pocket book called Garfield: In Tune that was published in 1991. Three cut strip.

Jon: "Have a cup of coffee, Jon." Why thanks, don't mind if I do.

[Jon swigs the mug down]
Liz: Congratulations Mr. Arbuckle.

Liz: You are going to give birth to a fine, healthy litter of puppies.
[Jon gags]
Garfield: I hate puppies!

I really think that if a veterinarian saw someone drink dog semen they wouldn't say "you are going to give birth to a fine, healthy litter of puppies" I think they'd just say "Hey, doofus! You just drank a steamin' cup of fido jizz!".


Thanks Miller.

[Danalan]

Originally Posted by Wile E

I really think that if a veterinarian saw someone drink dog semen they wouldn't say "you are going to give birth to a fine, healthy litter of puppies" I think they'd just say "Hey, doofus! You just drank a steamin' cup of fido jizz!".

Or, more likely, the vet would not be able to talk because he was gagging.

[JohnT]

Now the question becomes:

Why was there a steamin' cup of Fido jizz in a coffee cup? Was the vet just going to lift some poor bitch's tail and just pour it in her?

And if it was medicine, who here has a dog that can drink out of a cup? I'm looking at my basset hound and I'm just not seeing it...

[Johnny Angel]

Smeghead wrote:

At least, a strip vaguely similar to it. I'm fairly sure that the implication was not that Jon was drinking dog semen, though I was young enough back then that I wouldn't have understood if it was. I think it was some other substance.

My sister once came home with a Garfield strip from her Spanish class. It was in Spanish, but the gist was pretty clear, though I needed a translation for the punchline. It was something like this:

{Garfield gives John something to drink. John drinks and freaks out}
John: Salsa caliente! Aqua! Aqua!
{Garfield hands John the fishbowl. John drinks. He freaks out again.}
John: Aqua de pesces!
Garfield: {in Spanish} The cycle continues.

I'm doing it from memory, of course, and I don't really know any Spanish. But for some reason I found it absolutely hillarious in Spanish.

[jackelope]

Originally Posted by Mr. Blue Sky

In the history of mankind, I can almost guarantee this combination of words has never been written up until this moment.

Sir, I salute you.

Against my better judgment, I googled "steamin' cup of fido jizz" (with quotes to search for the exact phrase). Nothing.

Just to be sure, I googled it with "steaming" instead of "steamin'." Again nothing.

I am extremely relieved.

[Der Trihs]

Originally Posted by Smeghead

At least, a strip vaguely similar to it. I'm fairly sure that the implication was not that Jon was drinking dog semen, though I was young enough back then that I wouldn't have understood if it was. I think it was some other substance.

Dog urine, for a doggie pregnancy test ?

[Anastasaeon]

Originally Posted by Smeghead

At least, a strip vaguely similar to it. I'm fairly sure that the implication was not that Jon was drinking dog semen, though I was young enough back then that I wouldn't have understood if it was. I think it was some other substance.

I'm like you in this sense; I'd like to think it was some other substance.... but... but what?

I hate to overanalyse a cartoon strip (particularly a Garfield strip), but you know... to determine if a dog is pregnant, an experienced vet can often just feel the abdomen, and the only other thing I can think of is ultrasound, which I've heard of used sometimes. A vet could also draw blood to look for some kind of special pregnant-dog hormone (sounds like... relaxen? or something like that). A urine test is not necessary for pregnant dogs; their menstrual periods are not like humans. I might be getting some of my facts screwy, but I think that's basically it.

So it does make me wonder... was Davis implying semen? Or something more (though possibly misinformed) innocent?

[BrainGlutton]

I hope Jim Davis looks in on this thread. He needs fresh ideas.

[Savannah]

Originally Posted by mkl12

There are 10.061 Garfield strips (exactly). Even if this one exists, I think it is very hard to find.

I think the decimal belongs there. There were 10.061 original Garfield strips. Then the ideas ran out.

Of those, 2.84 were funny.

[Mr. Blue Sky]

Originally Posted by Savannah

I think the decimal belongs there. There were 10.061 original Garfield strips. Then the ideas ran out.

Of those, 2.84 were funny.

...and 2.8 of those involved lasagna.

[Wile E]

Okay, since no one has said this yet ...

"steamin' cup of fido jizz"

BAND NAME!

[Mr. Blue Sky]

Originally Posted by Wile E

Okay, since no one has said this yet ...

"steamin' cup of fido jizz"

BAND NAME!

Nah. Sounds more like the title of someone's album. Frank Zappa would have probably used it.

