Thar she blows

[aha]

2000 posts.

Isn't this the milestone where all the women of the straight dope offer me hot monkey sex?

[Monster104]

I thought you were talking about something else entirely!

Does this mean you're going to curse us with a "Western Union 2000" remake?? Please god, no!

You owe me, man. I've endured 2000 of your posts.

[poohpah chalupa]

Where does one go to find a hot monkey?

You go, aha!!

[aha]

Does this mean you're going to curse us with a "Western Union 2000" remake?? Please god, no!

Monster funny you should ask that!!! We go to the studio this summer to cut the dance version of Western Union! Yep that's right. Then maybe we'll cut a techno version, and then rap and who knows maybe we could also turn it into a country ballad. Then there will be the comedy version Western Onion hahhaha..then....the heavy metal version and...

[nashiitashii]

Originally posted by poohpah chalupa
Where does one go to find a hot monkey?

Well, I know this place downtown where you can get a monkey... we can make it all hot at my place. lol

[Enderw24]

::sung in soprano::

In the post two thooooousand. In the post two thousaaaaand!

Aha will realize that all women who want to sleep with him are really concrete in disguise

In the post two thooooousand. In the post two thousaaaaand!

aha is offered hot monkey sex, only to discover that gorillas have a one inch penis

In the post two thooooousand. In the post two thousaaaaand!

Cecil Adams makes a personal appearance...but tells aha that he never really liked him in the first place.

In the post two thooooousand. In the post two thousaaaaand!

post counts are padded faster than a pre-teen invited to prom.

In the post two thooooousand. In the post two thousaaaaand!

[dpr]

*chuckles at Ender's tres cool parody*

Oh wait! Now I'm padding.... oops.


Let me know what happens with the monkey sex aha: I'm getting closer to 2000 myself...

[Whammo]

AhA, you are only like.... 183 posts higher then me... but each one has been 10,000 times more important then mine. You're so cool... I respect you as a person and a poster and a suckup to the Nth degree. You aha, are the epitome of what every poster should be on the Straight Dope Message Board. I FOR ONE SALUTE YOU GOOD SIR!!!

*bows and backs out of the room humbily*

[aha]

I FOR ONE SALUTE YOU GOOD SIR!!!

Thanks whammo! No need to address me as sir though, your emminence or majesty will do.

[Demo]

Originally posted by aha
2000 posts.

Isn't this the milestone where all the women of the straight dope offer me hot monkey sex?

Why yes, it is. You mean you didn't get your hot monkey sex? :: stifled laughter ::

Oh well, I'm sure it will come in the mail or something...


Happy 2K hooha.

[Gunslinger]

Good for you.

[Zenster]

Happy 2K aha!

Have fun with the monkey for me.

[hypergirl]

Happy 2000. So it's hot sex you want? I suppose I'll oblige.

:::Strips of clothes and stands waiting:::

[nashiitashii]

But jess, you're not a monkey. He wants hot monkey sex.

[hypergirl]

I can act like a monkey!

[Kat]

Congratulations, hoo-ha!

[evilbeth]

BWHAAA-HAAA-HAAA-HAAAA-HAAAA!!!


I am hijacking your 2000th post thread to announce that this very post here is, in fact, MY 2000th post!!!!

Yes, I realize that no one cares but hey, aren't you glad I didn't waste another entire thread just to share with you?

[nashiitashii]

Originally posted by hypergirl
I can act like a monkey!

That doesn't matter! You have to be an actual monkey to engage in hot monkey sex with aha!

[Danalan]

Two 2000's, in 2000!

Way cool! Keep it up.

evilbeth, what are you looking for in the way of a reward? Monkeys seem to be popular for post parties, although I think chinchilla's would be way more fun. . .

[dpr]

You're hijacking a 2000th party with a 2000th party??

Cooool. Congrats to you too Evilbeth!! Tell me you don't want a monkey too...

[evilbeth]

No, no, no--no monkeys for me!

However, I do seem to be running short of well-muscled, well-oiled, horny 6-ft. masseurs, if anybody has one to spare...

[aha]

Evilbeth you are truly evil!

[Odieman]

::Odie enters the room:: Who ordered the monkey in the negligee? ::looks around::: I don't want to know what's going on in here......::leaves::

Happy 2K aha, enjoy your new friend err pet.

