Ask a Witch next time.....asshole

[Banshee_]

Here's to you Cecil... here's to your sophmoric efforts to shed light as to why witches are commonly asociated with brooms... Instead of asking a witch, you dig up some of the oldest Christian relics you can, reducing witches to nothing more than mastubating drug addicts. You could have researched instead you relied on the help of our immortal enemies... The Christians. Witches used broomsticks as wand because they were frightened to death of their RELIGION being discovered. We all know what happened to witches in the 1400's. If anyone was doing drugs and hallucinating it was the Christians who actually thought they witches were flying. As for Witches who admitted to rubbing a halucinate sathe on a broomstick and rubbing it on their crotch to produce visions..... I'm pretty sure if you were tied to a stake with a flame being set at your feet, you would pretty much admit to anything too......asshole. Lastly, in all of your babbling you seem to elude to the fact that witches are all female.... Once again you are wrong, genius boy. I am male and I am indeed a witch. Obviously we witches owe you an apology, yes an apology, even though our religon Wicca is recognized by the United States government, an apology even though you printed a one sided piece of shit to a newspaper for millions to see, YES an fucking apology even though you have no fucking idea what you are talking about....an apology because we gave you the idea that you could treat us like a bunch of fucking assholes..... Next time, take your smart little brain to the library and read a few books, Einstein.

Piss up a Broom stick,

Mojo

------------------

[Omniscient]

I got matches, anyone with me!

[gypsy]

hey! look at me...I am bringing dry wood and a can of gasoline to the party

------------------
Unforgiven

[Doobieous]

Oh yes nice attitude. Blessed be my ass. You come here not only attacking Cecil but another religion (seems you need a lesson in forgiveness). You despise Christianity for past sins, yet you hate them as much as you are hated by SOME Christians (this Christian actually finds Wicca interesting, along with buddhism, Hindu, etc.). Dont lump me into your immortal enemy group. You are starting to sound like those who start jihads on whole countries *Osama Bin Laden* *cough*

[AuraSeer]

::tacking up a sign::
"The post at the top of this thread does not represent the views of all witches, Wiccans, or members of nature-based religions."


Banshee_, we pagans have a hard enough time getting good publicity without you blathering like an idiot. If you want Cecil to post a correction, send him an email and say so (as I have done). Don't just hang around and scream insults like a six-year-old.

You're being a stupid, immature, childish fool, and because you claim to be speaking on behalf of our religion, you're reflecting badly on the rest of us. Do us all a favor and shut up now, before you dig the hole any deeper.

------------------
Of course I don't fit in; I'm part of a better puzzle.

[Contestant #3]

Auraseer, Banshee_,

Again I ask, why not use your (tee hee hee) "magik" to get the results that you seek?

Do the wittle witches get upset when we don't beweive their D&D fantasy?

------------------
Contestant #3

[AuraSeer]

And of course, where there is controversy, our resident troll must pop up. I was wondering how long it would take you, C3.

[Omniscient]

It was funny though. D&D fantasy, thats creative

[Lynn Bodoni]

I WAS gonna move this thread, too, but I think it'll do more good here. Here's a hint for everyone: Cecil doesn't READ this forum, unless yours truly lets him know about a particular thread or post. You want to flame Cecil here? It's not going to upset him one bit. He won't know about it.

Cecil doesn't read all of the Comments forum either, but he does scan it regularly, and so do his assistants.

Lynn/SDStaff Lynn
For the Straight Dope

[ChiefScott]

"Ask a witch."
"Next time... Asshole!"

Banshee proves why a columnist would never seek someone out with such a furtive tie and inferiority complex to the subject of his or her research. Any information Banshee could possibly have provide Unca Cees would have been most definitely shaded towards the "neocreationalist" version of witchdom.
Wiccans, witches, warlocks... far and away a most mellow group of fellow earth dwellers.
There are exceptions though.

[kellibelli]

*leans back in chair, opens bag of cheezy poofs, smiles*

" This should be fun to watch..."

