Tell me about your odd co-workers

[Edward The Head]

I work for the feds, we seem to attract a good amount of strange people in the office.

Our first person works across the hall. He looks a bit like Alfred Hitchcock, walks very stiff and without moving his arms. I've never talked to him, but from what I've heard he doesn't do anything while in training.

Next we have the guy who never makes eye contact. That's not so strange from what I hear of other offices. This guy though goes out of his way not to make eye contact. He will stop when someone is walking down the hall and face the wall. I've heard that if he does make eye contact he will say sorry. He also can't seem to use the urinal so he pees all over the seat.

The last guy is a real piece of work. We were at one point allowed to wear shorts to work. One day he wears a pair of shorts that would have made Magnum PI cringe, there was nothing left to the imagination. He's gotten a hair transplant, yet he still wears a cowboy hat all the time. Even that's not the strangest though, every few days he does what we call 'The Show'. Right around 3:15 he goes into the bathroom and strips down, all in view of everyone. It's quite a shock when you've forgotten about it. No one can understand why he just doesn't change in the larger stall, that's what everyone else will do.

So what do the people in your office do?

[TheMerchandise]

Wow. Your guys put my coworkers to shame. We’re a relatively normal bunch, I guess.

My boss walks around without shoes on, which grosses everyone out. People have taken to mocking him openly about it, but that hasn’t deterred him yet. He will also push his chair in the corner some days, so he can kneel in front of his desk and do his work. I’ve walked by and caught site of this – it looks like he’s preparing to fellate his computer.

[Litoris]

Originally Posted by TheMerchandise

Wow. Your guys put my coworkers to shame. We’re a relatively normal bunch, I guess.

My boss walks around without shoes on, which grosses everyone out. People have taken to mocking him openly about it, but that hasn’t deterred him yet. He will also push his chair in the corner some days, so he can kneel in front of his desk and do his work. I’ve walked by and caught site of this – it looks like he’s preparing to fellate his computer.

You know, I had a boss once who preferred to kneel in front of the computer as opposed to sitting in a chair -- of course, he was 6'6", so if he sat in a chair, he was all hunched down. Is your boss really tall?

We don't have a lot of weirdos here, just ignorant, rude and annoying

[dwc1970]

At my previous job as a printer tester there were some interesting characters. Here are the ones I remember the most clearly:

• The guy who had a collection of (I kid you not), over 50 empty Dr Pepper cans in his cubicle. Someone must have told him he had to get rid of them since they were all gone one day. Another guy had a similar collection, but with Mountain Dew cans instead.
• The stuffed animal collector- Her cubicle resembled the stuffed animal display you'd see at a carnival game.
• The pen collector- She had over 100 pens in all colors (not sure about the ink, I'm talking about the plastic shell itself). She had them neatly displayed on the wall.
• The ramen noodles junkie- He kept an entire case of Ramen noodles under his desk and never let a day pass without eating them.
• The guy who never sat down. He stood at his computer terminal all day and did his work that way.

[Lissla Lissar]

Hm. Well, last summer we had this washed-up guy in his late fifties who got hired to work three shifts a week. He had the worst teeth I've ever seen, an odd sideways glance, and a scruffy beard. He talked constantly (but only to the young women) about the fabulous life he'd had, working for enormous financial firms in Japan and Europe.

And then he'd complain about how Welfare was taking away some of his normal cheque, because he'd started working. He'd whine for hours about how unfair it was, and how he shouldn't have to work for a living, and talk about scams to get the extra money back.

He was up to two hours late every shift, whined about the lights, complained about constant migraines, and couldn't handle our high-tech software (copyright 1995).

After two months of agony, he quit. He wasn't fired, because my manager is a non-confontational coward. He quit in a rage, claming that he'd been mistreated, given bad shifts, and no consideration.


Now we've only got the Incredibly Paranoid budding Cat Lady with extreme intimacy issues. The one who thinks Cuddle Parties are probably a good idea, because not everyone wants friends, but people need to be hugged. And won't take up sewing or any crafts because they might produce splinters or dropped pins that might Endanger the Cats.

