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  #1  
Old 07-15-2006, 03:33 AM
Lizard Lizard is offline
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What is the best revenge on an asshole boss you've ever seen?

This thread sort of devolved into a general bitch session about bosses/coworkers for a while, but it got me thinking. One person mentioned he deliberately quit right before his jerk boss was to go on vacation. This seemed pretty sweet, but I'll bet there are better true stories out there.
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  #2  
Old 07-15-2006, 06:25 AM
Kalhoun Kalhoun is offline
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I just willed a boss out of my life and into a new position. Our workdays were filled with chaos, indecision, and all-around low morale. Now that she's gone, everyone's happy and we're not running around like our hair's on fire. The mere fact that it's working now that she's gone is revenge enough for me. She sees it every day and I hope she feels like a worthless piece of shit (which is how she made me feel for six months).
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Old 07-15-2006, 07:58 AM
Phlosphr Phlosphr is offline
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There's always Insult Monger - I love that website when my words don't cut it, they always have the best comebacks...
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  #4  
Old 07-15-2006, 10:25 AM
Moirai Moirai is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lizard
One person mentioned he deliberately quit right before his jerk boss was to go on vacation.

I did the same thing, and I'm a bit embarassed that I did it. But this guy was a total prick, and I simply couldn't work there for another day. Also, I had a very real fear of how I would be treated if I gave any notice.

Oh, did I mention we were a two-person office? He was totally screwed.
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Old 07-15-2006, 11:03 AM
Cub Mistress Cub Mistress is offline
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I told everybody who would listen what an asshole the sheriff I worked for was, spilling all his dirty little secrets. He was roundly defeated at the next election. I don't think I was the cause of the defeat, but I feel like I did my bit.
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  #6  
Old 07-15-2006, 02:27 PM
jlzania jlzania is offline
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I gave adequate notice when I quit the job from hell but was escorted out the same day.
OK whatever-at least I tried to do the right thing.
However when Asshole Boss also screwed me on my last paycheck, I decided enough was enough.
The amount he shorted me wasn't huge and I didn't want the hassle of trying to recover it but I did want some sort of revenge.
So I called every account I had while I was working for the jerk and invited them to follow me to the new job.
Later I heard that he had whined to a third party that I took about $150,000.00 - $200.000.00 profits from him.
I didn't shed any tears.
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  #7  
Old 07-15-2006, 03:40 PM
Key Lime Guy Key Lime Guy is offline
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Not exactly what th OP was looking for, but good nonetheless...

I worked at a place with a very accomplished and established 'old guard' who rightfully wanted to protect the traditional way of doing things. The new boss had an opposite philosophy and started making life miserable for the old guard.

One of them resigned and was given a farewell party to honor his ~20-years of service. The full extent of his speech: "I'm glad I came to work here. I'm glad I'm leaving."
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Old 07-15-2006, 03:58 PM
Chefguy Chefguy is offline
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There was a story I was told in the Foreign Service about a complete asshole admin officer who was also a hoarder of illegal ivory and bragged to people that when he retired, he would ship it back to the states in his HHE, which, when coming from an embassy overseas, is never checked. Someone he had shit upon waited several years for the guy to retire, then ratted him out to Customs. I believe he did some jail time and paid a HUGE fine.
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  #9  
Old 07-15-2006, 05:12 PM
EddyTeddyFreddy EddyTeddyFreddy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chefguy
Someone he had shit upon waited several years for the guy to retire, then ratted him out to Customs. I believe he did some jail time and paid a HUGE fine.
"Revenge is a dish best served cold."
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  #10  
Old 07-15-2006, 05:53 PM
Dinsdale Dinsdale is offline
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Our top dog just got sent on permanent "detail" and her #2 got demoted.
Was a group effort, but i played my part.
About as good as it gets in the federal gov't.
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  #11  
Old 07-15-2006, 06:22 PM
ASAKMOTSD ASAKMOTSD is offline
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I anguished over doing it, but I gave 2 days notice instead of 2 weeks. The boss never appreciated anything I ever did and constantly gave me the blame for his inadequate decisions in front of my clients. I got over the anguish in about an hour.
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  #12  
Old 07-15-2006, 08:16 PM
kunilou kunilou is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chefguy
There was a story I was told in the Foreign Service about a complete asshole admin officer who was also a hoarder of illegal ivory and bragged to people that when he retired, he would ship it back to the states in his HHE, which, when coming from an embassy overseas, is never checked. Someone he had shit upon waited several years for the guy to retire, then ratted him out to Customs. I believe he did some jail time and paid a HUGE fine.
I know someone (no, not me. I know SOMEONE) who waited two years, and then sent an anonymous letter to the IRS detailing some "irregularities" his boss had overseen. He even went so far as to mail the letter from another city.

