I Am In Hell

[Jack Batty]

You see, it's my job. There's something about my job that most of you don't know. Specifically it's that it ABSOLUTELY SUCKS!!!

I'm an administrative assistant for a large corporation. Which means I schedule meetings, run out for donuts, order equipment, sort mail, and contemplate slashing my wrists on a daily basis.

Give me a job.
No seriously, I want a new job. Give me one.
I'll write movie reviews for you. I'll noodle through ideas for you new video game. I'll perform in your play. I'll do data processing for you. I'll compose your family newsletter. I'll water your plants, walk your dog, wash your friggin' car. Just give me something worth waking up for.

Ha, ha, that's funny Jack. The ol' worthless job schtick.
I'M FRIGGIN' SERIOUS!! GIVE ME A JOB!!



Whoa, that felt good to get off my chest.

But really, anything, I'll do anything, just employ me. Some of my fellow dopers have to be bigwigs somewhere. I'm begging here, don't make me debase myself any further.

[slackergirl]

Hi Jack,

What are your computer skills like? Do you have a degree? We're hiring administrative and project coordinator types now. Pays pretty good, some positions have flex-time, casual environment, shuttle from cal-train for you folks living the car-free lifestyle. There's occasionally beer in the breakroom fridge. Of course (as I've mentioned before) I'm not just saying that because I get a bonus if they hire someone I've referred. Email me if you're interested.

[Demo]

Dude, you and me both. I'm almost ready to dig sitches or something. I hate my job. Maybe you and I could trade.

[tisiphone]

How's your computer skills? Wanna be a Helpdesk tech in the BOB (Back-of-Beyond)? You have already mastered the essential skill of contemplating wrist-slashing. Just remember - Down, not Across.

You can: explain how to reset your password to the same fifty people each month when their password expires,why the technician hasn't showed up at their desk yet, why the equipment isn't here yet, why changing the color on your desktop is NOT an emergency, why we can't do (insert random nuisance request here) Right Now, and where precisely is (insert random person or machine) Right Now, etc., etc..

We're short one right now and my boss's recruiting efforts are dismal.

Tisiphone

PS Yes, this is semi-serious . . . e-mail me . . .damn, slackergirl beat me to it. What about you, Democritus?

[Catfood Purrito]

The Mayo Clinic has a lot of openings in administrative stuff, in Rochester, MN, Scottsdale, AZ, and Jacksonville, FL. They have their job openings posted on http://www.mayo.edu, the benefits are great, and I'm basically happy here. Well, I'll be happy once I start taking advantage of the full tuition reimbursement program and I educate myself out of this secretary crap.

[Jack Batty]

That would be a long commute. I suppose I should have mentioned that I reside in San Francisco.


One other thing that delved me into Hades today.
Nobody answered my Neilson Family query in General Questions. Grr.

[Arnold Winkelried]

Originally posted by Democritus
I'm almost ready to dig sitches (sic) or something. ... Maybe you and I could trade.

I think administrative assistants are expected to know how to spell.

[yosemite]

No, I'm in Hell.

It's called the Midwest.

Oh? That's not what you meant?

(Sorry, I could not resist. _{It's joke!! JOKE!})

Sounds like people are giving you some good leads, Jack. Best of luck!

[Demo]

See? I just can't win! Arnie!!!! Grrr.....

[oldscratch]

Originally posted by Jack Batty
That would be a long commute. I suppose I should have mentioned that I reside in San Francisco.


One other thing that delved me into Hades today.
Nobody answered my Neilson Family query in General Questions. Grr.

Got any tech skills?

And hey, how come you never email me back? loser.

[Jack Batty]

When did you email me? Did I miss it?

I got a few tech skills, nothing overwhelming. I'm a top-notch user. Computer user, that is.

[Snooooopy]

I'm starting to get irritated with my job, too. It's starting to feel like I can't do anything right no matter what I do. And those idiot parents I have to deal with don't make it any easier.

[evilbeth]

Hey, if you don't mind a mind-numbingly idiotic boss, a hospital full of morons who cannot remember four-digit phone numbers and some coworkers who feel that it is their goal in life to harass you and get others to hate you--then you should move here and work with me! What? Your job sounds better already? That's what I'm here for!

[Jack Batty]

Nope. Didn't quite do it evilbeth. What you described actually has inklings of human interaction. All I get here are cryptic emails, while I sit in my little rat-maze-like cubicle. Oh, how I dream of being abused like that.
In fact, I was already to hit you up for a job, until I realized I'd have to move.

I once toyed with the idea of going in for some EMT training. But that was when I lived in Maine. Something tells me that being and EMT in SF would be a little different. Still, that little thought nugget is still rattling around in my brain.

My other semi-lead is The Recording Arts. I'm attending an open house for a tech school specializing in that on Dec, 2 (that's the reason I'll be late for the Dopefest). If that works out, I might just try to go to school full time and squeeze out an associates degree in a year and a half.

But, that not withstanding, I'm still open to all offers.

I was hoping one of you was a millionaire who needs to have his children tutored in Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 or something.