[Quartz]

Originally Posted by dwc1970

The pen collector- She had over 100 pens in all colors (not sure about the ink, I'm talking about the plastic shell itself). She had them neatly displayed on the wall.

Did she have anything to do with purchasing? It's a common ploy when entertaining a potential supplier to pull out the pen of a competitor. You see, they then make sure you have one of their own.

[Lionne]

I have only one co-worker who deserves a mention: she feels the need to tell me a new story every day about her wild and exciting nightlife. The dates she goes on with guys 15 years younger than her...how late she stayed up the night before...how she ran into her ex's new girlfriend and told her off...how much money she spent and how drunk she got...it never ends. The woman is in her late 30's with 2 children. Her latest 'date' was lunch with a guy who had been dating a friend of hers, and who told her if she slept with him, he'd open an account here. Only he wasn't joking!
When I asked her why on earth was she meeting him for lunch after he said that, her reply was, "because he's fun and cute...it doesn't mean anything."

I do what I can not to listen, but since that's pretty much all she talks about aside from work stuff, I can't ignore her.

[slortar]

And remember, if you don't have any interesting coworkers to add here, it's probably because you are the odd coworker.

[Beadalin]

At my last job, I also had an eye-contact avoider. I made it a game to see if I could get him to acknowledge me in any way when I saw him. In five years of passing him several times a day in the hallway, and even attending a few meetings in common, I got only one instance of eye contact.

At my current job, the only person who strikes me as odd is also the nicest guy imaginable. He works in the mailroom, and his oddity is that he says everything twice. "Hi hi. Yes yes. Good good. OK OK. Bye bye. Thanks. Thanks."

[Yllaria]

Originally Posted by slortar

And remember, if you don't have any interesting coworkers to add here, it's probably because you are the odd coworker.

I was afraid of that.

[plnnr]

Originally Posted by TheMerchandise

My boss walks around without shoes on, which grosses everyone out.

I was once a paralegal in an extremely large law firm (400+ attorneys, offices all over the globe) and attended a meeting with the managing partner. He took not only his shoes, but his socks, off and picked his toenails. Given that the meeting was also about a case, he was getting paid in excess of $400 per hour to do so. He also had an incredibly foul mouth. He seemed to have a retarded adolescence combined with a mind like a steel trap - he was "scary" smart and completely clueless all at the same time.

[BaneSidhe]

Weeeellll...seeing as I'm the oddity of the office somewhat (flaming red haired, hobbit-sized, busty, Valkryie/Barking Mad Horselady with a penchant for sparkly, noisy accessories, weaponry, stuffed toys and Def Leppard) I think I shouldn't say anything.

Nah!

There is a guy who works in Permitting who is OBSESSED with animal sex. Not with people, each other. When he found out that yes I have been one of the people working with a stallion and mare during live cover breedings, he trapped me in the file room at our old office and grilled me about live cover breeding, artificial insemination (as in "Have you ever...SEEN...it done?") and other grossness. He also has told me about sitting on his back porch, watching every dog in the neighborhood jump his fence to get at his female dauchshound...and the resulting melee.

He talks like a bad Dylan wannabe and always has this look in his eyes that he's going to start salivating and acting like Egor. Oh yeah---he doesn't call his wife or kids by their names. It's "the woman," and his kids are "the boy" and "the girl."

Brr.

[I-Carumba]

Originally Posted by slortar

And remember, if you don't have any interesting coworkers to add here, it's probably because you are the odd coworker.

Am not!

Yes you are...

Am not...

You are, you know..

Oh don't listen to him!

[Dung Beetle]

Originally Posted by slortar

And remember, if you don't have any interesting coworkers to add here, it's probably because you are the odd coworker.

The only unusual thing about my co-workers is their utter inability to shut up. I guess that makes me the weird one.

I'm the one who's friendly and cheerful on the phone, glum and taciturn in person.

[Dung Beetle]

Originally Posted by BaneSidhe

and his kids are "the boy" and "the girl."

