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  #1  
Old 02-27-2007, 07:01 AM
WordMan WordMan is offline
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David "Partridge Family" Cassidy - new tell-all book

And it can't get a publisher in the U.S. apparently.

See this linkfrom MSNBC.com (it's the second or third piece)

Quote:
“Could It Be Forever” tells of Cassidy’s drug use, wild sex, his infatuation with Meredith Baxter, a romp with Barbara the Butter Queen who liked to cover her sex partners with butter, and an encounter with 1950s screen star Gina Lollobrigida.

“I’ve always been very comfortable with my sexuality and my brothers call me ‘Donk’ — as in Donkey. People have talked about me being ‘blessed’ in my physique,” Cassidy writes in the book. “The first time [I met Gina Lollobrigida] she looked me up and down and said: ‘I hear you’re a monster. I want to meet the monster.’ Well, I decided that if I had it, there wasn’t any point in just keeping it in the holster all the time.”
Man, what class. Way to go, Donk.
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  #2  
Old 02-27-2007, 07:12 AM
Crotalus Crotalus is offline
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All right, 'fess up. You're jealous.
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  #3  
Old 02-27-2007, 07:16 AM
Terrorcotta Terrorcotta is offline
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'Donk', huh? I guess if it's a pop-up book I'm in!
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  #4  
Old 02-27-2007, 08:48 AM
silenus silenus is online now
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I read once that his unit was refered to as a "long and slender thing." If it's a pop-up book, they may have to fold it.
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  #5  
Old 02-27-2007, 09:08 AM
SkeptiJess SkeptiJess is offline
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He already covered this material in C'mon Get Happy: Fear & Loathing On The Partridge Family Bus. It says a lot about him and his overly-inflated self esteem that he thinks the world needs two tell-all books about David Cassidy.

I did actually read C'mon Get Happy... I don't remember him talking about the size of his dick, though. Maybe I just forgot. Or maybe 'Donk' is the big revelation requiring a whole second book. The main thing I remember about the book is that David seemed like a genuine, gold-plated, thoroughly conceited asshole.

Last edited by Jess; 02-27-2007 at 09:09 AM..
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  #6  
Old 02-27-2007, 09:19 AM
Abby_Emma_Sasha Abby_Emma_Sasha is offline
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Wow. When I was a teenager I worshipped DC. His posters littered my bedroom wall and I had all the Partridge Family records. Hell, I even owned the damned PF lunchbox.

I feel so cool, now. C'mon get happy, indeed.

Last edited by Abby_Emma_Sasha; 02-27-2007 at 09:20 AM..
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  #7  
Old 02-27-2007, 09:25 AM
Earl Snake-Hips Tucker Earl Snake-Hips Tucker is offline
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I have read that other Cassidy (Jack and Shaun) men were similarly "blessed." Don't know that it's ever been corroborated, but I've never read that they denied it.
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  #8  
Old 02-27-2007, 09:46 AM
WordMan WordMan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crotalus
All right, 'fess up. You're jealous.

It ain't the size of the guitar, it's how you strum it.
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  #9  
Old 02-27-2007, 10:21 AM
Crotalus Crotalus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WordMan
It ain't the size of the guitar, it's how you strum it.
I have always propounded that theory as well.
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  #10  
Old 02-27-2007, 10:27 AM
WordMan WordMan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crotalus
I have always propounded that theory as well.
Hmmm, and yet you picked your username based on a Rattlesnake - nothing Freudian there!! At least "Snake" is better than Donk!!
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  #11  
Old 02-27-2007, 11:07 AM
twickster twickster is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WordMan
Hmmm, and yet you picked your username based on a Rattlesnake - nothing Freudian there!! At least "Snake" is better than Donk!!
Wasn't Natalie's BF in The Facts of Life named "Snake"?

And what's worse -- that I know this or that I rewrote the post completely because the first one somehow disappeared?

