EW! Those nasty Carl's Jr. ads are BACK!

[Ruffian]

Ick, ack, ook, blech, barf, bleh, snarf, snort, yuck, yar...

For a while, we were mercifully spared from the gross-out "Don't bother me, I'm eating" ads. For those of you on the east cost, Carl's Jr. is a burger joint that recently bought out the Hardee's franchise (so they both sport the SuperStar logo). Anyhoo, these ads consist entirely of someone eating a burger or fries close-up. Slurp, crunch, munch, chew, chew, slurp, crunch...bleeeehhhHHHHHH!

This latest ad I just saw was a close up of a very attractive lady in nice make-up and expensive clothing. I think it was supposed to be sexy...close up of her mouth chomping on a french fry, of her wiping the corners of her mouth, taking a big bite of the burger, etc. Maybe that would be sexy if she was eating strawberries...or whipped cream...or something other than a freakin' HAMBURGER! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! YAK! Bleh...ick...(and hey, I like Carl's Jr. hamburgers!...but not watching noisy close ups of people EATING them!) Watch gorgeous take a big gross bite of a big fat slimy burger, listen to it crunch, listen to gorgeous as she noisily chews and gulps and...ACK!

Make it go away! Make it go away!

[yosemite]

The ones that always made me squirm are the ones where the sauce from the burger drips (in big globs) on everything - clothes, etc. I think those are Carl's Jr. ads as well. I always cringe when I see them, thinking of trying to clean the messed up clothes. (Of course, I think the "drips" in the ads were digitally added, but still...)

[aha]

Nothing like dripping grease and wilted tomatoes to stir the passion from within.

[CoyoteFish]

I agree. Those ads are disgusting. There is nothing appetizing about hearing people chomping and smacking one of those big-ass burgers. Ugh. I've decided that I will never go to Carl's Jr. again just because their ads are so nasty. It seems like someone would've complained before now.

[Mockingbird]

How about the ads where they had former rock stars performing? They also donate money to Right To Life groups and other Christian Coalition type places. I won't eat there... And I miss Hardee's, DAMMIT!

[SPOOFE]

Coyotefish...

I've decided that I will never go to Carl's Jr. again just because their ads are so nasty. It seems like someone would've complained before now.

Hastur...

I won't eat there

You're both pussies. You're grossed out by the sight of somebody EATING?!? You must not be a very fun date.

[yosemite]

And I miss Hardee's, DAMMIT!

Eh. Screw Hardees. (I guess I never really ate there much.)

One thing about the "new" Hardees. It ain't Carl's Jr. It doesn't have fried zucchini. Phooey.

[Monster104]

In California those commercials never stopped.

[El_Kabong]

Thought I recognized that star on the Hardee's signs. Now they need to import the whole Carl's Jr. menu. I lived in southern Cal. back in the early '80's, and one of those big, sloppy, Carl Jr. burgers was the greatest hangover cure ever invented. Too bad about the ads, though.

[Phouchg]

Screw Carl's Jr. - since moving from So Cal to the east coast 6 months, I miss IN-N-OUT burger the most!!!

What I wouldn't give for a double double w/extra spread right about now...

[Eve]

Along those same lines, the "Got Milk?" ads nauseate me. I do NOT want to see people with milk smeared on their faces, especially guys with moustaches! Even if I liked milk, those ads would turn me off it forever!

[Jack Batty]

Since we're in slight hijack mode . . .
There's an ad for Rice Krispies Squares which features an obese sweaty guy fashioning a life size woman out of the stuff. His dog ends up eating the head of the doll. At the end there is a shot of this fat, unshaven, sweaty face - close-up on the mouth - shoving a Square in his mouth. It looks like bad '70's porno. What's worse, is they show it at the movies along with the coming attractions. Imagine those Carl's jr. ads on the big screen. Ugh.

[neuroman]

Originally posted by Hastur
And I miss Hardee's, DAMMIT!

And I miss fuckin' Roy Rogers. :sigh:

[Eve]

"And I miss fuckin' Roy Rogers. :sigh:"

—Yeah, you and Dale Evans . . .