Brr.

Crap, I do that too...but in my defense, it's because I don't expect people to remember my kids' names.

[twickster]

Originally Posted by slortar

And remember, if you don't have any interesting coworkers to add here, it's probably because you are the odd coworker.

Nuh-uh.

[Edward The Head]

Originally Posted by TheMerchandise

My boss walks around without shoes on

There are a couple of people here who don't wear shoes all the time, I'm one of them. My feet sweat way too much so when I'm at my desk I usually have my shoes off. I'll do somethings, like pick up stuff from the printer, but other then that I'll put my shoes on. I do wear socks though.

[Dushichka]

We have one...woman...in the office who is just odd. Very nice but odd. She's probably in her early to mid 40's. She wears her hair in braided pigtails every. day. Which is not so bad in and of itself, but every day she wears a cutesy little babydoll-type dress. She talks with this teensy-weensy little voice (except one time when a coworker backed into in the parking lot--I swear she BARKED curses at him). I dunno, maybe it's age compensation? For the most part she's a great person and really sweet, but it's a little creepy to see.

Oh, and her daughter helps her do her hair. Her daughter's about 10 or so, and dresses exactly the same--at least, they're dressed in matching pink gingham babydoll dresses in the picture on her desk. It's a little eerie.

[BoBettie]

I have one coworker that's like a Borg. Hey, you want a root beer float? They're making some in the break room!
"No, I do not require liquid sustenance at this time."

OK not really, but basically. It's all work all the time. Small talk- forget it. Not interested, and in fact pretty much doesn't even hear it. Luckily my husband is often the same way, so I have no problem giving people their quiet when that's what they want, but another coworker seems obsessed with getting him to talk. I'm thinking seriously, don't even bother. Speak to them when you need to, be polite, but leave it at that. Some people just aren't about the chatter.

[slortar]

Originally Posted by twickster

Nuh-uh.

One of us, one of us!

[Sofaspud]

I work in a call center, so as you might guess, we get all types. The anti-social weird ones don't usually last long, fortunately.

Lessee here.

* OCD Lady. All the agents share desks with someone on the opposite shift. For that matter, they may get a different desk every day, though of course people tend to adopt one as 'their' desk. At any rate, we have one lady who is so completely anal about "her" desk that she's been known to write notes to the night crew about how they need to keep their junk neatly organized, in the area she marked on the desk. She literally took masking tape and divided the desk, including cube walls, in half. Problem is, she doesn't seem to grasp that it's not one person using her desk at night, but potentially anybody. She's complained at least once every week since the day she started about how they keep messing up "her" desk. Her work area resembles a Japanese stone garden in it's preciseness... it's creepy.

* Happy Man. This guy is great on the phone, he's smart, he's capable, he works hard... and he has this compulsion to say "Happy <x>!" to everyone he sees, where X could be any day of the week, a holiday, or someone's birthday -- usually someone completely unknown to the person he's talking to. And if you don't respond to him, he keeps saying it, *exactly* the same way -- intonation, pitch, you name it -- until you acknowledge him in some way. Then he wanders off again, mission completed, until the next poor victim enters his sights.

"Happy FRIday!" (pause) "Happy FRIday!" (pause) "Happy FRIday!"

*mumble* "Yeah you too, man."

He's a nice guy, and does good work, but geez!

This weird habit of his does not seem to extend to the phone work. It's only face-to-face (or face-to-profile or back, heh) that triggers it.

[Incubus]

Tutor here:

Two come to mind-

One guy who used to work with us was the biggest whiner I have ever met. The guy was in his forties but whinge and whinge if he had to tutor a kid who was hard to control. Nobody at my work enjoys working with 'problem kids' but we have much more professional ways of coping with it. He would do back stretches in an unused conference room. All the conference rooms have windows everywhere, so you'd intermittently see the guy's head bob up as he sat up, then disappear back down. he also left the lights off in the room while he did this, making it creepy. He tended to abuse 'prep time' which was the time we were paid for putting together lesson plans, getting/returning textbooks from the shelf, etc. Most of his 'prep' involved plugging his computer into a nearby internet jack and running his other job, some online business. After a while he got busted for it but quit before they could fire him. Not surprisingly everybody else had to sign this affadavit stating that we promise not to misuse resources bla bla bla...

