Unmarried adult Dopers -- do NOT have sex, say the Feds

The BBQ Pit
1

No, I’m not kidding. The Federal sexual abstinence program, long a laughingstock for its unrealistic and and stupid approach to preventing teen sex, has taken that Giant Leap, and decided to EXPAND its program to adults aged 20-29. They are going to spend MILLIONS to educate unmarried adults to the effect that they

MUST NOT HAVE SEX!!! EVAH!!! Without getting married first!

That would be a lot of you. I wonder how you feel about about that?

I think it’s really, really stupid, but then again, I thought the original program was basically just against sex rather than its announced goal of preventing teen pregnancies, so I’m not surprised at all. In fact, if we let the Pubbies stay in office long enough, we will undoubtedly eventually wind up with laws making unmarried sex punishable by fines, imprisonment, community service, etc.

Oh, yeah. Linky-linky-link.

2

Sounds stupid to me.

But then I’m morally bankrupt, and living in sin.

3

.
bolding mine.

Looks like just a shady way of funneling our tax money to religious groups.

4

Oh no, if consenting adults have sex, they might make babies - out of wedlock! And we don’t want a nation of bastards, because they all grow up to be delinquent and stupid. Plus Jesus will be mad.

Here’s a thought: fuck off.

Sure, it’s nice to dream of a little world where everyone marries off and then makes babies, but reality doesn’t work that way. It’s not for everyone.

People are going to fuck. And some of them will probably have babies outside of marriage. Some may even choose to do it that way. I see nothing wrong with trying to help reduce unwanted teen pregnancies, because I don’t think it’s a good thing to have 14-year-old girls pushing strollers around (even though I really doubt that an abstinence only program will do much good), but to turn this campaign on adults just makes no sense.

I think I’ll go protest this development. In a sweaty, delightfully immoral way. I’m going to take this lying down, damn it!

5

I can’t believe there are Godless left-wing heathen homosexual-loving atheist sex fanatics who defy the will of God on this matter.

The only correct way to live is to have sex within marriage for the purpose of procreation. Anything else is an abomination and you will burn in Hell forever.
Why do you hate God, America, the Bible, our troops and Creationism?

6

They’re going to get people in their twenties to refrain from hot passionate sweaty monkey lovin’?

… well. Good luck with that, then.

7

You refer to ‘monkeys above’.
Clearly you are a fanatical left-wing sex-abusing Bible-burning Ten-Commandment-breaking who believes in evolution!

8

But it’s still ok for unmarried 37 year olds to have sex? Oh thank god, I’d just feel terrible to go against (batshit insane) federal guidelines.

Ya know given that my mother was 23 and unmarried when she had me he just wished me out of existence. Screw you, Horn (metaphorically).

9

Fuck 'em all!

Mostly the troops, though. Sexy uniforms, mmmm.

:stuck_out_tongue:

10

Not much though, only $1.5 billion.

11

I know how I’m going to protest this piece of faith-baised bullshit.
Boy howdy.

12

I think that if I ever have to move to the States again I’ll look into, uh, bisexual studies or something. Or I’ll just check what age the Sex If Unmarried Prohibition is on before accepting the job.

After all:

  • same-sex couples can’t get married over there
  • but they don’t have “real sex” anyway
  • so having same-sex non-sex is ok, yes?
13

Why limit it to unmarried people under 30? Women can have babies in the 30s and 40s, and still be unmarried then too. Next round, it will have to be “No sex until the menopause.” But then they’ll have to train all those 50-year-old virgins in what they should have been getting practice in for the previous 30 years,

14

b-b-b-ut, I HAVE to vote Republican, cause I don’t wan’t some nanny government.

15

Word. During the act, I may also shout “Oh yeah! Take it, Republican congress! I am really filibustering your faith-based initiatives, aren’t I? Do you like when I reduce your appropriations through AFLA?”

Then my girlfriend will leave me, I suppose, but we all have to make sacrifices.

16

Well, if anybody ever needed more proof that these folks and reality only have a passing acquaintance (if that)…

Will anybody step up to the plate here and say they are happy their tax dollars are being used to try and coax adults in their late 20s from having sex?

17

I wonder if they’re familiar with the Law of Unintended Consequences.

The only people who are going to abstain from sex until they’re 30 (or beyond) are the conservative fundy-types.

This means that there will be fewer babies born to these same conservative fundy-types, resulting in fewer Republican voters.

Or else people will vote Democrat just so they can get laid. Either one works.

Robin

18

I don’t think Karl Rove posts here … :eek:

19

These are the same mindless christian dronettes who go to those creepy father/daughter dances to pledge themselves to daddy or somesuch. I’m sure the only music at these events is the backwoods banjo music playing the theme from Deliverance in daddy’s head.

20

Well, campaigns like these obviously don’t have the effect they claim they are after. So why, oh why do people keep funding these campaigns? Because they’re insane or stupid? No. They are, in fact, very clever.

There is no easier way of appearing holier-than-thou in some vaguely Christian sex-hostile way, then telling others to abstain. Funding such campaigns is a way for such people to feel good about themselves. And at really low cost, too.