[Jack Batty]

Originally posted by Eve
"And I miss fuckin' Roy Rogers. :sigh:"

—Yeah, you and Dale Evans . . .

BWAHAHAHAAHHAA.

Oh, that's priceless.

[SPOOFE]

I guess I'm the only person on the planet who actually loves Carl's Jr's food.

However, I do agree with Phouchg (how is that pronounced?)... In 'n Out is much better.

[Mockingbird]

Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly
Hastur...

You're both pussies. You're grossed out by the sight of somebody EATING?!? You must not be a very fun date. [/b]

No, [b]dolt[/]. I won't eat there because the owner donates some of the profits to zealous conservative christian causes, including the 700 Club. Why should I spend money at a homophobe owning restaurant so he can use the money I spend there to cause me problems?

[Jack Batty]

Originally posted by Hastur
I won't eat there because the owner donates some of the profits to zealous conservative christian causes, including the 700 Club.

Hastur, I'm not saying I don't believe you, but I've never heard that before. Do you have some cites? I'd like to know, because it would cause quite a moral dilemma for me, as I happen to love Carl's Double Western Bacon Cheeseburgers.

[BoBettie]

Originally posted by Eve
"And I miss fuckin' Roy Rogers. :sigh:"

—Yeah, you and Dale Evans . . .

Eve,
That was WAY TOO EASY!
I laughed my ass off!
Zette

[SPOOFE]

Hastur...

Why should I spend money at a homophobe owning restaurant so he can use the money I spend there to cause me problems?

Same reason I give to all PETA types when they ask me why I eat meat... It tastes fucking great.

But my apologies... my original post was referring to everybody who decided not to eat at Carl's because their commercials depicted people who happened to not be using their sald fork properly. I guess you just happened to get lost in the crowd.

[Guinastasia]

The 700 CLUB? EW!

STupid Pat Robertson...he always used to run overtime and my cartoons wouldn't be on!

Did you hear he calls HINDUs devil worshipers? Rat bastard!

I like Wendy's meself...LOVE the chicken caesar pita wraps...do they still make them? The one at the mall stopped... which is a damn shame...

[Ruffian]

I even said:

and hey, I like Carl's Jr. hamburgers!

in my OP.

I just can't stand the TV ads. (Well, I like the "Without us, some people would starve" ones.) It's like nails on a chalkboard for me. People who make too much noise when they eat are a major pet peeve for me. I don't mean a normal amount of crunching and stuff...I mean the excessive slurps, smacks, blah blah BLECHs that these spots exemplify.

:::twitch twitch twitch:::

[Diane]

Almost as bad as the noise is the sight of the half chewed food sloshing around in their mouths. :::shiver::: They need to bring back that hot billboard guy.

No one has tasted a good burger until you have tried Big Ben's Burger Bar. I think there are only two locationes and both are in Utah. Huge, juicy hamburgers (or buffalo burgers), greasy, crunchy homemade french fries with fry sauce (ketchup and mayo), and an over the top milk shake.

Hmmmmm mmmmm mmmm

[CoyoteFish]

Spoofe, I don't mind the sight of people eating, and I never mentioned anything about the sight of people eating. But as I mentioned in my post, the noise fucking grosses me out. It's turned me off their food.

[SPOOFE]

Coyotefish, next time you're munching on chips or leg o' lamb (well, okay, food in general), pay close attention to the noises that slosh around inside your jaw.

In addition... if a couple of exaggerated eating-noises or the sight of someone eating, even if they are absolutely disgusting (which I think they are), disgusts you so much that you absolutely cannot eat at that restaurant, then you have a very weak stomach. Try watching the opening to Seven a couple dozen times, and that'll cure your excessive queasiness

Guinastasia...

I like Wendy's meself...LOVE the chicken caesar pita wraps...

I like Wendy's only because their drive-thru window is open 'til 2:00 AM (at least here in Southern California it is). Since I'm out late on the rare times when I'm out at all, that tends to be a bright spot.