[C K Dexter Haven]

It's lies, all lies. Witchcraft in fact was not invented until 1942, it was an insidious trick by the Japanese (teamed up with the Illuminati, World Conspiracy of Jewish Bankers and the Illuminati and the Masons) to undermine Christianity. The organization was called JIJMO (Japo-Illuminati Jewish Masonic Organization).

All those reports of witchcraft in the past were all falsified: Salem trials and persecutions, trial by water, all that was made up and inserted into the history books by the JIJMO during WWII, it was all a propoganda effort.

Unfortunately, it was done too well, and is now widely believed by thousands. Many people in fact believe themselves to be members of this religion, although no such religion in fact exists. It's all just conspiracy-fantasy.

Broomsticks, too, did not exist until 1942. The Mafia Broomstick Manufacturers was brought into being by the JIJMO to help intensify the illusion. They were so skilled, they made "old" broomsticks, designed to appear as if they had existed for centuries. Illustrations in old texts were subtly changed by the Illuminati (natch, they illumine), again to fortify the illusion.

That clear it up for you?

[C K Dexter Haven]

Actually, the reality is the wiccan predates all known religions. There are ancient Sumerian inscriptions, with the priests of Astarte condemning wiccanism as the ancient enemy of Astartism, and mentioning how wiccans fly on broomsticks and boil eye of newt in cauldrons -- and these date from about 4000 BC!

The wiccans from the period 3500 - 3000 BC practiced back-to-nature cults, with seasonal observances based on the North American seasons -- the hieroglyphs speak of the leaves turning beautiful colours in autumn in Maine [possibly Vermont, the translation is unclear.]

Broomsticks and cauldrons have, of course, been found in the 20,000 year old remains in caves, along with cave paintings of wiccans dancing naked under the moon. One famous archaeologist has clay tablets (carbon-dated to about 3231 BC, on a Tuesday) that contain the words to Kumbaya, believed to be the song sung by the ancient wiccans at the solstice.

Does that clear it up for you?

[Mojo]

Witches used broomsticks as wand because they were frightened to death of their RELIGION being discovered

huh?

You're going to have to be a little clearer if you want to shake off this "masturbating drug addict" title.

[kellibelli]

cdtexthaven.....WHAT???????

[tomndebb]

Kellibelli, you really must read more postings by Dex. One boring weekend he provided all seven of the [i]true[/r] origins of the phrase "It ain't over 'til the fat lady sings."

As for Banshee_: I'm not looking for much accuracy from someone who claims to be a guy while using a woman's title.

------------------
Tom~

[AuraSeer]

...and has an email account with the username 'priestess'.

[kellibelli]

um...is dex on drugs?

is banshee a 'he' or a 'she'?


Can I be an elf?...or maybe a cleric?

Shouldn't Banshee be "Banhee," then?

[kellibelli]

(snort) Get real Flora...use it in a sentence..."screaming like a Banhee..." (giggle)

[StrTrkr777]

CK, as one of the members of the ongoing conspiracies involving the Illuminati, I am very disapointed in your telling all of the details. It makes it very hard for us to continue ruining this country if people know the truth. If you continue to give away all our secrets and especially our secret handshake, I will seriously have to consider proposing that we sentence you to our strictest punishment (15 lashes with a wet noodle).

In the future please do not tell so much about how we changed history to our benefit.

Jeffery

[ChiefScott]

MMMMMM

Yum-yum, cheezy poofs.

All this talk of witches, and banshees and bullshi.... **croak**

**croak**

:: oh, now i've done it!! ::

[ChiefScott]

MMMMMM

Yum-yum, cheezy poofs.

All this talk of witches, ans banshees and bullshi.... **croak**

**croak**

:: oh, now i've done it!! ::

[kellibelli]

Would a kiss help?

[tomndebb]

[b]Kellibelli[/i]:

is banshee a 'he' or a 'she'?

The poster or the word?

The poster Banshee_ proclaimed

I am male and I am indeed a witch.

but (as noted) has an e-mail address of "priestess." At this point, it's hard to tell.

