moving w/o pets (or am I an ass for even considering)

[diggerwam]

I'm probably going to get chewed out for this but here it goes.

There is really nothing keeping me here in my small town. I just got new job, don't really like it, it's something to pass the time. My wife found out yesterday that her plant is closing in 6-9 months. We've been here for 9 years.

Over that time, we bought a house and have collected 4 pets (2 dogs and 2 cats), 3 of which are over ten yrs old.

Call it wanderlust, call it wanting a fresh start, my wife and I are considering moving back to the big city we lived in right after we got married (which we enjoyed immensely and visit a couple times a year, but not nearly enough). Neither of really enjoy this small town, and like I said, there is really nothing keeping us here. But if we moved back to the city, we'd move back into an apartment, nothing against home ownership, but prices are substantially higher than here and we'd be moving to city with no jobs or jobs we are just starting. Doesn't bode well to get mortgage.

Anyway, I can't imagine landlord being OK with 4 pets. I can't imagine dogs being OK as apartment dogs. That is the one positive living here, large fenced backyard. Am I an ass for even considering moving and finding a new home for my dogs? After all, we made a committment by adopting pets, it's like having kids. I feel horrible for even considering placing my (and my wife's) well being above the rest of the family (the dogs). We can stay here, but the big city gives us more of what we want. We aren't miserable, but I want to choose happiness, not just non-miserableness.

Has anybody out there been thru something similar and given up pets because they didn't suit your new life style choices?? How did you feel after??

[Zsofia]

I've never done it, but I don't think it's a sin as long as you find good homes for them.

[sandra_nz]

Yeah, people do it all the time, you often see it as a reason stated in ads.

[Duck Duck Goose]

Yah, me too. As long as both you and the missus are comfortable with the idea, and you don't just dump the animals at the pound, or, god forbid, out in the country somewhere, you have my blessing. I don't think you're an evil person.

However, dogs and cats do adjust perfectly well to indoor living; it may not be mandatory that you bid your critters goodbye if you move into an apartment. How big are the dogs, i.e. what breed? Larger breeds need more exercise, but even labs and retrievers can do very well with a couple of good walks in the mornings and after work, and plenty of toys to play with while they're alone in the apartment. And of course they'll have each other for company.

So I guess it comes down to, "how badly will you miss them if you give them up?" and "how much trouble are you willing to do to, to make sure they have what they need in an apartment"?

There are landlords who rent "pets allowed" apartments, yanno.

I can't imagine dogs being OK as apartment dogs

You've never heard of the profession of Big City Dogwalker? Never seen a TV show or a movie where the windblown, tousle-haired, unbearably adorable starlet (Meg Ryan, Julia Roberts, like that) in legwarmers and an L.L. Bean jacket is being dragged down a city street or through a park by 5 or 6 dogs on a leash? Sometimes she's on roller blades. Diabetics can't watch any further, because she's gonna Meet Cute with a guy and romantic hilarity will ensue.

Those dogs all live in apartments.

[WhyNot]

I don't think you're being an ass at all. I think you're being a conscientious pet owner who understands the literal reality that dogs, even well-loved, loyal and true family pets, are not people, and we do not have a moral imperative to treat them as people. We have (I believe) a moral imperative to treat them as dogs, and that means without causing undue harm, fear or pain. But it's very likely that your dogs can live a long, healthy and happy life with someone who can better meet their needs without coming to resent them for the sacrifices required for that. A working professional, say, who doesn't have time to train a puppy but would like companionship.

Put some ads in Craigslist and maybe the local vets' offices and start your search early, so that you have plenty of relaxed time in which to find a good home. Meet the applicants on their own turf, get to know them at the same time your dogs get to know them. A few meetings can make it all happy happy fun fun meeting a new friend and going to live with them, instead of abandonment and terror.

[romansperson]

Originally Posted by diggerwam

Anyway, I can't imagine landlord being OK with 4 pets.

You'd be surprised. It will almost certainly take more looking, but I know people with 4 and 5 pets who rent. And it doesn't necessarily need to be an apartment - townhouses, condos and houses can be rented too, often for not much more than an apartment, as long as you aren't looking for a palace. We rented a very nice first-floor apartment with two big dogs and while the dogs weren't *thrilled* with it, they were OK about it. The property had a park with walking trails, so that helped a lot.

The Internet saved our bacon, too - rent.com allows you to search for places in your target area that allow pets (though they want an email address from you now before they'll show you anything on search. You can always put a throwaway address in there ... ). You can also contact the animal shelters in your target area for listings of pet-friendly rentals.

If your pets are older, you would probably have a harder time finding good homes for them than you would finding a place to live and taking them with you.

[vetbridge]

I deal with this often. Keep in mind that generally, animals are less placeable the older they get. Of the euthanasias I perform, the majority are due to health issues, followed by behavior problems, then relocation.