Last edited by twickster; 02-27-2007 at 11:07 AM.. Reason: fix coding. sigh.
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  #12  
Old 02-27-2007, 11:16 AM
Crotalus Crotalus is offline
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Did you know that snakes actually have two "instruments"?
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  #13  
Old 02-27-2007, 11:18 AM
Abby_Emma_Sasha Abby_Emma_Sasha is offline
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Quote:
Wasn't Natalie's BF in The Facts of Life named "Snake"?
I don't know about Natalie, but Laurie Partridge had a suitor named Snake (played by Rob Reiner). I rule on Partridge trivia.
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  #14  
Old 02-27-2007, 11:43 AM
Vlad/Igor Vlad/Igor is offline
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Oh my. Middle age for former teen idols is such an ugly thing.
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  #15  
Old 02-27-2007, 12:12 PM
Abby_Emma_Sasha Abby_Emma_Sasha is offline
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Shut it, whippersnapper.
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  #16  
Old 02-27-2007, 12:32 PM
faithfool faithfool is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Earl Snake-Hips Tucker
I have read that other Cassidy (Jack and Shaun) men were similarly "blessed." Don't know that it's ever been corroborated, but I've never read that they denied it.
Back in the day, I'd have been more than happy to confirm those rumors about Shaun. If I'd been old enough. If I'd been in the general vicinity. If I'd been asked. But other than those trivial details, I'd've been so in. To me, he was by far the hottest thing on two legs (second only to Leif) and his brother was goofy. But judging by most aged teen idols, none of them ended up being all that, so what do I know?
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  #17  
Old 02-27-2007, 12:51 PM
lieu lieu is offline
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Do tell, David.

David Cassidy of the 1970's show The Partridge Family shocked fans when he revealed that he once slept with his TV sister Susan Dey. He says that he was never attracted to the actress but she was so determined to get him in bed, so he finally gave in. He says that he regretted it later. He says, "I find a certain sluttiness very attractive in a woman, and Susan just didn't have it. She was sweetness and innocence, a good girl, and I couldn't think of her as anything but my sister."

Kinda strikes me as all throb and no heart.
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  #18  
Old 02-27-2007, 01:04 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Earl Snake-Hips Tucker
I have read that other Cassidy (Jack and Shaun) men were similarly "blessed." Don't know that it's ever been corroborated, but I've never read that they denied it.
Who was the last actor to deny having a big schlong? Probably the same guy who admitted to stomping on beagle puppies.
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  #19  
Old 02-27-2007, 01:32 PM
Biffy the Elephant Shrew Biffy the Elephant Shrew is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elendil's Heir
Who was the last actor to deny having a big schlong?
(Not an actor, but still a celebrity.) Possibly Leonard Bernstein. Quoted from memory:

Deanie, Deanie,
Show me your peeny, do!
I'm all steamy, all for the love of you.
You want to see mine? It's teeny!
But that's 'cause I'm a sheeny.
But you're a goy,
And boy oh boy,
I'll just bet that it's built for two!

Last edited by Biffy the Elephant Shrew; 02-27-2007 at 01:33 PM..
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  #20  
Old 02-27-2007, 04:04 PM
WordMan WordMan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crotalus
Did you know that snakes actually have two "instruments"?

Does that mean you should change your username to "Crotalus Donk Donk"??
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  #21  
Old 02-27-2007, 05:57 PM
Walloon Walloon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elendil's Heir
Who was the last actor to deny having a big schlong?
Eminem.
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  #22  
Old 02-27-2007, 06:33 PM
tiger lily tiger lily is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elendil's Heir
Who was the last actor to deny having a big schlong?
Not an actor, but still... I don't think he could have been any clearer (third story down):

Enrique Iglesias Admits He Has Very Small Penis
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  #23  
Old 02-27-2007, 06:36 PM
Wile E Wile E is online now
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I had a crush on him when I was younger but I was too young to understand the significance of the size of one's member and now that I know I am too old to care about his.
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  #24  
Old 02-27-2007, 06:43 PM
Miller Miller is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WordMan
It ain't the size of the guitar, it's how you strum it.
You have a guitar. I have an upright bass.
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  #25  
Old 02-27-2007, 07:37 PM
silenus silenus is online now
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Guitar or bass, if all you are doing is strumming it yourself..........





