I don't know how to meet somebody

[FloatyGimpy]

The title sums up the body.

I've been divorced for three years and I'm ready to be in a relationship again. Actually I've been ready for some time now but I don't know how to meet somebody. I'm told I'm pretty. In some areas I'm above average intelligence and in others, just average. I know I'm nice and I have a lot of love and affection to give to the right man.

There are some days that I feel so lonely. I want someone to love and to love me.

My standards are pretty high. He has to be intelligent. Stupid people bore me very quickly. I don't live in a large city and most people meet at the pub which doesn't interest me in the least.

How do I meet someone?

[Sunspace]

Lessee. Nice, intelligent, posts on the SDMB and lives on Vancouver Island?

Hi. I'm Sunspace.

[Sunspace]

All silliness aside, are there people near you who share your values and interests? I've found that I meet people best when doing something I like anyways, and they're doing it too.

[Kalhoun]

Floaty, meet Sunspace. Interesting guy, and available. And in da 'hood. I suggest you two email back and forth for a bit and meet for coffee.

Or, join a club. Nothing like a class or project discussion as an icebreaker.

Good luck!

[Lobsang]

In my experience - Meeting people is mostly done by accident. You tend to meet people by not intentionally intending to do so. This happens more when you are a kid than when you are an adult. As an adult the people you meet are nearly always met because of your job.

[Sunspace]

Originally Posted by Kalhoun

Floaty, meet Sunspace. Interesting guy, and available.

:: blush ::

Originally Posted by Kalhoun

And in da 'hood.

If you define 'da hood' as 'you don't need a passport to get there'. I'm 3300 km away in Toronto, but my aunt lived in Vancouver Island, and I remember how beautiful it was. I hope it hasn't all been logged or something.

[Kalhoun]

Originally Posted by Sunspace

:: blush :: If you define 'da hood' as 'you don't need a passport to get there'. I'm 3300 km away in Toronto, but my aunt lived in Vancouver Island, and I remember how beautiful it was. I hope it hasn't all been logged or something.

Oops. There's my glaring lameness in Canadian geograpy being all obvious again.

But in cyberspace miles, it's just across the street, right? RIGHT?

[FloatyGimpy]

Toronto is a bit of a drive away to meet up for coffee, not to mention a boat ride away too!

As for meeting someone at work, I have two jobs. I won't meet anyone at my one job as I'm alone in an office for that one. I've recently started working at a bank though and I'm hoping that will help me to meet someone. The only problem is I work with all women so the only men I meet are clients.

I like astronomy, reading, fishtanks, dinosaurs, chess ( gee, no nerd here, eh? )

I there isn't an astronomy club here and, if there is a dinosaur club, I don't think I'd want to meet it's members as they most likely would be too nerdy even for me!

I'm just stumped as to how I should go about meeting someone.

[lobotomyboy63]

Ever check out meetup.com? It has all kinds of groups with varied interests....

http://www.meetup.com/cities/ca/bc/vancouver/

PS-What are these people, chopped liver?
http://chess.meetup.com/250/

[Johnny L.A.]

Actually there are several Dopers in the area. Vancouver Island, Vancouver, Surrey, White Rock... and Langley? There should be a Southern BC Dopefest. Can't guaranty that you'll meet an SO, but you'll get to hang out with people who have similar interests.

[FloatyGimpy]

Originally Posted by lobotomyboy63

Ever check out meetup.com? It has all kinds of groups with varied interests....

http://www.meetup.com/cities/ca/bc/vancouver/

PS-What are these people, chopped liver?
http://chess.meetup.com/250/

The chess club is in Vancouver, not to be confused with Vancouver Island.

I see there is a Furries Club nearby! ( I think that's the thing where people dress up in animal costumes and have sex )

[twickster]

Originally Posted by FloatyGimpy

I see there is a Furries Club nearby! ( I think that's the thing where people dress up in animal costumes and have sex )

I can't tell whether the idea appeals to you or not....

Try online personals. OKCupid is a free site.

[Spoons]

Originally Posted by Sunspace

:: blush :: If you define 'da hood' as 'you don't need a passport to get there'. I'm 3300 km away in Toronto....

Aw, you've been needing a trip out West for a while, Sunspace. Here's the perfect excuse. Stop by on your way through Calgary and say hi, eh?

[FloatyGimpy]

Originally Posted by twickster

I can't tell whether the idea appeals to you or not....

Try online personals. OKCupid is a free site.

No, it doesn't appeal to me!

I am signed up with www.plentyoffish.com. I have gotten replies but not really anything that makes me think " I have to meet this person".

[Kalhoun]

Originally Posted by FloatyGimpy

Toronto is a bit of a drive away to meet up for coffee, not to mention a boat ride away too!

As for meeting someone at work, I have two jobs. I won't meet anyone at my one job as I'm alone in an office for that one. I've recently started working at a bank though and I'm hoping that will help me to meet someone. The only problem is I work with all women so the only men I meet are clients.

I like astronomy, reading, fishtanks, dinosaurs, chess ( gee, no nerd here, eh? )

I there isn't an astronomy club here and, if there is a dinosaur club, I don't think I'd want to meet it's members as they most likely would be too nerdy even for me!

I'm just stumped as to how I should go about meeting someone.