Another fella still works with us. He's not that odd aside from the fact that he is very slow. Not slow as in dumb, slow as in his work gets done too slowly. Normally at the end of the day we put together lesson plans for the following day. I've gotten extremely efficient at this, and actually usually leave as soon as I'm finished with teaching classes. This guy, however, will spend hours at it. You might think maybe he's just doing it to milk more hours, but actually our prep time pays almost nothing (barely above minimum wage) so if you work two jobs like most of us its actually more cost effective to minimize prep work so you'll have more time to work at a second job that pays more for the same time. If left to his own devices, he'll be in there from 8 when we close to 10 PM, and often have to come in on his days off to get caught up. Its rather annoying because we often share students so often the lesson plans are unfinished, and he steadfastly refuses help when he's behind. I think the only reason he hasn't gotten fired yet is because our managers have a turnover rate of about 8 months, so by the time the managers realize that this guy isn't pulling his weight they quit/get promoted/etc. That, or they let it happen because we're constantly shorthanded so having a guy that is too slow is slightly better than being a whole body short.

[UntouchedTakeaway]

This co-worker would make my list

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=406275


VCNJ~

[twickster]

Originally Posted by slortar

One of us, one of us!

Nuh-uh!

[TheMerchandise]

I feel like I should elaborate on my boss’s shoe-less-ness a bit. By themselves, feet aren't necessarily too weird. But these!

My boss wears a suit every day (weird enough by itself because the main office dress code is “don’t look like a student”) and then walks around in it with no shoes on. And he has freakishly hairy hobbit feet. He also has a habit of drumming his toes on the floor as he talks to you. Creepy AND distracting!

It has gotten to the point where people are openly mocking him for this, but he continues anyway.

[Projammer]

Originally Posted by slortar

And remember, if you don't have any interesting coworkers to add here, it's probably because you are the odd coworker.

The voices in my head don't like you very much.

[betenoir]

Originally Posted by TheMerchandise

.

My boss walks around without shoes on, which grosses everyone out.

Naked feet? Feh. My old boss used to give instructions for the day (we worked out of his apartment) while he floated naked in his bathtub. Saw more of his cock that summer than I did my boyfriend's.

[TheMerchandise]

Originally Posted by betenoir

Naked feet? Feh. My old boss used to give instructions for the day (we worked out of his apartment) while he floated naked in his bathtub. Saw more of his cock that summer than I did my boyfriend's.

Heh.

This gives me some perspective. Thanks.

[Gala Matrix Fire]

Originally Posted by BoBettie

I have one coworker that's like a Borg. Hey, you want a root beer float? They're making some in the break room!
"No, I do not require liquid sustenance at this time."...

Ha! You just reminded me of a former coworker who we all thought was a little bit unusual...one time he slipped up and said, "Greetings, earthlings," to us when we passed him in the hallway.

[olivesmarch4th]

The weirdest co-worker I ever had was very loud-mouthed and flamboyant, and extremely religious. A lot of my co-workers apparently were, because they asked me about my religion, and when I told them I was a Buddhist, they all gave me looks of utter disbelief.

From that point on, my loud-mouthed flamboyant co-worker made it a point to sing church hymns at the top of his lungs right in my ear. And if I snapped at him, he'd ''tsk,tsk'' and say, ''Come on, now. We're all in this together. PRAISE THE LORD!''

I pretty much wanted to punch him. A lot.

[Silver Tyger]

I'm pretty sure I'm the odd coworker.

Although one of the salesmen insists on singing all the time, even though everyone else tells, nay, begs him not to. But that's more annoying (and murder-inducing) than anything else. No, he doesn't sing well, by any stretch of the term.

[Bobotheoptimist]

There was the one that channeled alien transmissions.