While the letter did cause the IRS to audit the business and ruin the boss, the company treasurer also got swept up in the mess and did a stint in prison. The letter-sender said he regretted that, as the treasurer had only been a dupe.

My favorite story is about the asshole radio manager who told the weekend newscaster (a college freshman who was desperately trying to get some experience) that since he was only on the air for five minutes each hour, he should clock in just before the newscast, and clock out right afterwards. The newscaster looked him right in the eye and said in that case, he could only report what had actually happened during those five minutes.
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  #13  
Old 07-15-2006, 08:31 PM
Magiver Magiver is offline
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Well, my highest level boss wasn't an asshole but he was too far removed from the operation to be helpful in the trenches. My facility just shut down and moved to a different location. He moved to the new facility and is faced with the task of setting up a new operation…. from scratch…. with very little help. Words cannot explain the chaos that ensued. I would much rather be unemployed than be in his shoes.
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  #14  
Old 07-15-2006, 08:56 PM
DragonAsh DragonAsh is offline
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I was working for a European bank in Tokyo. The senior guy in the department was a Japanese analyst who had to be pushing 60. He was long past the idea of actually caring about work; he was just looking to make some coin for him and his buddies. He was such a prick. First, he hired all his old cronies and mistresses (not joking) to come and work in the department. Hiring people you know is, in and of itself, not a bad thing; I've introduced friends and co-workers to jobs within the company I was working. Difference is I only do that for people who can actually work - this guy was bringing in fu**ing useless wastes of space. He would regularly sabotage projects run by other analysts (by not telling them of certain meetings, or not passing on deadline info from sales, etc). He tried to get all his buy-side cronies to put in their orders with his buddies working at other firms. It was just unbelieviable.

Now, the very busiest time of the year is late April - from about the 25th or so - through May. It's probably three times as much work in that one month as in any other two-month period. I got my revenge by going in to prickhead and giving my notice on April 25 - and, since I had 30 days of vacation time coming, told him that today was my last day. They had _nobody_ for the busiest time of year. They were soooo screwed.

My buy-side friends told me that they were basically fu**ed for that month for both the JPN and English products, and that they never really recovered. Dickhead was fired not long afterwards, and the whole department was disbanded about six months after I left. I, meanwhile, went from that bank to considerably bigger and better things at another European bank.

Looking back, I kind of regret what I did, because it could have seriously come back to bite me in the ass, since I still work in the industry - thankfully, I must have done something right because all my my clients (I run my own little business) are either places I used to work, or are places where people I hired/trained work. I've been _very_ sure to never burn bridges with a company when I leave a place. Now, burning bridges with a person is a different story...
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  #15  
Old 07-16-2006, 12:59 AM
Lizard Lizard is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kunilou
I know someone (no, not me. I know SOMEONE) who waited two years, and then sent an anonymous letter to the IRS detailing some "irregularities" his boss had overseen. He even went so far as to mail the letter from another city.

