Ok, our bid on the house was accepted, now begins the hell of packing up all the crap around this place.
Step one: Buy boxes. As you can see, the package the boxes come in is sealed shut with tape. Not a problem, just grab something sharp to slice through that tape.
Step two: Slice through that tape. Should be easy, right? Just take the scissors and fwwwip right through the tape.
However, this is how not to open a box. So don’t do what I did. Through the magic of a half-assed Photoshopping, we can now see a recreation of how I was holding the scissors, and how I went about using them.
We can also see a recreation of the end result (link not male-friendly).
The thing that most shocks me about the OP (I’m too used to living with a man who does that kind of stuff) is this: You buy boxes? Huh. I thought that’s what work and the grocery store were for. Anyway, carry on.
The only thing I can say is that sharp injury trauma to the groin through a pair of jeans is less painful, IMHO, than a blow from a blunt instrument, assuming that you didn’t actually draw blood.
I worked in a neurophysiology lab for a while. We used to order Tetrodotoxin, a potent neurotoxin found in pufferfish. http://www.chm.bris.ac.uk/motm/ttx/ttx.htm
The drug came in a tiny glass vial. The vial was in a tin can that had to be opened with a can opener. The can was in a vinyl envelope that had to be cut open with scissors. The envelope was in a box, which was in a slightly bigger box, which was in a slightly bigger box. The external box was covered with warnings.
After opening a shipment of tetrodotoxin, the lab looked like a tornado had blown through.
As a professional box maker, putting boxes into boxes is basically what I do, not that most people need a box expert to do that. Taking boxes out of boxes is a different story though. They teach us the first day of box making how important it is to cut away from yourself, especially “down there”. The second day is pretty much spent on thinking outside the box.
I gotta agree with yellowval though, Wal Mart at midnight nets some decent moving boxes (the ones I make are too small to be of practical use) without the added benefit of home castration.
Obviously, the problem is that you were trying to take pictures while opening the box. Next time, put the camera down while using sharp instruments.
On buying boxes, there’s a huge difference between packing brand new, equally sized boxes and a bunch of beat up, randomly sized boxes. If I was smarter, my last move would have used 3-4 sizes of box, all brand new from the same source, all packed with brand new packing paper (instead of old Village Voices, the porn ads are fun though) and top quality tape.
I can’t see much in that last photo. Could you take another one with your pants removed, so we can see the full extent of the damage? And maybe from several angles?
After mopping the floor, I was rinsing the mop out in the sink. The kitchen was quite narrow, so I had to point the handle up. I did not realize how low the light fixture hung and hit it with the handle. Glass rained down on me both in large chunks and in fine splinters. The floor was still wet with ammonia water, and apparently no one could hear my screams, so I had to walk out without help. This was particularly nasty because I had been standing on tiptoes on one foot and had glass splinters in my feet. I was picking out glass from all over, especially from my scalp, for days.