Hey, I'm curious... has anyone ever been to Fatburger? Oooooh, man, those things are great... you can actually feel your arteries clogging as you eat... ::drools::

[Lexicon]

Bah!
Fuck all that. Those commercials (specifically the one with the supermodel) make me hungry and horny all at once.
I don't know whether I should jerk off or go eat or both and if both, which one first?

I think they're awesome, and that they work really well. Further, Carl's Jr., IMO, has the best burger's (fast food) around town. I love 'em, it's no wonder I'm such a slobby bastard with fat saggy man-breasts.

At any rate, I just wanted to say that those ads rock, and I hope we keep them for awhile.
In fact, I think I'll tape one.

BTW, How's your boobs, Ruff? Feelin' any better?
I hope you're okay!

[Talkinsquirrel]

Originally posted by Eve
"And I miss fuckin' Roy Rogers. :sigh:"

—Yeah, you and Dale Evans . . .

I don't get it...

[Eve]

Mid-20th century pop-culture Cliff Notes for Talkinsquirrel:

Dale Evans was Roy Rogers' wife.

[CoyoteFish]

Okay, Spoofe, now you mentioned the sight of someone eating again. Like I said before, watching people eat doesn't disgust me. The amplified sounds of chomping and slurping does.
I admit that, when it comes to that, I am more than a bit squeamish. Listening to my father-in-law eat sets my teeth on edge. I will take your advice, however, about watching the opening of Seven again. Maybe it will make me realize that some things are more disgusting than the sound of somebody eating.

[writefetus]

Hardees? HARDEES?
.... that is the worst fuckin' food on the planet, the beef anyway...( the fried chicken and bisquits are pretty good!) tough, dry and tasteless crap, not fit to feed a starving dog, a GD shame that a cow had to die in order to make it, I would sooner return to a pile of my own ( or my dog's ) vomit than eat at hardees

[Ogre]

Hardee's used to be good...until they were bought out by Carl Jr. or whatever. They had great breakfast biscuits, and their fried chicken was awesome. Ever since the big change, all their food has been dry, tasteless crap. Of course, their burgers were never really much to scream about.

Now for a good burger, nobody beats Gator's. Half a pound of cooked to order, Cajun-seared beef with andouille and all the fixins. Yum!

[Ogre]

Sorry about the "dry, tasteless crap repeat." It was unintentional, I swear.

[Mr. Cynical]

Originally posted by Lexicon
Bah!
Fuck all that. Those commercials (specifically the one with the supermodel) make me hungry and horny all at once.
I don't know whether I should jerk off or go eat or both and if both, which one first?

I was just about to say that!!! I find them vaguely sexy, in fact. I hear them, and I just think Oral Sex. It's almost Pavlovian.

I love 'em, it's no wonder I'm such a slobby bastard with fat saggy man-breasts.

I was just about to say that!

[Drain Bead]

I like Wendy's meself...LOVE the chicken caesar pita wraps...do they still make them? The one at the mall stopped... which is a damn shame...

I was just at my local Wendy's yesterday (Columbus, OH, since you asked) and they had no pitas on the entire menu. I think they're getting rid of them. Crying shame, because I loved them too. Dave Thomas can go stick his cock up his nose.

[Jack Batty]

Originally posted by Drain Bead
Dave Thomas can go stick his cock up his nose.

He can?!?

Hell, I'd pay to see that.

[Gozu Tashoya]

I think it has to be said "If it doesn't get all over the face, it doesn't belong in your face," doesn't sound like the motto for a burger joint, more like the packaging for Sloppy Slurpy Cum Suckers 23....

_{(Note: Copyright for SSCS 23, assuming it really exists, is property of whomever the hell made it.)}

[Skelji]

You guys are a fucking riot!
Dale Evans, man boobs, and Dave Thomas' sinus problem.

[SPOOFE]

Dave Thomas can go stick his cock up his nose.

If that's true, he's a lucky old son-of-a-bitch. My cock barely reaches my chin, much less my nose.

