Greatest movie and literary lines never spoken

Cafe Society
1

This can also extend to speeches and other near memes that were never actually said by the original person from any source.

The most famous ones I can think of:

Jimmy Cagney never said “You dirty rat! You killed my brother!” in any of his movies.

Humphrey Bogart did not say “Play it again, Sam.”

Cary Grant never said “Judy! Judy! Judy!” (though George ‘Goober’ Lindsey did many times)

The Apollo 13 astronauts said “Houston, we’ve had a problem here” rather than “Houston… we have a problem”.

Any others that come to mind?

2

Captain Kirk never said, “Beam me up, Scotty.”

Tony Curtis didn’t say “Yonduh is da castle of my faddah.”

3

Capt. Kirk never said “Beam me up Scotty” in the entire run of the TV show, I can’t recall if they had him utter the line in any of the movies.

4

In Treasure of the Sierra Madre, Gold Hat doesn’t say, “We don’t need no stinking badges.” What he says instead is, “Badges? We ain’t got no badges. We don’t need no badges. I don’t have to show you any stinking badges!”

5

Holmes never said “Elementary, my dear Watson.” “Elementary”, yes. “My dear Watson”, many times. But not both together.

6

James Cagney never said “Top of the world ma”
What he really said was “Made it, Ma! Top of the world!”

7

Vito Corleone never said, “I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

The exact wording was, IIRC, don’t.

8

Alan Ladd didn’t say “A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do” in Shane.

I think the line was “I couldn’t do what I gotta do…”

9

Are you sure about this?

10

Quite. My blood alcohol is probably slightly above the legal limit to drive right now, and I’ve never read the book, but I’m quite sure Brando says it, “I’ll make him an offer he don’t refuse.”

11

From the Internet Movie Database:

• Michael: My father made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.
• [after being asked how he will arrange to buy a hotel from Moe Greene]
Michael: I’ll make him an offer he can’t refuse.
• Don Corleone: I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse.

12

Darth Vader didn’t say “Luke, I am your father”, exactly.
I believe Strother Martin didn’t say “What we have here is a failure to communicate” in Cool Hand Luke (though I’ve never seen the film). I understand the “a” isn’t in there.
I’m not sure if Johnny Weismuller ever said “Me Tarzan, You Jane” in his Tarzan movies. I think it was “Tarzan … Jane”. In any event, no other movie Tarzan did. And in the books he’s positively eloquent. But that’s a whole 'nother topic, about how the movies really changed things from the books (Like Fu Manchu’s moustache, and the Giant Squid in Jules Verne movies)

13

Darth - Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.
Luke - He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
Darth - No…*I * am your father.

14

IIRC, it comes out something like “What we have heah…is FAILUH…to C’MMUNICATE” with the accent on “failuh” and “communicate”.

VCNJ~

15

IRL they didn’t say it, But in the film Apollo 13, Tom Hanks does in fact say “Houston, we have a problem.”

16

Queen Victoria never uttered or wrote “We are not amused”.

Her diaries are full of the phrase “I was very much amused”, though.

17

Hannibal Lecter never says “Hello, Clarice.” He greets her with “Good afternoon, Clarice,” always attentive to the time of day.

18

Hamlet doesn’t say “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well.” It’s “I knew him, Horatio.”

Also, Gertrude says “The lady doth protest too much, methinks” not “Methinks the lady doth protest too much.”

And Falstaff’s “The better part of valour is discretion” is often misquoted as “Discretion is the better part of valour.”

19

Rhett did not say “Frankly, my dear Scarlet, I don’t give a damn.” He actually just said “My dear, I don’t give a damn.”

20

Huh, I never heard it that way. I always heard people say, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”