If I’m a recovering alcoholic? Absolutely not. I may not know exactly where the line is which, once crossed, leads to my spending a week in a coma from alcohol poisoning; that line may be raising a goblet of wine to my mouth and smelling its intoxicating aroma.
If things happen as you describe–I don’t know the queen’s going to invite me up ahead of time–then I thank her for the offer of the goblet and say, “Thank you; may I drink a sip of water instead?” If she refuses, it’s on her head: given the high percentage of Americans who are recovering alcoholics, her offer to me is extremely ill-advised.
Guzzle the wine, grab a yeoman’s halberd, scream “No taxation without domestication!” at the top of your lungs and hack away at the TV camera before ralphing all over the Queen. Blame the whole thing on the Tories. Sell your story to the tabloids.
Offering someone a drink is not ill-advised. Offering a complete stranger a drink of alcohol as part of a ritual they weren’t expecting in front of an important audience without consulting with them ahead of time and going over the ritual? Ill-advised.
I down the glass of wine…then I chug the bottle she poured the wine from…then I punch her in the face and throw the bottle at one of those guards with the big hats.
Must be a tiring vacation. As long as the ball and chain (wife =, not Queen) is not looking at me warily, I would slap the wine out of her hand and run around yelling, “The Redcoats are coming! The Redcoats are coming!”
Then some women in their underwear would follow me around while someone plays “Yakkity Sax”. I saw that in a documentary or something on BBC America.
Which is exactly why abstinence programs don’t work for a lot of people. By making people believe that even one sniff of wine will push them right off the wagon, we create a self-fulfilling prophecy wherein if the former alcoholic slips up and takes a drink he might as well cash in his chips (literally) and go full-on alky again, because he’s a total failure. Abstinence may work for some people, especially those people who do have a physical lack of tolerance for alcohol, but it is not for everyone.
Now, see. You lost me right there.
The odds of that happening are so miniscule. Well.
I’ve been in recovery for several years. It isn’t that I think that one sip will do me in, or cause me to keep drinking. It’s that I personally think it’s important enough not to even give in to that one sip, or to cheat myself in any way.
Not even the Queen can convince me.
I’d thank her, but say that I can’t drink spirits of any kind.
If I am tethered to an ant hill, and have several people pouring booze down my throat, then manage to escape, all bets are off. I’d talk to my sponsor, and get on with life.
Sure, it’s not for everyone, and I’m no cheerleader for AA–but I’ve heard too many stories of addicts who thought as you did and who were terribly wrong to dismiss AA completely. For many alcoholics, one sip is enough to send them over the edge. Surely you’re not denying that?
I won’t deny it, but I’ll ask for a cite before I believe it. I suspect this is one of those tales that “everybody knows” and AA and the like perpetuate without data to back it up. I stand ready with retraction should reliable and bias-free data be presented.
Since I’m not an alcoholic, I’ll change the OP to my overcome-addiction-of-choice. Yeah, I’d take a puff of the cigarette.