And the one that doesn't pay taxes and frantically searched for shield bedrock to escape the Planet X (Minnesota is apparently safe from rogue planets)

And the guy that sterilized his cubicle twice a day while saving used apple cores on his shelf. Washed his hands until they were raw, chapped, red. But was the first into the conference rooms to eat leftover food.

But this one guy has the soundtrack to the latest Shrek movie on his iPod (he has no kids) and plays it loudly.

[dwc1970]

Originally Posted by Quartz

Did she have anything to do with purchasing? It's a common ploy when entertaining a potential supplier to pull out the pen of a competitor. You see, they then make sure you have one of their own.

This was a private office where no outside clients could enter, so even if she was in purchasing (which I doubt, not sure what her actual job duties were), nobody external to the company would have seen what pen she was using.

[Obeseus]

A former co-worker was an engineer. He was quite a nerd. The dress code was casual. Most people wore dress pants and a button-up shirt or polo shirt. This guy was the only one who wore a tie. He came in every day with black shoes, white socks, black pants (high-waters), white shirt (with pocket protector), and black tie. Every single day. He was about 5'5", about 35 years old, greasy hair, coke-bottle glasses, and walked hunched over.

Every couple of days, he would approach one of the pretty ladies in the office and ask to borrow a pen, tape, or something. The next day the guy would have flowers delivered to the lady who loaned him something. The card would say something like, "It was very kind of you to loan me your pen while I was in need. I sincerely appreciate your generosity. Thank you for being my friend." Needless to say, he was creeping them out. He must have been spending $75 a week just on flowers (& that was for the work place. Who knows what good samaritans had flowers delivered in his personal life.)

One day the guy called in. Most people in odd circumstances would just call in sick, but not this guy. He explained to the boss that he woke up in the back seat of his car in New York City (a two-hour drive from home/work) and his pants were missing.

For beneficiaries on his insurance forms, the guy listed the Pope, WWII military heroes and celebrities (many of whom were already deceased.) The guy didn't last long.

[TroubleAgain]

The net is not anonymous enough for me to tell you about my co-workers. ::shifty eyes::

[Quartz]

Originally Posted by betenoir

Naked feet? Feh. My old boss used to give instructions for the day (we worked out of his apartment) while he floated naked in his bathtub. Saw more of his cock that summer than I did my boyfriend's.

You worked for Winston Churchill?

[Triskadecamus]

I had a coworker who had a number of characteristics we all found to be statistically unlikely.

He lived in a tree house. (Illegally it turned out, it wasn't his tree house.)

He used the money he saved to send his dog to the Bahamas to get laid.

He was an exotic dancer.

He left our employment to become an EMT, after which he got a job as a traveling companion for a very wealthy woman he met while accompanying his dog to a dog show.

Nice guy, but weird.

Of course, he told me attempting to cold sight read to my coworkers from Paradise Lost was weird, so go figure.

Tris

[betenoir]

Originally Posted by Quartz

You worked for Winston Churchill?

Better than working for LBJ.

Thought of another one. Another boss. I'm sure I had tons of weird coworkers, but but the commie in me tends to take it out on the boss.

My manager. Bookstore. I don't believe she ever actually read a book in her life. Came there from selling vaacums. We were doing my yearly evlauation, and for some reason she segued into a story about how she grew upon on farm and would pull out the calfs with her hand. I did not need to know that. Not a bad thing, but I I did not need to think of this this obnioxios illiterate bureaucrat with her hand up some poor cow. Not when I was feeling like a poor cow to begin with.

[Antigen]

A crazy paranoid woman worked with me in a lab. She wore a face shield all the time, and wiped down every surface a million times before sitting down to work. I'd believe that maybe she was immunocompromised and wanted to be careful, except that she brought the shield home with her every night. I asked her why she did that and she said it's because she was afraid someone might take it. Right. The spongy bit at the forehead is covered in stains from her foundation, one of the arms is cracked, and her name is written all over it. Definitely the first thing I'd steal from the locker room. And we all had lockers. Why not leave it in hers? Definitely some kind of paranoid germophobe stuff going on there - why did she choose to work in a hospital lab, of all places? Medical techs work with poop on a daily basis! Test sputum for TB!