Keith

[iampunha]

Originally posted by ssskuggiii

That doesn't matter! You have to be an actual monkey to engage in hot monkey sex with aha!

Thanks for my new sig line. I swear, I go through these things faster'n . . . well, a lot of stuff.

[Saint Zero]

Wow. Congratulations!

And won't the ASPCA get on your case about corrupting young monkeys?

[Crunchy Frog]

Originally posted by evilbeth
However, I do seem to be running short of well-muscled, well-oiled, horny 6-ft. masseurs, if anybody has one to spare...

Um . . . I'm horny and 5'10" is that close enough?

Congrats you two!

[JimmyNipples]

Hot monkeys? Those freekin' monkeys, acting all hot. Oh, they think they can just waltz in to your kitchen and start jumping on the counters and banging pots and pans all the live long day. Their little monkey pants, filled with gold coins, their evil grins, their crazy monkey hats, sitting askew on their hairy monkey heads.

This one monkey, we'll call him "Earl". He comes up to me and says in his monkey voice; " Find me a suitable perch!" I says,"You'll have to kill me first!!" He says, " Weeeeee!" Thirty seven minutes later I'm stuffed into a shopping cart, with a plunger and a roll of tinfoil to keep me company.

That is one day I'll never forget.


Damn monkeys. Think they're sooooo hot.

[lurkernomore]

Gee, and from the title I thought it was another of Dropzone's lonely hearts threads... this one would get the guys' attentions...

[Munch]

Dammit Demo and KitKatt, you beat me to it! But regardless...

Happy 2KP, Hoo-ha!

In celebration, I will hereby commission this tuxedo-outfitted monkey catapult in your honor. Would you like the first fling?

:oints to the large exploding ceramic fish mosaic in the distance::

[hypergirl]

Originally posted by ssskuggiii

That doesn't matter! You have to be an actual monkey to engage in hot monkey sex with aha!

But he said he wanted hot monkey sex from the womer of the Straight Dope.

[nashiitashii]

Originally posted by hypergirl

But he said he wanted hot monkey sex from the womer of the Straight Dope.

Well, technically he meant with the monkeys. The women bring the hot monkeys over and then all they get to do is watch aha have hot monkey sex. Now, until you can prove to me that you're not a human, but a monkey, you cannot have sex with aha, so there!

[hypergirl]

Well you're no fun!

[aha]

hypergirl don't listen to sskuggii I'll accept hot sex of any kind!

[hypergirl]

See, I told you so Tasha!

[casdave]

Take care there m'boy, you keep it up they'll make you a mod.

Avast thur ye lubbers, foist me tops'l and strangle me sheets.

Pass me that bottle ay rum Jim'n get in that barrel boy arrrrrrhhhaaaaaarrrrrr

[carnivorousplant]

Congratulations, evilbeth!
aha who?

[aha]

CP you deviant swine!

[evilbeth]

::smooches carnivorousplant::

[Persephone]

This thread whooshed right on by me. My head was somewhere up my butt, I think.

[John Belushi] There was a fire! An earthquake! A flood! I had a flat tire![/John Belushi]

Is it too late to offer you hot monkey sex?

(I'd offer hot monkey sex to you too, evilbeth, but, well, you know. How 'bout some chocolate instead?)

[evilbeth]

Originally posted by Persephone


(I'd offer hot monkey sex to you too, evilbeth, but, well, you know. How 'bout some chocolate instead?)

Chocolate? Naw, don't much care for the stuff. However, if you have any sexy Irish guys just hanging around taking up space you could send one my way...





(I wonder if the "housecleaning" in the Pit is going to move either aha or myself back below 2,000 posts? Then we could do this all over again!)

[Persephone]

However, if you have any sexy Irish guys just hanging around taking up space you could send one my way...

Um, my husband is Irish. Want him?

[aha]

Um, my husband is Irish. Want him?

Hey what a coinkydink I am too!


Cristi you are forgiven. How could I not forgive you.

[evilbeth]

Originally posted by Persephone

Um, my husband is Irish. Want him?

Does he give massages?

[carnivorousplant]

So does it involve dressing up in costume, or what?

[Odieman]

It depends how co-operative the monkey is.