[Mr. Cynical]

Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly

If that's true, he's a lucky old son-of-a-bitch. My cock barely reaches my chin, much less my nose.

Just bend your neck a bit, and presto, you're all set. You, too, can have one giant nostril.

[Ruffian]

Originally posted by Mr. Cynical
I was just about to say that!!! I find them vaguely sexy, in fact. I hear them, and I just think Oral Sex. It's almost Pavlovian.

Oral sex?! You better hope for the love of God and your throbbing member that she doesn't CHOMP DOWN on it the way she does in those commercials. And I'm not even going to get into the chewing factor.

[Lexicon]

It's not that, Ruff.
It's the fact that she's totally engrossed in what she's doing with her mouth.
She's "...using her hands and maintaining eye contact", if you will, that makes us want to lick butter off her ass.

<!shiver!>
I LOVE that commercial!

[vincenz]

I hate all the Carl's Jr. ads so much I mute them and change the channel. Drives me nuts if I can't find the remote in time. All the girls that are supposed to be so sexy look like cows.

[DRY]

Originally posted by Ogre
Sorry about the "dry, tasteless crap repeat." It was unintentional, I swear.

That's OK, I'm sure you aren't the only one who hates my posts...

Re Dale Evans and Roy Rogers: the fact that Eve had to explain it to some makes me feel incredibly OLD!

[Ruffian]

I'm sorry, Lex, but I am getting a really great laugh out of the fact that this commercial turns you on. Not that there's anything wrong with that. It just sounds like you have some weird food fetish. Eye contact? Using her hands? With a burger? "Ooh, my sexy burger, how shall I chomp down on your fat-dripping corpse, how shall I chew your meat into indistinguishable puke-colored pulp in my cute sexy mouth...mmm, ahh, yes, I love how you feel mashed up between my teeth..."

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[Lexicon]

I don't mind if you're laughing at me, Ruff. I kinda fancy the idea of making you smile. But...

Well, it's not like you're thinking.
It's the fact that:
Wow, holy shit. She's really enjoying herself, she's totally focused on what she's doing...
She's into it.
She's diggin' it. I bet she's third knucklin' herself right now. Man, she's all hot and bothered, all over a stupid burger. I wonder if she's like that in bed, when her head is between your legs, and she's just going to town, because she really, really, REALLY enjoys herself.

It's like this: If she enjoys and gets into eating a burger to that degree, imagine what she would do with her lover's cock.
Oh man, that is great commercial.

Either that, or me an' Mr. C are just horny bastards.

Whatever, the point is that it's not the fact that she's eating a burger that turns me on, it's all the things about the way she's eating it that make me get all sweaty on the upper lip.

Let's face it, men are dogs. Have you ever noticed that it doesn't matter what you say to a dog, it's all about your tone and expression? Same thing...

[Mr. Cynical]

Originally posted by Lexicon
Either that, or me an' Mr. C are just horny bastards

I second the latter.

[Talkinsquirrel]

Originally posted by DRY
Re Dale Evans and Roy Rogers: the fact that Eve had to explain it to some makes me feel incredibly OLD! [/b]

Don't worry I don't even know who Dale Evans or Roy Rogers is. Were they famous or something?

[SPOOFE]

I guess the reason I don't find those commercials to be disgusting in the slightest is because I know what "disgusting" really is. After all... who introduced the board to "munging"?

[yosemite]

http://www.royrogers.com/

[Danielinthewolvesden]

In& Out: greatest burger CHAIN ever. Wendys: out here in the bay area is the worst, as Dave insists on paying minimum wage, which is OK in Iowa, but can't be done out here-McDs pays some $8, and I$O some $9.

The OWNER of Carls does donate heavily to certain- umm- "causes", but the Co does not. If that makes a diff. My Fiance won't eat there for that reason. Myself: their food is not good enuf to bother (mmm, In & Out...). I don't care for the ads, myself.

Right now I am slightly pissed at BK, as they stopped having thousand-island dressing, aka 'secret sauce" available. I don't care for ketchup & mayo, Yecchh.