Bald-Faced Lies

In My Humble Opinion
1

You’ve probably seen those lists called “Interesting Facts”, which contain tidbits like “a duck’s quack does not echo”. The following are simply not true, but hopefully interesting. Add your own!

104% of the world’s population is named “Wendy”.

The Sugar Maple is really a member of the genus Gorilla.

Tuba playing significantly reduces the risk of contracting athlete’s foot.

The Internet is not secretly controlled by Martha Stewart.

The Chinese word “wonton” is from the German “gemuetlichkeit”, which means
aardvark.

There are no references to apples in any of the world’s literature before 1981.

If you close the third item in your Windows 95 tray, you will never again have a system crash.

Roy Rogers’ horse Trigger was foretold by Nostradamus.

Four out of five American teenagers are practicing Satanists.

It is illegal to climb a tree in Kansas.

Britney Spears holds six patents and is the ghost author of a popular book on gardening.

No American president has had exactly ten toes.

A piece of celery hidden in your shoe will make you more attractive to the opposite sex.

John Gotti had Julius Caesar killed.

Former British Prime Minister John Major was based on Rocky the Flying Squirrel.

Mint-flavored toothpicks were discovered by accident.

It takes six American Mallard ducks to fill the Grand Canyon. It takes pi chipmunks.

The state song of Mississippi is Alice Cooper’s “School’s Out”.

Next week’s lottery numbers are 7-22-23-28-31-41.

Abraham Lincoln invented the wheelbarrow.

Beer and diamonds are chemically identical.

2

It’s illegal to climb a tree in Greenland.

3

Isn’t it bold-faced lies??

4

Mahaloth, you had me worried there.

No, I looked it up. “Bald-faced”, i.e. beardless or unconcealed.

You must be thinking of the National Enquirer.

5

Either of the candidates will make a fine President.

Hey, somebody had to do it!

6

The common ant has to cock it’s hind legs when urinating as their urine is slightly acidic.

7

Im glad i read this thread.

8

It is illegal to drink American beer in Dundalk, Ireland.

9

Platypi do not cast reflections.

Oliver Hardy and Stan Laurel were actually the same person.

2+2 actually equals 4.0000000001

The moon is not actually a sphere. It is a cylinder.

Polar Bears have been known to migrate to Boca Raton, Florida.

New Jersey law mandates that children must include a blessing for Bruce Springsteen in their nightly prayers.

Until the year 1934, “ice” was referred to as “really hard water.”

Styrofoam was originally designed as a desert topping.

The term “short circuit” was named for Winston “Shorty” Circuitapalauski.

In Russian, “yo-yo” translates as “Walla Walla, Washington”.

10

The Elutian Lemming kills itself via electrocution.

90% of the ingredients in Pudding Pops are used to make industrial spackle.

Until 1947 all members of Congress were required to submit a full pint of blood.

The Etruscian Alphabet only contained one letter.

11

You can have the body you’ve always wanted in just 8 minutes a day.

12

Richard Gere is in an episode of MASH.
Hot water freezes faster than cold water.

Al Gore is boring(he’s always seemed passionate to me).

George W. Bush is stupid and his father got him into Yale and Harvard.

Bill Clinton’s impeachment was about sex.

A transexual “woman” has been recorded having a baby.

Guttenburg invented the printing press.

Guttenburg invented moveable type.

Beer is better for you than Milk.

Detroit’s Public Schools are underfunded.

Abraham Lincoln was passionately against slavery.

We are winning the drug war.

13

It is illegal to drink Irish beer in Dundalk, Maryland.

14

It’s not a bug, it’s a feature.

15

Eighteen Half Truths

16

I made these up and sent these out in a chain letter to all of my friends a few months ago. I just wanted to see if it would ever be sent back to me after making its way around the world. So far, no luck.

  1. The FDA recently came out with a new report. They secretly took samples of food from fast food chain restaurants across the country. It seems that over TWENTY FIVE PERCENT of the food sampled has rat droppings and/or human hair above the FDA standards.
  2. Women with long hair are over 40% more likely to have lice.
  3. In 1996, there were 5,497 reported cases of babies being found in dumpsters.
  4. If you live in Arizona or New Mexico, you’re three times as likely to develop leprosy as anywhere else in the US.
  5. Since 1990, a total of 25,942 people have been arrested for bestiality.
  6. Since 1990, a total of 3,251 people have been arrested for necrophelia.
  7. One out of every eight people will, whether accidental or intentional, kill someone in their lifetime.
  8. The Calemba, a snake prevalent in Northern Africa, feeds its young from its own feces.
  9. The average American now spends well over 12 hours a day at the computer.
  10. At the present rate of usage, we will completely run out of available 10 digit phone numbers by 2006.
  11. At least 6% of the world’s population is having sex right now.
  12. At least 76% of the world’s population is under the influence of some type of drug right now (which could help explain #11).
  13. On any given night, at least one insect will land on your face while you sleep.
  14. 63% of the population ate glue at least once in elementary school.
  15. The average American will spend 7 years of his or her life in the bathroom
  16. The average American will eat 89 tons of food during his or her lifetime.
  17. A person will view their favorite movie an average of 43 times.
  18. 23% of the world’s population has never seen snow.
  19. 36% of the world’s population has never left the country they were born in.
    and the scariest one of them all:
  20. Pokemon has now surpassed Monopoly in game sets sold.

[sub]This information was gathered from, among other places, the Brittles Almanac of World Information, Franklin’s Source, NPR, and The Scientific Journal of Research and Discovery (SJRD).[/sub]

17

Four out of five dentists recommend getting stinking drunk after every meal.

After being presented with a petition containing the signatures of 2,245,896 people, the National Park Service has decided to add a portrait of Johnny Cash to Mt Rushmore.

John Wayne flew F4U Corsair fighter planes in the Pacific during WWII as a United States Marine.

Every spring in Inverness, Scotland, local men and tourists risk life and limb in the “Running of the Haggis”.

William Shatner does not wear a toupee.

18

The common housefly never stops growing, and specimens have been found having a 1-foot wingspan.

The incredible frog-boy is on the loose again.

Televisions and VCRs (as well as numerous other inventions) were created by a secret US agency decades before they were officially “invented” and only slowly dispersed to the world’s population.

Hebrew scholars have hidden for years a page of the Bible’s Genesis story that, translated, states: “This work is completely fictional. Any relation to events past or present is purely coincidental.”

Standard 3.5" floppy disks can actually hold up to 25MB, provided one edits the boot sector properly.

Police officers are not allowed to arrest any pregnant woman, for any reason, in Hayward, MN.

Over half of all Usenet posts are by one very lonely, sad, pathetic person who has been traced to a shack in Wyoming.

Over a dozen popular movie stars are actually digital beings created by large corporations. I am not allowed to divulge the names of these popular celebrities, but the public would be shocked (shocked!) to learn the truth.

The movie industry actually supports Napster, because they have secretely distributed carefully constructed MP3’s, disguised as popular songs, that cause WinAmp and/or Windows Media player to crash and delete your entire harddrive.

3 out of 4 doctors think the fourth doctor doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

BlackKnight is the most intelligent and interesting poster on the SDMB.

:wink:

19

That should be music, not movie. Ugh. :frowning:

20

Boy George is a direct descendant of Genghis Khan.

The movie Never Been Kissed was foretold by ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs.

Dan Rather had gender reassignment surgery at the age of 20.