Besides all this she was antisocial to a frightening degree. Nobody knows anything at all about her life outside of work. Someone told me she was married, but I just can't picture it, unless maybe she has a second personality in there. She never went to outings, and wouldn't even join in when we ordered takeout - even when it was paid for by the lab.

Just weird.

[blackhobyah]

Originally Posted by I-Carumba

Am not!

Yes you are...

Am not...

You are, you know..

Oh don't listen to him!

I used to work with a woman who was pleasant enough, but decidedly strange. She'd talk to herself all the time, and, apparently, answer herself, although she'd talk to you quite normally if you were in conversation.

One morning I was walking down a corridor and she was behind me, and I heard her say, "Oh, that's Blackhobyah. We like her'.

[BaneSidhe]

Originally Posted by Dung Beetle

Crap, I do that too...but in my defense, it's because I don't expect people to remember my kids' names.

This guy does it because he's just FUCKING WEIRD. Most people around here use "son" or "daughter" but this guy refuses to. He makes his wife do all the paperwork for their kids because I'm sure he DOES NOT KNOW HIS CHILDREN'S NAMES.

[Khampelf]

Originally Posted by blackhobyah

One morning I was walking down a corridor and she was behind me, and I heard her say, "Oh, that's Blackhobyah. We like her'.

Better than hearing "Oh, that's Blackhobyah, she is on the list, she will pay, when the day of cleansing is at hand."

I'm very much the odd one in our office. My immediate supervisor and the Office manager, are both openly, but quietly christian. I actually keep my social life and work pretty separate, but If you are going to casually mention your bible study or this or that church group, I will casually mention how much fun it was dancing skyclad around a bonfire at Beltane.

[elfkin477]

I forgot to mention something about the creepy guy at work: sometimes he wears his shirt like this. I know, who doesn't find the Great Cornholio funny? But the thing is he's not fooling around when he does it, just working. And it's bright purple, which puts people in mind of the virgin Mary. He walks through the center of the room now, sometimes, so that's an improvement anyway.

[movingfinger]

I worked (very briefly) in a small business where one of the clerks whistled all the time. Now, whistling can be very annoying, especially from those whistlers who think they are gifted musicians. But this guy whistled one note, holding it as long as he could. He would do this about twice an hour. Not terribly loud, but weird, nonetheless.

[Caractacus Pott]

Oh, boy, I had a boss. What a boss. The employee manual, which was typed up 15 years prior and amended frequently, was curiously detailed on dress code. Specifically, use of "supportive undergarments" and "deodorant use." It was readily obvious she'd burned her bra with the others in 1968. Unfortunately, she, being from eastern European stock, was a rather busty gal. Ugh. The icing on that cake was the sleeveless tops she wore. With huge armholes. AAAAAAaaaahhhh! I looked her in the eyes to prevent hysterical blindness.

I didn't notice the reason for the other rule until after the old secretary quit. She, the secretary, always walked into work inside a cloud of perfume. Once she was gone, OH MY GAWD! The stench. I've worked in the Sahara Desert in July with oilfield roughnecks who showered every 28 days whether they needed it or not. This woman put them to shame. By the way, she's the VP of the company, head of sales, the face of the company to customers.

She, in 2003, had the secretaries, before they quit, pull unpaid invoices from as far back as 1990 to try to bill customers for them. Sheah, right! Meanwhile, a customer kept begging for her to take their money to upgrade their service agreement. She'd been ignoring them for a while before I got there and continued the silent treatment until I left 6 months later.

Oh wait! Has anyone heard of this? She wouldn't allow anyone to have a list of phone extensions visible. Why? She didn't want visiting customers to wonder where all the people are who should be at the extensions. I guess the fact that there are 5 cars in the parking lot wouldn't clue these visitors in that there's not many people inside. This might be a concern if customers actually visited.

That's just the tip of the iceberg. It was painful to live through but absolutely hilarious to remember.

