Dating a good friend's sister. Is it really bad form?

[Nars Glinley]

Is this really a faux pas or is that just the realm of television? I grew up with 2 brothers so I have no experience in this area but if a good friend of mine that was a girl had wanted to date a brother, I'm sure that it wouldn't have bothered me. Are sisters really that different?

Please share your opinions and anecdotes.

[Kalhoun]

Not bad form at all, as long as you treat her well and don't sit around talking about how you fucked her senseless the night before. Lots of people meet their mates through a sibling.

[PaulParkhead]

My wife has a brother only, and years ago he dated one of her female friends.

It didn't bother her, she says, until the girl started going on about how good he was in bed. I imagine this works for dating a buddy's sister too

[tomndebb]

Deb and I started dating when my sister inadvertantly (I think) set us up. I think that would qualify as Deb dating a good friend's brother, so I have no objection.

I don't ever recall hearing that one is not supposed to date one's friends' sibs. (There are, as alluded above, some aspects of conversation that are best left unuttered, but I was never a big fan of discussing anyone's sexual prowess or proclivities, so I can't see how that would change just because the conversation is with a friend about their sib.)

[ZipperJJ]

I think lots of times guys have friends that they are close enough with to know are jerks and how they treat women, and wouldn't want them anywhere near their sisters.

But lots of guys have friends that they know are really nice and would be really happy if they hooked up with their sister.

My brother's lifelong best friend is a really great guy and we have a lot in common. But I could never date him because he was like a brother to me. I'm sure my brother would not have objected if we dated but it would have been awkward for the friend and me.

My buddy married the sister of one of his lifelong friends. The brother couldn't be happier because he knows my buddy is a truly stand-up guy.

[silenus]

No problem at all, with the usual disclaimers about bragging about how you nailed her.

[bouv]

I dated my long-time friend and at-the-time roommate's little sister last winter. The only issue he had was that my room and his shared a wall, and she is not the type who is quiet in bed. Thankfully, a little while later she moved closer to where I loved so that stopped being an issue.

[tomndebb]

Originally Posted by bouv

Thankfully, a little while later she moved closer to where I loved so that stopped being an issue.

Where you loved was closer than your bedroom?

[MissGypsy]

Originally Posted by bouv

I dated my long-time friend and at-the-time roommate's little sister last winter. The only issue he had was that my room and his shared a wall, and she is not the type who is quiet in bed. Thankfully, a little while later she moved closer to where I loved so that stopped being an issue.

bolding mine

That typo made me laugh.

I've dated my best friend's brother, but that was back in 9th grade, so it didn't really count. My husband's friend started dating husband's step-sister back in high school, and 20 years later, it's not looking so good, and my husband is caught in the middle. Maybe not always a great idea, although I suppose it works sometimes.

[matt_mcl]

I hope not; I'm dating a friend of my brother's right now.

[Manda JO]

In my experience, it's only a problem if either of the guys is a chronic womanizer or otherwise treats women very badly--the sort of guys that seem to almost avoid dating women that they take seriously. If it's the brother that treats women badly, he tends to assume his friend will treat his sister that way based on his own perspective: if it's the friend with the bad record, the brother knows how the friend treats women and doesn't want to see his sister added to the list.

[zagloba]

My grandpa married his brother-in-law's niece.
Then my grandpa's brother married my grandpa's wife's sister.
It seemed to work OK for them: all three couples had happy 50 year+ marriages and were parted only by death.

[muldoonthief]

I think it can be bad form if it's a male friend's younger sister - brothers are often raised to protect their younger sisters.

Two anecdotes from my college fraternity 20 years ago-

One friend of mine had a sister who was one year younger than him, and was seriously hot. Fashion model hot. She sent him a perfectly innocent yet ridiculously hot picture of herself that he was foolish enough to put up over his desk. Within 24 hours, it had been relocated to the bulletin board by the entrance with a signup sheet titled "Bang C's Sister". When she did come to visit 2 years later, C's best friend in the fraternity, who was notorious for his lack of success with the ladies, wound being the one who banged her. He also made the mistake of bragging to C about it. Pretty much destroyed a good friendship.

The second was when a total womanizer H started dating P's 2 year younger sister. P wasn't thrilled, but was generally OK with it (especially since his sister had been the one pursuing H) until his sister got pregnant. When she decided to keep the baby, H stepped up to the plate by cutting off all contact with her except for occasional phone calls to her where he'd say "Get an abortion!" then hang up. Somewhat surprisingly, P & H are still friends.

[OneCentStamp]

Originally Posted by tomndebb

Where you loved was closer than your bedroom?

Well, yes, bouv had left his heart in San Francisco, which is of course a fair shot from Burlington.

[tremorviolet]

I hooked my serial dater younger brother up with a good frined of mine. Seems to have worked out, they've been married for three years and have a kid. (I keep telling my parents I should get a cash bous for each grandchild. ) The only time when it's an issue is when my group of girlfriends get together and want to tell ranchy dating stories. I really, really, really, really don't want to hear about my brother's sexual activities. I can see where that sort of thing would be a problem with guys as well.

[OneCentStamp]

Originally Posted by tremorviolet

The only time when it's an issue is when my group of girlfriends get together and want to tell ranchy dating stories.

Paging Hal Briston?

[Monster104]

I think lots of times guys have friends that they are close enough with to know are jerks and how they treat women, and wouldn't want them anywhere near their sisters.

I had a friend like that, who got royally pissed off at me (end of friendship-type pissed) when I essentially veto'd his bid to date my sister - he just didn't get it and thought I had some vendetta against him, when the simple fact was that after hanging out with him for years and seeing how much of a womanizer and overall asshole he was, I wasn't about to be OK with him going out with her.

Suffice to say I haven't regretted not being friends with him anymore.

[TroubleAgain]

Originally Posted by silenus

No problem at all, with the usual disclaimers about bragging about how you nailed her.

And as long as all parties can act like adults when/if you break up.

[TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW]

As long as you're ok with the fact that it means that you subconsciously want to be banging your friend.

[nevermore]

I'd be ok with any of my friends dating any of my of-age siblings. My friends are all awesome people and I'd be glad to see a sibling of mine with them.

However, it weirded me right the fuck out when a guy friend of mine (specifically, my ex-boyfriend's brother) told me he has a huge crush my sister, though, because um... we're exactly alike. She's a younger and prettier version of me. Heh.

[Cardinal]

The band Delirious? (the question mark is part of the name) did this in spades. The singer, keyboardist, and drummer all married a sister of the bassist. Only the lead guitarist is not related to everyone else by marriage.

I've not been able to discover if this all happened after the band started, or if they coincidentally turned out to all be very musical after meeting through their girlfriends.

[Staggerlee]

I went out with a good friend's sister for about three years, and it wasn't particularly problematic, as for all my caddishness I was an improvement over the gallery of nuttters which had preceded me.

It is slightly problematic these days, as even years later she can't tolerate my company, which means I've missed out on a couple of get-togethers with my mate.

[Hal Briston]

Originally Posted by OneCentStamp

Paging Hal Briston?

Joke's on you -- I tie in closely with the OP.

I started dating my best friend's sister. He was pretty pissed about it at first, but came around to the idea. She and I have been married for over eight years now.