The word "banshee" is (more or less) phonetic English for the Irish Gaelic "bann sidhe" or "woman of the sidhe." The word sidhe can be translated as "fairy" (but think in terms of Tolkien's elves with a bit of an attitude).

The only way you can associate masculine traits with "Banshee" is if you are into 1950's jet fighters by McDonnell.

------------------
Tom~

[moriah]

What's the difference between a fundamentalist Christian who believes in Creationism and a modern Wiccan who believes that they're practicing the same religion that Druidic Pagans practiced 500 years ago?

Give up?


The answer is nothing. They're both historically ignorant.

And mind you, I'm not anti-Wiccan. The practice of a Pagan or natural religion (without the human sacrifices, of course ) is no skin off my nose. It's just that I'm anti-ignorance.

Peace.

[DrFidelius]

Love and Light, Blessed Be, Fairy Farts.

Banshee_, I would like to thank you for showing that reading comprehension problems and the inability to calmly correct a mistaken conception are not limited to Christians. Envision peace, and try not to act like a hysterical queen. That type of reaction is not going to win brownie (or bwcca?) points for your Faith.

Asshole.


------------------
Dr. Fidelius, Charlatan
Associate Curator Anomalous Paleontology, Miskatonic University
Homo vult decipi; decipiatur

[Doobieous]

a modern Wiccan who believes that they're practicing the same religion that Druidic Pagans practiced 500 years ago?

Ooo just like if I claimed i had ressurected the old Filipino pre-Spanish animist religion of the Tagalogs or my people, the Aklanons.

Funny thing, a few Wiccans I know seem to use the term pagan and Wiccan interchangeably, and ignorantly (they arent the same. Wiccans are pagan, but not all pagans are wiccan).

[matt_mcl]

This is indeed a common and regrettable error. Although *descended and based on* pre-Christian religions, Wicca itself has only existed for about a century.

[DrFidelius]

And if Banshee_ wants us to stop picturing Baba Yaga and see Sabrina when we hear "witch", he better stop throwing these little hissy fits. I had thought that wicca was a reaction against the patronizing patriarchal cold dead God. Most practitioners I have met are very tolerant of the beliefs of others, and have a sense of humor and proportion regarding their self-applied label of "witch". But I guess there are jerks in any group...

[Satan]

Banshee_:

Satan here. Don't believe it? Well that name over to the left should be convincing enough for you.

Here's the deal - Me and God were talking, see, and it seems neither of us want you to follow either of us.

I kinda appreciated the sentiment above, but found no need for the attitude! It was wasted on a topic and person and forum that would all have reacted a lot better without it.

And God, well, he just wrote you off as an asshole. He's so judgemental!

Anyway, since neither of us want you, you might want to start... oh, I dunno... sticking a broomstick up your ass, maybe?

Cordially,
Satan

[JillGat]

Lynn, don't you DARE send these people to my forum!
Jill
Me like fi put one hex on yu, nuh?

[tracer]

CKDextHavn wrote:

Witchcraft in fact was not invented until 1942, it was an insidious trick by the Japanese (teamed up with the Illuminati, World Conspiracy of Jewish Bankers and the Illuminati and the Masons) to undermine Christianity.

The Japanese teamed up with the Illuminati twice? Wow, the Illuminati really CAN do anything!

------------------
I'm not flying fast, just orbiting low.

[OldBroad]

Thank God! (or whomever) I was just about to give up lurking in the pit. Thanks, everyone!

------------------
| | | | | | | | | |
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit.

[Edwyrd]

I was a little bit tense after reading the "Serious" thread on this topic.

Daaaam was that illuminati but funny.

Thanks :-)

Edward

[Edwyrd]

Hmmm....make that "Bit"...

(*hahahaha*)

Edward

[t.g.]

uh, Satan,
Just wanted to ask how your favorite son
Anton LeVey likes it where he is now ? I read both of his books, the Sananic Bible and the ritual book, neither did a lot for me, but hey to each his own. Did you tell him to write those are did he just decide to
do it on his own ?
One last thing, will you please make that sicko Marilyn Manson put some cloths on ? He looks like a plucked chicken.