While the letter did cause the IRS to audit the business and ruin the boss, the company treasurer also got swept up in the mess and did a stint in prison. The letter-sender said he regretted that, as the treasurer had only been a dupe.
If the treasurer went to prison he was no dupe, he was in on it.
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  #16  
Old 07-16-2006, 07:54 AM
False_God False_God is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chefguy
There was a story I was told in the Foreign Service about a complete asshole admin officer who was also a hoarder of illegal ivory and bragged to people that when he retired, he would ship it back to the states in his HHE, which, when coming from an embassy overseas, is never checked. Someone he had shit upon waited several years for the guy to retire, then ratted him out to Customs. I believe he did some jail time and paid a HUGE fine.
60 months, 350k USD, and they told him that his pension would be garnished to pay for his legal fees. He complained to AFSA and they pointed out that he hadn't paid fees in 30 years. They still tell that story in A-100 as a cautionary tale.
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  #17  
Old 07-16-2006, 08:05 AM
Fear Itself Fear Itself is offline
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Employee drops dime on computer game developer:
Quote:
NovaLogic paid BSA the $153,500 fine after an audit revealed that it had unlicensed Adobe, Apple, Autodesk, FileMaker, Macromedia, Microsoft and Symantec software programs on its computers. Most investigations begin with a call to BSA's hotline, 1-888-NO PIRACY, or with a report to BSA's Online Reporting Form. BSA's attorneys contacted the organization, which cooperated and conducted audits.

...

Jenny Blank, director of enforcement for BSA said,

"Since BSA's founding more than 17 years ago, there have been significant advances in combating unlicensed software use. However, software piracy in the workplace is still pervasive. It is BSA's hope that its rewards program will provide people with the encouragement they need to do the right thing and report software piracy in their current or former workplace confidentially."
They only way to get their attention is to take their money. And anyone can do it to any company.
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  #18  
Old 07-16-2006, 11:55 AM
HelloKitty HelloKitty is offline
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My husband had a former boss who he really wanted to do something nasty to, but another employee beat him to it:

The boss guy was deathly allergic to poison ivy. The employee one day confiscated the boss's favorite pen and rubbed poison ivy leaves all over it. He put the pen back on the boss's desk a few days later. The boss then of course became horribly infected with the stuff, all over his hands, face, mouth etc. and ultimately had to be hospitalized!!!

My husband said the boss nearly died because of it and could never figure out where the poison ivy came from...
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  #19  
Old 07-16-2006, 12:06 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is offline
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Unfortunately, the guy made a plea bargain before it could go to trial, but my dad was prepared to testify against his former boss when the guy was charged with major insurance fraud, including using FEMA funds for his own personal use. (Fancy cars, decorating his house, etc).

The man would give my dad his paycheck and tell him not to cash it, because it would bounce. And my father would have been the one to get screwed if he had-not the boss. He checked into it, nothing he could do about it. Finally, he told the guy to lay him off (so he could collect unemployment, which he couldn't do if he quit), or he was going to turn in evidence.

My dad did give testimony in a pre-trial type thing to an attourney, or whatever, but like I said, the old bastard plead out.
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  #20  
Old 07-16-2006, 12:24 PM
Lissa Lissa is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kalhoun
Now that she's gone, everyone's happy and we're not running around like our hair's on fire. The mere fact that it's working now that she's gone is revenge enough for me. She sees it every day and I hope she feels like a worthless piece of shit (which is how she made me feel for six months).
Hubby had the same experience with an asshole boss he had. The guy was a complete prick, but thought he was a Golden Boy. You know the type-- the ones who think they're minor gods because they were popular back in highschool, and at age 35, they're still acting like they're gunning to be Prom King. (I swear to Og, he's exactly like Summer's boyfriend in Napoleon Dynamite.)

Hubby got promoted and took over Department A, and Asshole Boss was switched over to Dept. B Hubby spent months cleaning up all of the massive fuckups that Asshole Boss had done in Dept. A, and when he was done, the department ran effeciently for the first time in years. Asshole Boss tried to take the credit, saying Hubby was just reaping the results of all of the work Asshole had done before he left. Within the same time, Dept. B, now headed by Asshole, completely fell apart. (It had been working fine until Asshole took the helm.)

