I’m concerned about the purity of our nation’s supply of electricity. How can I be sure the current flowing through my appliances isn’t contaminated?
Does anyone have any suggestions? I’m also interested in similar issues that I can worry about when I’m not worrying about this one, if anyone can think of any.
(Yes, I know. Just play along.)
If you’ve installed the appropriate filters in your premises (to ensure that the fridge and freezer only receive cold electricity, and to make sure that the TV gets a full RGB supply, etc), you should be fine, as these also typically filter out impurities into a small tray - make sure you empty these trays on a regular basis - with the power turned off, of course, or else impurities continuing to be filtered may leak onto the carpet.
And electron stains are the WORST!
I only use bottled electricity.
You’re probably only saying that because you’ve never had to deal with a spillage of holes.
But don’t the tray contents in the landfill just seep back into wires?
Me, I’m trying to figure out how to tell the sex of dust-bunnies before things get even more out of control around here. I’m trying to keep from having to bring another batch to the shelter…
I try to purchase only fresh, dynamic electricity, preferably generated from a dynamo. I think consumers who settle for static electricity are shocking.
Sailboat
Thanks, Mangetout, for your expertise. On a related note, when the switch to a light fixture with an empty socket is left on, how long do I need to leave the doors and windows open in that room before the electricity in the air is dispersed to safe levels?
You really should be buying Powdered Electricity in bulk. Not only is it cheaper, youi mix it on the premises, so there are no impurities.
Just remember to mix it with dehydrated water! Otherwise the results can be… shocking.
It depends on the volume of air in the room. My rooms have a volume control knob near the light switch, specifically for this reason.
We prefer free-range organic. You can taste the difference as soon as yourself into the mains.
Get a few hamsters and wheels. You’ll need about 900 to keep your fridge cool. Feed them only raw foods and you’ll be guaranteed to have nothing but certifiable organic electricty.
You’ll get used to smeel of hamster pee, don’t worry.
ETA: I think the Dope uses them to power the server, but they’re fed beer and nachos, so it’s not “organic” electricity anymore.
Be sure to board up any umused outlets to prevent electerical leakage, and to bar contaminants from entering the system.
I was going to suggest that 
Also; be vary careful when handling vacuum. It has no smell, and it can kill you in a couple of minutes. It’s also infinitely compressible so a small bottle can contain an unlimited amount of the stuff. This is why you should always make sure to correctly re-seal your vacuum bottles after use.
Joking aside, there really is such a thing as “dirty power”, also known as “AC hum”, a side effect of sharing wiring in your house with things with generators like A/Cs and refrigerators. It can cause periodic spikes and dips in the voltage, resulting in distortion or interference in video display devices and amplified audio devices.
It sounded like hokum to me until I had this problem with horizontal interference lines moving slowly from the bottom to the top of the image coming from a video projector. I gave one of those “Monster” power bars with a “Clean Power” system a try, and it went away. Either plugging it directly into the wall, or using a standard surge protector strip resulted in the problem coming back. Huh.
That’s pretty much been discredited now - recent research has shown that it’s nearly always caused by bees or wasps nesting in the meter box.
And you could have solved this simply by letting the cables run on a slight gradient, to allow the horizontal interference to drain away.
One thing that worries me is related to cars (or other vehicles).
Lets say that you are driving at 50km/h, and come up to a red light, so you stop, right? Now where does all that speed that your car had before the stop GO? Am I supposed to believe that it just DISAPPEARS? No, I believe that the governments aren’t telling us the truth about this, and I believe we will soon have big problems with speeds polluting our streets, and I don’t think I have to tell anyone how dangerous THAT might be.
There’s actually a theory that some impurities are good for the immune systems of electrical appliances. If the electricity is too pure, then they become prone to all sorts of allergic reactions. You * do not * want a refrigerator with a peanut allergy or a vacuum cleaner that’s allergic to dust mites. (Interesting factoid – a vacuum cleaner can sneeze at nearly 300 miles per hour.)
I dunno, how sure about this theory are you, Finagle? To my mind, avoiding energy that is “too pure” probably hertz more than it helps.
I would also suggest that you consider the Campbell theroy of fluid electricity which states: If you don’t have an appliance pluged into a wall socket, the electrons will flow out of the wall socket and all over the floor creating a mess. You should always have all your wall sockets with plugs inserted into them to prevent this electron mess.