Suggested by this Ben Franklin Action Figure: http://www.mcphee.com/items/11103.html Thanks to Lord Il Palazzo for originally posting the link in another thread.
Here’s how to play. I’ll name a real-life historical person (living or dead) and you describe what it does. Then you name a person for the next poster to describe. I’ll start:
Henry David Thoreau - gazes disapprovingly at your furniture and belongings. Says “Simply, simplify” when his string is pulled.
Marie Antoinette
Marie Antoinette - eats cake, flips her lid
Albert Einstein
Press a button and his hair stands out wildly and he sticks out his tongue.
Walt Whitman.
Press his tummy and he celebrates himself and sings himself. Perfect for shy kids who may grow up gay! 
Amelia Earhart?
Comes with her own “Airhog” Lockheed Electra—pump it up, and watch it fly! (And fly…and fly…and fly…hey, where’d it go?)
Gilles de Rais.
Amelia should come with only one shoe.
Re Gille de Rais: his beard is blue, he comes with a castle that has the faces of terrified children looking out…
Chester Arthur
Chester A. Arthur, and his Muttonchop Mustache With Kung Fu Action Grip™!
Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley.
You crack me up!
Mary Shelley Action Figure (with Amazing Free Love Action) would come with a Percy doll, a small Frankenstein figure and a book championing women’s rights).
Watson and Crick
Watson and Crick - come wih bionic elbows to shove Rosalind Franklin out of sight
Mary Lincoln
I see Mary as a paper doll, with changeable outfits: Inauguration Dress, Lincoln is depressed again dress; Mary feels like going a bit crazy dress, going to the theater dress, complete with blood stains and top hat and of course, blacks for the funeral… along with funeral cortege, complete with purple bunting.
Sorry, forgot to add a new historical figure.
Wallis Simpson
Push one button, she gets too rich – push another, she gets too thin.
Catherine the Great.
Too easy. 
The Catherine the Great action figure comes with her own horse. She can ride the horse, or the horse can ride her!
John Kerry
The John Kerry action figure is virtually indistinguishable from the real thing, although slightly livelier. It comes with three (count 'em, kids, three!) Purple Hearts, and either a barn coat campaign ensemble or Senate Floor blue suit. Wow! Check out its Amazing Subcommittee Q&A and Filibuster action. Pull the string in its back, and it says those wacky catchphrases that won the heart of a nation: “I voted for the war before I voted against it,” “Work on your grades or you’ll get stuck in Iraq,” and “I guess my '08 campaign is pretty much dead, huh?”
Snowboarding Secret Service Sidekick and Eccentric First Lady Wannabe sold separately.
King Tut.
No problem, thanks for this very entertaining thread.
King Tut comes complete with removable internal organs, mummy wrapping action and several jars of food that expired millennia ago. Note: Not intended for use by young children. May contain small parts and/or curses.
Martin Van Buren
The Martin Van Buren action figure comes with a small pamphlet explaining who he actually was. His fingers make an “OK” gesture, and his great mass of hair can be styled into an afro, mohawk or other amusing 'dos. Old Kinderhook’s black suit is a little on the monochrome side, though, truth be told.
Eleanor of Aquitaine.
Eleanor of Aquitaine–comes with 3 exciting outfits: Bee-keeper, deep-sea diver, and Madonna Wannabee.
Napoleon.
Napoleon’s hand is, of course, stuck inside his coat. When you open the coat, you see that (contrary to popular belief) it’s not just warming his tummy… it’s holding a silver drink flask! Napoleon’s figure is shorter than almost every other figure in the collection.
Emperor Caracalla (c’mon, this one’s easy)
The Emperor Caracalla action figure is actually just a clever marketing ploy by LucasArts, who found themselves with an unsaleable surplus of Obi-Wan toys for which the cloak had been made a bit too large, and didn’t really look much like Ewan McGregor.
Boudicca