[Queen Tonya]

I work in a factory and we seem a particularly attractive place to work for folks that can't survive in the 'real' world. The odd coworkers outnumber the normal folks by a mile.

One oddly cheerful guy began hellooing and goodbying me; even following me on break to chat, sure that's nice and polite but in a workplace of hundreds of people generally if you haven't had reason to work together or be introduced you go with the polite head bob of recognition instead, eh? I responded with the politely distant and non-chatty type replies, just figuring poor social skills.
Oddly cheerful guy then corners my (male) work partner in an aisleway one day, asking partner to please let me know that he's an okay fella, since he didn't want to "scare" me and apparently sensed my reticence. Partner gleefully reports back to me, and I endure two or three days of teasing about oddly cheerful guy crushing on me.
One afternoon as I'm about to hit the exit door, I hear someone walking behind me and automatically hold the door for them. Of course it's OCG, so I politely bid him a good evening and he geeks right out of his face, and I quote: "Hey, you too! Guess you decided I was good enough to talk to after all, that's great! I'm so happy! I'm going to take you off the list now, have a wonderful night!"
While every afterschool special I ever watched growing up was screaming inside my head to run away from the crazy man, I just had to know. "What list?"
"Oh, nothing really, just a list I keep of who's not polite. No big deal, I was about to add you to it, I've said good morning to you in the parking lot three times this week and you just grunted at me, but now you're okay!"
"I certainly never intended any offense, please accept my apology. At 5:30 am, I'm afraid a grunt is about all I can manage, y'know?"
"Sure, sure, I understand, it's all good, you're totally off the list!"
"You're not being literal right? You don't actually keep a list, what could you possibly need it for?"
Eyes suddenly shifty, "Well, y'know, it's just a hobby. It's like, if I see someone broke down on the road and they're on the list, I'd just wave and not stop to help, see? That's all, yeah."
"Of course, sure, I getcha. Well, have a great night, buhbye now!"

Haven't seen him much lately, actually. He's taken medical leaves before for mental stress issues, so perhaps he's doing that again. Good to know at least I'm not on the list, at least.

[Pithy Moniker]

Wow, most of these put our guy to shame.

My office weirdo works in shipping, not all that far from my desk actually. He likes collecting pictures of people that have been shot in the head. Once he really likes you, he'll offer to show you his collection. Yes, he's offered to show it to me.

He also screams at his family on the telephone some afternoons. Add to all this the fact that he has a large heavy dufflebag that he brings to work every day and you have the makings of an office tragedy one night on the news.

[catsix]

I have two coworkers who, when we go on business trips, will not eat anywhere but national chain restaurants that we also have at home.

They would be thrilled to eat three meals a day at McDonald's.

[don't ask]

I'm pretty sure if you asked most people that I work with I am the odd guy at work. I like a joke and will go to great lengths to amuse myself. My latest attempt was to make fun of the "I have a Blackberry" culture at work. I bought a little $10 Fisher Price Doodle Pro, fitted it with a little clip and started wearing it on my belt at work.

I would be talking to someone, make the sound "beep, beep,beep" and excuse myself to check "my blackberry." I had a string of similarly mindless gags.

I stopped wearing it around but people still insist that I show so-and-so "the blackberry." Now it sits on my desk as a kind of permanent post-it-note and that's how my staff leave me messages.

[BoBettie]

Originally Posted by don't ask

I'm pretty sure if you asked most people that I work with I am the odd guy at work. I like a joke and will go to great lengths to amuse myself. My latest attempt was to make fun of the "I have a Blackberry" culture at work. I bought a little $10 Fisher Price Doodle Pro, fitted it with a little clip and started wearing it on my belt at work.

I would be talking to someone, make the sound "beep, beep,beep" and excuse myself to check "my blackberry." I had a string of similarly mindless gags.

I stopped wearing it around but people still insist that I show so-and-so "the blackberry." Now it sits on my desk as a kind of permanent post-it-note and that's how my staff leave me messages.

OK, that is the funniest thing ever. EVER.