What is “Game” in connection with a boy talking to a girl? I saw a dude with a giant 1970’s era afro (he was white) walk by, and the person I was talking to said “look man, that’s the dude who asked out that girl, and got rejected–he’s got no game.”
So what exactly is “Game” and why do you need it to ‘pick up’ a girl?
It’s the same as mojo in Austin Powers. Having game means you’re good at picking up girls, so having it helps pick up girls. How’s that for a bit of circular logic?
In the context you mention, it’s having skills at picking up women, but one can also have ‘game’ at basketball, Mario Kart, whatever. It’s just a synonym for talent and technique. As an intensifier, see ‘mad game’ or ‘crazy game’.
I’m referring to “picking up” women – what is ‘game’ in this regard? I dont get it–does it mean they have special hypnosis powers? Don Juan?
Don’t be silly. It’s just a way of referring to people who ostensibly have a good grasp of the social skills involved. They aren’t magic.
It’s having a good line of talk. It’s being able to chat them up, charm them, make them think you’re worth spending time with.
This doesn’t require hypnosis (at least for some guys ;))
Here’s the OED, the earliest known cite being from a 1989 song called ‘Sir Mix-A-Lot’.
The term has spread from basketball skills, etc to skill on other areas of life.
If you’re really interested in reading about game, as opposed to learning it, Neil Strauss wrote a book about it.. I guess it was interesting, although I’m skeptical about Neil’s wilder stats.
Basically, it’s a mixture of patter, self-confidence, and a feel for what the woman wants to hear. Think of it as campaigning in an election for Mayor of Bootytown.
Ok, but why then does it work? I dont get why women consider you to have superior genetic fitness because you can manipulate and BS. Are women utterly stupid?
You’re basically asking why being charming is attractive. Think about that.
No, but a guy trying to get with the girl, and the girl trying to figure out if he’s interesting enough for at least a one night stand aren’t trying to find life partners. They’re engaged in . . . well, sort of a game.
After reading Strauss’s book, I’ve come to the conclusion that these aren’t people who are obsessed by profound matters. Most of this game playing takes place in bars and clubs at weird hours of the night.
Also, these women aren’t necessarily looking for jocks and studs with great abs, although great abs don’t hurt. They’re also attracted to interesting guys who show a little intelligence and ingenuity and who aren’t going to roll over and play dead just to get into their pants. The Game involves trying to catch and hold her attention as quickly as possible before she gets distracted by something more interesting.
I should probably note that I don’t speak from experience. I’ve always been kind of quiet and shy, even when I was athletic. I have, however, known some truly awesome players (Don’t ask me how. I’ve always tended to have unusual friends, and I have no idea why.), and that’s how they’ve always seemed to me. Reading Strauss’s book just confirmed it.
I would recommend The Game, it’s a very interesting look at the “seduction” community, whether it is exaggerated or not, I can’t say, but I don’t think the high numbers of sexual encounters are outside the realm of possibility. There’s a whole subculture of guys who go to seminars with guys like Ross Jeffries and David DeAngelo and learn all kinds of psychological techniques. A lot of it is based on NLP (neurolinguistic programming) which is less complicated than it sounds - it’s basically the art of thinking and talking pro-actively and in a goal-oriented way.
The way I look at “the game” is, that cologne that you’re wearing or that shirt that you put on or that flashy car that you have are not themselves guaranteed to give you game, but since game is so much about confidence, if you think that the cologne is helping you, if you think that the shirt looks good, then that positive thinking will give you increased confidence and those material objects will, in a roundabout way, help you. But there’s no one way to be that will work, some kind of magic bullet formula - everyone’s different and every guy has different strengths that can work to their advantage. A key component is to have a good balance of confidence and humor. Too much confidence, and you’ll come off as arrogant. Too much humor, and you’ll come off as goofy. Neither of those things are sexy.
The game is a fun read. Don’t expect to read it and know the secrets of picking up women, though. Most guys who get into the whole ‘seduction community’ thing take the opposite message out of it than they should. They focus on ‘gaming’ girls, instead of developing themselves as people, which is what Neil Strauss, Mystery, etc. are actually trying to teach.
Of course, they’re not basing their decision on that per se. But being socially adept and able to charm other people is an extremely valuable skill in human societies. Since it’s apt to make a person successful, it’s just the sort of thing that would be selected for.
Nope. If we assume this trait is heritable (which is a big if), a man who can charm women into sleeping with him may be likely to produce sons who can likewise charm other women, thus ensuring that their mother’s genes are also passed on and spread through the population. So such a man may be a very good choice with respect to genetic fitness, even if he doesn’t stick around.
A guy I know, was drinking a Sparks, back when it was new. The hottest chick in the bar came over to him and said “what are you drinking and is it good”. He said. Yeah it’s good, it really puts me in my zone". She said “what do you mean?”. “Well I like to play Online Hockey with my XBox, and it puts me in my zone”. She walked away.
That isn’t game
Women liked to be wooed by “charming” men (I say that in quotes because most men that claim they have game are about as charming as Flavor Flav). As proof that it’s not limited to humans, you can observe it in much of the animal kingdom as well. Male peacocks doing strange mating dances and displaying feathers to impress female mates is humorously similar to males fast-talking women in bar scenes.
It’s funny that while our species have come so far in technology and knowledge, we still have animal-like behavior when it comes to trying to get laid. One could argue that having “game” is an evolutionary trait, since those with it would reproduce more than those lacking it. The same holds true for animals, as you don’t see the males failing to impress females mating much.
Wait, being a gamer isn’t having game?
I’m so confused…
Actually, Sir Mix-A-Lot is the artist. I Got Game is the song title.
I thought indistinguishable said it best
as a method to pick up girls. Through trial and error, you realize what works and doesn’t work, so when the situation arises again, your chances improve. Some people don’t pick up on those social cues, don’t improve, and don’t get the girl. The game.
There’s a lot of books and websites out there, but I think it’s all a bunch of hogwash. Well, sorta. It’s all logical, and for the most part true. If I do a retrospective analysis when I hook up, it’s probably a classic example on those sites, but you can’t read it, memorize it, then follow it in some ordered step. It’s more of an art, and self discovery. Realizing what social situations work (for me it’s BBQ’s and parties) and what doesn’t (bars). When to give up, when to start playing those games, etc…
At a minimum, the literature out there is interesting. Even more interesting is ‘ladder theory’. Check it out.