Lo and behold, there was another switch, and Asshole Boss was put back in Dept. A and Hubby was switched to head Dept. B. I don't think anyone was really surprised when Dept. A went to hell in a handbasket relatively quickly. (Asshole tried to say that he was just seeing the results of what Hubby had done, but no one was buying it.)

Hubby says that it's absolutely priceless to see the frustration on Asshsole's face when he gives glowing reports of how smoothly everything is running in Dept. B at staff meetings. It's even more amusing, because his reports usually follow Asshole's litany of complaints and excuses.
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  #21  
Old 07-16-2006, 12:40 PM
danceswithcats danceswithcats is offline
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My next-door neighbor when I was a little kid was an entertaining guy-wonderful mechanic-private pilot, who also had a volatile temper. He was working for a dealership in Philly during the early 1950's who hosed him over something and caused him to make the decision to quit. Prior to doing so, he disassembled three or four different manufacturer's automatic transmissions from cars that were in for service, swept the mess of internal parts into a box, and walked out with his tools. My Dad repeated the story years later, as an example of why one should always be fair and honest with employees.
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  #22  
Old 07-16-2006, 02:28 PM
Lizard Lizard is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloKitty
My husband had a former boss who he really wanted to do something nasty to, but another employee beat him to it:

The boss guy was deathly allergic to poison ivy. The employee one day confiscated the boss's favorite pen and rubbed poison ivy leaves all over it. He put the pen back on the boss's desk a few days later. The boss then of course became horribly infected with the stuff, all over his hands, face, mouth etc. and ultimately had to be hospitalized!!!

My husband said the boss nearly died because of it and could never figure out where the poison ivy came from...
Geez . . . that's going a bit too far. Personally, I draw the line at causing illness or physical injury.
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  #23  
Old 07-17-2006, 07:48 AM
dawson dawson is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloKitty
My husband had a former boss who he really wanted to do something nasty to, but another employee beat him to it:

The boss guy was deathly allergic to poison ivy. The employee one day confiscated the boss's favorite pen and rubbed poison ivy leaves all over it. He put the pen back on the boss's desk a few days later. The boss then of course became horribly infected with the stuff, all over his hands, face, mouth etc. and ultimately had to be hospitalized!!!

My husband said the boss nearly died because of it and could never figure out where the poison ivy came from...

IANAL, but I think this could be tantamount to attempted murder!
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  #24  
Old 07-17-2006, 07:52 AM
Beware of Doug Beware of Doug is offline
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Originally Posted by False_God
60 months, 350k USD, and they told him that his pension would be garnished to pay for his legal fees. He complained to AFSA and they pointed out that he hadn't paid fees in 30 years. They still tell that story in A-100 as a cautionary tale.
Arrogance will out. Way-out arrogance will WAY out.
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  #25  
Old 07-17-2006, 08:12 AM
jjimm jjimm is offline
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I killed one of my directors.

I worked in a hardware store in between school and university. The hardware store chain's head office was in the same town, and one day a new director arrived in the store as a "mystery shopper". His report back to the board: "the store's doing well - apart from that posh git." The posh git in question being me.

Prior to his arrival, I was the best salesman in the store, got good bonuses, and lots of repeat customer business who asked for me by name. Got on well with all but one of my coworkers. When this guy came in I wasn't doing anything wrong; indeed I remembered helping him out because he was a bit creepy, but I had given him advice successfully, in a polite and efficient fashion. No, the reason he didn't like me was my accent. He made my life unpleasant every day, nitpicking constantly, as he used our staff parking lot at lunchtime so he could eat in the town. Word got back to me about his comments, and I was put on some kind of unoffical "watch list" due to his reverse snobbery.

So I cursed him. I just said something under my breath like "fuck him, I hope he kills himself for being such a bastard, the obnoxious fucker".