A book club might be a good choice for you. Also, let all your friends know you're looking. It's a great way to meet people, and they're pre-screened!!

[twickster]

Originally Posted by FloatyGimpy

No, it doesn't appeal to me!

I am signed up with www.plentyoffish.com. I have gotten replies but not really anything that makes me think " I have to meet this person".

The folks at OKCupid seem less illiterate to me than the folks at POF.

[Johnny L.A.]

Originally Posted by FloatyGimpy

I like astronomy...

I've always wanted to learn about astronomy. I even have a nice telescope. But in the summer it gets dark too late, and the rest of the year clouds prevail.

[FloatyGimpy]

Originally Posted by Johnny L.A.

I've always wanted to learn about astronomy. I even have a nice telescope. But in the summer it gets dark too late, and the rest of the year clouds prevail.

Me too! I have a super nice telescope that my grandpa left me when he died and I have no idea how to use it.

Thanks, Twickster, I'll give OKcupid a look.

[Johnny L.A.]

Originally Posted by FloatyGimpy

Me too! I have a super nice telescope that my grandpa left me when he died and I have no idea how to use it.

Yeah, we're... what? Twenty miles apart? Forty? Stupid PNW weather, messing up the viewing! I listen to Star Date on NPR, and then look out at the obscured sky. Sometimes I miss living in the desert. (Not to mention the fascinating geology there. I should have studied it when I had the chance.)

[FilmGeek]

Originally Posted by FloatyGimpy

Me too! I have a super nice telescope that my grandpa left me when he died and I have no idea how to use it.

Thanks, Twickster, I'll give OKcupid a look.

Take a stargazing class. Find someone cute who can show you how it works.

[lavenderviolet]

I agree that OKCupid seems to attract more interesting and intelligent folks than PoF, so it might be worth a try.
Even though you work with females, there's a good chance that your female coworkers know some single men! If you let word get out that you're looking, and give them an idea of what you're interested in, I'll bet they will introduce you to some guys.

[Silver Tyger]

Originally Posted by FloatyGimpy

I see there is a Furries Club nearby! ( I think that's the thing where people dress up in animal costumes and have sex )

Ok, this has been bugging me, so I have to say it. NO furries are not just people who dress up as animals to have sex. Furries are people who like anthropomorphic art, stories, cartoons, and movies. Yes, there is a small proportion who have fursuits. There may in fact be a small portion of them who have sex in fursuits. Furry fandom is not just about sex, any more than Star Trek fans all dress up like Klingons or anime fans all watch tentacle porn.

/ignorance fighting (Sorry, but it really bugs me)

Back on topic, I'm only 26 but I have a hard time making friends. I'm in college but I have to WORK to connect with anyone. And I'd like to try having a boyfriend, but I have no idea how to jump from being friends to dating, seeing as I never have.

I think as soon as finals are over, I'm going to check out Meetup.com more closely. Or any Dopers my age in my area wanna hang out? (not just in a dating way, either. I have very few friends who live close enough to hang out casually) (course part of that is because between work and school I have no time *sigh*)

[FloatyGimpy]

Originally Posted by Silver Tyger Girl

Ok, this has been bugging me, so I have to say it. NO furries are not just people who dress up as animals to have sex. Furries are people who like anthropomorphic art, stories, cartoons, and movies. Yes, there is a small proportion who have fursuits. There may in fact be a small portion of them who have sex in fursuits. Furry fandom is not just about sex, any more than Star Trek fans all dress up like Klingons or anime fans all watch tentacle porn.

/ignorance fighting (Sorry, but it really bugs me)

Back on topic, I'm only 26 but I have a hard time making friends. I'm in college but I have to WORK to connect with anyone. And I'd like to try having a boyfriend, but I have no idea how to jump from being friends to dating, seeing as I never have.

I think as soon as finals are over, I'm going to check out Meetup.com more closely. Or any Dopers my age in my area wanna hang out? (not just in a dating way, either. I have very few friends who live close enough to hang out casually) (course part of that is because between work and school I have no time *sigh*)

Sorry Silver Tyger Girl, my only knowledge of Furries was from an old CSI episode. Thank you for clarifying.

[Silver Tyger]

Originally Posted by FloatyGimpy

Sorry Silver Tyger Girl, my only knowledge of Furries was from an old CSI episode. Thank you for clarifying.

=^.^= It's okay, that's where everyone gets it. I wasn't taking it personally.

[Cat Whisperer]

Originally Posted by FloatyGimpy

<snip>
I am signed up with www.plentyoffish.com. I have gotten replies but not really anything that makes me think " I have to meet this person".

See, you're looking at online personals the wrong way. You can use the online personals for concentrated dating - like just about everything else in life, the more you do something, the better you get at it. If you were to go meet a bunch of guys, you would probably get better and better at doing the ol' "meet and greet" that is an integral part of online dating.

The second thing I wanted to say about online dating is that you don't know that other person until you've actually met them. If you have a couple of potentials who interest you on paper, go meet them. I guarantee you that after you meet them, you will know right away if you're interested or not - you just don't know the chemistry until you meet. You want to meet someone worthy whom you can love and who will love you back - chances are very good they're not going to come knocking on your door. You have to go get them.

-featherlou, coming up on my sixth year wedding anniversary with a guy I met online