[Polycarp]

Originally Posted by jackelope

Against my better judgment, I googled "steamin' cup of fido jizz" (with quotes to search for the exact phrase). Nothing.

Just to be sure, I googled it with "steaming" instead of "steamin'." Again nothing.

I am extremely relieved.

Of course, the people monitoring Google are now frantically tracing your IP.

[Sublight]

For some reason, a thread about Garfield and "steamin' cup of fido jizz" brings up Google ads for "The preparation to hajj" and "Holy Ghost Preaching." This could be the basis for a very disturbing new religion.

Haven't been able to find the strip in question, but I do remember that punchline.

[BrainGlutton]

Originally Posted by Sublight

For some reason, a thread about Garfield and "steamin' cup of fido jizz" brings up Google ads for "The preparation to hajj" and "Holy Ghost Preaching." This could be the basis for a very disturbing new religion.

. . . And Fido said, "Drink this in remembrance of me." . . .

[Good Egg]

Told you it would get a lot of views.

[LorieSmurf]

Originally Posted by Anastasaeon

I'm like you in this sense; I'd like to think it was some other substance.... but... but what?

My first thought was pregnant dog vitamins or something like that.

[Superdude]

Originally Posted by JohnT

Was the vet just going to lift some poor bitch's tail and just pour it in her?

It was Melissa Etheridge's dog.

[HazelNutCoffee]

Originally Posted by mobo85

He actually doesn't know the exact date. He was curious if the 10/7/91 strip was the same one that appears on the site. HazelNutCoffee, many of the Garfield collections keep the copyright notice and date of publication on the strip (which I like, since most strip collections omit these). Does your book show the date and year?

Ah HA! It's right here: 1990. And the date is 5.30: May 30, I believe.

[don't ask]

In fact a simple search of "fido jizz" returns nothing, indicating it's suitability as a product name or trademark. Not surprisingly www.fidojizz.com is available.

[Larry Mudd]

Originally Posted by Sublight

For some reason, a thread about Garfield and "steamin' cup of fido jizz" brings up Google ads for "The preparation to hajj" and "Holy Ghost Preaching." This could be the basis for a very disturbing new religion.

Perfectly sensible. "Fido" means "faithful" and "jism" originally meant "spirit" or "energy." So "fido jizz" could parse as "energy of the faith" or "faithful spirit."

Either that or that someone who's contemplating a steamin' cup of fido jizz needs a drastic intervention.

[Trunk]

It could be that Jon hadn't actually drunk spunk, but that the vet was just pulling one over on him.

Isn't she kind of a wise cracker?

[tim314]

Originally Posted by HazelNutCoffee

Ah HA! It's right here: 1990. And the date is 5.30: May 30, I believe.

Yep, here it is.
http://www.garfield.com/comics/comic...?1990-ga900530

[Trunk]

I love the last panel. Looks like Jon's about to tap dat.

[cactus waltz]

I would like to know why Jon believes it to be coffee.

[Fear Itself]

Originally Posted by cactus waltz

I would like to know why Jon believes it to be coffee.

It doesn't look much like a coffee cup, it has no handle that I can see.

[Sublight]

I think the fact that Jon is a colossal clueless dork is usually sufficient reason for most of the things he does in the strip.

[Merkwurdigliebe]

I wish I had read he strip before, because now I can't figure out what it could be otherwise. Can someone come up with any way that it is supposed to be funny without it being fido jizz?

[UrbanChic]

Originally Posted by Merkwurdigliebe

Can someone come up with any way that it is supposed to be funny without it being fido jizz?

Interestingly enough, I assumed, just from reading the OP, Jon drank a cup of zygotes or embryos. I don't know, however, why you'd have so many that you'd have anything more than a couple of drops, at most.

[Uncommon Sense]

This may call for an e-mail to the author of the strip.
Anyone have Mr. Davis' contact info??

[silenus]

On a related note: I wonder if the IT people here at work can tell what thread I'm reading, or whether it just indicates that I'm surfing the Dope. If it's the latter...whew! If it's the former.......it may be time to buy the IT guys some scotch. Very good scotch.

[Revtim]

Wasn't there's a Peanuts cartoon that very week where Lucy guzzled Snoopy's spooge? Maybe it was common at the time.

[Birdmonster]

Originally Posted by Uncommon Sense

This may call for an e-mail to the author of the strip.
Anyone have Mr. Davis' contact info??

I'd be shocked if Jim Davis still wrote the strip. The spunk-drinking goodness left Garfield long ago. But, should some intrepid soul demand answers, demand them here.