Eventually I left the job, and six months later I went in to see my old coworkers - and I heard that he had thrown himself off the top of a parking lot. Being a non-believer I know I didn't really cause it, but the news gave me goose-bumps. I feel sorry for him; presumably his obnoxiousness was a symptom of something much worse in his life.
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  #26  
Old 07-17-2006, 08:26 AM
Beware of Doug Beware of Doug is offline
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Originally Posted by jjimm
Word got back to me about his comments, and I was put on some kind of unoffical "watch list" due to his reverse snobbery.
Snobbery cuts. Reverse snobbery cuts both ways, and the blade digs in a lot harder.
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  #27  
Old 07-17-2006, 06:24 PM
AskNott AskNott is offline
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I worked with a fellow with a vengeful streak. He told me of a boss who had viciously messed him over. It wasn't hard to find out which car the boss drove. Sporting goods stores sell fox urine for masking the human scent of hunters (put it on the ground, folks, not yourself!) My friend filled a syringe with fox urine and slipped it in through the rubber window gasket of the boss's car, and he anointed the carpet and upholstery. The whole thing took about ten seconds, but somewhere there's a car that still stinks of fox piss.
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  #28  
Old 07-18-2006, 10:35 AM
Missy2U Missy2U is offline
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Back when I was involved in the construction industry (more than 10 years ago), I had a boss who treated me like dirt. It was a family business - outside of the union guys, and one or two shop guys, I was the only non-family member, and I was the office manager. The two sons, the dad and mommy all had their own issues with each other, and with money, and in the end, I was the one getting screwed. I quit. The "family" then badmouthed me to the rest of the industry - effectively making it almost impossible for me to find a related job within that niche.

So. They bid on a lot of public work - schools, etc. - and different affidavits (I can't remember the names of them) had to be filed along with their proposals and there were bonds that had to be issued, etc. Some of the questions that had to be answered and sworn to on these affidavits involved litigation, past and present, and lawsuits and workmen's comp and stuff like that. The company always answered in the negative (hell most of the industry did and still does - it's common practice) and I knew that they were lying. So every single time I found out that they had been low bid, I informed on them - I let the people know who were granting the contract that their affidavits were completely a lie, and gave case numbers, dollar amounts, etc. They lost a HELL of a lot of work.
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  #29  
Old 07-18-2006, 10:52 AM
Skald the Rhymer Skald the Rhymer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloKitty
My husband had a former boss who he really wanted to do something nasty to, but another employee beat him to it:

The boss guy was deathly allergic to poison ivy. The employee one day confiscated the boss's favorite pen and rubbed poison ivy leaves all over it. He put the pen back on the boss's desk a few days later. The boss then of course became horribly infected with the stuff, all over his hands, face, mouth etc. and ultimately had to be hospitalized!!!

My husband said the boss nearly died because of it and could never figure out where the poison ivy came from...
Okay, that's officially crossing the line from amusing to evil.
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  #30  
Old 07-19-2006, 05:01 PM
Lizard Lizard is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Missy2U
Back when I was involved in the construction industry (more than 10 years ago), I had a boss who treated me like dirt. It was a family business - outside of the union guys, and one or two shop guys, I was the only non-family member, and I was the office manager. The two sons, the dad and mommy all had their own issues with each other, and with money, and in the end, I was the one getting screwed. I quit. The "family" then badmouthed me to the rest of the industry - effectively making it almost impossible for me to find a related job within that niche.

