PART 1
First, let me say that not all cops are assholes, as I’m sure a few of them are pretty nice guys, but Washington DC must be located in a valley because most of our cops are shitheads, and as we all know shit slides downhill.
About a month ago, I was cooking dinner, and decided to open my back door to get some air. My neighbor came running to my back door to tell me my parked car had been hit by a car that had left the scene. Apparently, the gentleman who hit my car, stumbled (he was shit-faced drunk) out of his car to survey the damage to my car and the car behind me, got back in his car, tried to do a K-turn (proceeding to hit my car and the car behind me again), and then left the scene. Thankfully, I was alerted (about 15 minutes later) by a handful of witnesses who were able to take down his tag number and call the police.
About 2.5 hours later, the cops show up, and begin to file an accident report. I give them my info, tell them that there are witnesses, and then have to go find all the people who saw the accident myself. They come back to the scene to tell the police what happened. They cops tell me that despite having the tag number and witnesses, they don’t know what can be done about it 
.
Then, they realize that the same drunk asshole who hit my car got into another accident a few blocks away, and that he is in custody, and has been charged with drunk driving, etc. They ask me if I know the other guy whose car had been hit. I didn’t know the person, so they run his plates. I assume they will contact him immediately seeing as his front fender was torn off and his car had been pushed up onto the curb. The cops leave, and give me a police report number that I can pick up at the station in a few days.
So, I wait a few days, then I call the police station to ask if the report has been filed. The officer rudely tells me that she won’t give me any info over the phone and that it should be here if they (the cops at the scene) said it would be because they do their jobs and that I shouldn’t assume they haven’t done what they said they should. Like most young people, I have worked in the service industry before, and have a pretty high tolerance for douchebaggery, so I don’t give her attitude a second thought. I go down to the police station, arriving about 15 minutes after I spoke to this lady over the phone. I wait in line until she is finished busting the balls of the guy in front of me. I tell her I am here to pick up a police report, give her the case number, etc. She goes to look for it in a file cabinet that is visible from where I am standing. She comes back and tells me I have obviously written the number down incorrectly because that number references another unrelated incident. Then I inform her that the paper I gave her was actually written by the officer, at the scene, and should be correct. She asks me, “who told me it would be here”, and that “[I’m] probably at the wrong station”. Now, this is the same lady I spoke to on the phone 20 minutes earlier who chastened me for suggesting that the report wouldn’t be there. I explain this fact to her, she tells me she didn’t talk to me, and that I need to call the central office.
So, I call the central office, beginning my conversation by explaining that I am at the police station, as I am speaking to her, looking for the report. I ask her if she would like to speak to the lovely woman at the front desk, she declines. She looks up the number, tells me I must have the number wrong, asks me if I am at the right precinct. We then try to locate the report by using the time/date the accident happened. Nothing comes up. She asks me if I am confused, and if I am sure of the date and location of the accident, because they usually don’t make mistakes. She tells me to hold on she will transfer me to someone who can give me additional help me. I drift toward the counter, explaining what just transpired to the cop at the station with the shitty attitude, when her phones starts ringing. The fucking lady transferred my call to the station I was standing in :smack: .
At this point, I am convinced they are all basically useless sacks of shit. Seeing as I can’t get the police report, she tells me to contact the officer at the scene to find out if he filed a report, and what the correct number is ("…in case I mis-wrote it"). I ask her when he will be in, she tells me he works the night shift (3pm). She tells me I can call back around then to talk to him. I call back multiple times over the course of several days only to be told he has already left, is in a meeting, etc. Eventually, after telling her my name, she tells me me the officer is on leave indefinitely.
During the intervening period, numerous things happened. About a week after the accident, I was awoken by the sound of a tow truck towing away the car behind me. I went out to meet the gentleman (who’d also been hit), only to find out the police had never contacted him, and that he’d been out of town, and had no idea what had happened. I was also able to obtain a copy of the police report which, as I suspected, has numerous errors. Among them, the fact that the driver who hit me has valid insurance (he does not). After calling the company on the police report, I was told that the driver hadn’t had insurance with them since 2003, and that the policy number was invalid because their policy numbers began with letters, not numbers. At this point, I don’t know if the cops actual saw an insurance card, or the guy just gave them monopoly money and some uno cards. I thought it couldn’t get worse, but I was wrong.
