This is actually several questions, and this thread will probably turn TMI really quick for the squeamish.
We’ve all heard of prisoners stashing stuff up their rectums. How common is this really? (I’m also guessing that female prisoners use their vaginas for this purpose, but it seems most prisoners are men, and there’s no reason a woman couldn’t use her rectum.)
I’ve heard of people (actually, seen pictures, too :eek: ) of people who had to go to emergency rooms to obtain assistance in having various objects removed from their rectum (presumably, placed there for sexual purposes, but does it really matter?). How do prisoners avoid this? Or do they? In prisoners-with-buried-treasure it seems to be implied that they can whip all sorts of things in and out of there with no difficulty. Is it practice? Good friends with long skinny fingers? What?
How often do doctors have to deal with stuck objects in prisoner rectums?
How often do doctors have to deal with damaged prisoner rectums? I mean, the inside of the rectum isn’t exactly designed as a toolshed, and I’ve heard all sorts of cautions (usually connected to anal sex practices) about how its got the strength of “wet paper towels” or something of the sort - seems to me carrying foreign objects about in there increases the risk of damage.
Doesn’t using one’s rectum as a storage locker interfere with taking a crap? Does one unload prior to voiding bodily waste, or does the natural process unload everything, leaving the prisoner to frantically reload keepsakes before they are noticed and confiscated?
Sharps - ow! I’ve heard stories of prisoners keeping shanks and other sharp, dangerous, and even pointy bits in the poop chute. Uh… how to they avoid internal stabbing/cutting? Ow. Just thinking about that makes me wince. Maybe they use some sort of sheath for the pointy bit? Then that makes for two things that can get lost inside…
Yes, I’m really hoping Qadgop the Mercotan and gabriela can contribute, but all the doctors, prison workers, and ex-prisoners are welcome to join in. Not to mention the general perv population here on the Dope.
This Straight Dope column lists all sorts of things that were found in people’s rectums and as it’s text, it’s relatively safe for work. And as for the current story about the Salvadoran gang members carrying cell phones internally, I found a blog posting that said they were using a VK Mobile VK530 (76x44x23mm) but I would think the Haier P7 cell phone (150x27x18mm) might be more comfortable. (Yes, it’s longer, but it’s a lot skinnier.)
The human rectum, or as we in the prison business call it, nature’s back pocket.
Anyone who was made uncomfortable by that joke should stop reading now. It’s going to get ugly.
Yes, things get hidden up there. The most common is drugs - a small sized package with no sharp edges. You put the drugs inside a balloon (if they’re coming in from the outside) or use a finger from a rubber glove (a jailhouse substitute).
Then you shove it in there. A little lube’ll help (mayonnaise and butter packets are popular take out items from meals). Then you’ll want to walk around a little in your cell to avoid walking in a way that shows you’re either hiding something or you had a recent unpleasant experience in the shower. With a little practice, convicts can learn to hold a package up past their sphincter and push it out as needed. Those with less talent might tie a string around it for easy retrieval.
As for knives, it’s strongly advised you make a sheath first. Otherwise, you’re essentially stabbing yourself in the ass. But I have seen a number of inmates carrying unsheathed razor blades inside their mouths for quick access. They tuck the razor down between the jaw and cheek.
I didn’t see it personally but I have seen the x-rays of the guy who smuggled a loaded revolver into Rikers Island inside his ass. But he apparently overreached himself and that one required surgical removal.
When we suspect a prisoner is hiding something in his ass we put him on what we refer to as a “shit watch” - mainly because you must have been on the sergeant’s “shit list” if he gave you that job. The prisoner is placed in a room with a bedpan and the guard waits. And hopes to God the prisoner can hold out until the end of his shift and he can turn him over to the next guy. If the prisoner can’t hold out, the guard gets to find out why we gave him a box of rubber gloves and tongue depressers.
I have encountered cases where a prisoner has required medical attention to remove something from their ass. I suppose inevitably there have been times when one prisoner has tried to avoid turning himself in to the doctor and has asked another prisoner to help him out instead. But not surprisingly I’ve never actually heard of this happening - it’s the kind of secret two men will take to their grave.
The book Papillon covers this very subject quite extensively, as well as being a fantastic read which I highly reccomend.
They used small capsules called plans for storage. All your possesions stuffed into a tiny capsule, suffed into your… ahem.
Oddly enough we don’t find too many anal packages in dead men. I suppose they get them out first…
Most of the prisoners I autopsy (and all prisoners who die in jail or penitentiary get official State autopsies) are men in their fifties who have been in the special prison for older convicts. They die from natural disease - I see a lot of the consequences of unchecked hepatitis, as well as bad heart disease - and their bodies on average have the sicknesses of unincarcerated men twenty years older. I suppose they’ve stopped stuffing by the time they are that old and sick.
However, my colleague in DC was once autopsying a 70 year old woman who had collapsed under suspicius circumstances, and saw a flash of something red in her vagina. Red does not belong in the postpostpostmenopausal vagina so she investigated.
The red thing was the plastic cover of an aspirin bottle, passed deep into the vagina, wedged upside down. (One presumes, for easier removal - the top being smaller and easier to grab.) Inside the aspirin bottle were a number of rocks of crack.
Her grandson was reputedly a drug dealer.
She died of unsuspicious heart disease. Cocaine negative…
PS Will Shagnasty or someone expert in search and linkage go find Broomstick the link to which Qadgop and I contributed a month or two ago, discussing anal objects?
Came into this thread to mention Papillon too. The chargers were two-part and metal, that screwed together to make them hermetically sealed - presumably made in secret in the jail metal shop. Henri Charrière wore his up his ass for decades.
If you haven’t read this book yet, read it. It’s an astonishing story. Don’t rely on the movie. The sequel, Banco, is also very interesting, though not such a good book.