So. They bid on a lot of public work - schools, etc. - and different affidavits (I can't remember the names of them) had to be filed along with their proposals and there were bonds that had to be issued, etc. Some of the questions that had to be answered and sworn to on these affidavits involved litigation, past and present, and lawsuits and workmen's comp and stuff like that. The company always answered in the negative (hell most of the industry did and still does - it's common practice) and I knew that they were lying. So every single time I found out that they had been low bid, I informed on them - I let the people know who were granting the contract that their affidavits were completely a lie, and gave case numbers, dollar amounts, etc. They lost a HELL of a lot of work.
I think this is the best kind of revenge: It's not doing anything illegal or physically dangerous, yet if screws the offenders over royally.
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  #31  
Old 07-19-2006, 05:43 PM
TheLoadedDog TheLoadedDog is offline
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Originally Posted by AskNott
I worked with a fellow with a vengeful streak. He told me of a boss who had viciously messed him over. It wasn't hard to find out which car the boss drove. Sporting goods stores sell fox urine for masking the human scent of hunters (put it on the ground, folks, not yourself!) My friend filled a syringe with fox urine and slipped it in through the rubber window gasket of the boss's car, and he anointed the carpet and upholstery. The whole thing took about ten seconds, but somewhere there's a car that still stinks of fox piss.
Thai or Vietnamese fish sauce sprinkled into the air intakes uinder the windscreen is also good. Nailing a large mud crab to the underside of your boss' desk can work a treat too.
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  #32  
Old 07-20-2006, 05:30 AM
Siege Siege is offline
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This wasn't entirely planned, but it was sweet. My last boss was the worst boss I've ever had, and he had to beat some tough competition to get the title. About this time two years ago, I decided it was time to move on, updated my resume, and quietly started looking for work. A couple of months later, he told me that he wasn't entirely happy with me and sensed I wasn't entirely happy with him which was why he was going to replace me. I told him I agreed and the reason I'd actually taken a lunch the day before was to fax my resume to someone (I usually didn't get a lunch break). The deal was I was given carte blanche to look for another job openly while he looked for my replacement and, in return, they would make sure I got unemployment if I needed it while I would stay on for a couple of weeks to bring my successor up to speed and finish some programming I'd been doing for them (I was their administrative assistant).

Well, for once in his life, my boss actually moved quickly finding a successor. One was hired and scheduled to start on a Tuesday because he was going to be on a business trip the day before. The Friday before she started, I was reviewing some numbers and my suspicions were confirmed. One of our customers was taking quite a bit more in rebates than they were entitled to. My boss was on a different business trip, scheduled to return that afternoon, so I called him to tell him what I'd found and what my evidence was. Now, I'm not going to go into all my boss's faults. My posts are long enough as it is. One of them, however, was he did not take bad news well and considered merely shooting the messenger as being far too kind. I knew he wouldn't take it well, and, sure enough, he didn't. When he got back to the office around 3:00 that afternoon, he told me he'd changed his mind and Monday would be my last day. He said he didn't want my influencing my successor, although he did say perhaps I could come back after a couple of weeks to fill in some gaps. I nearly walked out on him on the spot, but agreed to stay and did as much as I could to arrange for an easy transition, given the time I had to do it had shrunk dramatically. Some wonderful friends also spent the weekend talking me out of doing anything drastic. You see, I programmed the guy's computers, made his travel arrangements, and had his credit card numbers memorized. I think some of you can imagine my revenge fantasies.

It turns out I didn't need them. Fate, karma, the universe or whatever you want to call it took care of things for me. You see, Tuesday morning I had a job interview and, at the end of the interview, they offered me the job. I thought it over and took it, arranging to start in two weeks. Thursday of that week one of those two wonderful friends I mentioned was going to Maine to retrieve some things from his ex-wife following a divorce. He was due to return the weekend before I started my new job. I'd wanted to help him and suddenly I could. I sent a polite e-mail to my former employer informing him that I had accepted a new job, would be starting in two weeks and would be out of town until the new job started. I came home to a couple of frantic messages asking for help. You see, among the information I'd been unable to pass on was passwords to various on-line accounts. I really don't like writing passwords down. It gets better. Some weeks later his brother and co-owner of the company asked if I could come in on a Saturday to tie up a few loose ends and show my successor some things. I negotiated an hourly amount and a time and made it clear that one of my terms was my ex-boss was to be nowhere in sight. The money I earned that morning paid for my Christmas shopping quite nicely.

As for my successor, while she was bright and competent, or perhaps because she was bright and competent, she left him after nine months. I'd lasted 18, which, as far as I know, is still the record for putting up with him. The sad thing is, I don't think he realizes he's a bad boss.
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  #33  
Old 07-20-2006, 07:02 AM
MizGrand MizGrand is offline
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Well, this - Present Via Mail

Shame I wasn't there to see the joy of receipt.
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