I'm just sayin'.
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  #26  
Old 02-28-2007, 08:58 AM
WordMan WordMan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silenus
Guitar or bass, if all you are doing is strumming it yourself..........





I'm just sayin'.
A clear limitation of the metaphor, no question - but the point holds. And I prefer to play my guitar in a combo, anyway - but don't know if I am ready for the metaphor to stretch into group situations, either!

And Miller - your upright - doesn't that get painful after a few hours, like they warn about on Viagra ads?
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  #27  
Old 02-28-2007, 09:13 AM
Crotalus Crotalus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WordMan
Does that mean you should change your username to "Crotalus Donk Donk"??
Hey, I'm not a snake, I only play one on a message board. Maybe you should send Miller a link to that youtube video of the Tielman Brothers, so he can see what that guitar player did with a stand-up bass.
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  #28  
Old 02-28-2007, 10:00 AM
Operation Ripper Operation Ripper is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jess
The main thing I remember about the book is that David seemed like a genuine, gold-plated, thoroughly conceited asshole.
Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, eh? Heard his old man was a douche too, from David. Wait a minute... .
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  #29  
Old 02-28-2007, 12:10 PM
Carl Corey Carl Corey is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WordMan
Does that mean you should change your username to "Crotalus Donk Donk"??

[Kirk/]"No more donk donk!"[/Kirk]
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  #30  
Old 02-28-2007, 12:49 PM
PoorYorick PoorYorick is offline
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Only on Straight Dope would a post about a celebrity's tell-all book derail into a discussion of snake morphology and celebrities with small penes.

I always wanted to use that plural. Thanks for giving me the excuse.
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  #31  
Old 02-28-2007, 12:52 PM
Biffy the Elephant Shrew Biffy the Elephant Shrew is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PoorYorick
I always wanted to use that plural. Thanks for giving me the excuse.
If you like that, note that the snake's equipment is referred to as the hemipenes.
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  #32  
Old 02-28-2007, 01:01 PM
silenus silenus is online now
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If the snake was named Enrique, would they be demihemipenes?








My 14,000th post, and it was a bad joke about reptile wangs.
__________________
Alcohol - Because no great story ever starts with a salad.

Last edited by silenus; 02-28-2007 at 01:02 PM..
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  #33  
Old 02-28-2007, 04:00 PM
lowbrass lowbrass is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elendil's Heir
Who was the last actor to deny having a big schlong? Probably the same guy who admitted to stomping on beagle puppies.
Howard Stern. I was gonna say he's not an actor, but he did make a movie.
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  #34  
Old 02-28-2007, 04:09 PM
mrklutz mrklutz is offline
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Donk: "That water sure is cold."
Donk donk: "Deep, too."
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  #35  
Old 02-28-2007, 04:10 PM
Miller Miller is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silenus
Guitar or bass, if all you are doing is strumming it yourself..........
Hey, it's only the big stars that get the solos.
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  #36  
Old 02-28-2007, 04:56 PM
Sampiro Sampiro is offline
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Then there's that probably apocryphal story about the time the Cassidy Brothers were all at the Brown Derby and got into an argument over who was most bodonka Donk and it ended with Shirley Jones pulling out just enough to win.

But I may have this confused with another "
Shirley Jones winning a penis contest" story.
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  #37  
Old 03-04-2007, 08:30 AM
Earl Snake-Hips Tucker Earl Snake-Hips Tucker is offline
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OK, just one more comment on the Cassidy clan's alleged tumescent splendor:

I just saw a rerun of "Hawaii Five-O" in which Jack Cassidy plays a character named "Morwood." I don't know that "wood" back in the 1970s would have been recognized as meaning "erection," but, in today's vernacular, I could just imaging Cassidy saying, "Yeah, that's right. I am Morwood, and I have more wood."
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