But he was no ordinary duck, see? He was a vampire duck. He lived, or rather, un-lived in New Orleans and frequently hung out at the Café du Monde munching on beignets and the occasional tourist.
Yeah, but did his qvack echo?
Was he a *noble *vampire duck? A good guy? On a mission of redemption? Did he help the hopeless? Was he a vampire duck with a soul?
Or did the duck just suck?
You tell me. I’ve just given you a blood-sucking duck with a penchant for coffee, pastry and high b.a.c. blood.
(It’s kind of a “continue the story” thread.)
As for the quack echoing, let’s say “No.” For the same reason a vimpire dude doesn’t have a reflection.
The duck lived in a house in New Orleans that they called the Rising Sun. It had been the downfall of many a poor boy, but the duck wasn’t poor — he had quite a nest egg. That’s how he was able to pay his bill.
The duck, whose name was the Count Drake de Coy, had had little success finding vampire slaves in New Orleans lately, and finally resorted to taking an advertisement out in the newspaper.
One day, in the classifieds, he spied …
.a business for sale. It was a contractor that installed Solar Energy Eqipment and Tanning Beds. He was strangely…intrigued…
For he had a deeply buried death wish, but, well, being already dead, or undead as the case may be, his wish manifest itself as a desire to see the sun. Since that wasn’t possible, he decide he would live vicariously through the solar installers. Theu, of course, were not the vampire buddies he’d hoped for. They were instead…
Inigo dear, are you feeling all right? I hope you’re not hallucinating, like that time when you thought that guy killed your father.
not quacker but Quakers :eek:
ordinary solar equipment and tanning bed installation guys, with one exception. They fitted their tanning beds with tiny fiber optic cameras, recorded video of the hot babes during their tanning sessions, and sold memberships for their porn site on the internet. One day, as Drake was reviewing the previous day’s video…
…he was appalled to see a video of the SDMB’s own Inigo, engrossed with a certain un-named british supermodel sharing massive doses of…them fancy pastries I can’t spell!!! The scandal, the shock. And Inigo was robbed of his modeling contracts. But the duck lived happily ever after, or at least until it wandered one day into Chinatown, where it met an unfortunate fate concerning L’Orange sauce.
I am surprised (and glad) that he was not a Annie Rice-STyle Homosexual duck, who also enjoys engaging in necromancy, as I have heard is popular with our ducky friends.
Munch
Hey, this is some good Duck L’Orange. Anyone want some?
(Hey, wait! What happens when you eat a temporarily dead vampire duck? :eek: )
No no no. This is no good. I want a new duck. One that won’t drive me crazy waddling all around. One who’ll teach me how to swim and help me not to drown, and show me how to get down. How to get down, baby.
GET IT?
We got it, we got it. 1985 was over a long time ago, pal.
But hey! Nice mullet. :rolleyes:
Heh! Huey Dewey Lewis? Never thought of that before. Very VERY good!
OK, since we’ve eaten the poor unfortunate vampire duck, we’ll have to start over.
Once upon a time there was a duck. But he was no ordinary duck, see? He was a Rock-n-Rollin duck and he lived in San Francisco…
which made him a f-aaaaaa-bu-lous duck. This duck owned one of San Francisco’s most renowned massage parlors located in the heart of the Castro district. One day two of the duck’s best and most frequent customers came in and said…
Ohmigod! Did you like know that your quack just like totally doesn’t echo? That is like soooooo not normal, man. Is that like from bad acid, or what???
Whereupon the duck kicked their butts so hard, his feet went flat. And he yelled, “Some friends you are!! I tell you my deepest, darkest secret and you blab it around town. Assholes!!”
“Assholes!”
“Assholes!”
“Assholes!”
The duck froze in awe. From the far walls of Alcatraz, he could hear himself echoing. He crept to the doorway and peeked around the jamb (thereby proving that he was a peeking duck), and said…