Don't steal the peas if you can't do the time

[Annie-Xmas]

Originally Posted by Sauron

I seriously doubt there's a pig, cow or chicken that sleeps well at night in this area.

I just had to take this sentence out of context

[ivylass]

Originally Posted by Sauron

Somebody (ivylass, maybe?) suggested once that Master Wang-Ka, Scylla, Sampiro and myself have some sort of storytelling contest. I responded that I'd cheerfully take fourth-place in that competition and be happy. Those guys have a gift ... I have pea stories.

Yep, that was me. You guys are on my Automatic Must Read Whenever They Post list.

You know, I must add, at least it was just peas. Can you imagine the carnage if (gasp! ) they had stolen a pitcher of sweet sun tea?

[Nawth Chucka]

I can understand their frustration at all the hard work of pea-shucking wasted by the theft; I recently grew a load of purple-hull cowpeas and though they are delicious and creamy, they must be hulled tediously. When I'm done my fingers are sort of indigo-tipped.

But the reward, when they are cooked up with ham ends and celery and onions and barley and spices and wine...so good.


eta - I laughed out loud at the mental image of someone trying to drink from a pilfered pitcher of tea while they ran.

[Sauron]

Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas

I just had to take this sentence out of context

No, those animals aren't safe around here. Terrible things have been done to them. Some folks even EAT them.

ivylass: Thank you.

[Zsofia]

Originally Posted by ivylass

Yep, that was me. You guys are on my Automatic Must Read Whenever They Post list.

You know, I must add, at least it was just peas. Can you imagine the carnage if (gasp! ) they had stolen a pitcher of sweet sun tea?

Or the sterotypical pie cooling on the window?

If they took a pie from me I wouldn't call the cops, I'd kill them myself, and then I'd bake a new pie. One of them English savory ones.

[Sampiro]

For those not familiar, Monroe County, where this crime took place, is the home of Nelle Harper Lee of To Kill A Mockingbird (and various recent movies about her pal Tru "Dil" Capote) fame. She based Mockingbird on an actual trial in Monroe County, and for 45 years she's never been able to bring another story to fruition as a novel.

Maybe these peas will break her writer's block, and in old age Scout will finally have a new adventure. To Steal a Rocking Chair... full of Peas.

[Tapioca Dextrin]

Originally Posted by Sauron

I bet editors at the New York Times were weeping into their Cheerios when they read that headline from the Monroe County Journal, because they realized they’d never get to write a headline like that.

NYT editors don't eat Cheerios. The only solid breakfast food they consume are the olives that go with their early morning martini.

[OneCentStamp]

Originally Posted by Tapioca Dextrin

NYT editors don't eat Cheerios. The only solid breakfast food they consume are the olives that go with their early morning martini.

Are they at least those blue cheese stuffed olives? Them things is good. That also covers two food groups!

[gigi]

Olive stuffed with feta.... ::Homer "beer nuts" drool...

[vetbridge]

Olives stuffed with jalapenos, Mmmmmmm.

[Sauron]

Originally Posted by Tapioca Dextrin

NYT editors don't eat Cheerios. The only solid breakfast food they consume are the olives that go with their early morning martini.

I'm sure you're correct, but "weeping into their early-morning martini olives" doesn't pack the same humorous punch as the Cheerios line. I took a little journalistic license with the essay, and assuming that NYT editors are sorta similar to regular humans was one of the points I stretched.

[ivylass]

Originally Posted by Sauron

assuming that NYT editors are sorta similar to regular humans was one of the points I stretched.

Well, there's artistic license, then there's sailing off the edge of the world.

[Sauron]

Originally Posted by ivylass

Well, there's artistic license, then there's sailing off the edge of the world.

You're right. Gotta rein that in a bit.

[LiveOnAPlane]

Originally Posted by Hockey Monkey

Or the same thing using yellow summer squash or zucchini. (Blech, butternut squash.)

An alternative for yellow squash is:

1. Fry a few bacon slices in a pan. Remove when done.
2. Drain off all but a few tablespoons of the bacon fat.
3. Drop in slices of yellow summer squash, a thinly-sliced onlon, and crumble some of your cooked bacon rashers over it.
4. Saute until squash is crisp-tender. Don't overcook until it is mushy!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.....

[mamboman]

Great story, but how in the heck are you going to get a unbiased jury now you have blabbed about it all over the Dope? Monroe County's gotta be chock full of Dopers!