[AuntiePam]

We had two cats and a dog (Bonkers, Mamma, and Buddy) when we left Seattle for Iowa. We would have liked to bring them along, but we were going to be staying with relatives until we found a house.

We were able to find good homes for all of them. We started by posting photos and info at our vet's office.

It was really hard to leave them. They'd been with us for five or six years -- Mamma was ten. Bonkers and Mamma went to two of my son's friends, and adjusted well. Buddy (yellow Lab) went to someone we didn't know, but we got a good vibe from them. But I'll always remember Buddy looking at us from the back seat of their car as they drove away.

[Shera]

I personally feel that taking in a pet is a commitment for life. I also believe it is possible for your pets to be happy in an appartment. I lived with two cats and one large dog in an apartment for over a year. They were all fine. You just have to be sure that the dogs get all the exercise that they need. I found that a walk in the morning and one at night to be perfectly sufficient. People live with animals in apartments all the time, and I don't see it as a reason to get rid of your pets.

That being said, I wouldn't hold it against you if you decided not to take them. Everyone's situation is different and some people just don't have time for two walks a day. If that is the case, then I say give them a good home where they will be happy.

[Contrary]

Diggerwam,

Be prepared for judgment from people if you go this route. We chose not to move our dog with us for our upcoming move. Some of our friends have completely understood this was a hard decision that we made and that we have chosen what's best for us and for our dog. Others have taken the position Shera mentions, although they weren't as kind about it.

Ultimately it's up to you and your wife. Just be responsible either way you go. Good luck should you choose to move--I'm really not enjoying this part of getting to a different city (being apart and trying to sell a house in a crappy market).

[sugar and spice]

Have you looked into renting a house? There are many neighborhoods in Chicago where the rents for houses are actually cheaper than apartments in more popular areas (and crime rates are comparable). Seriously, rents tend to go up for things like nearby shopping and public transportation, many renters could care less about having a yard.

[cowgirl]

When I was growing up (in a small town) we had a dog, and when he was pretty old we moved across the country to a city. My parents figured he was too old to be able to handle such a disruption and change in lifestyle so they found a home for him on a nearby farm. It was hard on all of us, but taking him with us would have been even harder.

Now I have a big dog in a downtown apartment and he couldn't be happier. Of course, he's never known anything else so YMMV.

[SomeUserName]

If you can find a good home for them then I am not going to bash you.

As others have stated they may do well in an apartment, especially the cats. You did not say what breed the dogs are. Of course a very large breed may not do well with limited space but it is still possble. I would suggest looking for a house to rent rather than an apartment.

One of the dogs and one of the cats I adopted off of Petfinder where because of people moving.

Hanna's previous owner was transfered to Florida and had to stay with a friend for awhile and she could not take Hanna with her. Hanna was almost thirteen when we adopted her.

Zagnut's family was a military family and he was being stationed elsewhere, she was five when we adopted her in May of this year. Five is not old for a cat but you would be surprised that some people think anything over two or three is old.

Older pets can be placed but is harder to find people to adopt them. Both times I adopted I was not looking I just happen to be scanning Petfinder and my heart went out to their owners that had some challenges happening in their lives and had to give up their pets.

If you can find a place and take them with you then please do so, if not then do your best to honestly find them good homes.

[Zsofia]

PS - I have always felt this must be what happened to Dewey, the first cat I got. Before he appeared at the shelter he had already been chipped, neutered, etc. In other words, he was somebody's family pet. They left him in the "don't ask don't tell" cages that are really for dogs by the shelter. When we got him we were afraid there was something wrong with him once we learned he was pre-chipped - maybe he was a carpet pooper? No, he's an amazingly well behaved cat. He doesn't even scratch the furniture. Somebody dumped him there instead of finding him a home. Those people are assholes. People who find their animals good homes when they move, those people are fine.

[FourPaws]

I wouldn't be able to do this.
I have five dogs and a cat. In past times, we've had chickens, geese, ducks, turkeys, and pigs on our parcel of splendour.
I would have no problem leaving livestock (other than a horse) behind, but to leave my dogs behind? I couldn't handle that, nor would I think it fair to my dogs.
But then again, if you can place them in a good home and can deal with it, then, okay.

But as Vetbridge said, he sees euthanasia being performed due to relocation. In my mind, that is just sick.

[SomeUserName]

Originally Posted by FourPaws

But as Vetbridge said, he sees euthanasia being performed due to relocation. In my mind, that is just sick.

The lady I got Hanna from was going to do just that. When she brought her to the house and we saw she was a good dog and she got along with our other two dogs and cats we told her that we felt it was going to work out just fine.

She started crying and saying she was so happy she found her a home because she did not want to have to put her to sleep.