------------------
t.g.
sweet innocent little old grandma type person

[Persephone]

Just read that column, and Cecil himself refers to it as a "far-fetched theory." That is is. So what's the problem? Cecil presented one theory as to the witch/broom connection. If he'd presented them all, well, it would have been a great column, but there wouldn't have been any room for any more articles in his paper.

Light a candle & chill, Banshee. I don't think Cecil meant any harm. Really I don't.

[Lynn Bodoni]

{{Lynn, don't you DARE send these people to my forum!
Jill
Me like fi put one hex on yu, nuh?}}

I was tempted. Oh, how I was tempted. But I saw that it had already generated some responses, and people were simply having too much fun for me to break up the party.

Incidentally (not in reply to Jill, but someone else), LaVey wrote at least 3 books. There's the witch book as well as the other two.

Lynn
As both moderator and poster this time.

[Byzantine]

And here I was thinking it was another dumb assessed post from Brihael.... okay, all I can add but I think others have beaten me to it is this person is an ass. Slamming all over the place and not really being true to the true slam technique.

Go read, "Oh fuck you" and get a clue. If you're gonna slam at least do it properly. Especially if you're going after the very God of this forum.

No, I'm not an asskisser but he/she can't raise a valid point unless he/she can quote directly and succinctly from Uncle C..... and even when you got the quote right you fucked the rest up.

My own thoughts?

Don't fuck with the witches here, dipshit, not a good idea at all. C#3 that includes you... (wanna fight? I always knew we would..).

Hey, as always, this is just IMHO.....

[Cap'n Crude]

Anybody notice how Banshee_ the OP vanished as soon as his/her crusade wasn't taken up by the general populace? Now there's magic for ya!

Loud-mouthed reactionaries without the courage of their convictions are so entertaining. Of course, B_'s position is more or less indefensible, so perhaps the "cut the losses and chicken out of my own flame topic" approach was best advised.

Bottom line -- any practitioner of any religion who takes it so seriously that they don't recognize humor when they see it needs to be put down like a rabid dog.

--Da Cap'n

[Squid Vicious]

You know, I think Cecil must be on the right track. I had to get a proctalogical(sp?) exam when I was in the Navy. The doc's finger was about as big a round as a broom stick (at least I hope that was his finger). I'm pretty sure I had halucinations after that, not to mention walking funny.

------------------
"If you stick your finger in a pie, whatever is in the pie will be on your finger, and whatever is on your finger will be in the pie...unless you wear a rubber glove"----some demented old lady

[kellibelli]

I found this pic of witches at www.fugly, and I wanted to share it with you...

http://www.spies.com/jxski/ugly/photos/0235.jpg

hope it works...enjoy!


------------------
kisses,
Kelli

[kellibelli]

Is that what [i]you[/] did satan?
Hows heather? Havnt heard from 'the gang' in a while...oh that's right, school started again! (just teasing man!)

Oh, sorry about your shoes there Scotty...send the cleaning bill to the witches council...they will make it disappear!



------------------
kisses,
Kelli

[Polycarp]

Hmmm..now I see where witches got their bad rep!

(Just kidding)

[ChiefScott]

Now I'm gonna have to go change my answer in the "How long have you gone without vomiting?" thread.
Damn you, Kells!

[Satan]

Jeez...

I guess the secret is to master the spell that makes others think you are vaguely attractive...

Ya know, this Banshee_ guy(?) has only 2 post on the damn board!

Can anybody say 'alternative on-line persona'?

------------------
We have met the enemy, and He is Us.--Walt Kelly

[Doobieous]

The doc's finger was about as big a round as a broom stick (at least I hope that was his finger). I'm pretty sure I had halucinations after that, not to mention walking funny.

I dont know about anyone else but none of my fingers are as big around as a broom stick. Hmm me thinks that wasn't his finger he was probing you with .


Anyway, c'mon banshee come out of your broom closet! We know you're lurking around here. You KNOW you want to respond to this thread!