I also wanted to add if you do decide to re-home your pets please do it early enough to find a good home. Do not wait a week or two before you need to move.

Both people I got Hanna and Zagnut from were literally days away from having to move when they made the ads. Give youself plenty of time and re-post ads often if you do not hear from anyone within a week or two. Most people looking to adopt do not scan though ads over a week old.

[Eyebrows 0f Doom]

Originally Posted by diggerwam

I can't imagine dogs being OK as apartment dogs.

I've read that there are over 283,000 dogs in Manhattan, and I'd have to think that most, if not all, of those live in apartments.

[missred]

A few years back, I had to re-home my two cats, Figaro and Domino, due to an emergency move. They were 9 and 10 years old, but I found a man just out of college with one cat of his own who not only provided them with a good home, but allowed me to visit occasionally! He called when Figaro developed bladder cancer and the decision was made to euthanize her (we both cried) and again when Domino passed away in his sleep at the age of 18.

I wish that it had been possible for me to keep them myself, but in the end, they had a great person to love them.

[Broomstick]

I have rented all my life. During that time I have owned cats and birds, and multiple pets most of that time.

You CAN find rental places that permit pets. Even if the boilerplate lease says "no pets" you can always ask for an exception. You won't always get it, but there's no harm in asking. I find that offering to put it in writing that I will repair/replace/pay for any damage caused by the animals can often make landlords more open to the idea because pet damage is a major, major headache for them.

I would also like to point out that older animals might adapt better to a smaller living space than younger, more active animals but of course, all animals are different.

That said, I have also had to find new homes for pets I've had a long time.

Personally, I feel it's up to you to either negotiate with landlords, or to find new homes. Both have their good points and bad points.

[diggerwam]

Both of my sisters have apartments and a dog, so I know it can be done. I just don't know if that type of life is fair for most dogs. We have two Border Collies and they are very happy with the big backyard, I can't imagine them adapting to no free running outside space and 2 walks a day instead of going out and chasing squirrels. That is a huge shift. It can be done, I just don't think in this case it's wise. or fair.

Renting a house is a possibility, but again, not to sound selfish, I want to pick out a place to live based on whether I love it, not based on whether I can convince the landlord to take 4 pets. I don't want to come into the apartment hunting with that big stipulation. I don't want to automatically lose out on 90% of the places I see.

[Hanna]

I moved from a country house on land to an in-town condo with a largish dog and two cats. The cats had been indoor/outdoor cats for awhile, to make things worse.

It took some looking (the first thing I asked when I called about a new place to live was "Do you allow pets", and if the answer was "no", I thanked them and moved on to the next place on my list) and now searching on Craigslist makes it easier because you can check the boxes on the search page to eliminate places that don't allow pets. It is possible, and my dog adjusted well to being a town dog that took walks instead of being a country dog that was just let out to do his thing in the woods.

[Marienee]

As we were getting ready to move from the US to the Netherlands, I was talking to my neighbor about my worries concerning moving our cat -- both in terms of the vet/travel arrangements and in terms of his immanent lifestyle change. Shortly thereafter I received three seperate requests from different families to be allowed to keep him.

He is a great cat. It was also a great neighborhood. He is still King of All He Surveys which is a lovely thought. We certainly miss him but I have little doubt that he is better off.

He was sort of old to figure out how to say "meow" in Dutch after all.

[whiterabbit]

I once had to give up a cat when I moved. He went to a rescue, and from there to a family in Mississippi. I don't know anything beyond that, but while it absolutely sucked to do it, I would never hold it against somebody who had to move without their pets as long as they find said pets a new home one way or another.

Your animals are your responsibility, but part of that responsibility is knowing when you can't take proper care of them and finding somebody who can.

[romansperson]

Originally Posted by diggerwam

Both of my sisters have apartments and a dog, so I know it can be done. I just don't know if that type of life is fair for most dogs. We have two Border Collies and they are very happy with the big backyard, I can't imagine them adapting to no free running outside space and 2 walks a day instead of going out and chasing squirrels. That is a huge shift. It can be done, I just don't think in this case it's wise. or fair.

Renting a house is a possibility, but again, not to sound selfish, I want to pick out a place to live based on whether I love it, not based on whether I can convince the landlord to take 4 pets. I don't want to come into the apartment hunting with that big stipulation. I don't want to automatically lose out on 90% of the places I see.

I got two words for you:

Dog Park. Most, if not all, big cities have them. And it's a good way to meet people too.

If you are moving to a big city, you are not going to be lacking for choices in rentals that you both like and that are pet-friendly. Trust me on that. We very much liked the apartment we had - so much so that we thought of buying a house in that development (it was one of those planned communities that had houses and townhouses as well as apartments), but the houses were a bit too pricey.

But whatever you decide to do, starting early is important. You aren't going to find a decent rental or a decent new family for your pets by waiting until the last minute.